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Do Your Friends Ever Make Fun Of Other People's Acne?


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#1 jessikur55

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 01:01 AM

I've had acne... well forever. It was HORRIBLE in high school, but I can now say that I have MODERATE acne (YAY! ONE SMALL ACCOMPLISHMENT!!)

 

Anyways, I graduated high school two years ago, and one of my favorite teacher's sons started going to my old high school. He was (still is) quite good looking. He started getting older and developing severe acne. Its to the point where he constantly has scars. His face is crusted over with dried blood. When I first noticed his acne, I felt so bad but I never said anything (I don't like others commenting on my acne and I don't do it to others who have it).

 

So one day my friend and I went to a band concert and stayed a bit after to talk to some friends. Well my teacher's son was there and was taking a group picture with his friends. They yelled at him to smile and he said "I can't it hurts..." He was broken out so bad that it HURT for him to smile. My heart sank when I heard him say that. My friend who was next to me then whispere "Eww look at his ugly acne, how on earth did he get so ugly so fast? He needs some proactive."

 

I nearly punched the bi*** in the face. IF she was making fun of him, I can't imagine what she says about me when I'm breaking out! And nothing pisses me off more than when people tell me "You need Proactive!" PROACTIVE ISN'T FOR EVERYONE YOU IGNORANT FU**.

 

So yeah. That really upset me . I wonder if people thought of me like that (and still do) when I look as bad as he did.

He and I didn't choose acne. If we could, it would all be gone with the blink of an eye. Am I the only one with friends who judge others for having things they didn't choose to have? ;( What would you have done in my situation?



#2 Adayinthelife

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 03:11 AM

No, I have never heard my friends or other peers mention other peoples skin, I'm sure it would have happend at least once but it was probably said when they were not listening, like your friend. I wouldn't really know what to say in that situation, probably something like  "it's just acne, what's your problem?". I agree, other pimple suggesting ways we should get rid of it is very annoying, they usually no nothing about it and if the fix was that simple, we wouldn't have it in the first place.



#3 Lilly75

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 08:26 AM

Some people can really be so ignorant! 

 

I've heard my friends complain about getting a small breakout and how ugly it makes them - and that always frustrated me. I wanted to tell them 'At least you're not the one with a constant face full of acne!' And if they thought a small breakout was ugly, then they must have thought I was hideous...  

My mum will sometimes make comments like that too and complain about one painful spot she'll occasionally get. Everyone has the right to be upset or whatever over a breakout, but when they have one pimple and basically completely clear skin but go on as if it's the worst thing imaginable, it really annoys me. I'd like to see them try and cope with a face full of acne (well, not really, I wouldn't wish this on anyone). 

 

I'm also still good friends with a girl I met in first grade, and when I catch up with her she often says that she'd love to go to a primary school reunion so that people could see she doesn't have 'gross acne' anymore. This also frustrates me - because it's completely obvious I still have acne and pigmentation scarring to boot. It's always awkward for me when she mentions it and how her acne made her gross and awkward etc - so does that mean I'm gross and awkward looking because I still have acne? Maybe it does. But I never know what to say when she says things like that. I don't remember her having acne anyway so it must have been quite mild - I guess mine was mild then too (about 12yrs old). But she's been lucky to out grow hers and has lovely skin now - I can only hope that I'll be rid of acne one day!

 

I think a lot of people who have been lucky enough to never have had acne, have no idea how hard it can be, and they  seem to think of it as a minor issue, or something that just effects your skin - which isn't true - it can effect you emotionally and impact your whole life. People need to realise it's not just an issue of hygiene, or a problem just for teens, and also that it's not easy to fix for everyone (and that proactive is not always the answer! :P)



#4 dejaclairevoyant

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 09:16 AM

I honestly don't think I've ever heard anyone say something so mean.



#5 Stella the diver

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 10:02 AM

Well, my friend likes to baby her boyfriend a lot and she's been telling me how she tries to convince him to use face wash. She says how he doesn't wash his face all the time, but he doesn't have acne at all, maybe one or two minor zits. I think she worries that he'll get acne if he doesn't use face wash. I was upset when she told me that. It's his skin, not hers. So I told her that if that works for him, then why worry for him, having acne doesn't mean you're dirty or because you don't wash your face with some product. 



#6 snsdgirl14

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 11:55 PM

I haven't heard my friends make fun of anyone for acne, but I have heard them comment on other people's acne. Just comments like "Oh, he'd be better looking if it weren't for the acne" and such, which I guess is understandable. Nothing horrendously cruel. Though it makes me VERY uncomfortable when they say things like that, because then I feel self conscious about my own skin. 



#7 Adayinthelife

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 06:07 AM

I haven't heard my friends make fun of anyone for acne, but I have heard them comment on other people's acne. Just comments like "Oh, he'd be better looking if it weren't for the acne" and such, which I guess is understandable. Nothing horrendously cruel. Though it makes me VERY uncomfortable when they say things like that, because then I feel self conscious about my own skin. 

