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Why Do People Stare?

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Just wondering why people stare at others who have acne. I was at the store today with my kids, including my young teenage son who has cystic acne and is on Accutane. When we walked by these 2 young men (20s), one of them was STARING at my son as we walked by, not taking his eyes off of him. It was SO RUDE. I wanted to say, "Excuse me, why are you staring at my son??" Or, just slap him... I can understand young kids staring at someone who has a skin disorder, but an adult in their 20s really should know better.

Surely others have experienced this.. How have you dealt with it? I told my son, next time just stare back at them and maybe they'll look away :D

oh, and this isn't the first time I've noticed someone staring at him. But gee, you would think people (grown-ups) would have more compassion than to just stare at a kid who is already self-conscious and embarrassed about his skin.

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Hello read your post and would like to give you an honest view opinion to your question. Let me start off by saying that im currently 19 years old I'll be 20 next month on the second day. I've had really bad acne that started when I was around 12 it's only begun to go away naturally when I turned 18, im wanting it to be gone by the time I turn 21. So in total I've now have had acne for around 8 years all through my teens.

I'd also like to say that im very glad to hear that your helping your son seek out medication for his condition. I only wish a had such luxury, I can tell you first hand as you probably already know that acne is no joke and can have real effect's on a persons state of mind. it's not fun at all, I should know. I wont lie to you madam, unfortunately thing's like this have happened to me often similar to the situation you described, from all kinds of people as well including kids to full grown adults. It has effected me greatly mentally and emotionally throughout the years and still does but not nearly as bad as it use to. I have learned to accept myself and realize that I am going to grow out of it because my parent's did so I should too.

Now on your question, I don't believe there is a single answer for every situation but I can tell you the general reasons why I believe people unfortunately stare at your son as people have done to me also. on this particular case these guy's are still young, it's by belief that the current generation has lost many of the moral and ethical values that people use to have. people in their 20's still act as if they are teens immature, vulgar, and just down right mean as hell. they have little sympathy for people who are different. this is I think, because of the way our society works people are glorified for all the wrong reasons. instead of praising good deeds, kindness, a sense of community. I feel we glorify looks, status, position things like this that have made our society not to pleasant for a person with acne.

You might find that they are many people like this, most likely around urban areas like big cities. Do I believe people are just mean? honestly yes to some degree, people are just naturally judgmental towards each other. On top of that, I think people don't deal well with what's different people like sticking to what they know and are use to. unfortunately people with acne especially severe types of it are rare and people tend to not understand why that particular person has it. they may think it's an infection or something. in the end I think people are just plain curious, enough to pay money just to see like in the old carnival shows.

To conclude I just want to say that you should try and be as understanding as possible towards your son. let him know that it's normal for people to get acne and that hopefully the medication will succeed, I'd like to hear an update about his condition if you don't mind you can send me a personal message if you like . Also if he ever needs to talk to someone about it this communities all ears (well eyes) including me =)

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some people are just ignorant and weren't raised correctly. people would stare at me too or call me dirty and these people were in their 30's, 40's, 50's its a shame and they probably have kids and don't teach them any manners so they just breed stupidity.

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That's just plain rude. I don't see what's so particular about acne for people to stare at. What, they've never seen acne before? It feels so depressing to be stared at like that , they make you feel like you're the only one in the world with acne...like a freak show!

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Morning : Wash face with Cetaphil Oil Control Foam Wash, moisturize with Cetaphil Oil Control Moisturizer w/ spf30

Before bedtime: Wash face with Cetaphil Oil Control Foam Wash and apply Tactuo on affected areas

Medication: 100 mg Minocycline/day

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You could slap him or just ask why his looking at your son.

But you have to be 100% certain he is staring cause of his acne.

You never know, I once was stare at I ask the lady she said I look familiar.

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I know the feeling and because of this I used to look down all the time ! Humanity can be cruel sometimes.


46146861.png


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Even highly intelligent people will stare not just idiots. Family members, cops, priest, teachers you name it. When I do catch em and they look away just say it's ok you can stare it's not everyday you can see an ugly ass monster. It's understandable, annoying but understandable.

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They might not have been looking at him because of acne...

from far away when girls can't see my acne they stare and like me, but when they get up close they probably think I look like Rudolph the red nose reindeer because my acne on my forehead is so red and pops out at them.


