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#41 mrnegative

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 11:07 AM

 

"There is no single disease which causes more psychic trauma, more maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feelings of inferiority and greater sums of psychic suffering than does acne vulgaris."  --Sulzberger & Zaldems"

i have nothing to say on this!

i will ignore the fact that some said this and others believed.

Billions of people get acne when they are young. Their is no way of adding up all the all the psychic trauma but can you name a skin disease that's common enough to have a higher sum of maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feeling of inferiority and greater sums of psychic suffering than does acne vulgaris? It's a quote from medscape introducing a study showing acne's impact on quality of life.

 

>its moderate now,doesnt mean it was never serious.

and it doesnt mean we dnt get what people are going through.we wouldnt be here answering emotional posts asking them to look through it if we were not interested.

some just think they are the only one who get logic and emotions!!

 

i see posts weighing acne and  cancer!

and then some accuse us of being insensitive for we dnt get how painful acne is.

 

It seems some people with severe acne believe other people don't truly understand what it's like. It also seems people who enjoy giving happy posts believe they do understand the pain and that some severe acne sufferer's don't understand the benefit of thinking positively. I'm sure they're both right depending on the persons involved. The hard part is convincing the people that are wrong why they are wrong when the person is irrational and emotionally driven.

 

some say oh i dint treat acne initially and now i have scars i will have to live with all my life.

similarly,just being negative all the time will leave ur scars all ur life - why?because work,life,personal relations are all effected.so why not treat?here or otherwise.

for me,if i see a post that needs us(sad posts not those who complain girls are low and only choose hot men),i try to motivate(some days i expect the same from people) but if its beyond repair by us,then help should be seeked.

I said that in order to argue that obsessing about acne isn't necessarily bad. I wasn't trying to be negative. I give sad arguments sometimes in order to have evidence that supports my conclusions. Is it somehow wrong to argue using sad stories? Does that make me a negative person?

 

Ellie, thanks. That's a balanced response. Maybe my topic was a bit provocative and it seemed like I was indeed "complaining" or blasting users for doing what they're doing. I was certainly showcasing my dislike for some of the more banal, depressing topics in this section, but I never meant to criticize or demean anyone's input. It was mainly an opinion topic, which is why I asked for feedback. What I didn't ask for (some users didn't really get this) is pathetic personal attacks stemming from insecurity. Ah, but we're well past that now, aren't we? smile.png

"is a pathetic personal attack stemming form insecurity" Try to be a little nicer. Is it really necessary to start calling the suspicious depressed people that argue against you insecure, especially since you're suppose to be bringing positivity? Sadly, some of your replies our pathetic insulting attacks.

 

 

I was quite nice, but it isn't really like me to let a personal attack go without a little nibble. I've had my joy - I'm over it now :) Call me immature if you'd like, I'm sure others take more kindly to ad-hominem remarks. 



#42 aanabill

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 01:04 PM

Billions of people get acne when they are young. Their is no way of adding up all the all the psychic trauma but can you name a skin disease that's common enough to have a higher sum of maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feeling of inferiority and greater sums of psychic suffering than does acne vulgaris? It's a quote from medscape introducing a study showing acne's impact on quality of life.

for me its not just about skin disorders.

but since u seem only interested in skin diseases,i think any skin disease can be equally failing and depressing.

those with eczema or rosacea or even those with severe dry skin go through depressions.

i have less idea about why just acne that would isolate someone.

my guess - its primarily starts in teen age and its a vulnerable age.

but that is applicable for any disease or condition that is teenage trait!

 

There is no single disease which causes more psychic trauma,

 

u really believe that?

really?

no other disease?

 

its said,doesnt mean its true!

 

 

It seems some people with severe acne believe other people don't truly understand what it's like. It also seems people who enjoy giving happy posts believe they do understand the pain and that some severe acne sufferer's don't understand the benefit of thinking positively. I'm sure they're both right depending on the persons involved. The hard part is convincing the people that are wrong why they are wrong when the person is irrational and emotionally driven.

