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Feeling So Ugly/ Nose Job

body image ugly nose self-harm suicide depression self-esteem

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#21 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 10:54 AM

Although I've never harmed myself, I do know what it feels like to hate yourself utterly and how difficult it is to escape from such feelings.  I disliked myself before I suddenly developed acne, so after that point I am pretty such where you are mentally.  I am afraid I cannot give any advice as to how to get out of the depression, as I have not found a way myself, but I hope it makes you feel a little better to know that you're not weird or crazy and that other people can understand.  I know how hard it is to try to talk about it with others because they never really seem to grasp that fact that you can't just talk yourself out of it—that you can try and try to look at yourself differently and to appreciate good things in your life, but that you lose the ability to be happy or content with anything when you get sucked into this dark place.  It's a scary situation, without a doubt, and I know that I feel very powerless.

I am very sorry to hear that your family and those around you are making your insecurities worse. sad.png  It really is true that people often make themselves feel better by pointing out "flaws" in others, or that it's done out of jealousy for something about the person.  It's sometimes more about eliciting a response than that there's actually anything "wrong" with their target.  On the other hand, I've found that family and friends sometimes say mean things in a misguided attempt to be funny or to provoke a reaction.  I think they don't realise just how fragile we can be about certain features or aspects of ourselves and may not realise just how much it impacts our self-perception.  Either way, it's hard.

It's very brave of you to go to a therapist and to open yourself up here.  I really hope you can find someone in your life or online who will be understanding and accepting and not exacerbate your negative feelings.  Like the others here said, you're genuinely very pretty.  Even when my skin is clear, I don't have your nice facial features, so it makes me extra sad to see you feeling so depressed about yourself.  I think you've fallen into the trap of fixating on things you don't like about yourself and now that's the only thing you see; however, the truth is that the way we see ourselves, especially if we have body dysmorphic disorder, is inherently flawed.  I know it's hard to make yourself believe something your eyes think is not true—which is my problem, as I put a lot of faith in my reason and senses--but we can deceive ourselves.

And even though I have trouble following this advice, try to avoid mirrors!  I sometimes think of all the time I've wasted obsessing over how ugly I look and fearing to leave the house and I then feel a bit embarrassed about it because I could have been doing something constructive in that time.  But when there's a mirror it's like a spell has been cast and I just can't look away!  Don't think of the mirror as a teller of truth, for it is a trickster!  Try not to let it get inside your head.

   

(Funny you mention noses because I have always despised mine and been very depressed about it, but someone at work called it "cute" the other day, which totally threw me because of how innocently honest the comment was.  People really can like features you think are hideous!)

 

I would suggest that you keep talking about your feelings to your therapist and on here and to any good friends you have who do understand because it's good not to be ashamed of your feelings or to hide from them.  I hope you can find things to focus on in life that distract you from overanalysing yourself.  Hobbies or work or school or anything that can give you focus and take you out of your own head, so to speak.  I'm not a big believer in hoping, but I know that works well for some people.  You will know what works for you.   Being stubborn is what does it for me. smile.png

 

And I am so sorry for running on and on; I've always been long-winded!

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to write these kind words and sharing your experiences. You are so sweet! <3 Thank you for understanding. It's really frustrating when people who have no idea what depression is like tell me I need to snap out of it, that I have so many things in my life to be grateful for- like it's that simple. It really is a scary situation. I know most people are trying to be helpful, but it just furthers the shame I have felt.

 

I agree with what you said about family and friends. I don't think they're usually trying to be cruel, they just don't realize how insecure I am. Either way, it still hurts. I wish they would be more sensitive.

 

I totally understand. I never seem to believe others' compliments. I only know what I see, and what I see I don't like. You really are so beautiful. And your nose is really cute! I was actually shocked to hear you dislike your nose. It's perfect!

 

I really do need to avoid mirrors more. What great advice! I just need to actually start doing it, which is definitely harder.

 

You really are so kind. Thank you for the advice and talking time to write this. I hope things look up for you as well. XXX



i think you're really really pretty.  I too am stuck in depression town.  

Thank you!! wub.png I'm sorry you're feeling depressed too. :(

 

Firstly, i am sorry of your situation, i know that there are a lot of people on here that are going through what you are currently going through. Although I have also read some really great stories about these people getting on with their lives and making the most of it their deck. Secondly, you are very pretty, i was kind of shocked  to be honest!

 

I am no expert on this, but there are people here^^^^who can help and who you can talk to. 

 

Ps: I would tell your sister boyfriend to chew on a big one also smile.png

 

All the best 

Thank you so much!! And yes, I should. He's such a jerk.