If you weren´t born with male model looks you were never alive in the first place.

Acne = death for the social life of the teenaged male.


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just like me, every time im in the public area, people just looking at me, im really shy because my scar is really worse

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This has to do with low emotional intelligence. People without high levels of emotional intelligence are basically unaware of how their actions affect others. There are people who are flat-out cruel, but most often these people just don't have the mental capacity to understand the way that staring might make another person feel. It's a combination of that and not being raised correctly. I was always told by adults that it isn't polite to stare at people, especially people with any type of physical disfigurement. I understood that concept from a young age but I also have always tested very high on emotional intelligence.

I also wanted to point out that people who stare sometimes stare at people who have nothing wrong with them too. They are just idiots who probably aren't even aware they are doing it. There could be a lot of reasons also, such as maybe they recognized your son or thought he might have been someone they knew, etc.


Current Skin-Care Regimen (A work in progress):

Morning:

Gentle wash with DKR cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil (The lotion alone wasn't hydrating enough)

Skin 79 Korean BB Cream (excellent stuff)

Evening:

Gentle Wash with DKR Cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil


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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. ;)

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. ;)

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Poor upbringing you may say? I was always taught to never point my fingers or stare at anyone.Maybe not every parent imparts this basic rule of social etiquette to their children.Also this may suggest a very poor level of emotional intelligence as dejaclairevoyant said.A person having low E.Q doesn't understands how his actions could affect others.They just do it for the heck of it.

People often stare at me and i find it so uncomfortable.Especially when girls do it.It's maybe because i have a very grim expression most of the times.Also i have unusually broad shoulders if compared to the rest of my body.But that's another story. :)

Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

I look cool? lol maybe. But all throughout my life i have had low confidence about myself.Prior to acne this was because i was the "fat kid" with lard attached to every part of my body.Then when i worked my socks off to shed it off ,acne came .Maybe the girls stare at me because my scars are hideous?

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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

with me its one of the two extremes either someone is staring at me (usually a dude) or I get completely ignored (usually females)

the worst for me is like passing someone by in an empty hallway and when I come withing 10 feet of the person they look away, look down or pretend they are reading something on their cell phone. Or if I say "hello" and I get ignored. I feel like raging.

and like today at a mcdonalds drive thru some fat chick at the window (not to be mean but whatever) asked me what kind of sauce I want with my nuggets and when I looked at her she quickly looks away with this expressionless face and when she gave me my order she didnt even say shit or look at me. i have developed such a complex that I don't know how to take things anymore. did she see my scars? am I that f*cking repulsive? shes no prize either! i felt like throwing my nuggets in her face stupid b*tch. heh

/rant

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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

with me its one of the two extremes either someone is staring at me (usually a dude) or I get completely ignored (usually females)

the worst for me is like passing someone by in an empty hallway and when I come withing 10 feet of the person they look away, look down or pretend they are reading something on their cell phone. Or if I say "hello" and I get ignored. I feel like raging.

and like today at a mcdonalds drive thru some fat chick at the window (not to be mean but whatever) asked me what kind of sauce I want with my nuggets and when I looked at her she quickly looks away with this expressionless face and when she gave me my order she didnt even say shit or look at me. i have developed such a complex that I don't know how to take things anymore. did she see my scars? am I that f*cking repulsive? shes no prize either! i felt like throwing my nuggets in her face stupid b*tch. heh

/rant

That's exactly what I was talking about, mate. :D Finally, I see that I'm not the only one with these problems. This is actually a reason, why I hate crowded areas or bigger crowded cities. If I go f.g. shopping, I'm humiliated not only once, but dozens time per day and that's what nobody deserves! It is just unfair to me. Sometimes I question myself, why do I have these problems? What have I done wrong in this life that I'm having such problems. I'm not talented for nothing, I'm not good in sports which I love, btw., I'm not good at faculty. So basically, I don't have a thing to compensate these acne. How do u compensate it?