 

 

I WILL NOT DIRECTLY ANSWER UR QUESTION BUT I WANNA STATE two THING :

 

 

one,sadness n depression has done me no good.

i was depressed for the longest time for both my skin and personal & professional reasons.

i wish i could explain how broken i was and how painful those days were.

i has isolated myself from everyone.

i was at home all day everyday and i remember not using a phone for over one year.

that for me was good and i thought then ,its comfort.

but the more i broke and gave in the more vulnerable i became.

the fact that i couldnt see light and hope made me weaker.

i know it sounds all very poetic and everything.

but then,its really painful to submit urself without even realising its almost like a trap.

unless u sit up and fight back,u can never come out of it.

the issues that had caught me in then,they still remain.

the intensity comes up and goes down now and then and i do have weak moments but u see i know that i need to see light in dark times too!

 

 

two,i have joined this site after i was almost over the 'severe' phase both in terms of skin and life.

i wish i had someone who would tell me look up and show me reasons to get up.

explain that i am going nowhere with that attitude.

it would have taken less days to realise.

may be i could have suffered a lil' less.

 

 

i am really sorry that i rambled so much about something that is kinda off topic.

but i will make myself clear now.

that is doesnt matter how fake people thing i am(i am sure some do) and doesnt matter if they think i am grabbing attention(heaven knows what they believe i will get in return!) i will do whatever it takes to give explain someone who's sad that depression AND endless frustration will not do her/him any good.not health wise,not mentally or for the skin.

if he/she thinks i can help,i will stick on.

i will explain every aspect i know of and keep showing logic why they should ignore anything that is pulling them back and to move on.

 

because doing that makes me feel good.

so i will do that for myself.

i wont stop.

I said that in order to argue that obsessing about acne isn't necessarily bad. I wasn't trying to be negative. I give sad arguments sometimes in order to have evidence that supports my conclusions. Is it somehow wrong to argue using sad stories? Does that make me a negative person?

i am not sure if thats how i should define a negative person.

but do u think just for the sake argument,if u say obesessing about acne isnt bad - is it right?

u tell me.



#43 Frank*L

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 03:13 PM

hey I'm sorry. I meant no disrespect.

 

much love



#44 Cyberpile

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 04:06 PM

There is no single disease which causes more psychic trauma,

 

u really believe that?

really?

no other disease?

 

its said,doesnt mean its true!

like i said, billions of people have had acne when they were young. That part of the quote that might not be true. I'm sure growing up with leprosy across my face would cause me more psychic trauma, but it's referring to the sum of all the psychic trauma from acne. This is counting all the people that have suffered greatly from acne and scarring for years and even the teenagers that were embarrassed about having one pimple.

 

I said that in order to argue that obsessing about acne isn't necessarily bad. I wasn't trying to be negative. I give sad arguments sometimes in order to have evidence that supports my conclusions. Is it somehow wrong to argue using sad stories? Does that make me a negative person?

i am not sure if thats how i should define a negative person.

but do u think just for the sake argument,if u say obesessing about acne isnt bad - is it right?

u tell me.

It depends on what you mean by right. If RIGHT means to do things that increase overall happiness and decrease suffering then actively searching for a treatment may be the right thing to do. It is possible that a person might have a more pleasurable life, if their face isn't covered with severe scarring for the rest of their life. So, obsessing over acne is just a means to an end for some people and it can be interpreted as the right thing to do.


Edited by Sisyphus, 05 July 2013 - 07:39 PM.


#45 aanabill

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 12:27 AM

hey I'm sorry. I meant no disrespect.

 

much love

if that was for me,pls dont be sorry.

i know u dint.

but i think some do.

and honestly its been a while here and now it doesn effect me as much.

 

*hugs*



#46 elliew8

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 02:29 AM

 

 

My idea was to spread positive vibes and to show people that acne won't disable you from being a success in any department of life if you want it enough and showcase enough of your other good qualities. Chill, man. 

 

The thing is, some people can't do that. For some people, acne IS disabling in those ways. Plenty of people have depression and other chemical imbalances that make those things difficult anyway, let alone with severe acne which causes ongoing physical and mental pain on a daily basis. I'm only saying this from my perspective as someone who suffered with that for a long time: for me, hearing the whole "mind over matter, be positive, you can still choose to be happy" stuff made me feel worse. It made me feel like I was failing on being mentally strong on TOP of failing in health and beauty, you know? I'm not saying this is what you're saying and I do get the point you're trying to make, but honestly I was unable to change my perspective and get happy with acne. It took me getting better from it to begin climbing out of the hole of depression that I was in and I still suffer with depression over other things.

