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Overwhelming Negativity In This Section

negative positive progress bad feeling good stop please help advice

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#21 mrnegative

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 11:27 PM

i would suggest u try to take things a lil; more positively my frnd.

will sad stuff make u happy?

and happy stuff make u sad.

since there's no third way,i'd say try a new angle.

 Do you enjoy sad movies and books? Yes, sad stuff does make people feel better. Research shows listening to sad songs helps people recover from breakups. So, maybe sad posts help people recover from breakouts.rolleyes.gif Furthermore, listening to sad songs can make you feel like someone out there knows how you feel and that can help you feel less alone when you’re depressed. I think people like knowing someone out there sort of knows what it’s like to have their severe acne, instead of someone with decent skin telling them what they foolishly believe they should do. There are also plenty of reasons why expressing yourself is beneficial, even if some people can’t really relate and perceive the posts as off-putting and negative.

In my previous post I was just giving reasons why positivity isn’t necessarily helpful for those with severe acne and scarring.  I have nothing against positivity. I’m just against all the spurious arguments and bogus beliefs that people have about severe acne. The misconceptions are harmful.  People need to know how much of an impact acne can have on an attractive person’s life, so parents will bother to take their kids to a dermatologist. Studies show acne significantly affects a person’s quality of life especially for those who have had acne for years. Studies also show skin blemishes strangely make a person’s face appear less symmetrical and therefore less attractive.  A study also shows healthy even toned skin trumps masculinity for male attractiveness. Also, acne and severe scarring can significantly decrease a person’s mate value. There are so many reasons people automatically wrongly dismiss all acne scarring as being nothing serious, which is why I hope these posts, which some people consider negative, might help increase social awareness. However, positive posts might help increase traffic to this section of the forum since severe acne and scarring isn't nearly as common as mild acne, and most mild acne sufferers might come here for a good vibe.

"There is no single disease which causes more psychic trauma, more maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feelings of inferiority and greater sums of psychic suffering than does acne vulgaris."  --Sulzberger & Zaldems"

You are beyond delusional, dude. I'm sorry that I had to be so blunt. Especially you last few statements. You have NO idea what you're talking about if you think that there is no disease more serious than acne when it comes to causing psychic trauma, etc. Think about life more deeply. That's pretty much the only advice I can give you. I have had moderate acne outbreaks more than once in my life and do have some scarring, but I have 0 problems hooking up with girls and being a head-turner anywhere I go. Again, sorry for being so blunt, but this really pressed my buttons. 



i would suggest u try to take things a lil; more positively my frnd.

will sad stuff make u happy?

and happy stuff make u sad.

since there's no third way,i'd say try a new angle.

 Do you enjoy sad movies and books? Yes, sad stuff does make people feel better. Research shows listening to sad songs helps people recover from breakups. So, maybe sad posts help people recover from breakouts.rolleyes.gif Furthermore, listening to sad songs can make you feel like someone out there knows how you feel and that can help you feel less alone when you’re depressed. I think people like knowing someone out there sort of knows what it’s like to have their severe acne, instead of someone with decent skin telling them what they foolishly believe they should do. There are also plenty of reasons why expressing yourself is beneficial, even if some people can’t really relate and perceive the posts as off-putting and negative.

In my previous post I was just giving reasons why positivity isn’t necessarily helpful for those with severe acne and scarring.  I have nothing against positivity. I’m just against all the spurious arguments and bogus beliefs that people have about severe acne. The misconceptions are harmful.  People need to know how much of an impact acne can have on an attractive person’s life, so parents will bother to take their kids to a dermatologist. Studies show acne significantly affects a person’s quality of life especially for those who have had acne for years. Studies also show skin blemishes strangely make a person’s face appear less symmetrical and therefore less attractive.  A study also shows healthy even toned skin trumps masculinity for male attractiveness. Also, acne and severe scarring can significantly decrease a person’s mate value. There are so many reasons people automatically wrongly dismiss all acne scarring as being nothing serious, which is why I hope these posts, which some people consider negative, might help increase social awareness. However, positive posts might help increase traffic to this section of the forum since severe acne and scarring isn't nearly as common as mild acne, and most mild acne sufferers might come here for a good vibe.