 

Yeah I think those sort of comments can go a long way because they reinforce the negative feelings that it brings us, if somebody wasn't already trying to get rid of it, a comment like that would be enough to convince them to take action, we should be able to decide for ourselves and feel comfortable and not have other people make us go rushing to the chemist to stock up on skin care products. 



#8 grace103

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 06:19 AM

I personally haven't really heard anyone make comments about others skin, thankfully! I think people tend to be pretty focused on themselves and their own appearances, so when they experience a small breakout it makes them feel gross but they probably wouldn't even notice other people who's skin is much worse. Everything's relative! 



#9 Perseverance92

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 08:00 AM

Well, my friend likes to baby her boyfriend a lot and she's been telling me how she tries to convince him to use face wash. She says how he doesn't wash his face all the time, but he doesn't have acne at all, maybe one or two minor zits. I think she worries that he'll get acne if he doesn't use face wash. I was upset when she told me that. It's his skin, not hers. So I told her that if that works for him, then why worry for him, having acne doesn't mean you're dirty or because you don't wash your face with some product. 

I can stand anything but ignorance.People who think poor hygiene causes acne need to be schooled.I think a basic medical education should be made mandatory in every school worldwide.

                                                             Just an anecdote : One of my friend who is a devout vegetarian,regularly consumed cod liver oil capsules.(By the way he has angelic skin. I've never seen skin better than that.)He said it was prescribed to him by a physician recently.I asked him if he knew what was in it.He shrugged reeking of ignorance.I told him it's the liver oil of cod fish.It was a shocker for him.I mean dumb fellow couldn't get that from the name...



My friends have NEVER made fun of my acne.Although they keep pointing out occasionally the severity of my acne.But unfortunately they do pass snide remarks on  other's acne.That sometimes make me feel that had i been a stranger to them,i would have been a victim of their callous remarks too.There's a guy in our college .He has the severest acne i have ever seen.He has cysts the size of a dime.Everybody calls him gross.Even i call him gross.But that's because he has a wicked personality (he could burn your blanket when you're sleeping.He did that to my friend).He drinks  a full whiskey bottle everyday (Because of depression). He smokes pot and abuses girls.

 

But i believe he would have been a wonderful boy if he didn't have acne.His wicked behavior is because of his depression and because every body makes fun of him.That is why we should NEVER make fun of people who are sensitive about their skin or ANYTHING.It makes them self conscious and after a period of time ,the depression could manifest itself in a vile personality.

 

By the way this guy has a girlfriend and she's one of the prettiest girls in our college.Gives me everlasting hope . LOL tongue.png


Edited by Perseverance92, 01 July 2013 - 08:05 AM.


#10 Sum1killme

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 11:06 PM

I dont have any freinds but if i did im pretty sure they would and i would end up knocking them the fuck out.



#11 Mandarine

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Posted 02 July 2013 - 07:15 AM

What would you have done in my situation?

I would have pulled of your friend's eyebrows, in yelling "Be quiet, idiot".



#12 emilyology

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Posted 02 July 2013 - 07:54 PM

I would be hella pissed if one of my friends said something, especially knowing I'd suffered from the same issues. I do find myself pitying the individual occasionally, because I know what it feels like, but I never even express that out loud.



#13 TheOneThatGotAway

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Posted 02 July 2013 - 09:53 PM

Never because I have good taste in friends. If I were you, I'd dump your friend on the sideline and unfriend her. What a fucked up thing to say.



#14 Randall Flagg

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Posted 04 July 2013 - 07:21 PM

I've had some stupid ass friends in my day, so yeah I've had some experiences like this. I remember one guy I used to pal around with mentioned that he had an "ugly pimple on his nose" like ONE single pimple...while I'm standing there awkwardly with a face like the surface of the moon. He was either blissfully unaware of what he was saying or he said it just to get on my nerves, who knows.

 

But on the same token, I've had friends who have been supportive about that kind of thing...I remember a good friend of mine from after high school, very sweet girl told me this story where one of her old bfs was picking on some guy at a bar about his acne and she exploded on him about it and defended the guy saying "he can't help that!" so it really depends, some people are caring and some people are shallow asswipes.

 

The girl originally mentioned in this post is obviously a shallow asswipe and I'd second the "dump her as a friend" suggestion.



#15 Perseverance92

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 01:54 PM

When people say "Dump friends who make fun of acne".They make it from their heart.With over flowing emotions.Think from the brain please.Everybody has flaws in their personality.I was recently asking my friend about a dainty little girl in our class.He said "She has a big pimple on her cheek".He meant  the pimple made her look ugly.She lost her beauty.That was his final verdict.But does that means he is not worthy of friendship and that i should dump his friendship? NO.He is a gem of a guy otherwise.

 

A person who never had acne cannot think from an acne afflicted individual's point of view.You have to explain him.YOU! And if despite that they don't understand then continuing friendship with them is up to you.But personally i will never stop being friendly with people if they are insensitive about acne issues.THAT is if they are great human beings otherwise.If they suck in all other spheres too.Then they go to the bin STRAIGHT!