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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

with me its one of the two extremes either someone is staring at me (usually a dude) or I get completely ignored (usually females)

the worst for me is like passing someone by in an empty hallway and when I come withing 10 feet of the person they look away, look down or pretend they are reading something on their cell phone. Or if I say "hello" and I get ignored. I feel like raging.

and like today at a mcdonalds drive thru some fat chick at the window (not to be mean but whatever) asked me what kind of sauce I want with my nuggets and when I looked at her she quickly looks away with this expressionless face and when she gave me my order she didnt even say shit or look at me. i have developed such a complex that I don't know how to take things anymore. did she see my scars? am I that f*cking repulsive? shes no prize either! i felt like throwing my nuggets in her face stupid b*tch. heh

/rant

That's exactly what I was talking about, mate. biggrin.png Finally, I see that I'm not the only one with these problems. This is actually a reason, why I hate crowded areas or bigger crowded cities. If I go f.g. shopping, I'm humiliated not only once, but dozens time per day and that's what nobody deserves! It is just unfair to me. Sometimes I question myself, why do I have these problems? What have I done wrong in this life that I'm having such problems. I'm not talented for nothing, I'm not good in sports which I love, btw., I'm not good at faculty. So basically, I don't have a thing to compensate these acne. How do u compensate it?

you and I are like the same person, which sucks for you! lol I ask myself those same questions because I really am a good guy. I know total jerks who get more respect than I do. I have gone through different personalities in my life to try to find myself and compensate for having acne/scars and honestly I had the most luck with girls being the outspoken "I don't give a f*ck" guy but its a hard persona to keep up especially when its 100% fake. and I attracted psycho chicks. so if I die tomorrow at least I could say I got laid which to most dudes is no big deal. and believe me I'm ugly as hell its not like I'm bragging at all i'd trade my life away to be someone else in a heartbeat.

i'm not good at anything either, im not smart, talented, i suck at sports too, I cant really fight and usually get my ass kicked when I tried to defend myself in the past ( i love martial arts) , and i think way too much which makes me talk slowly because Im just not witty.

i dont know how to compensate anymore I ran out of personalities to test out. so now in days I'm just myself which is pretty much quiet guy who doesn't want to be bothered. im 31 now but feel like im 60 something on the verge of having a stroke because i stress myself out way too much.

I do (allegedly) smoke tho it makes me forget how lonely I am and I can enjoy a movie or video game. I dont recommend you do that tho heh.

keep in touch you seem like a cool dude. peace.

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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

with me its one of the two extremes either someone is staring at me (usually a dude) or I get completely ignored (usually females)

the worst for me is like passing someone by in an empty hallway and when I come withing 10 feet of the person they look away, look down or pretend they are reading something on their cell phone. Or if I say "hello" and I get ignored. I feel like raging.

and like today at a mcdonalds drive thru some fat chick at the window (not to be mean but whatever) asked me what kind of sauce I want with my nuggets and when I looked at her she quickly looks away with this expressionless face and when she gave me my order she didnt even say shit or look at me. i have developed such a complex that I don't know how to take things anymore. did she see my scars? am I that f*cking repulsive? shes no prize either! i felt like throwing my nuggets in her face stupid b*tch. heh

/rant

That's exactly what I was talking about, mate. biggrin.png Finally, I see that I'm not the only one with these problems. This is actually a reason, why I hate crowded areas or bigger crowded cities. If I go f.g. shopping, I'm humiliated not only once, but dozens time per day and that's what nobody deserves! It is just unfair to me. Sometimes I question myself, why do I have these problems? What have I done wrong in this life that I'm having such problems. I'm not talented for nothing, I'm not good in sports which I love, btw., I'm not good at faculty. So basically, I don't have a thing to compensate these acne. How do u compensate it?

you and I are like the same person, which sucks for you! lol I ask myself those same questions because I really am a good guy. I know total jerks who get more respect than I do. I have gone through different personalities in my life to try to find myself and compensate for having acne/scars and honestly I had the most luck with girls being the outspoken "I don't give a f*ck" guy but its a hard persona to keep up especially when its 100% fake. and I attracted psycho chicks. so if I die tomorrow at least I could say I got laid which to most dudes is no big deal. and believe me I'm ugly as hell its not like I'm bragging at all i'd trade my life away to be someone else in a heartbeat.

i'm not good at anything either, im not smart, talented, i suck at sports too, I cant really fight and usually get my ass kicked when I tried to defend myself in the past ( i love martial arts) , and i think way too much which makes me talk slowly because Im just not witty.

i dont know how to compensate anymore I ran out of personalities to test out. so now in days I'm just myself which is pretty much quiet guy who doesn't want to be bothered. im 31 now but feel like im 60 something on the verge of having a stroke because i stress myself out way too much.

