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Its Been A While Since I've Cried Over My Acne :|


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#1 jessikur55

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 11:22 PM

I had come to a point where I accepted my acne as a part of me that was never going to go away. I'd look at myself in the mirror, shrug, and move along. Nothing new. Just the usual ugly acne and scars.

I had come to think of myself as a zero. Zeros are used as place holders. They're useless, and valueless; much like myself. I'm a place holder for my pretty friends. I make them look better just by standing next to me. In fact, I had become okay with that.

 

Today, I was wearing my fancy Sephora make up at work today. I've been working this job for almost two years and I had never had someone bring up my acne; except for one of my supervisors who used my acne as a means of making me quit. That was almost a year ago. A customer came in, I rang her up and as she was leaving she looked at me and said "Not to be mean or anything....." oh. hell. no. I snapped my head towards the back room so fast, I could've died. I had just gotten transfered to this store a week ago so I wasn't familiar with the staff and I didn't want my new coworker to hear this conversation. She started talking about the benefits of Vinegar for acne (been there, done that). I just zoned out and tried not to cry.

Now I'm home and I'm sobbing. Working is the only thing that makes me feel worthy of life. Its the  one thing that keeps me from being a hermit in my room. Now I'm here crying because I'm not worthy of my job with pretty girls. I'M THE UGLY DUCKLING. Except this duckling doesn't get a happy ending.

 

 



#2 Sunsetismellow

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 12:11 AM

Dont feel that way u shouldnt put yourself down like that. Theres always people who are going to be inconsiderate of people feelings , but then theres people who look pass imperfections and are not at all judgemental. I know how exactly how you feel but please dont feel down because i know how u feel then you should know your not alone thats why this forums are here to help each other with same issue we are goin to. But dont let rude insignificant comments put you down.

#3 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 12:19 AM

Aww hon, I could just hug you right now! I felt like I was reading something I wrote. I know exactly how it feels to feel like the ugly duckling. I am the ugly sister, the ugly duckling that stands next to my sister and makes her look even prettier. She gets all the boys, all of the attention, and all of the compliments when we're out together. My heart breaks a little more inside every time a boy looks right passed me, right through me, and stares and drools over my sister. It hurts. I feel like my life is worthless, like I am worthless, and I will never be happy or live a fulfilling life, all because I have repulsive skin.

 

I know my words probably won't make you feel any better, but you are beautiful, and you are worth it. Please try to believe it. There will always be stupid, ignorant, shallow people, but please don't let them make you feel worthless. I really hope you will start to be happy. All the best to you.   



#4 Vanessa2002

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 01:45 AM

Have you tried accutane for your acne?



#5 Ribbonettes

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 02:08 AM

I had come to a point where I accepted my acne as a part of me that was never going to go away. I'd look at myself in the mirror, shrug, and move along. Nothing new. Just the usual ugly acne and scars.

I had come to think of myself as a zero. Zeros are used as place holders. They're useless, and valueless; much like myself. I'm a place holder for my pretty friends. I make them look better just by standing next to me. In fact, I had become okay with that.

 

Today, I was wearing my fancy Sephora make up at work today. I've been working this job for almost two years and I had never had someone bring up my acne; except for one of my supervisors who used my acne as a means of making me quit. That was almost a year ago. A customer came in, I rang her up and as she was leaving she looked at me and said "Not to be mean or anything....." oh. hell. no. I snapped my head towards the back room so fast, I could've died. I had just gotten transfered to this store a week ago so I wasn't familiar with the staff and I didn't want my new coworker to hear this conversation. She started talking about the benefits of Vinegar for acne (been there, done that). I just zoned out and tried not to cry.

Now I'm home and I'm sobbing. Working is the only thing that makes me feel worthy of life. Its the  one thing that keeps me from being a hermit in my room. Now I'm here crying because I'm not worthy of my job with pretty girls. I'M THE UGLY DUCKLING. Except this duckling doesn't get a happy ending.

Have you tried changing your diet?

 

Omg, I can't believe someone said that to you!!! When my acne was bad, having someone say that it looked bad was my absolute worst nightmare. 

And I can't believe your supervisor used your acne to make u quit! What a bitch. I can't stand it when people point out stuff like that. 

 

I can relate to you because I'm in the beauty industry & when I was going to cosmetology school my face broke out and it was completely embarrassing. 

There I was sitting in class, trying to eat healthy, & we're discussing skin disorders & acne :[ and what's worst was when the girls with clear faces would freak

out because they had 1 zit or a "bad" hair day : P I don't even want to get into make-up anymore because I'm never even close to flawless anyways..