 

I'm not sure how to exactly articulate the point I'm trying to make and I'm not criticizing you or anything. We've had very similar discussions in here before and I just basically feel that this should be a place where people can be as depressed as they need to be without worrying about coming off too negative or anything like that. I don't think it's true that anyone can find success and happiness while having severe acne (or other limiting health conditions). Many people kill themselves over these things. Depression is a serious disease and acne can most definitely feed into that. It's not always under the person's control how negative they are being. We should just be 100 percent supportive here and nothing else. Just my opinion. I'm  tired and rambling. smile.png

 

>> 

My idea was to spread positive vibes and to show people that acne won't disable you from being a success in any department of life if you want it enough and showcase enough of your other good qualities. Chill, man. 

 

The thing is, some people can't do that. For some people, acne IS disabling in those ways. Plenty of people have depression and other chemical imbalances that make those things difficult anyway, let alone with severe acne which causes ongoing physical and mental pain on a daily basis. I'm only saying this from my perspective as someone who suffered with that for a long time: for me, hearing the whole "mind over matter, be positive, you can still choose to be happy" stuff made me feel worse. It made me feel like I was failing on being mentally strong on TOP of failing in health and beauty, you know? I'm not saying this is what you're saying and I do get the point you're trying to make, but honestly I was unable to change my perspective and get happy with acne. It took me getting better from it to begin climbing out of the hole of depression that I was in and I still suffer with depression over other things.

 

I'm not sure how to exactly articulate the point I'm trying to make and I'm not criticizing you or anything. We've had very similar discussions in here before and I just basically feel that this should be a place where people can be as depressed as they need to be without worrying about coming off too negative or anything like that. I don't think it's true that anyone can find success and happiness while having severe acne (or other limiting health conditions). Many people kill themselves over these things. Depression is a serious disease and acne can most definitely feed into that. It's not always under the person's control how negative they are being. We should just be 100 percent supportive here and nothing else. Just my opinion. I'm  tired and rambling. smile.png

 

Yeah, exactly man, that's the way I figured out. If you play positive and a good guy, others will notice that you actually faking and will thing of you as #cringeworthy. Been there, done that. You have to find yourself and you have to be what you are. I figured out that what makes me really happy is doing what I like. But that doesn't need to be an obstacle. 

 

 

I see the merits of your post, but I do take a bit of an issue with the phrasing "play positive and a good guy." I'm not really attempting to "play" anything. I don't see this as some sort of stage. I -am- being what I am and doing what makes me happy by trying to view things in a less depressing way. I'm working on changing the view that I had for months in regards to acne. It's sad that I'm realizing now how useless and wasteful feeling down really is. Yes, there were times when I couldn't help it - but that's when you usually know it's time for help from others (and not just users on this site). If a user is happy being consistently negative and posting things that hint at their hatred for life, then have at it. For some reason though, I find that rather hard to believe. 

 

Just though I'd weigh in here...doesn't it make sense to let people be negative or positive whenever they feel like it? Fair enough sometimes it's a bit depressing to read but equally it's reassuring too because others are going through the same stuff.

 

I think if it seems overwhelmingly negative maybe just don't click on those posts and start a few positive threads. Same goes for when negative threads get some positive advice - if we are feeling like we need to just wallow/ vent without the pep talk then don't reply to the poster.

 

It's no good complaining about each other, some people are more optimistic and others more pessimistic, either way this is the section to deal with emotions so just accept the happy posts along with the depressing ones.

 

Ellie, thanks. That's a balanced response. Maybe my topic was a bit provocative and it seemed like I was indeed "complaining" or blasting users for doing what they're doing. I was certainly showcasing my dislike for some of the more banal, depressing topics in this section, but I never meant to criticize or demean anyone's input. It was mainly an opinion topic, which is why I asked for feedback. What I didn't ask for (some users didn't really get this) is pathetic personal attacks stemming from insecurity. Ah, but we're well past that now, aren't we? smile.png

 

Yeah I think it's just a sensitive issue which is why it's got so many people riled...I wouldn't take anything personally on this site, just take it with a pinch of salt - everyone is going through a lot of physical and emotional stuff so it's understandable that everyone is getting worked up I guess.