I do (allegedly) smoke tho it makes me forget how lonely I am and I can enjoy a movie or video game. I dont recommend you do that tho heh.

keep in touch you seem like a cool dude. peace.

Yeah, I feel you, mate, I feel you. We have a lot of things in common as I can see hehe smile.png But unlike you I can't change my personality completly. I mean, at the start of a new conversation with a new person I'm very reserved, shy, nervous, but when I relax I can be very talkative aswell. I can listen to other people and I put myself in their situation, I'm very tolerant, but you know, girls don't like that. Girls like some "bad" boys, which I'm not, and I can't pretend to be a bad boy if I'm not. You know how they say: the worse a man treats a woman, more she loves him. I can't be like that. I'm not that kind of a person and that's the reason I'm not interesting to the females, you see? It's written in their subconscious mind allthough they will never admit it.

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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

with me its one of the two extremes either someone is staring at me (usually a dude) or I get completely ignored (usually females)

the worst for me is like passing someone by in an empty hallway and when I come withing 10 feet of the person they look away, look down or pretend they are reading something on their cell phone. Or if I say "hello" and I get ignored. I feel like raging.

and like today at a mcdonalds drive thru some fat chick at the window (not to be mean but whatever) asked me what kind of sauce I want with my nuggets and when I looked at her she quickly looks away with this expressionless face and when she gave me my order she didnt even say shit or look at me. i have developed such a complex that I don't know how to take things anymore. did she see my scars? am I that f*cking repulsive? shes no prize either! i felt like throwing my nuggets in her face stupid b*tch. heh

/rant

That's exactly what I was talking about, mate. biggrin.png Finally, I see that I'm not the only one with these problems. This is actually a reason, why I hate crowded areas or bigger crowded cities. If I go f.g. shopping, I'm humiliated not only once, but dozens time per day and that's what nobody deserves! It is just unfair to me. Sometimes I question myself, why do I have these problems? What have I done wrong in this life that I'm having such problems. I'm not talented for nothing, I'm not good in sports which I love, btw., I'm not good at faculty. So basically, I don't have a thing to compensate these acne. How do u compensate it?

you and I are like the same person, which sucks for you! lol I ask myself those same questions because I really am a good guy. I know total jerks who get more respect than I do. I have gone through different personalities in my life to try to find myself and compensate for having acne/scars and honestly I had the most luck with girls being the outspoken "I don't give a f*ck" guy but its a hard persona to keep up especially when its 100% fake. and I attracted psycho chicks. so if I die tomorrow at least I could say I got laid which to most dudes is no big deal. and believe me I'm ugly as hell its not like I'm bragging at all i'd trade my life away to be someone else in a heartbeat.

i'm not good at anything either, im not smart, talented, i suck at sports too, I cant really fight and usually get my ass kicked when I tried to defend myself in the past ( i love martial arts) , and i think way too much which makes me talk slowly because Im just not witty.

i dont know how to compensate anymore I ran out of personalities to test out. so now in days I'm just myself which is pretty much quiet guy who doesn't want to be bothered. im 31 now but feel like im 60 something on the verge of having a stroke because i stress myself out way too much.

I do (allegedly) smoke tho it makes me forget how lonely I am and I can enjoy a movie or video game. I dont recommend you do that tho heh.

keep in touch you seem like a cool dude. peace.