"There is no single disease which causes more psychic trauma, more maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feelings of inferiority and greater sums of psychic suffering than does acne vulgaris."  --Sulzberger & Zaldems"

 

 


You are beyond delusional, dude. I'm sorry that I had to be so blunt. Especially your last few statements. You have NO idea what you're talking about if you think that there is no disease more serious than acne when it comes to causing psychic trauma, etc. Think about life more deeply. That's pretty much the only advice I can give you. I have had moderate acne outbreaks more than once in my life and do have some scarring, but I have 0 problems hooking up with girls and being a head-turner anywhere I go. Again, sorry for being so blunt, but this really pressed my buttons. 

 



#22 aanabill

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 03:19 AM

"There is no single disease which causes more psychic trauma, more maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feelings of inferiority and greater sums of psychic suffering than does acne vulgaris."  --Sulzberger & Zaldems"

i have nothing to say on this!

i will ignore the fact that some said this and others believed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

enjoying a sad thing doesnt mean it helps me.

atleast i can speak for myself.

sad songs only make me sad.when am low,i have a tendency to listen to songs that are sad and they never make me get over stuff,

i need to read a funny book or watch a movie thats fun or groovy to get a smile.

may be its just me but anyway.

 

i expect u to read our posts once more,

none of us have said that writing here is wrong.

in fact,we have stressed on how this place is meant for support and venting out of suppressed emotions.

we are all in this together.

talking about not getting a girl or how life ruined ur life is okay,

but what is not okay is when all 'someone' wants to hear is "oh!yes i dnt get a girl too' or 'damn!my life is ruined ad well'!

 

instead i wish people would understand that although there's acne and pain but its not the end.

we r all beyond our skin.

are all the people happy or loved or successful(however big or small it is!) are with perfect skin?

does that help us infer that there's more than just skin.

 

taking care of our skin is a must.

we are primarily here to speak about how we can cure or treat our skin issues.

yes,we all wanna get rid of it.

but just like stressing doesnt help ur skin, being negative about it through doesnt either.

so if not for all other reasons,trying to be a lil' positive in general for ur own skin!

 

positive doesnt mean sing a happy song or dance !

positive means stop to tell others we r here and things can get better.be optimistic about being able to do something worthwhile in life and be confident that u're more than just ur skin.

and believe so urself.

 

i know its difficult and its okay to have those moments when u break down and cry.

but to become all negative always is not right IMO.

life is more than just ur skin.

tomorrow if i die.

i will be left with just my negativity and lost nature,

i wouldnt want that to happen.

i am not a clown,and i sadly dnt have that flair to make people smile and laugh all the time.

but am serious.



#23 mrnegative

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 07:53 AM

Thank you, aanabill. I personally know how tough it is to understand and get past the stage of constant negativity because I was caught in that vicious cycle not too long ago. Once you DO escape it, though, you'll realize how draining it is and how much time you're wasting worrying about something that is neither life threatening nor physically debilitating. 



#24 XXYY

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 09:00 AM

It might seem destructive to dwell in the negativity but at the same time we all feel these horrible feelings and you just need to get them out. As common as acne is, most of us are alone in our struggles - thats why we're all here, right? Just knowing that other people feel the same way as you do is a step on the road to feeling better. Those feelings exist regardless of whether we let them out or not.



#25 aanabill

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 09:19 AM

Thank you, aanabill. I personally know how tough it is to understand and get past the stage of constant negativity because I was caught in that vicious cycle not too long ago. Once you DO escape it, though, you'll realize how draining it is and how much time you're wasting worrying about something that is neither life threatening nor physically debilitating. 

what i am concerned about is some dnt tend to get the whole 'getting over' concept.

and i say this out of concern and not anger or as a complaint.

i feel for them for i understand the effects acne has on us.

 

we r all here to talk n let it out but its just sad when no matter what we say,it never reaches them.

its almost like they are stuck.

i hope and pray i am able to make someone see through it!

but someone has suggested me for good that sometimes when one has such a firm opinion(whether negative or positive) it is difficult to shake them just then untill they themselves want to.

so i will from now on,try to pursue and explain but if i see its all in vain,i'll let it be.

 

i always hope good for every one here whether or not i know them personally.

whether or not i am sweet to them or have had a row!

 

 

i am very pleased u seek positivity here though.

good luck with it and with acne too.



#26 dejaclairevoyant

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 11:14 AM

I don't find it negative in here, personally. This place has saved me from suicide more than a few times, and it was because of the positive vibes and loving support.

 

There are only a few people who are really negative all the time here. Most of the rest of us just have a bad day once in a while.