 

Oh and just to add to Sisyphus: no one here is denying the psychological impact of acne AT ALL and undoubtedly it's both widespread and deeply rooted. HOWEVER, to quote something that states acne is the biggest form of psychic trauma is just plain ignorant...I'm sorry to be harsh but if that's what you actually believe then you need a bit of a reality check. Acne is crap...but there are a lot more mentally debilitating diseases and conditions out there, it basically suggests you are comparing a disease like cancer to acne, which frankly is either stupid or naive.



#47 aanabill

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 02:40 AM

i keep saying acne is troublesome.it does play with ur physical and mental health.

but i dont think i can ever compare it with deadly diseases like cancer or anything else.

i know the rare extremely severe case is considered almost deadly but thats very rare.

as for terming it 'suicidal' and 'depressing' - its just like how a break up or some other condition makes one suicidal.

there are other meds too which has severe side effects(not just accutane).

 

but u see at the end of the day,these can be addressed.its s separate story that hardly anyone visits a psych consult or a general counselor or a mind therapist for acne.

one option is seeking help from people around u who can motivate u or/and somehow bring u out of it.

for that things that need to be done are - #sad and real thoughts be spoken out and #imbibing of positivity and responding to the any form of therapy.

 

so,when u say acne is  a disease thats utterly painful and cause lots of trouble.i agree with u.

but,

when u say acne is the most traumatic disease and is just as bad or even worse than other deadly diseases.

i disagree.

i have spoken in details about it in another post.

i could send u a link to that if u want.

 

It is possible that a person might have a more pleasurable life, if their face isn't covered with severe scarring for the rest of their life. So, obsessing over acne is just a means to an end for some people and it can be interpreted as the right thing to do.

for a large number of people,acne has negative effect.

while others are least effected.

my cousin had moderate to severe acne since her teenage days and it never effected her.

she's always the happy girl and actually started dating around the same age.

anyway,we will only talk about those who get effected.

 

yes,it is obvious that in most case 'face without acne' would help lead a more pleasurable life.

but the solution isnt obsessing about it.

i dint quite understand what u meant?

how can 'obsessing' be considered the right thing?

 

its not under our control in most cases.i go through it very often.

but that doesnt  make it the right thing to do!



#48 dejaclairevoyant

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 10:36 AM

What I think they were trying to say (and I agree with) is that for some people, acne can be as devastating as cancer. There were times I would have rather had cancer (and known that I would die soon and be put out of this misery versus having to choose between never ending suffering or suicide) than the severe acne that I had. I definitely thought about suicide often. You could say that I, and others, are "wrong" to feel that way because "it could be worse." But the experience of suffering is an individual thing based on that person's perspective.

 

There are people who are very mentally healthy and have learned to have a great perspective who are still quite happy and live life with joy while having terminal cancer. There are people with acne who suffer from depression who might be in an unbearable amount of mental pain. There are people who don't even have any physical health condition and are practically supermodel-perfect, yet have a mental disorder like severe depression or anxiety or an eating disorder, and they are suffering with a daily existence that amounts to pure torture. Telling someone like that it could be worse will not help them, because for them, the pain they are in is already at the maximum limit.

 

What is worse for one may be better for another. We cannot judge what another person feels. So if someone were to come in here and say that for them, having acne is worse than having cancer, it would be wrong to judge that: in their perspective, it may very well be true.



#49 mrnegative

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 01:13 PM

What I think they were trying to say (and I agree with) is that for some people, acne can be as devastating as cancer. There were times I would have rather had cancer (and known that I would die soon and be put out of this misery versus having to choose between never ending suffering or suicide) than the severe acne that I had. I definitely thought about suicide often. You could say that I, and others, are "wrong" to feel that way because "it could be worse." But the experience of suffering is an individual thing based on that person's perspective.

 

There are people who are very mentally healthy and have learned to have a great perspective who are still quite happy and live life with joy while having terminal cancer. There are people with acne who suffer from depression who might be in an unbearable amount of mental pain. There are people who don't even have any physical health condition and are practically supermodel-perfect, yet have a mental disorder like severe depression or anxiety or an eating disorder, and they are suffering with a daily existence that amounts to pure torture. Telling someone like that it could be worse will not help them, because for them, the pain they are in is already at the maximum limit.

 

What is worse for one may be better for another. We cannot judge what another person feels. So if someone were to come in here and say that for them, having acne is worse than having cancer, it would be wrong to judge that: in their perspective, it may very well be true.