Yeah, I feel you, mate, I feel you. We have a lot of things in common as I can see hehe smile.png But unlike you I can't change my personality completly. I mean, at the start of a new conversation with a new person I'm very reserved, shy, nervous, but when I relax I can be very talkative aswell. I can listen to other people and I put myself in their situation, I'm very tolerant, but you know, girls don't like that. Girls like some "bad" boys, why I'm not, and I can't pretend to be a bad boy if I'm not. You know how they say: the worse a man threats a woman, more she loves him. I can't be like that. I'm not that kind of a person and that's the reason I'm not interesting to the females, you see? It's written in their subconscious mind allthout they will never admit it.

agree 100% although I have so much hate inside that the whole "bad boy" personality isn't too far from the real me.

being shy, nervous and reserved as a dude is basically sexual suicide (not sure if that term exsists but you know what I mean I think) . no girl wants that, sucks but its true from what I've learned.

everyone I work with is married and almost all those dudes have bragged about how they have cheated on their wife. sucks man.

personally I have to "change personalities" because I have been conditioned to hate myself so my real personality has become quiet and distant. nobody likes that period let alone girls and I do have to function and do stuff like go to work so whenever I smile or have a convo with someone throughout the day its 100% fake.

i'm sure we'll figure it out bro, hopefully sooner than later!

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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

with me its one of the two extremes either someone is staring at me (usually a dude) or I get completely ignored (usually females)

the worst for me is like passing someone by in an empty hallway and when I come withing 10 feet of the person they look away, look down or pretend they are reading something on their cell phone. Or if I say "hello" and I get ignored. I feel like raging.

and like today at a mcdonalds drive thru some fat chick at the window (not to be mean but whatever) asked me what kind of sauce I want with my nuggets and when I looked at her she quickly looks away with this expressionless face and when she gave me my order she didnt even say shit or look at me. i have developed such a complex that I don't know how to take things anymore. did she see my scars? am I that f*cking repulsive? shes no prize either! i felt like throwing my nuggets in her face stupid b*tch. heh

/rant

I realize that might suck, but like I said above, keep in mind that people do this ALL the time to regular people who don't have acne. People are just antisocial as shit especially since the Internet took over our lives. I see people avoid eye contact with just about anyone all of the time. Probably at least half of society has some sort of social phobia. Don't assume it's even about you. The same goes for people being rude at fast food restaurants. Normal, even beautiful, people get that sort of treatment all the time. It's only when you have something you're insecure about that you assume that's the reason. Most people just assume the person is an asshole.

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Current Skin-Care Regimen (A work in progress):

Morning:

Gentle wash with DKR cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil (The lotion alone wasn't hydrating enough)

Skin 79 Korean BB Cream (excellent stuff)

Evening:

Gentle Wash with DKR Cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil


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Interesting, I have a different situation than you guys. When I appear in public places, people don't stare at me, but instead, they don't look at me, they ignore me, they avoid eye contact, they look away when I move past them, because I'm so ugly. This has done me a lot of damage on my self esteem. I feel less worthy, not accepted, lonely.

I think there is nothing wrong if someone is staring at your son. If they're staring at him, let them stare, let them mind their own business, just move past those people that are not worthy of your/his attention. If a girl is staring at your son, perhaps she even likes him. wink.png

What you should be aware of is that if you son is being ignored by his friends at school because the ignorance ruins people relationship easily. wink.png

You're worried because you don't get attention by others? My problem is that i get too much attention by others but because of all the wrong reasons! And believe me,getting no attention is far better than getting "wrong" attention. wink.png

Yes, I get like zero attention and I mean it really ZERO. I don't agree with you. I'll give you an example. You see a hot girl across the street. She is staring at you, because she wants you to notice her and because you like her. In my case, when she notices and sees me, she'll look away all the way until I'm past her when I'm crossing the street. I guess you look somehow cool and other people feel this. wink.png

with me its one of the two extremes either someone is staring at me (usually a dude) or I get completely ignored (usually females)

the worst for me is like passing someone by in an empty hallway and when I come withing 10 feet of the person they look away, look down or pretend they are reading something on their cell phone. Or if I say "hello" and I get ignored. I feel like raging.

and like today at a mcdonalds drive thru some fat chick at the window (not to be mean but whatever) asked me what kind of sauce I want with my nuggets and when I looked at her she quickly looks away with this expressionless face and when she gave me my order she didnt even say shit or look at me. i have developed such a complex that I don't know how to take things anymore. did she see my scars? am I that f*cking repulsive? shes no prize either! i felt like throwing my nuggets in her face stupid b*tch. heh