 

From looking at your picture, you look like a very pretty girl x]  You're not hopeless! You're not useless either.  People who go through acne are the humblest people I know. 



#6 aanabill

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 03:13 AM

honey,which moron on earth told u u're ugly??!

u r not.

and there's no need to cry darling.

1stly,i would like to know what have u tried for ur acne.

 

and then i am coming back to ur emotions.

we all know what u r going through,and yes,it is depressing at times.

but ask urself, are u just what ur skin is?

is there nothing more in u beyond ur skin?

did u get an answer.

 

 

p.s if thats u in the picture.

i am jealous.(i dnt the perfect teeth set.i have a small gap between my front upper teeth.i always have wanted a smile like that)

i am a lil' conscious about my smile.

=D



#7 aanabill

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 03:30 AM

Aww hon, I could just hug you right now! I felt like I was reading something I wrote. I know exactly how it feels to feel like the ugly duckling. I am the ugly sister, the ugly duckling that stands next to my sister and makes her look even prettier. She gets all the boys, all of the attention, and all of the compliments when we're out together. My heart breaks a little more inside every time a boy looks right passed me, right through me, and stares and drools over my sister. It hurts. I feel like my life is worthless, like I am worthless, and I will never be happy or live a fulfilling life, all because I have repulsive skin.

 

I know my words probably won't make you feel any better, but you are beautiful, and you are worth it. Please try to believe it. There will always be stupid, ignorant, shallow people, but please don't let them make you feel worthless. I really hope you will start to be happy. All the best to you.   

u could not be as pretty as ur sister but isnt there anything that makes u worth it?

 

i am prettier than one of my cousin.(she's kinda over weight)  (i say prettier for its not like she's ugly.but i am slimmer and fairer than her so may be i can be considered prettier by standard definition)

and if a guy is around ,i know he will look at me .

but deep within i know that i can never become the great human being that she is.

if i was a random guy(not her sister and not a girl) who would get to spend time with myself and her , at the end i'd choose her.

she's amazing as a person and also as a girlfriend.

 

i am single(not for my acne but because i choose to be!) and she's been in a relationship for past 5-6 years(sorry i forgot exactly).

the guy is so genuine and loving.

and not to make anyone feel better,but its a fact that they started dating while she had moderate acne(to severe sometimes; she has mild pcos).

she still has mild acne (clogged pores and gets tiny zits sometimes)



#8 ibiza1987

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 10:48 AM

Aww hon, I could just hug you right now! I felt like I was reading something I wrote. I know exactly how it feels to feel like the ugly duckling. I am the ugly sister, the ugly duckling that stands next to my sister and makes her look even prettier. She gets all the boys, all of the attention, and all of the compliments when we're out together. My heart breaks a little more inside every time a boy looks right passed me, right through me, and stares and drools over my sister. It hurts. I feel like my life is worthless, like I am worthless, and I will never be happy or live a fulfilling life, all because I have repulsive skin.

 

I know my words probably won't make you feel any better, but you are beautiful, and you are worth it. Please try to believe it. There will always be stupid, ignorant, shallow people, but please don't let them make you feel worthless. I really hope you will start to be happy. All the best to you.   

Hi, I have seen quite a few of your posts on here describing yourself as ugly, had a look at your pictures and was very surprised that someone as lovely looking as you puts herself down so much! I saw the picture of you and your sis too - you are both very pretty girls, I don't see how you could think of yourself as the ugly duckling - why? You look different to one another, yes - but I would say you are equally attractive. Oh, and your skin is NOT repulsive, I think it's looking really good.



I had come to a point where I accepted my acne as a part of me that was never going to go away. I'd look at myself in the mirror, shrug, and move along. Nothing new. Just the usual ugly acne and scars.

I had come to think of myself as a zero. Zeros are used as place holders. They're useless, and valueless; much like myself. I'm a place holder for my pretty friends. I make them look better just by standing next to me. In fact, I had become okay with that.

 

Today, I was wearing my fancy Sephora make up at work today. I've been working this job for almost two years and I had never had someone bring up my acne; except for one of my supervisors who used my acne as a means of making me quit. That was almost a year ago. A customer came in, I rang her up and as she was leaving she looked at me and said "Not to be mean or anything....." oh. hell. no. I snapped my head towards the back room so fast, I could've died. I had just gotten transfered to this store a week ago so I wasn't familiar with the staff and I didn't want my new coworker to hear this conversation. She started talking about the benefits of Vinegar for acne (been there, done that). I just zoned out and tried not to cry.