 

This is simply shocking. That's about all there is to say. If your thoughts are spiraling down to the extent that you are wishing you had cancer instead of acne, then you are severely depressed and likely on the verge of institutionalization. This is not to say that there aren't cases like that, but it's utterly irrational, which is why professional help is provided for such feelings. 



#50 dejaclairevoyant

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 01:40 PM

You know what? I tried to be nice but you are judgmental. I'm done.



#51 Perseverance92

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 01:52 PM

When i have acne i can't think straight.I lose my mental faculties of reasoning and logic.And i know that  sucks.I love to come to this place and rant about my mis-adventures with acne.I cannot be a "Giggling piglet who emits positivity ".I am frustrated and so i crib here.There are some people here for whom i have a lot of respect and i am very fond of them! Their replies make my day and even though it's only 2 months for me here and it's a virtual friendship ,somehow it makes me smile!  And smiling and being happy is all that matters? right? isn't that why we come here?



#52 UnacceptedRealist

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Posted 21 June 2013 - 12:44 AM

mrnegative,

 

I know I've already shared my opinion, but I feel compelled to respond again. 

 

Why?

 

Let me explain:

 

You ended your first post---which was about there being too much negativity---by asking for our opinion; then, after reading various opinions, you responded by accusing those who shared of being delusional, irrational, insecure and having "inner issues."  You've insinuated that some responses were immature; you've called posts banal.  Yet, through all of that, you maintain that your goal is to bring more “positivity” to this forum.  Therefore, in my opinion, you’ve proven yourself to be the most irrational and most naïve poster I’ve ever encountered.  And---although it goes without saying---you’ve failed at bringing “positivity” to this forum.

 

Furthermore, I think you’ve demonstrated that you’re completely incapable of comprehending the nature of acne and its “psychological effects.”  Overgeneralization is one of the biggest mistakes someone can make about acne.  And you, my friend, are guilty of exactly this.  You seem feel that you ‘know’ what others are going through and, therefore, can judge whether someone’s personal feelings are “rational” or “irrational.”  This, I believe, is a clear demonstration of ignorance to the diverse nature of acne.  Acne comes in many forms (some quite severe) and its effects on those afflicted are even more varied.  Hence I strongly believe that, without being privy to personal details, it’s impossible to differentiate between what is “right” or “wrong” when it comes to personal feelings---even to the extreme of the cancer comparison.  Oh, and one last thing: look up the definition of "ad hominem." smile.png



#53 mrnegative

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Posted 21 June 2013 - 12:56 AM

mrnegative,

 

I know I've already shared my opinion, but I feel compelled to respond again. 

 

Why?

 

Let me explain:

 

You ended your first post---which was about there being too much negativity---by asking for our opinion; then, after reading various opinions, you responded by accusing those who shared of being delusional, irrational, insecure and having "inner issues."  You've insinuated that some responses were immature; you've called posts banal.  Yet, through all of that, you maintain that your goal is to bring more “positivity” to this forum.  Therefore, in my opinion, you’ve proven yourself to be the most irrational and most naïve poster I’ve ever encountered.  And---although it goes without saying---you’ve failed at bringing “positivity” to this forum.

 

Furthermore, I think you’ve demonstrated that you’re completely incapable of comprehending the nature of acne and its “psychological effects.”  Overgeneralization is one of the biggest mistakes someone can make about acne.  And you, my friend, are guilty of exactly this.  You seem feel that you ‘know’ what others are going through and, therefore, can judge whether someone’s personal feelings are “rational” or “irrational.”  This, I believe, is a clear demonstration of ignorance to the diverse nature of acne.  Acne comes in many forms (some quite severe) and its effects on those afflicted are even more varied.  Hence I strongly believe that, without being privy to personal details, it’s impossible to differentiate between what is “right” or “wrong” when it comes to personal feelings---even to the extreme of the cancer comparison.  Oh, and one last thing: look up the definition of "ad hominem." smile.png

 

After graduating from a top university and being accepted to a top law school, I'm quite unlikely to have to verify the definition of "ad hominem," kid. Now, on to the accusations. If I'm the most naive and negative poster you have encountered on this site, then it's only appropriate that I call you delusional. My intention was never to be accusatory, but only to be positive in the sense of bringing another perspective to an extremely depressing environment (of which I had previously become a part of). You have expressed your (extreme) struggles with acne in previous posts and I understand where you are coming from. However, you are in no position to claim that I have brought negativity to this forum by attempting to offer a different approach to all of our ailments. And yes, I do "know" what others are going through. Just because I don't post pictures of my acne doesn't mean I don't know what it means to struggle both physically and psychologically. I would honestly take you on in any argument you wish to bring forth. Please proceed. :) 