 

As time goes on, you'll realise that you'll never be 100% happy with your looks.  That's human nature.  We just need to find a way to make peace with what we have.  I personally would not recommend a nosre job based on other people's perception of your looks.  You  never know what the end result might be like and it's surgery that is uneccessary.

 

If you do it, do it for you!  You may want to look into body dysmorphic disorder - i think a lot of us, especially women, have some form of this

 

Good Look Girl!  You are gorgeous inside and out

Thank you!! I hope I can make peace with my body. Wishing the best to you! :)



#22 readytosmileagain

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 11:00 AM

okay lovely, I have some words for you...

 

If you got a nose job, you wouldnt look unique in this beautiful, kind of exotic way that you do... If you got a nose job, you would look ordinary and like other girls and that might be what you think you need right now but trust me, having a unique look like you do is so so so much better than being, ordinary. 

 

You have qualities about you ALOT of girls would LOVE to have.. you have an amazing skin tone, beautiful hair and I really love your nose! And ofcourse your eyes are stunning!! You are VERY beautiful, and i promise you, im not just saying that because you are having a hard time right now. 

 

I am half Italian so ALOT of women in my family have had their noses done... my cousin is the most recent, getting hers done months before her wedding day.

When my dad saw her for the first time he said to me, she had such a unique look before - true to her heritage - and now, well it looks nice, but she doesnt look like her and she looks a lot more plain Jane.... and once I saw her, he was right. It was pretty, she looked more like the model in the magazine but it was just like everyone else...  

 

You are beautiful, enjoy your clear amazing skin and separate yourself from those who make you feel like you need to change who you are.  I too took accutane for my acne and I will be honest, my down days out number my good days... your depression is taking over and you cant help but want to do ANYTHING to change that... my advice, do something you have always wanted to do - something new.... start volunteering at a animal shelter, meet new people at a new place... start fresh and get away from the negative. If you have family that thinks you need to change, its time to remove yourself from always being around then until you can feel like yourself again. My thought is they are just trying to agree with you to make you happy (about the nose job)... im sure they love you and think you are beautiful... but until you know it yourself, NO ONE, not your mom, sister, sisters boyfriend, etc can help you. SO ITS TIME TO START SOMETHING NEW and meet new people and come out of your comfort zone just a little to get healthy and happy

 

We are here for you, always! 



#23 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 11:02 AM

Ugh, I've felt so down on myself lately. I feel so ugly all the time, and it's not just my skin that's bothering me. I hate pretty much everything about the way I look. My nose is HUGE and bulbous and it's crooked, and I really want to get a nose job, but it's so expensive, and I'm worried about what effect it would have on my skin. Even my mom and one of my friends thinks I need a nose job, and my sister's boyfriend likes to make subtle comments about how huge and ugly my nose is. Plus, my face is really asymmetrical, to the point that it's really obvious. I had juvenile arthritis that caused jaw problems, and it's caused my face to develop kind of weird, so my face is kind of crooked. One side of my face is bigger than the other, and my right eye is smaller than my left and is kind of lazy. My eyebrows are too thin and low-set. My eyes are too small, and I look disgusting without makeup. My lips are too small. My thighs are ginormous, and I'm super flabby. I went from 130 lbs at 5'7 to 105, and now I have no muscle. I have stretch marks. My breasts are too small, and they too are very different sizes (sorry). I'm even insecure about my freaking labia!! (Sorry again). I just don't know what to do. I went through a really tough time in November, and I'm afraid all of the progress I've made is going down the drain. I made a suicide attempt in November and was sent to a psychiatric hospital to be treated for depression and self-harm. My therapist there said she had never seen a patient which such severe/so many cuts. I have to wear long sleeves all of the time because my scars are so bad. I just really hate myself. Sorry to rant, and for sharing such personal information, but I really, really need support right now.

 

You are beautiful. PLEASE don't mess up your lovely nose! I used to want a nose job too but I eventually learned to like my nose and now I'm so thankful that I never let some money-hungry "doctor" hack away at my individuality! There is nothing wrong with your nose. It isn't unnaturally big or weird and these people who make fun of you for it are insecure and ABUSIVE little fuckheads. You would be better off staying away from people like that.

 

I've also struggled with cutting so I totally understand. And I have the whole crooked jaw thing which drives me crazy also. sad.png But it's definitely not very noticeable to other people. Mine is really obvious to the point that I look different depending on which side you are looking at me, but it doesn't really matter. A lot of people are nice looking, but you have a look that many women would envy.

