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Why Do People Stare?


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#21 dejaclairevoyant

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 07:10 PM

 

 

Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

 

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

 

with me its one of the two extremes either someone is staring at me (usually a dude) or I get completely ignored (usually females)

 

the worst for me is like passing someone by in an empty hallway and when I come withing 10 feet of the person they look away, look down or pretend they are reading something on their cell phone. Or if I say "hello" and I get ignored. I feel like raging. 

 

and like today at a mcdonalds drive thru some fat chick at the window (not to be mean but whatever) asked me what kind of sauce I want with my nuggets and when I looked at her she quickly looks away with this expressionless face and when she gave me my order she didnt even say shit or look at me. i have developed such a complex that I don't know how to take things anymore. did she see my scars? am I that f*cking repulsive? shes no prize either! i felt like throwing my nuggets in her face stupid b*tch. heh

 

/rant

 

I realize that might suck, but like I said above, keep in mind that people do this ALL the time to regular people who don't have acne. People are just antisocial as shit especially since the Internet took over our lives. I see people avoid eye contact with just about anyone all of the time. Probably at least half of society has some sort of social phobia. Don't assume it's even about you. The same goes for people being rude at fast food restaurants. Normal, even beautiful, people get that sort of treatment all the time. It's only when you have something you're insecure about that you assume that's the reason. Most people just assume the person is an asshole.



#22 Frank*L

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 12:35 PM

 

 

 

 

 

Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

 

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

 

with me its one of the two extremes either someone is staring at me (usually a dude) or I get completely ignored (usually females)

 

the worst for me is like passing someone by in an empty hallway and when I come withing 10 feet of the person they look away, look down or pretend they are reading something on their cell phone. Or if I say "hello" and I get ignored. I feel like raging. 

 

and like today at a mcdonalds drive thru some fat chick at the window (not to be mean but whatever) asked me what kind of sauce I want with my nuggets and when I looked at her she quickly looks away with this expressionless face and when she gave me my order she didnt even say shit or look at me. i have developed such a complex that I don't know how to take things anymore. did she see my scars? am I that f*cking repulsive? shes no prize either! i felt like throwing my nuggets in her face stupid b*tch. heh

 

/rant

 

That's exactly what I was talking about, mate. biggrin.png Finally, I see that I'm not the only one with these problems. This is actually a reason, why I hate crowded areas or bigger crowded cities. If I go f.g. shopping, I'm humiliated not only once, but dozens time per day and that's what nobody deserves! It is just unfair to me. Sometimes I question myself, why do I have these problems? What have I done wrong in this life that I'm having such problems. I'm not talented for nothing, I'm not good in sports which I love, btw., I'm not good at faculty. So basically, I don't have a thing to compensate these acne. How do u compensate it?

 

you and I are like the same person, which sucks for you! lol I ask myself those same questions because I really am a good guy. I know total jerks who get more respect than I do. I have gone through different personalities in my life to try to find myself and compensate for having acne/scars and honestly I had the most luck with girls being the outspoken "I don't give a f*ck" guy but its a hard persona to keep up especially when its 100% fake. and I attracted psycho chicks. so if I die tomorrow at least I could say I got laid which to most dudes is no big deal. and believe me I'm ugly as hell its not like I'm bragging at all i'd trade my life away to be someone else in a heartbeat. 

 

i'm not good at anything either, im not smart, talented, i suck at sports too, I cant really fight and usually get my ass kicked when I tried to defend myself in the past ( i love martial arts) , and i think way too much which makes me talk slowly because Im just not witty.

 

i dont know how to compensate anymore I ran out of personalities to test out. so now in days I'm just myself which is pretty much quiet guy who doesn't want to be bothered. im 31 now but feel like im 60 something on the verge of having a stroke because i stress myself out way too much.

 

I do (allegedly) smoke tho it makes me forget how lonely I am and I can enjoy a movie or video game. I dont recommend you do that tho heh.

 

keep in touch you seem like a cool dude. peace.

 

Yeah, I feel you, mate, I feel you. We have a lot of things in common as I can see hehe smile.png But unlike you I can't change my personality completly. I mean, at the start of a new conversation with a new person I'm very reserved, shy, nervous, but when I relax I can be very talkative aswell. I can listen to other people and I put myself in their situation, I'm very tolerant, but you know, girls don't like that. Girls like some "bad" boys, which I'm not, and I can't pretend to be a bad boy if I'm not. You know how they say: the worse a man treats a woman, more she loves him. I can't be like that. I'm not that kind of a person and that's the reason I'm not interesting to the females, you see? It's written in their subconscious mind allthough they will never admit it.