#54 darkheart

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Posted 21 June 2013 - 01:09 AM

Damn, well this topic blew up. Being positive has nothing to do with ignoring your acne. If you have acne, you should seek out treatment to minimize long-term damage to your skin. It's really as simple as that. The rest is psychological. If you wallow in negativity (something I'm prone to doing), you depress yourself and suck the energy out of your life. This is how acne can become debilitating. Also, Sisyphus, some movie stars DO have acne scars and many others are not very attractive in person sans make-up. Yes, there are actors and actresses with perfect skin, but there are also many that have skin issues just as serious (if not worse) than people on this site. snsdgirl14, I like our matching perspectives smile.png

 

 

From my understanding after reading and lurking this website for years, is a lot of the people here seem to be from The United States and unable to afford to see a dermatologist due to lack of funds or coverage. They try to treat their acne ineffectively with over the counter products and natural remedies versus prescription which results in failure and they then seem to lose all hope.There also seems to be a large number of people very afraid to go on or unable to afford Accutane as well, which only prolongs their suffering.



#55 elliew8

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Posted 21 June 2013 - 03:14 AM

Ok fair enough, I see where you're coming from dejaclairevoyant and UnacceptedRealist when it comes to comparing acne to cancer because I've been there myself, I know sometimes it just doesn't matter how much worse things could be, it feels completely irrelevent compared to the stuff we are going through personally. However, seeing people in wheelchairs or knowing people that are going through cancer has always made me feel guilty and selfish for feeling so depressed about my acne - for me it's a massive wake up call and makes me put my problems into perspective.

 

I do get that for some, acne can cause suicidal thoughts and using this site has helped so many people. Everyone is entitled to the way they feel - there is no right or wrong. I think being judgemental of others feelings is just frutile because no one can possibly understand completely what someone else is going through and I was wrong to say it was stupid/ naive. The reason I got so frustrated by the comment is because although I know that some would chose cancer over acne, I also can't see how people can condone that kind of rationale.

 

Most people would objectively say that wanting cancer over acne is irrational. I'm not saying their perspective is wrong at all, just that those emotions are not healthy. That's why I think a reality check is needed here: if I was suicidal/ wanting cancer over acne, I would personally go and get counselling, but if people were telling me my behaviour was perfectly ok then I probably wouldn't go and get the necessary professional help.



#56 UnacceptedRealist

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Posted 21 June 2013 - 04:25 PM

After graduating from a top university and being accepted to a top law school, I'm quite unlikely to have to verify the definition of "ad hominem," kid. Now, on to the accusations. If I'm the most naive and negative poster you have encountered on this site, then it's only appropriate that I call you delusional. My intention was never to be accusatory, but only to be positive in the sense of bringing another perspective to an extremely depressing environment (of which I had previously become a part of). You have expressed your (extreme) struggles with acne in previous posts and I understand where you are coming from. However, you are in no position to claim that I have brought negativity to this forum by attempting to offer a different approach to all of our ailments. And yes, I do "know" what others are going through. Just because I don't post pictures of my acne doesn't mean I don't know what it means to struggle both physically and psychologically. I would honestly take you on in any argument you wish to bring forth. Please proceed. smile.png

 

Well, I have to say, I'm impressed.  I didn't think you could top the asininity of your previous posts, but you've manage to do just that.

 

With that said, however, I suppose I will humor you with a response.  Let's start here:

 

 However, you are in no position to claim that I have brought negativity to this forum by attempting to offer a different approach to all of our ailments.

 

Based on your behavior, I'm assuming this "approach" involves name-calling and an, overall, argumentative posting style, right?

 

And you call me delusional...

 

Now, on to this:

 

And yes, I do "know" what others are going through. Just because I don't post pictures of my acne doesn't mean I don't know what it means to struggle both physically and psychologically. I would honestly take you on in any argument you wish to bring forth. Please proceed. smile.png

 

This, right here, is what I take the most issue with.  I understand that you had (have?) acne and that you've endured the effects---both physically and psychologically.  However, I strongly believe that personal experience does not serve as a valid reason to claim that you "know" what others are going through.  Do you, honestly, not understand this?