You are so sweet, thank you! Gosh, I'm shocked that you ever disliked your nose, you're so beautiful! And I've definitely never noticed the jaw thing.

 

It really sucks that I hated myself so much that I cut myself. I'm so sorry you struggled with this too. It's really rough, and it took me a long time to stop. I hope this time it is for good. I cut on and off for five years. Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it! <3

 

Ugh, I've felt so down on myself lately. I feel so ugly all the time, and it's not just my skin that's bothering me. I hate pretty much everything about the way I look. My nose is HUGE and bulbous and it's crooked, and I really want to get a nose job, but it's so expensive, and I'm worried about what effect it would have on my skin. Even my mom and one of my friends thinks I need a nose job, and my sister's boyfriend likes to make subtle comments about how huge and ugly my nose is. Plus, my face is really asymmetrical, to the point that it's really obvious. I had juvenile arthritis that caused jaw problems, and it's caused my face to develop kind of weird, so my face is kind of crooked. One side of my face is bigger than the other, and my right eye is smaller than my left and is kind of lazy. My eyebrows are too thin and low-set. My eyes are too small, and I look disgusting without makeup. My lips are too small. My thighs are ginormous, and I'm super flabby. I went from 130 lbs at 5'7 to 105, and now I have no muscle. I have stretch marks. My breasts are too small, and they too are very different sizes (sorry). I'm even insecure about my freaking labia!! (Sorry again). I just don't know what to do. I went through a really tough time in November, and I'm afraid all of the progress I've made is going down the drain. I made a suicide attempt in November and was sent to a psychiatric hospital to be treated for depression and self-harm. My therapist there said she had never seen a patient which such severe/so many cuts. I have to wear long sleeves all of the time because my scars are so bad. I just really hate myself. Sorry to rant, and for sharing such personal information, but I really, really need support right now.

 

 

I just want to say that look like Scarlet Johansson. Has anyone told you that? You are really pretty! Believe me, I am telling you the truth! There is nothing wrong wit your nose/face. Your nose is actually unique in a beautiful way. We are here for you! XOXO!

Gosh, what a sweet compliment! Thank you! I've never hear that, but I'm told A LOT that I look like Lady Gaga. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've also been told I look like Phoebe from "Friends," Stevie Nicks when she was young, and, ugh, Chelsea Clinton o.O. I don't think I look like any of them. I would love to look like Scarlett Johansson though. She is sooo beautiful.



#24 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 11:18 AM

Your nose is kind of large but it suits you. I don't know what you mean about the asymmetry. In any case, you're a very beautiful girl.

 

Your post reminds me of something someone who's had a lot of relationship experience once said namely that the greater a woman's beauty the more insecure she is about her looks. Don't know if that's true but you're definately very beautiful and you're definately very insecure.


_____________________________________________________________________________________
 

Why isn't she a 10/10 in your eyes then? lol.gif

 

I'm basically just messing with you. Your post was/is well meant.

 

lol girl coming from a decent looking male here you look perfectly fine, hot even. 9/10. The accutane is messing with your emotions. Don't take it again. Try and stay clear through diet changes instead.

Thank you. And yes, it is kind of big, lol. And I am insecure. I definitely need to work on that.

 

I think you are suffering from BDD. I looked at your post Accutane pictures and not only does your skin look PERFECT (not even kidding, I'm jealous) but you are a VERY pretty girl. Your nose is not 'bulbous', it is perfectly fine. You have very big, beautiful blue eyes and very pretty hair and skin. Honestly, I can think of a TON of guys who would think you were cute, hot, beautiful, etc. I'm telling you, this is all in your head. You should definitely seek therapy and maybe consider anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds before you get any plastic surgery done. People with BDD often turn to plastic surgery as a solution, but not only does this fuel their obsession, they are often even more depressed after the surgery. PLEASE think about this and get help before you get a nose job.

 

You are beautiful and I hope you realize that one day.

Thank you, thank you! You're a sweetheart! wub.png  I realize you're probably right. I used to obsess over my acne, and I thought that once I got rid of it I would feel good about myself. Boy, I was wrong. I just found other things to fixate on. Again, thank you!