#27 aanabill

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Posted 17 June 2013 - 12:38 PM

I don't find it negative in here, personally. This place has saved me from suicide more than a few times, and it was because of the positive vibes and loving support.

 

There are only a few people who are really negative all the time here. Most of the rest of us just have a bad day once in a while.

there's been a few negatives of late actually.

i have joined not many days ago..and yes,even among lots of great people i have seen some not so greats.

and we r talking of them and just them.

 

also,u see even when u were broken,u imbibed the positivity and moved on.

u stopped urself.

all we want is to let that positive vibe spread.

luck!=)



#28 AghhNe

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 01:00 PM

well, from the looks of your pictures,  you don't have it as worse as other members here so that might be a reason.
I still think that we should spread a positive vibe though but others are just going through much harder time.
Just my 2 cents :D

Please please give motivation and spread positive vibes because WE NEED IT!



#29 Frank*L

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 01:12 PM

well, from the looks of your pictures,  you don't have it as worse as other members here so that might be a reason.
I still think that we should spread a positive vibe though but others are just going through much harder time.
Just my 2 cents biggrin.png

Please please give motivation and spread positive vibes because WE NEED IT!

 

yea he obviously is a good looking dude with the confidence to post shirtless pics of himself but has the nerve to tell others who are going through much tougher times than him to stop being so negative. some of us are suffering beyond belief. acne is much physical as it is mental.

 

sure this board doesnt have to be all negative, hell this post is very negative but I also try to support others and be positive as well. its give and take. we are all trying to support each other, some of us just choose to be negative at all times which is also cool. who are you to tell them not to be? you dont know what they are going through!



#30 AmbitiousOne

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 02:32 PM

well, from the looks of your pictures,  you don't have it as worse as other members here so that might be a reason.
I still think that we should spread a positive vibe though but others are just going through much harder time.
Just my 2 cents biggrin.png

Please please give motivation and spread positive vibes because WE NEED IT!

 

yea he obviously is a good looking dude with the confidence to post shirtless pics of himself but has the nerve to tell others who are going through much tougher times than him to stop being so negative. some of us are suffering beyond belief. acne is much physical as it is mental.

 

sure this board doesnt have to be all negative, hell this post is very negative but I also try to support others and be positive as well. its give and take. we are all trying to support each other, some of us just choose to be negative at all times which is also cool. who are you to tell them not to be? you dont know what they are going through!

 

I agree! Don't get me wrong I am all for freedom of expression, which may include posting topless pictures (which I WILL NEVER DO...I meant guys LOL), but i don't get the point of this topic. We are here to release our anger, our fears... yes, there are times when we want to share our happy moments.

 

Don't want to sound mean but I am not even fond of his pics. I prefer humility in a guy and strutting your body on an acne forum is a bit desperate for me.



First of all, I'd like to say that I've already noticed the irony of my username. I know this is easier said than done, but the overbearing negativity in this section of the forum is very destructive to some people's perception of themselves. When people go to this site, they do so for support and for good vibes. They are most likely down about their acne and are actively looking for solutions. In the meantime, when one clicks on this section, he or she shouldn't have to be bombarded with topic titles like "Dead," "Dying," "Life is over," "No pussy," "Acne is the worst thing that has ever happened and could happen to me in my life." These sorts of emotions are understandable in the midst of an acne breakout, but shouldn't be the be-all, end-all of any situation. I know that my words are unlikely to transform the nature of this section, but I've decided to put in my 2 cents worth pertaining to an issue I've been bothered by for a while now. What do you guys think? 

 

 

I think it is within our rights to post our feelings here no matter how negative they are. If we are down about our acne it is encouraging to see other people going through hell and read their comforting comments.

 

As for my thoughts on you, I don't get your topless pictures, to be honest. Are you trying to pick a girl on this forum or you have confused an acne forum for a modelling one? For me, they look desperate. And that is my two cents.


Edited by AmbitiousOne, 18 June 2013 - 02:29 PM.


#31 mrnegative

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 06:47 PM

well, from the looks of your pictures,  you don't have it as worse as other members here so that might be a reason.
I still think that we should spread a positive vibe though but others are just going through much harder time.
Just my 2 cents biggrin.png

Please please give motivation and spread positive vibes because WE NEED IT!

 

yea he obviously is a good looking dude with the confidence to post shirtless pics of himself but has the nerve to tell others who are going through much tougher times than him to stop being so negative. some of us are suffering beyond belief. acne is much physical as it is mental.