 

hey reading our conversation again I realized you were asking for advice and all I did was ramble about myself. sorry about that. I honestly don't know how to help you because like I mentioned before you and I are very similar. I am here if you want to talk tho bro. feel free to message me if you like. peace.



#23 Jasmine001

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Posted 21 June 2013 - 11:54 PM

D: I understand. I wear makeup, and although my acne isn't as bad as it could be, I'm always scared that without my makeup I will be treated differently/stared at.

 

I work at a fast food place, and there's a lot of people who order that are teens/adults that have acne. I always try to make a point to look in their eyes. I hate when you're talking to someone, and you can see their eyes shifting all over your face.

 

Sometimes, though, the customer doesn't make eye contact with me because they are embarrassed. I wish they knew I can totally relate. When I see someone with really severe acne, particularly a girl my age without makeup, I envy her confidence because I can't even go out without makeup.



#24 txngrl

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Posted 21 July 2013 - 11:37 PM

Thanks everyone for the responses-  they have helped me feel a little better about this.  At least I know my son isn't the only person who gets stared at!  LOL  :D 

 

Sorry I haven't replied until now.  Haven't been on the forums much lately.   My son is doing better, he is now in month 4 and his face is way better, pretty much almost all clear.  It's the body acne that is taking forever to heal.   But he's not exactly halfway through his treatment yet, so I'm trying to be patient.

 

Some of your responses were very amusing to me- not making fun of anybody, but again, it was nice to see that other people deal with rude, or emotionally challenged people in public.   Also, my son is always thinking people are staring at him- so maybe he's paranoid?  LOL .   But that day, I did actually witness that guy staring at him, and like some of you have said, it might have been for a different reason (kinda doubt it though).  Maybe he was a pedophile?  Or maybe he recognized him?   In any event, I didn't like it and it made us both very uncomfortable.  But yes, I know that other people, even beautiful, acne-free people get ignored or treated badly by strangers. 

 

thanks again guys, and take care!   And anyone else who might have a humorous (or not) anecdote to share about being stared at, please do!   :)



#25 Wcs

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Posted 31 July 2013 - 02:16 AM

Stares in public are the worst. Unfortunately it's not just the younger generation, either. I've seen many (if not more) older people gawking as if I'm some circus attraction. 



#26 Perseverance92

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Posted 31 July 2013 - 08:31 AM

Anything not ordinary which the public sees is bound to get attention.Scars are not ordinary.So they stare and sneer.The public also does consists of some very callous older individuals who it seems have not learnt anything from their big life.You may say their life has been a waste smile.png . Next time you see an old granny snubbing you because of your scars ,call her "Waste life".

                                                                  

Because we should not respect individuals because of their age.Instead we should respect them because of their actions wink.png


Edited by Perseverance92, 31 July 2013 - 08:32 AM.


#27 kevindreed

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 10:28 AM

People who never sen really bad skin ususally stare.

Use this regimen 2 pumps of bp and 2 pumps of cetaphil moisturizer mixed with 30 drops of jojoba oil. Use CVS oilpads to wipe away shine. Your breakouts will stop immediately and within 2 weeks all existing pimples will be gone.



#28 Aiko1992

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Posted 12 January 2014 - 11:21 AM

I´ve been dealing with this my entire freaking life.unsure.png  One of the most things that really bother me is when people stare at me, if they a re guys i actually don´t mind at all. Which is obvious a guy is going to stare at a girl wink.png , but what i hate the most is when girls stare at me. Sometimes i can see that, they are not really staring at my skin, they are just staring at my hair, my cloths, my shoes, etc. It really bothers me because staring is very rude, you can look at someone but do not stare at that person to the point of making that person feel uncomfortableblink.png . I don´t like it ! and when it happens the first thing i do is either stare at them backmellow.png  but in a very mean way like ´´What the heck are you staring at me for? or keep staring at them until they take their eyes out of me. 

 

One time i was at the supermarket and there was this girl who was staring at me, non stop! like she had her eyes on me all the time to the point i got tired and said to her ´´stop staring at me, it bothers me!!´´ she turn pale so did her mother who was, standing right besides her. My mother got very angry at me saying you cannoteusa_naughty.gif  tell people not to stare at you, sometimes they stare at you because maybe they find you  attractive or they like what you are wearing. I try to understand that and sometimes when they are people staring at me am like ´´Ok, Evelin, calm down, this people might be staring at you because maybe they find, something interesting in you, they are not doing it to bother you´´ but sometimes i just get so angry and frustrated. 

 

One of my best friends told me to be thankfull that people stare at me, that shows me that they might be interested in me and that you are the center of the attention. But i don´t like to get stare it doesn´t matter if it is, because of my skin, my hair, my cloths or even the way i talk DON´T STARE IS RUDE!!!. angry.png






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