#16 AyeAye

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 10:14 PM

When people say "Dump friends who make fun of acne".They make it from their heart.With over flowing emotions.Think from the brain please.Everybody has flaws in their personality.I was recently asking my friend about a dainty little girl in our class.He said "She has a big pimple on her cheek".He meant  the pimple made her look ugly.She lost her beauty.That was his final verdict.But does that means he is not worthy of friendship and that i should dump his friendship? NO.He is a gem of a guy otherwise.

 

A person who never had acne cannot think from an acne afflicted individual's point of view.You have to explain him.YOU! And if despite that they don't understand then continuing friendship with them is up to you.But personally i will never stop being friendly with people if they are insensitive about acne issues.THAT is if they are great human beings otherwise.If they suck in all other spheres too.Then they go to the bin STRAIGHT!

 

Totally agree with this.  I don't believe for a second that we have never said in our entire lives an insensitive remark.  Such as "he would be nice looking if he wasn't losing his hair", or "shame he/she is fat", or  "if only he was taller".  Its human nature to find fault.  Just because your are sensitive to remarks about acne, doesn't mean that you yourself don't make equally hurtful remarks about things others are sensitive to.

 

I think I have worded this all very clumsily but I'm sure you get the drift.



#17 Perseverance92

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Posted 11 July 2013 - 09:32 AM

When people say "Dump friends who make fun of acne".They make it from their heart.With over flowing emotions.Think from the brain please.Everybody has flaws in their personality.I was recently asking my friend about a dainty little girl in our class.He said "She has a big pimple on her cheek".He meant  the pimple made her look ugly.She lost her beauty.That was his final verdict.But does that means he is not worthy of friendship and that i should dump his friendship? NO.He is a gem of a guy otherwise.

 

A person who never had acne cannot think from an acne afflicted individual's point of view.You have to explain him.YOU! And if despite that they don't understand then continuing friendship with them is up to you.But personally i will never stop being friendly with people if they are insensitive about acne issues.THAT is if they are great human beings otherwise.If they suck in all other spheres too.Then they go to the bin STRAIGHT!

 

Totally agree with this.  I don't believe for a second that we have never said in our entire lives an insensitive remark.  Such as "he would be nice looking if he wasn't losing his hair", or "shame he/she is fat", or  "if only he was taller".  Its human nature to find fault.  Just because your are sensitive to remarks about acne, doesn't mean that you yourself don't make equally hurtful remarks about things others are sensitive to.

 

I think I have worded this all very clumsily but I'm sure you get the drift.

Yes.Having a not so immaculate personality,i am full of flaws.I sometimes make fun of others too.But i regret it.I am not a bad human being.I am very sensitive.So if i am not perfect ,how can i shun others for their imperfections?I can only tell my friends to be more sensitive.I can ask them not to pass snide remarks .

 

We can only strive to be perfect.But can we actually be perfect? No. Perfectionism is a vague concept.


Edited by Perseverance92, 11 July 2013 - 09:34 AM.


#18 ohsnapitzkacy

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Posted 13 July 2013 - 12:37 AM

So i just turned 17 and started college life last month. This girl and i were became friends when school started. I've always thought she was that kind of person who would be sensitive enough to care for another person's feelings because she'd always share about how she doesn't want other people to feel down about what she says or does. Turns out she didnt keep her words and was the complete opposite of what she said after all. A few weeks before, i heard her talking loudly to her other group of friends about how nasty someone looks like with acne and zits or how gross someone's face would look if those big pimples would disappear leaving holes and scars or how thankful she was because she wasnt one of those people who suffers acne.

I wouldn't mind her talking about acne if she didnt continue making more mean comments about people with acne and laughed about them with her group of friends but as an acne sufferer myself and a person who goes to class with other people who suffers acne as well find it offensive how she'd say such remarks especially saying it in a room full of people who already are aware and are insecure about their flaws. Theres not a week where she doesnt talk people with acne. Now how insensitive could she get?

#19 omgmike4

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 05:14 PM

I notice people with acne lots of the time. I don't make judgements and make fun of them, but instead I just think in my head, that I know what you are going through. Sometimes I have friends with acne and I don't usually ask them about it unless im friends with them for a long time. When I try to talk about it, they just try to skip the conv and say it doesnt matter bla bla bla. THe fact is, that I know what they care and I do too. Talking about it helps both of us out. I always try to see if they put anything on it too, Just so I can add things to my routine and maybe try a new combo out. I try to give them advice too if they seem interested, but normally the subject dies very quickly. If I had a friend make fun of acne. Id get mad and say u aint perfect urself. JUst make mes furious. all the effort I put in all day with acctane, creams and the whole enchilada and at the end of the day it just regrowns. God its like torcher.



#20 Jasmine001

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Posted 20 July 2013 - 10:18 PM

The friends I used to have that needed to make comments about other peoples' imperfections obviously have serious insecurities about themselves that they felt would be lifted by making fun of someone else. When you're feeling down about yourself, making someone else feel worse is always a quick remedy to these kinds of people... it takes the attention off of your flaws. I would never point out someone's acne, because I can completely relate to anyone with acne. I understand how horrible pointing out /any/ flaws makes someone feel. I wish people were more aware of others :(