 

sure this board doesnt have to be all negative, hell this post is very negative but I also try to support others and be positive as well. its give and take. we are all trying to support each other, some of us just choose to be negative at all times which is also cool. who are you to tell them not to be? you dont know what they are going through!

Dude, you should take the advice from your profile pic. First of all, I am by no means being judgmental. I'm also suffering with acne on a daily basis, psychologically. The fact that I've got mine relatively (not completely) under control doesn't mean that I can't sympathize with others who are going through a tough time. My idea was to spread positive vibes and to show people that acne won't disable you from being a success in any department of life if you want it enough and showcase enough of your other good qualities. Chill, man. 



 

well, from the looks of your pictures,  you don't have it as worse as other members here so that might be a reason.
I still think that we should spread a positive vibe though but others are just going through much harder time.
Just my 2 cents biggrin.png

Please please give motivation and spread positive vibes because WE NEED IT!

 

yea he obviously is a good looking dude with the confidence to post shirtless pics of himself but has the nerve to tell others who are going through much tougher times than him to stop being so negative. some of us are suffering beyond belief. acne is much physical as it is mental.

 

sure this board doesnt have to be all negative, hell this post is very negative but I also try to support others and be positive as well. its give and take. we are all trying to support each other, some of us just choose to be negative at all times which is also cool. who are you to tell them not to be? you dont know what they are going through!

 

I agree! Don't get me wrong I am all for freedom of expression, which may include posting topless pictures (which I WILL NEVER DO...I meant guys LOL), but i don't get the point of this topic. We are here to release our anger, our fears... yes, there are times when we want to share our happy moments.

 

Don't want to sound mean but I am not even fond of his pics. I prefer humility in a guy and strutting your body on an acne forum is a bit desperate for me.



>First of all, I'd like to say that I've already noticed the irony of my username. I know this is easier said than done, but the overbearing negativity in this section of the forum is very destructive to some people's perception of themselves. When people go to this site, they do so for support and for good vibes. They are most likely down about their acne and are actively looking for solutions. In the meantime, when one clicks on this section, he or she shouldn't have to be bombarded with topic titles like "Dead," "Dying," "Life is over," "No pussy," "Acne is the worst thing that has ever happened and could happen to me in my life." These sorts of emotions are understandable in the midst of an acne breakout, but shouldn't be the be-all, end-all of any situation. I know that my words are unlikely to transform the nature of this section, but I've decided to put in my 2 cents worth pertaining to an issue I've been bothered by for a while now. What do you guys think? 

 

 

I think it is within our rights to post our feelings here no matter how negative they are. If we are down about our acne it is encouraging to see other people going through hell and read their comforting comments.

 

As for my thoughts on you, I don't get your topless pictures, to be honest. Are you trying to pick a girl on this forum or you have confused an acne forum for a modelling one? For me, they look desperate. And that is my two cents.

 

Lmao, I can honestly post whatever I want on this forum. I haven't been disrespectful to anyone and I've only been positive in my responses to people. To be completely honest, I was also depressed over my acne a few months ago and went through a horrific time recovering from the mental toll it took on me. I understand what it's like to struggle. Having said that, you sound like you have deeper problems than acne, Ambitious One. Calling me out on posting happy pictures of myself (a thing that a lot of the good looking people on here do, for kicks) doesn't seem like a natural move from a person without inner issues to address. Chin up. 



well, from the looks of your pictures,  you don't have it as worse as other members here so that might be a reason.
I still think that we should spread a positive vibe though but others are just going through much harder time.
Just my 2 cents biggrin.png

Please please give motivation and spread positive vibes because WE NEED IT!

 

Now there's a person who is thinking a bit more positively and hasn't tried to immediately accuse me of showing off or attempting to make people feel worse about their situation. I chose not to post pictures of my acne and opted for happier pictures that give me motivation and hopefully exude a sort of carefree vibe - something that I'd like to instill in everyone who is struggling deeply. Think about all the positive qualities you have and try not to dwell as much. This is all I'm saying. Yes, I don't have severe acne at the moment. This doesn't mean I'm clueless as to the struggle of the members of this site. There's a reason I want to be active in this community. At times I've turned to it for support and now I'd like to offer the same courtesy. Thanks for your mature response. 


Edited by mrnegative, 18 June 2013 - 06:39 PM.