 

Hey sorry you're feeling so crappy. I too know how it feels to look in the mirror and hate every little thing, pick out each perceived flaw. But seriously, it is all in your (and our) heads. We pick ourselves apart and it just adds to the frustration. You're a beautiful girl. It really is a waste of time, energy, and overall life to fixate on tiny things that in the grande scheme of things, do not matter. Don't waste the time or money on a nose job. You'll feel the exact same afterwards. Its not an issue of appearance, its an issue of attitude and depression it seems like to me. You'll be so much happier if you can learn to accept yourself for exactly how you are, right now. I know that is easier said than done. I know exactly how you're feeling, you're not alone. I'm two years clean from self harm and I thank my therapist for that, but also myself. I put in a lot of work into accepting myself and now I really focus on improving my inner self and qualities, and my appearance follows suit. I don't look perfect and there are still things I don't like about my appearance but they don't carry as much weight anymore. My advice would be to see your therapist. I know talking can be super hard so I often write down what I'm feeling instead. Then she can read it and its easier to open the door for discussion. Also surround yourself only with people who lift you up. Friends who concentrate on who you are as a person, not what you look like. People who place less importance on their appearance as well. I hope you feel better soon!

Thank you so much! This is such great advice. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and that you know what I'm feeling right now. You're right that it probably really isn't about appearance. I really hope to make peace with myself. I'm so glad to hear you've successfully overcome cutting, and two years clean, that's incredible! I've only been clean for six months, and it hasn't entirely been by choice, but I'm glad I've stopped. I still have a lot of urges, which kind of scares me. I don't want to go back to that dark place. That's such a great idea to write down your feelings. Probably the greatest hurdle I've faced in therapy is opening up and feeling comfortable enough to talk about my feelings. Thank you for talking to me! <3



#25 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 11:38 AM

yea I saw this post this morning and didn't know what to type because Flagg basically summed it all up. All the positive support everyone is giving you is pretty awesome tho and true. Your trippin. Just two things.

 

I love your eyes.

 

Your sisters bf sounds like a douche.

Aw, thank you!! wub.png

 

He is totally a douche. :P

 

OMG your a very gorjass girl don't let anyone else tell yu different and their is nothing wrong with your nose, honestly. you just need to really open your eyes and see that you are a beautiful young girl who has all her life ahead of her. please be happy and enjoy life coz yu never know when yur goin to die

lots of love from me xxx

Thank you so much, you're sooo sweet!

 

Girl, you are stunning! Seriously, STUNNING! Your skin looks so amazing post-accutane. I can't believe you ever had acne with that beautiful skin! I honestly think you're prettier than your sis. Maybe her boyfriend makes comments because he secretly wants you? Haha! I totally understand where you're coming from feeling ugly all the time, but let me assure you that you have nothing to worry about. I'm really glad you're feeling better today, and I hope you continue to do so. Take care and lots of hugs! 

Gosh, thank you!! wub.png  You have no idea how amazing it feels to read this. My sister is always praised for her beauty, and she gets a lot of attention from guys. Plus, she's already had six boyfriends, two of which have been long term, and I've had none. :( What makes it even worse is that we're fraternal twins, so we're always being compared. I can't help but feel like the ugly sister. Her boyfriend is kind of a jerk. He's even mean to her, and he constantly criticizes her body. It makes me so sad.

 

okay lovely, I have some words for you...

 

If you got a nose job, you wouldnt look unique in this beautiful, kind of exotic way that you do... If you got a nose job, you would look ordinary and like other girls and that might be what you think you need right now but trust me, having a unique look like you do is so so so much better than being, ordinary. 

 

You have qualities about you ALOT of girls would LOVE to have.. you have an amazing skin tone, beautiful hair and I really love your nose! And ofcourse your eyes are stunning!! You are VERY beautiful, and i promise you, im not just saying that because you are having a hard time right now. 

 

I am half Italian so ALOT of women in my family have had their noses done... my cousin is the most recent, getting hers done months before her wedding day.

When my dad saw her for the first time he said to me, she had such a unique look before - true to her heritage - and now, well it looks nice, but she doesnt look like her and she looks a lot more plain Jane.... and once I saw her, he was right. It was pretty, she looked more like the model in the magazine but it was just like everyone else...  

 

You are beautiful, enjoy your clear amazing skin and separate yourself from those who make you feel like you need to change who you are.  I too took accutane for my acne and I will be honest, my down days out number my good days... your depression is taking over and you cant help but want to do ANYTHING to change that... my advice, do something you have always wanted to do - something new.... start volunteering at a animal shelter, meet new people at a new place... start fresh and get away from the negative. If you have family that thinks you need to change, its time to remove yourself from always being around then until you can feel like yourself again. My thought is they are just trying to agree with you to make you happy (about the nose job)... im sure they love you and think you are beautiful... but until you know it yourself, NO ONE, not your mom, sister, sisters boyfriend, etc can help you. SO ITS TIME TO START SOMETHING NEW and meet new people and come out of your comfort zone just a little to get healthy and happy

 

We are here for you, always! 