 

Acne is far too varied for any form of generalization.  Period. 

 

Therefore, to discredit other people's feelings based on your own experience is, in my opinion, a clear demonstration of either ignorance or stupidity.


Edited by UnacceptedRealist, 21 June 2013 - 04:29 PM.


#57 mrnegative

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Posted 21 June 2013 - 04:42 PM

After graduating from a top university and being accepted to a top law school, I'm quite unlikely to have to verify the definition of "ad hominem," kid. Now, on to the accusations. If I'm the most naive and negative poster you have encountered on this site, then it's only appropriate that I call you delusional. My intention was never to be accusatory, but only to be positive in the sense of bringing another perspective to an extremely depressing environment (of which I had previously become a part of). You have expressed your (extreme) struggles with acne in previous posts and I understand where you are coming from. However, you are in no position to claim that I have brought negativity to this forum by attempting to offer a different approach to all of our ailments. And yes, I do "know" what others are going through. Just because I don't post pictures of my acne doesn't mean I don't know what it means to struggle both physically and psychologically. I would honestly take you on in any argument you wish to bring forth. Please proceed. smile.png

 

Well, I have to say, I'm impressed.  I didn't think you could top the asininity of your previous posts, but you've manage to do just that.

 

With that said, however, I suppose I will humor you with a response.  Let's start here:

 

> However, you are in no position to claim that I have brought negativity to this forum by attempting to offer a different approach to all of our ailments.

 

Based on your behavior, I'm assuming this "approach" involves name-calling and an, overall, argumentative posting style, right?

 

And you call me delusional...

 

Now, on to this:

 

And yes, I do "know" what others are going through. Just because I don't post pictures of my acne doesn't mean I don't know what it means to struggle both physically and psychologically. I would honestly take you on in any argument you wish to bring forth. Please proceed. smile.png

 

This, right here, is what I take the most issue with.  I understand that you had (have?) acne and that you've endured the effects---both physically and psychologically.  However, I strongly believe that personal experience does not serve as a valid reason to claim that you "know" what others are going through.  Do you, honestly, not understand this?

 

Acne is far too varied for any form of generalization.  Period. 

 

Therefore, to discredit other people's feelings based on your own experience is, in my opinion, a clear demonstration of either ignorance or stupidity.

 

 

Well, at least your posts amuse me to some extent. I don't really wish to involve myself in any sort of childish name calling (especially with a poster who seems to be fully dedicated to pessimism), so I'll stick to a strictly professional response. I don't want to continue this conversation with you, because it's just not worth it. I don't mean this in an offensive way. I just think we have very different perspectives and we'll never reach any sort of common ground. So, if I am understanding your post correctly, are you implying that you subscribe to a philosophy that rules out any sort of mutual understanding, simply because all people are different (a common cliché, but a fact nonetheless)? Since acne varies to a tremendous extent physically and its psychological effects manifest themselves in an infinite number of ways, then literally NO one on the face of this earth can even begin to understand what another is going through. Is...this what you're attempting to convey? If it is, refer to my statement above - we'll simply never agree. Take care, man. 



#58 aanabill

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Posted 22 June 2013 - 07:28 AM

When i have acne i can't think straight.I lose my mental faculties of reasoning and logic.And i know that  sucks.I love to come to this place and rant about my mis-adventures with acne.I cannot be a "Giggling piglet who emits positivity ".I am frustrated and so i crib here.There are some people here for whom i have a lot of respect and i am very fond of them! Their replies make my day and even though it's only 2 months for me here and it's a virtual friendship ,somehow it makes me smile!  And smiling and being happy is all that matters? right? isn't that why we come here?

its because u take in the positive way and look up.

i will repeat myself once more : being upset and speaking of being upset is not wrong.here or otherwise.

but to be 'so negative' that u dnt take in hope and never look up is not crime but it just means u need 'help'.

could be in any form.

to put it in a good way,u r too depressed for a post to help u.

n i dnt mean it in any bad way.

 

 

ALSO,i dnt think i am judgemental.

and i am not sorry for saying that 'acne is trivial IN COMPARISON cancer'.