#32 Stella the diver

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 09:04 PM

Come on guys, we can't just assume things about people just by looking at the pictures they post. 

yeah, my profile pic doesn't show my acne, it's actually one of the pics I really like of myself because it's a low webcam quality that doesn't show it , does that mean that I think of myself as some "hot stuff" and  don't struggle with the emotional and psychological effects of acne? Of course not! it's not wrong to post pictures of ourselves that make us look nice, it's only normal, is it not, but that doesn't mean we can't experience pain.



#33 mrnegative

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 09:09 PM

Come on guys, we can't just assume things about people just by looking at the pictures they post. 

yeah, my profile pic doesn't show my acne, it's actually one of the pics I really like of myself because it's a low webcam quality that doesn't show it , does that mean that I think of myself as some "hot stuff" and  don't struggle with the emotional and psychological effects of acne? Of course not! it's not wrong to post pictures of ourselves that make us look nice, it's only normal, is it not, but that doesn't mean we can't experience pain.

 

I had a feeling you'd be one of the rational ones, Stella. I've come across your posts before. Thank you for that - it means a lot to see that someone can see through the haze. 



#34 dejaclairevoyant

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 11:15 PM

My idea was to spread positive vibes and to show people that acne won't disable you from being a success in any department of life if you want it enough and showcase enough of your other good qualities. Chill, man. 

 

The thing is, some people can't do that. For some people, acne IS disabling in those ways. Plenty of people have depression and other chemical imbalances that make those things difficult anyway, let alone with severe acne which causes ongoing physical and mental pain on a daily basis. I'm only saying this from my perspective as someone who suffered with that for a long time: for me, hearing the whole "mind over matter, be positive, you can still choose to be happy" stuff made me feel worse. It made me feel like I was failing on being mentally strong on TOP of failing in health and beauty, you know? I'm not saying this is what you're saying and I do get the point you're trying to make, but honestly I was unable to change my perspective and get happy with acne. It took me getting better from it to begin climbing out of the hole of depression that I was in and I still suffer with depression over other things.

 

I'm not sure how to exactly articulate the point I'm trying to make and I'm not criticizing you or anything. We've had very similar discussions in here before and I just basically feel that this should be a place where people can be as depressed as they need to be without worrying about coming off too negative or anything like that. I don't think it's true that anyone can find success and happiness while having severe acne (or other limiting health conditions). Many people kill themselves over these things. Depression is a serious disease and acne can most definitely feed into that. It's not always under the person's control how negative they are being. We should just be 100 percent supportive here and nothing else. Just my opinion. I'm  tired and rambling. smile.png


Edited by dejaclairevoyant, 18 June 2013 - 11:15 PM.


#35 Cyberpile

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 11:37 PM


"There is no single disease which causes more psychic trauma, more maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feelings of inferiority and greater sums of psychic suffering than does acne vulgaris."  --Sulzberger & Zaldems"

 

 

You are beyond delusional, dude. I'm sorry that I had to be so blunt. Especially your last few statements. You have NO idea what you're talking about if you think that there is no disease more serious than acne when it comes to causing psychic trauma, etc. Think about life more deeply. That's pretty much the only advice I can give you. I have had moderate acne outbreaks more than once in my life and do have some scarring, but I have 0 problems hooking up with girls and being a head-turner anywhere I go. Again, sorry for being so blunt, but this really pressed my buttons. 

 

 Jeez, those aren't my words! I was just ending with a common quote written in a psychology book by pretty smart psychologists. However, acne is the most common skin disease, so it just might be possible that acne has caused more maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feelings of inferiority as a whole than any other skin disease. Leprosy just isn't very common. So, maybe those psychologist weren't delusional after all. You misinterpreted my statements. The sum of all the psychic trauma caused by acne might be higher than leprosy because hundreds of millions of people get acne and only few get leprosy. Do you understand? Maybe you enjoy insulting people after misinterpreting their statments. Do you enjoy giving advice to people that have posted earlier that they don't want to hear someone with moderate acne telling them what to do? You just completely ignore my request, misinterpret a quote, you write a straw man argument after I wrote about being sick of all the bad arguments, you insult me, and you probably just found an excuse to brag about being a head turner since it goes against nothing I said.  I found the quote on medscape above a study on acne and quality of life in case you interested.

 

Think about how you are irrationally treating people that disagree with you and how it goes against what your original post says. That's the only advice I will give you.