Now I'm home and I'm sobbing. Working is the only thing that makes me feel worthy of life. Its the  one thing that keeps me from being a hermit in my room. Now I'm here crying because I'm not worthy of my job with pretty girls. I'M THE UGLY DUCKLING. Except this duckling doesn't get a happy ending.

Sorry to hear this, I know how you feel. It sucks to have acne especially when everyone else around you seems to have no problem with their skin. Your profile picture looks stunning - you have beautiful hair, colouring and smile, don't listen to awful people who put you down.



#9 aanabill

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 12:45 PM

Aww hon, I could just hug you right now! I felt like I was reading something I wrote. I know exactly how it feels to feel like the ugly duckling. I am the ugly sister, the ugly duckling that stands next to my sister and makes her look even prettier. She gets all the boys, all of the attention, and all of the compliments when we're out together. My heart breaks a little more inside every time a boy looks right passed me, right through me, and stares and drools over my sister. It hurts. I feel like my life is worthless, like I am worthless, and I will never be happy or live a fulfilling life, all because I have repulsive skin.

 

I know my words probably won't make you feel any better, but you are beautiful, and you are worth it. Please try to believe it. There will always be stupid, ignorant, shallow people, but please don't let them make you feel worthless. I really hope you will start to be happy. All the best to you.   

wait a minutes,i read the post above and checked ur gallery.

are u kidding us darling?

u dnt even have acne!

u neednt worry about those pores which are almost non-existant actually!

not to be rude or anything,but hun u need to change that attitude.

u r young and if u were my younger sister i;d probably scold u and bring u back to reality.

u r very pretty.

that attitude and lack of confidence is not helping ur skin or mind.

 

good luck.

and get over it!



#10 jessikur55

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 02:45 PM

Have you tried accutane for your acne?


I've begged doctors for it. I've cried in front of them begging them to give me accutane but they always say no.

honey,which moron on earth told u u're ugly??!
u r not.
and there's no need to cry darling.
1stly,i would like to know what have u tried for ur acne.
 
and then i am coming back to ur emotions.
we all know what u r going through,and yes,it is depressing at times.
but ask urself, are u just what ur skin is?
is there nothing more in u beyond ur skin?
did u get an answer.
 
 
p.s if thats u in the picture.
i am jealous.(i dnt the perfect teeth set.i have a small gap between my front upper teeth.i always have wanted a smile like that)
i am a lil' conscious about my smile.
=D


A smile isn't anything when you have acne surrounding it. I forgot to add my signature, so this post should have what I've tried before.

#11 Frank*L

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 03:21 PM

 Working is the only thing that makes me feel worthy of life. Its the  one thing that keeps me from being a hermit in my room. 

 

That really hit home for me. If it wasn't for work I'd lose my mind in my apartment. 

 

I saw you tried Murad before that stuff sucks! That one thing totally f*cked up my face beyond belief. I even stuck with it for like 6 weeks even when it was breaking me out hardcore, stupid me. I think the majority of my scars were caused by that sh*t after making my face go from bad to worse.

 

and for what its worth I'm a dude and I think you're attractive. dat smile! I'd probably get all nervous if you looked my way and smiled.



#12 jessikur55

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 03:33 PM

 Working is the only thing that makes me feel worthy of life. Its the  one thing that keeps me from being a hermit in my room. 

 

That really hit home for me. If it wasn't for work I'd lose my mind in my apartment. 

 

I saw you tried Murad before that stuff sucks! That one thing totally f*cked up my face beyond belief. I even stuck with it for like 6 weeks even when it was breaking me out hardcore, stupid me. I think the majority of my scars were caused by that sh*t after making my face go from bad to worse.

 

and for what its worth I'm a dude and I think you're attractive. dat smile! I'd probably get all nervous if you looked my way and smiled.

I kinda wanna quit my job now because I'm so embarrased :(

Every day that I was on Murad, I cried. IT WAS AWFUL. I hated every single day after using murad. I think the only thing I miss about it though, is the cleanser. It was minty. Other than that, it was hell on my face. Luckily, my face has gotten better since then, but it still ruined my high school graduation pictures which I refuse to look at.

I wish there were more guys like you that liked my smile and ignored my face. Unfortunately, there aren't.



#13 aanabill

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 12:16 AM

trust me u wouldnt like to quit the job!



#14 Binga

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 01:53 AM

Change your doctor. Go out of state if required to get accutane. 