/rant

That's exactly what I was talking about, mate. biggrin.png Finally, I see that I'm not the only one with these problems. This is actually a reason, why I hate crowded areas or bigger crowded cities. If I go f.g. shopping, I'm humiliated not only once, but dozens time per day and that's what nobody deserves! It is just unfair to me. Sometimes I question myself, why do I have these problems? What have I done wrong in this life that I'm having such problems. I'm not talented for nothing, I'm not good in sports which I love, btw., I'm not good at faculty. So basically, I don't have a thing to compensate these acne. How do u compensate it?

you and I are like the same person, which sucks for you! lol I ask myself those same questions because I really am a good guy. I know total jerks who get more respect than I do. I have gone through different personalities in my life to try to find myself and compensate for having acne/scars and honestly I had the most luck with girls being the outspoken "I don't give a f*ck" guy but its a hard persona to keep up especially when its 100% fake. and I attracted psycho chicks. so if I die tomorrow at least I could say I got laid which to most dudes is no big deal. and believe me I'm ugly as hell its not like I'm bragging at all i'd trade my life away to be someone else in a heartbeat.

i'm not good at anything either, im not smart, talented, i suck at sports too, I cant really fight and usually get my ass kicked when I tried to defend myself in the past ( i love martial arts) , and i think way too much which makes me talk slowly because Im just not witty.

i dont know how to compensate anymore I ran out of personalities to test out. so now in days I'm just myself which is pretty much quiet guy who doesn't want to be bothered. im 31 now but feel like im 60 something on the verge of having a stroke because i stress myself out way too much.

I do (allegedly) smoke tho it makes me forget how lonely I am and I can enjoy a movie or video game. I dont recommend you do that tho heh.

keep in touch you seem like a cool dude. peace.

Yeah, I feel you, mate, I feel you. We have a lot of things in common as I can see hehe smile.png But unlike you I can't change my personality completly. I mean, at the start of a new conversation with a new person I'm very reserved, shy, nervous, but when I relax I can be very talkative aswell. I can listen to other people and I put myself in their situation, I'm very tolerant, but you know, girls don't like that. Girls like some "bad" boys, which I'm not, and I can't pretend to be a bad boy if I'm not. You know how they say: the worse a man treats a woman, more she loves him. I can't be like that. I'm not that kind of a person and that's the reason I'm not interesting to the females, you see? It's written in their subconscious mind allthough they will never admit it.

hey reading our conversation again I realized you were asking for advice and all I did was ramble about myself. sorry about that. I honestly don't know how to help you because like I mentioned before you and I are very similar. I am here if you want to talk tho bro. feel free to message me if you like. peace.

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D: I understand. I wear makeup, and although my acne isn't as bad as it could be, I'm always scared that without my makeup I will be treated differently/stared at.

I work at a fast food place, and there's a lot of people who order that are teens/adults that have acne. I always try to make a point to look in their eyes. I hate when you're talking to someone, and you can see their eyes shifting all over your face.

Sometimes, though, the customer doesn't make eye contact with me because they are embarrassed. I wish they knew I can totally relate. When I see someone with really severe acne, particularly a girl my age without makeup, I envy her confidence because I can't even go out without makeup.

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Thanks everyone for the responses- they have helped me feel a little better about this. At least I know my son isn't the only person who gets stared at! LOL :D

Sorry I haven't replied until now. Haven't been on the forums much lately. My son is doing better, he is now in month 4 and his face is way better, pretty much almost all clear. It's the body acne that is taking forever to heal. But he's not exactly halfway through his treatment yet, so I'm trying to be patient.

Some of your responses were very amusing to me- not making fun of anybody, but again, it was nice to see that other people deal with rude, or emotionally challenged people in public. Also, my son is always thinking people are staring at him- so maybe he's paranoid? LOL . But that day, I did actually witness that guy staring at him, and like some of you have said, it might have been for a different reason (kinda doubt it though). Maybe he was a pedophile? Or maybe he recognized him? In any event, I didn't like it and it made us both very uncomfortable. But yes, I know that other people, even beautiful, acne-free people get ignored or treated badly by strangers.

thanks again guys, and take care! And anyone else who might have a humorous (or not) anecdote to share about being stared at, please do! :)

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Stares in public are the worst. Unfortunately it's not just the younger generation, either. I've seen many (if not more) older people gawking as if I'm some circus attraction.

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