Edited by Sisyphus, 19 June 2013 - 09:36 AM.


#36 aanabill

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 12:25 AM

one can post any pic of their's (except if its not vulgar).its silly to question it asking whether or not it is to pick girls.

 

also,i am not saying dnt post sad posts when u r upset.

just dnt be a rat who never gets positive.

we r here because we have acne.

its moderate now,doesnt mean it was never serious.

and it doesnt mean we dnt get what people are going through.we wouldnt be here answering emotional posts asking them to look through it if we were not interested.

some just think they are the only one who get logic and emotions!!

 

i know its very difficult to get to facts when its one of the worst days.

but do they only post to get replies like "i am suicidal too.i suffer too."?

 

i see posts weighing acne and  cancer!

and then some accuse us of being insensitive for we dnt get how painful acne is.

some other post talks about acne doesnt let them be a pussy slayer or in other case the interviewer rejected him for acne.

doesnt matter how many in whichever way explain them that it might be their attitude and work that is the main reason,they dnt get it.

i do feel bad initially.but if they go on for well long time,i must admit i feel they need professional help!

 

some get effected by acne more than some others.

its not wrong.its not right.

just like depression due to other reasons like death or failure etc can be and should be addressed.

so can 'depression for acne' be addressed.(its a separate story that no many goes for it)

if u find an answer here,we r all happy for u.

there's nothing more we want.

but if u see being here isnt helping u in any way,well u gotta understand u need help.

 

some say oh i dint treat acne initially and now i have scars i will have to live with all my life.

similarly,just being negative all the time will leave ur scars all ur life - why?because work,life,personal relations are all effected.so why not treat?here or otherwise.

for me,if i see a post that needs us(sad posts not those who complain girls are low and only choose hot men),i try to motivate(some days i expect the same from people) but if its beyond repair by us,then help should be seeked.



#37 Scarface123

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 03:26 AM

My idea was to spread positive vibes and to show people that acne won't disable you from being a success in any department of life if you want it enough and showcase enough of your other good qualities. Chill, man. 

 

The thing is, some people can't do that. For some people, acne IS disabling in those ways. Plenty of people have depression and other chemical imbalances that make those things difficult anyway, let alone with severe acne which causes ongoing physical and mental pain on a daily basis. I'm only saying this from my perspective as someone who suffered with that for a long time: for me, hearing the whole "mind over matter, be positive, you can still choose to be happy" stuff made me feel worse. It made me feel like I was failing on being mentally strong on TOP of failing in health and beauty, you know? I'm not saying this is what you're saying and I do get the point you're trying to make, but honestly I was unable to change my perspective and get happy with acne. It took me getting better from it to begin climbing out of the hole of depression that I was in and I still suffer with depression over other things.

 

I'm not sure how to exactly articulate the point I'm trying to make and I'm not criticizing you or anything. We've had very similar discussions in here before and I just basically feel that this should be a place where people can be as depressed as they need to be without worrying about coming off too negative or anything like that. I don't think it's true that anyone can find success and happiness while having severe acne (or other limiting health conditions). Many people kill themselves over these things. Depression is a serious disease and acne can most definitely feed into that. It's not always under the person's control how negative they are being. We should just be 100 percent supportive here and nothing else. Just my opinion. I'm  tired and rambling. smile.png

 

My idea was to spread positive vibes and to show people that acne won't disable you from being a success in any department of life if you want it enough and showcase enough of your other good qualities. Chill, man. 

 

The thing is, some people can't do that. For some people, acne IS disabling in those ways. Plenty of people have depression and other chemical imbalances that make those things difficult anyway, let alone with severe acne which causes ongoing physical and mental pain on a daily basis. I'm only saying this from my perspective as someone who suffered with that for a long time: for me, hearing the whole "mind over matter, be positive, you can still choose to be happy" stuff made me feel worse. It made me feel like I was failing on being mentally strong on TOP of failing in health and beauty, you know? I'm not saying this is what you're saying and I do get the point you're trying to make, but honestly I was unable to change my perspective and get happy with acne. It took me getting better from it to begin climbing out of the hole of depression that I was in and I still suffer with depression over other things.