#15 Frank*L

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 12:55 PM

 

 

 

 

I kinda wanna quit my job now because I'm so embarrased sad.png

 

no don't do that. the last thing you want to do is to be dependent on others for your own well being. you need money trust me. 

 

I totally understand not wanting to face your co workers/customers due to shame and embarrassment. I'm 31 and I've been struggling with that feeling since I was 18 when I got my first job. I know its hard but you have to provide for yourself some how. Locking yourself in your room in your parents house ( I assume you live at home if not I'm sorry) is not the answer. You just have to tough it out and be strong.

 

coworkers have always commented on my shitty complexion and have many times due to their blatantly rude comments have driven me to the verge of suicide. as a matter of fact currently I am not in the best state of mind either but every morning I go to work and do what I got to do to provide for myself. It is a giant burden I know but it is something you must do! 

 

look reality is your acne may or might not go away anytime soon. you don't know for sure. the only thing you can do is continue to treat it and be aware of the problem and try to fix it. until you are satisfied you just have to be optimistic and not dwell in your own negativity no matter how others treat you.

 

sure its easier said than done, I'm still trying to figure out how to do that myself. maybe one day we will figure it out and if you figure it out before I do please let me know. i want to know how to be happy.

 

difference between you and me is that you are actually attractive underneath it all. you have good facial aesthetics. reality is you can never be everything to everyone. I dont think there is a single person alive that is 100% universally attractive to everyone. For example sitting around with a bunch of dudes bullshitting watching tv and there can be a obviously beautiful celeb on tv and one guy will say shes hot and ther other will say how she isn't their type.

 

you implied guys i guess ignore you beacuse of your skin or whatever well guys are full of shit and are idiots, trust me I'm a guy. 

 

anyways much love and keep posting on here if you feel compelled. and again dont quit your job! totally stupid move if you do!



#16 Ribbonettes

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 09:04 PM

I kinda wanna quit my job now because I'm so embarrased sad.png

 

I wish there were more guys like you that liked my smile and ignored my face. Unfortunately, there aren't.

I know how you feel.  I have to work with people all day and it sucks when I have a bad breakout and the clients have to look at my face >__<

 

but having a job is better than nothing at all.  We are facing the worst economic situation here in American.. People are dying & starving.. and it's only going to get worst.  I use to think I wasn't worthy of any job at all.. That maybe I should just clean toilets so people wouldn't have to look at my face. 

 

But that's not the answer either.  It's not good for ur skin to be breathing/exposed to all those cleaning chemicals.  If people are commenting on your acne than that is soooooo wrong of them.  Some things you just can't help. 

 

And about the guys.  I am single because I choose to.  I've had a lot of fucktards try and ask me out, some of them actually look handsome.. but they're just down right stupid.  If I learned anything from dating it's I don't need a guy in my life!!! Most Guys are too clingy and a waste of time.  I can't stand it. So happy to be alone.  Now I don't have to worry about impressing anyone.



#17 Vanessa2002

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 02:00 AM

Don't give up on finding a doctor who will give you accutane. Derms can have very different opinions on that topic. It was the same for me. My old derm refused to give me accutane, so I made an appointment with another and she agreed to it right away. And I am taking it for oily skin, my acne really isn't severe.

Also, when you ask the derm for it, try to be composed and argue why you think it is right for you. Since you have already tried a lot for your skin and it didn't work, you have proof enough that you should take it.

The only thing I tried for my skin before was apple cider vinegar and a fruit acid peeling, and the derm still gave me accutane.



#18 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 07:13 PM

Aww hon, I could just hug you right now! I felt like I was reading something I wrote. I know exactly how it feels to feel like the ugly duckling. I am the ugly sister, the ugly duckling that stands next to my sister and makes her look even prettier. She gets all the boys, all of the attention, and all of the compliments when we're out together. My heart breaks a little more inside every time a boy looks right passed me, right through me, and stares and drools over my sister. It hurts. I feel like my life is worthless, like I am worthless, and I will never be happy or live a fulfilling life, all because I have repulsive skin.

 

I know my words probably won't make you feel any better, but you are beautiful, and you are worth it. Please try to believe it. There will always be stupid, ignorant, shallow people, but please don't let them make you feel worthless. I really hope you will start to be happy. All the best to you.   

Hi, I have seen quite a few of your posts on here describing yourself as ugly, had a look at your pictures and was very surprised that someone as lovely looking as you puts herself down so much! I saw the picture of you and your sis too - you are both very pretty girls, I don't see how you could think of yourself as the ugly duckling - why? You look different to one another, yes - but I would say you are equally attractive. Oh, and your skin is NOT repulsive, I think it's looking really good.