#59 mrnegative

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Posted 22 June 2013 - 08:03 AM

aanabill,

 

apparently suggesting that posters who compare the effects of acne to those of cancer are likely in need of professional help (not an acne forum) is being judgmental. I can't really fathom how this is so, but that is what a lot of the "nay-sayers" are claiming. If someone who holds this opinion is willing to explain how stating the obvious is being judgmental, I'll be anxious to read a convincing response. 



#60 aanabill

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Posted 22 June 2013 - 08:46 AM

aanabill,

 

apparently suggesting that posters who compare the effects of acne to those of cancer are likely in need of professional help (not an acne forum) is being judgmental. I can't really fathom how this is so, but that is what a lot of the "nay-sayers" are claiming. If someone who holds this opinion is willing to explain how stating the obvious is being judgmental, I'll be anxious to read a convincing response. 

i can say why it isnt.i think i will defend statement here.

because when i read about someone being so depressed,i feel bad.

i am not irritated(unless he/she is cursing or being too rude OR claiming facts that are vulgar and cheap - being sad is no excuse for being cheap and low) and i wanna help.

we all wanna help.

but even after several posts that person is least effected then i am concerned and according to the Little sense i have i think he/she needs help.

 

i dnt know how asking one to seek help(in anyway) is bad.

its mostly because we wanna help but we cant after all we aint professionals.



Most people would objectively say that wanting cancer over acne is irrational. I'm not saying their perspective is wrong at all, just that those emotions are not healthy. That's why I think a reality check is needed here: if I was suicidal/ wanting cancer over acne, I would personally go and get counselling, but if people were telling me my behaviour was perfectly ok then I probably wouldn't go and get the necessary professional help.

 

this.

exactly this.



After graduating from a top university and being accepted to a top law school, I'm quite unlikely to have to verify the definition of "ad hominem," kid. Now, on to the accusations. If I'm the most naive and negative poster you have encountered on this site, then it's only appropriate that I call you delusional. My intention was never to be accusatory, but only to be positive in the sense of bringing another perspective to an extremely depressing environment (of which I had previously become a part of). You have expressed your (extreme) struggles with acne in previous posts and I understand where you are coming from. However, you are in no position to claim that I have brought negativity to this forum by attempting to offer a different approach to all of our ailments. And yes, I do "know" what others are going through. Just because I don't post pictures of my acne doesn't mean I don't know what it means to struggle both physically and psychologically. I would honestly take you on in any argument you wish to bring forth. Please proceed. smile.png

 

Well, I have to say, I'm impressed.  I didn't think you could top the asininity of your previous posts, but you've manage to do just that.

 

With that said, however, I suppose I will humor you with a response.  Let's start here:

 

> However, you are in no position to claim that I have brought negativity to this forum by attempting to offer a different approach to all of our ailments.

 

Based on your behavior, I'm assuming this "approach" involves name-calling and an, overall, argumentative posting style, right?

 

And you call me delusional...

 

Now, on to this:

 

And yes, I do "know" what others are going through. Just because I don't post pictures of my acne doesn't mean I don't know what it means to struggle both physically and psychologically. I would honestly take you on in any argument you wish to bring forth. Please proceed. smile.png

 

This, right here, is what I take the most issue with.  I understand that you had (have?) acne and that you've endured the effects---both physically and psychologically.  However, I strongly believe that personal experience does not serve as a valid reason to claim that you "know" what others are going through.  Do you, honestly, not understand this?

 

Acne is far too varied for any form of generalization.  Period. 

 

Therefore, to discredit other people's feelings based on your own experience is, in my opinion, a clear demonstration of either ignorance or stupidity.

 

STATEMENT ONE: its people who suffer or have suffered from acne who understand the basic psychological effect.The degree of effects and emotions varies because people are varied in their mental set up.

 

 

STATEMENT TWO - to ask one who needs support and help primarily because they should be able to come out of the 'dark zone' as soon as possible for their own mental/physical health and moving on in life is not being judgemental.

its mostly because someone is trying to help out of concern.

 

saying 'cancer over acne choice' is 'wrong' isn't judgemental either.

one may not see it as the worse scenario,but her/his thinking so doesnt make it right.

so may be we are trying to tell him/her that she needs to re-think(by either stating personal logic or anecdotes or whatever).

 

STATEMENT THREE - saying i am in this too or i understand you,doesnt mean u're the only one who cares.

people are varied like u said.

people have various ways of trying to help.