 

I'm not sure how to exactly articulate the point I'm trying to make and I'm not criticizing you or anything. We've had very similar discussions in here before and I just basically feel that this should be a place where people can be as depressed as they need to be without worrying about coming off too negative or anything like that. I don't think it's true that anyone can find success and happiness while having severe acne (or other limiting health conditions). Many people kill themselves over these things. Depression is a serious disease and acne can most definitely feed into that. It's not always under the person's control how negative they are being. We should just be 100 percent supportive here and nothing else. Just my opinion. I'm  tired and rambling. smile.png

 

Yeah, exactly man, that's the way I figured out. If you play positive and a good guy, others will notice that you actually faking and will tkink of you as #cringeworthy. Been there, done that. You have to find yourself and you have to be what you are. I figured out that what makes me really happy is doing what I like. But that doesn't need to be an obstacle. 


Edited by Scarface123, 19 June 2013 - 07:47 AM.


#38 elliew8

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 06:55 AM

Just though I'd weigh in here...doesn't it make sense to let people be negative or positive whenever they feel like it? Fair enough sometimes it's a bit depressing to read but equally it's reassuring too because others are going through the same stuff.

 

I think if it seems overwhelmingly negative maybe just don't click on those posts and start a few positive threads. Same goes for when negative threads get some positive advice - if we are feeling like we need to just wallow/ vent without the pep talk then don't reply to the poster.

 

It's no good complaining about each other, some people are more optimistic and others more pessimistic, either way this is the section to deal with emotions so just accept the happy posts along with the depressing ones.



#39 mrnegative

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 07:15 AM

 

My idea was to spread positive vibes and to show people that acne won't disable you from being a success in any department of life if you want it enough and showcase enough of your other good qualities. Chill, man. 

 

The thing is, some people can't do that. For some people, acne IS disabling in those ways. Plenty of people have depression and other chemical imbalances that make those things difficult anyway, let alone with severe acne which causes ongoing physical and mental pain on a daily basis. I'm only saying this from my perspective as someone who suffered with that for a long time: for me, hearing the whole "mind over matter, be positive, you can still choose to be happy" stuff made me feel worse. It made me feel like I was failing on being mentally strong on TOP of failing in health and beauty, you know? I'm not saying this is what you're saying and I do get the point you're trying to make, but honestly I was unable to change my perspective and get happy with acne. It took me getting better from it to begin climbing out of the hole of depression that I was in and I still suffer with depression over other things.

 

I'm not sure how to exactly articulate the point I'm trying to make and I'm not criticizing you or anything. We've had very similar discussions in here before and I just basically feel that this should be a place where people can be as depressed as they need to be without worrying about coming off too negative or anything like that. I don't think it's true that anyone can find success and happiness while having severe acne (or other limiting health conditions). Many people kill themselves over these things. Depression is a serious disease and acne can most definitely feed into that. It's not always under the person's control how negative they are being. We should just be 100 percent supportive here and nothing else. Just my opinion. I'm  tired and rambling. smile.png

 

My idea was to spread positive vibes and to show people that acne won't disable you from being a success in any department of life if you want it enough and showcase enough of your other good qualities. Chill, man. 

 

The thing is, some people can't do that. For some people, acne IS disabling in those ways. Plenty of people have depression and other chemical imbalances that make those things difficult anyway, let alone with severe acne which causes ongoing physical and mental pain on a daily basis. I'm only saying this from my perspective as someone who suffered with that for a long time: for me, hearing the whole "mind over matter, be positive, you can still choose to be happy" stuff made me feel worse. It made me feel like I was failing on being mentally strong on TOP of failing in health and beauty, you know? I'm not saying this is what you're saying and I do get the point you're trying to make, but honestly I was unable to change my perspective and get happy with acne. It took me getting better from it to begin climbing out of the hole of depression that I was in and I still suffer with depression over other things.

 

I'm not sure how to exactly articulate the point I'm trying to make and I'm not criticizing you or anything. We've had very similar discussions in here before and I just basically feel that this should be a place where people can be as depressed as they need to be without worrying about coming off too negative or anything like that. I don't think it's true that anyone can find success and happiness while having severe acne (or other limiting health conditions). Many people kill themselves over these things. Depression is a serious disease and acne can most definitely feed into that. It's not always under the person's control how negative they are being. We should just be 100 percent supportive here and nothing else. Just my opinion. I'm  tired and rambling. smile.png

 

Yeah, exactly man, that's the way I figured out. If you play positive and a good guy, others will notice that you actually faking and will thing of you as #cringeworthy. Been there, done that. You have to find yourself and you have to be what you are. I figured out that what makes me really happy is doing what I like. But that doesn't need to be an obstacle. 