>I had come to a point where I accepted my acne as a part of me that was never going to go away. I'd look at myself in the mirror, shrug, and move along. Nothing new. Just the usual ugly acne and scars.

I had come to think of myself as a zero. Zeros are used as place holders. They're useless, and valueless; much like myself. I'm a place holder for my pretty friends. I make them look better just by standing next to me. In fact, I had become okay with that.

 

Today, I was wearing my fancy Sephora make up at work today. I've been working this job for almost two years and I had never had someone bring up my acne; except for one of my supervisors who used my acne as a means of making me quit. That was almost a year ago. A customer came in, I rang her up and as she was leaving she looked at me and said "Not to be mean or anything....." oh. hell. no. I snapped my head towards the back room so fast, I could've died. I had just gotten transfered to this store a week ago so I wasn't familiar with the staff and I didn't want my new coworker to hear this conversation. She started talking about the benefits of Vinegar for acne (been there, done that). I just zoned out and tried not to cry.

Now I'm home and I'm sobbing. Working is the only thing that makes me feel worthy of life. Its the  one thing that keeps me from being a hermit in my room. Now I'm here crying because I'm not worthy of my job with pretty girls. I'M THE UGLY DUCKLING. Except this duckling doesn't get a happy ending.

Sorry to hear this, I know how you feel. It sucks to have acne especially when everyone else around you seems to have no problem with their skin. Your profile picture looks stunning - you have beautiful hair, colouring and smile, don't listen to awful people who put you down.

 

Thank you!! I know, I really need to stop putting myself down. It's just I've had so much reinforcement to make me feel so ugly. When my acne was really bad, one of my sister's and my mutual friend rated us right to our faces. He said that I was okay looking, like a 7, and that she was really really pretty, like a 9 or 10! And my sister didn't even defend me. Whenever I'm feeling down on myself I think of the many experiences I've had like this and I feel even worse.



Aww hon, I could just hug you right now! I felt like I was reading something I wrote. I know exactly how it feels to feel like the ugly duckling. I am the ugly sister, the ugly duckling that stands next to my sister and makes her look even prettier. She gets all the boys, all of the attention, and all of the compliments when we're out together. My heart breaks a little more inside every time a boy looks right passed me, right through me, and stares and drools over my sister. It hurts. I feel like my life is worthless, like I am worthless, and I will never be happy or live a fulfilling life, all because I have repulsive skin.

 

I know my words probably won't make you feel any better, but you are beautiful, and you are worth it. Please try to believe it. There will always be stupid, ignorant, shallow people, but please don't let them make you feel worthless. I really hope you will start to be happy. All the best to you.   

wait a minutes,i read the post above and checked ur gallery.

are u kidding us darling?

u dnt even have acne!

u neednt worry about those pores which are almost non-existant actually!

not to be rude or anything,but hun u need to change that attitude.

u r young and if u were my younger sister i;d probably scold u and bring u back to reality.

u r very pretty.

that attitude and lack of confidence is not helping ur skin or mind.

 

good luck.

and get over it!

Haha, thank you! I actually really like your honesty. I really do need to change my attitude.



#19 jessikur55

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 09:05 PM

Don't give up on finding a doctor who will give you accutane. Derms can have very different opinions on that topic. It was the same for me. My old derm refused to give me accutane, so I made an appointment with another and she agreed to it right away. And I am taking it for oily skin, my acne really isn't severe.

Also, when you ask the derm for it, try to be composed and argue why you think it is right for you. Since you have already tried a lot for your skin and it didn't work, you have proof enough that you should take it.

Its so difficult to find a doctor. Way back when I refused to take accutane, a doctor offered it to me. Unfortunately for me, he's in Mexico and I'm in California and can't afford to fly out there just for my crusty face.

My derm here looked at me and said yes. I was so excited. The next time I saw him, he denied ever saying yes and put me back on antibiotics and Retina-A. I cried so hard when I got home :(

I also don't gave a great health insurance, so not many doctors are willing to take it. No one in 25 miles is willing to take it. So yeah its difficult.



#20 lewi

lewi

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 02:36 AM

Well I think you are just stunning, gorgeous smile.png
It sucks to see such a pretty girl upset about her appearance... but i hope you are able to access effective treatments for your own emotional sake. 


Edited by lewi, 20 June 2013 - 02:48 AM.