 

 

I see the merits of your post, but I do take a bit of an issue with the phrasing "play positive and a good guy." I'm not really attempting to "play" anything. I don't see this as some sort of stage. I -am- being what I am and doing what makes me happy by trying to view things in a less depressing way. I'm working on changing the view that I had for months in regards to acne. It's sad that I'm realizing now how useless and wasteful feeling down really is. Yes, there were times when I couldn't help it - but that's when you usually know it's time for help from others (and not just users on this site). If a user is happy being consistently negative and posting things that hint at their hatred for life, then have at it. For some reason though, I find that rather hard to believe. 

 

Just though I'd weigh in here...doesn't it make sense to let people be negative or positive whenever they feel like it? Fair enough sometimes it's a bit depressing to read but equally it's reassuring too because others are going through the same stuff.

 

I think if it seems overwhelmingly negative maybe just don't click on those posts and start a few positive threads. Same goes for when negative threads get some positive advice - if we are feeling like we need to just wallow/ vent without the pep talk then don't reply to the poster.

 

It's no good complaining about each other, some people are more optimistic and others more pessimistic, either way this is the section to deal with emotions so just accept the happy posts along with the depressing ones.

 

Ellie, thanks. That's a balanced response. Maybe my topic was a bit provocative and it seemed like I was indeed "complaining" or blasting users for doing what they're doing. I was certainly showcasing my dislike for some of the more banal, depressing topics in this section, but I never meant to criticize or demean anyone's input. It was mainly an opinion topic, which is why I asked for feedback. What I didn't ask for (some users didn't really get this) is pathetic personal attacks stemming from insecurity. Ah, but we're well past that now, aren't we? :) 



#40 Cyberpile

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 10:54 AM

"There is no single disease which causes more psychic trauma, more maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feelings of inferiority and greater sums of psychic suffering than does acne vulgaris."  --Sulzberger & Zaldems"

i have nothing to say on this!

i will ignore the fact that some said this and others believed.

Billions of people get acne when they are young. Their is no way of adding up all the all the psychic trauma but can you name a skin disease that's common enough to have a higher sum of maladjustment between parents and children, more general insecurity and feeling of inferiority and greater sums of psychic suffering than does acne vulgaris? It's a quote from medscape introducing a study showing acne's impact on quality of life.

 

its moderate now,doesnt mean it was never serious.

and it doesnt mean we dnt get what people are going through.we wouldnt be here answering emotional posts asking them to look through it if we were not interested.

some just think they are the only one who get logic and emotions!!

 

i see posts weighing acne and  cancer!

and then some accuse us of being insensitive for we dnt get how painful acne is.

 

It seems some people with severe acne believe other people don't truly understand what it's like. It also seems people who enjoy giving happy posts believe they do understand the pain and that some severe acne sufferer's don't understand the benefit of thinking positively. I'm sure they're both right depending on the persons involved. The hard part is convincing the people that are wrong why they are wrong when the person is irrational and emotionally driven.

 

some say oh i dint treat acne initially and now i have scars i will have to live with all my life.

similarly,just being negative all the time will leave ur scars all ur life - why?because work,life,personal relations are all effected.so why not treat?here or otherwise.

for me,if i see a post that needs us(sad posts not those who complain girls are low and only choose hot men),i try to motivate(some days i expect the same from people) but if its beyond repair by us,then help should be seeked.

I said that in order to argue that obsessing about acne isn't necessarily bad. I wasn't trying to be negative. I give sad arguments sometimes in order to have evidence that supports my conclusions. Is it somehow wrong to argue using sad stories? Does that make me a negative person?

 

Ellie, thanks. That's a balanced response. Maybe my topic was a bit provocative and it seemed like I was indeed "complaining" or blasting users for doing what they're doing. I was certainly showcasing my dislike for some of the more banal, depressing topics in this section, but I never meant to criticize or demean anyone's input. It was mainly an opinion topic, which is why I asked for feedback. What I didn't ask for (some users didn't really get this) is pathetic personal attacks stemming from insecurity. Ah, but we're well past that now, aren't we? smile.png

"is a pathetic personal attack stemming form insecurity" Try to be a little nicer. Is it really necessary to start calling the suspicious depressed people that argue against you insecure, especially since you're suppose to be bringing positivity? Sadly, some of your replies our pathetic insulting attacks.