You have no idea how touching this is. It kind of made me tear up. You've made me start to think twice about getting a nose job. Your story about your cousin... Wow, she sounded so beautiful before. I think you nailed it when you said I want to look like all the other girls, like the ones I see at school and in movies and magazines. Maybe conformity isn't so great after all. What an amazing perspective you have.

 

You're right, I do need to get away from the negativity. It seems like I'm around toxic people all the time. It makes me feel bad about myself. You have given me such wonderful advice. I am grateful to you. You are a lovely person. Again, thank you so very much. I wish the very best to you! XXX <3



When i read your post ,i started typing my reply imagining a girl with a big bulbous nose (as mentioned by you).But then something made me go through your gallery.And i was really shocked.You were beautiful.You'd probably fare as one of the hottest girls in my college.You are being too hard on yourself.You are young,very young indeed.You should stop being so self-obsessed.Narcissism in girls ultimately makes them vain when they become older.You don't want vanity as an attribute.Do you? Learn to love yourself.Spend time pursuing your passion instead of constantly looking in the mirror and criticizing yourself.If possible ,refrain from using Accutane.My dad is a neurologist and we have often discussed how Accutane messes up with your brain and can lead to depression .It causes hormonal anarchy in your body.It's perhaps the Accutane which is enveloping you in a cloud of negativity.

 

You will blossom into a beautiful lady one day.Keep smiling till then smile.png

Wow, thank you! You are so sweet!! wub.png I definitely don't want to be vain. I hope to learn to love myself. Thank you for your kind words and advice!!



#26 meowza

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 11:39 AM

 

Your nose is kind of large but it suits you. I don't know what you mean about the asymmetry. In any case, you're a very beautiful girl.

 

Your post reminds me of something someone who's had a lot of relationship experience once said namely that the greater a woman's beauty the more insecure she is about her looks. Don't know if that's true but you're definately very beautiful and you're definately very insecure.


_____________________________________________________________________________________
 

Why isn't she a 10/10 in your eyes then? lol.gif

 

I'm basically just messing with you. Your post was/is well meant.

 

lol girl coming from a decent looking male here you look perfectly fine, hot even. 9/10. The accutane is messing with your emotions. Don't take it again. Try and stay clear through diet changes instead.

Thank you. And yes, it is kind of big, lol. And I am insecure. I definitely need to work on that.

 

>I think you are suffering from BDD. I looked at your post Accutane pictures and not only does your skin look PERFECT (not even kidding, I'm jealous) but you are a VERY pretty girl. Your nose is not 'bulbous', it is perfectly fine. You have very big, beautiful blue eyes and very pretty hair and skin. Honestly, I can think of a TON of guys who would think you were cute, hot, beautiful, etc. I'm telling you, this is all in your head. You should definitely seek therapy and maybe consider anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds before you get any plastic surgery done. People with BDD often turn to plastic surgery as a solution, but not only does this fuel their obsession, they are often even more depressed after the surgery. PLEASE think about this and get help before you get a nose job.

 

You are beautiful and I hope you realize that one day.

Thank you, thank you! You're a sweetheart! wub.png  I realize you're probably right. I used to obsess over my acne, and I thought that once I got rid of it I would feel good about myself. Boy, I was wrong. I just found other things to fixate on. Again, thank you!

 

Hey sorry you're feeling so crappy. I too know how it feels to look in the mirror and hate every little thing, pick out each perceived flaw. But seriously, it is all in your (and our) heads. We pick ourselves apart and it just adds to the frustration. You're a beautiful girl. It really is a waste of time, energy, and overall life to fixate on tiny things that in the grande scheme of things, do not matter. Don't waste the time or money on a nose job. You'll feel the exact same afterwards. Its not an issue of appearance, its an issue of attitude and depression it seems like to me. You'll be so much happier if you can learn to accept yourself for exactly how you are, right now. I know that is easier said than done. I know exactly how you're feeling, you're not alone. I'm two years clean from self harm and I thank my therapist for that, but also myself. I put in a lot of work into accepting myself and now I really focus on improving my inner self and qualities, and my appearance follows suit. I don't look perfect and there are still things I don't like about my appearance but they don't carry as much weight anymore. My advice would be to see your therapist. I know talking can be super hard so I often write down what I'm feeling instead. Then she can read it and its easier to open the door for discussion. Also surround yourself only with people who lift you up. Friends who concentrate on who you are as a person, not what you look like. People who place less importance on their appearance as well. I hope you feel better soon!

Thank you so much! This is such great advice. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and that you know what I'm feeling right now. You're right that it probably really isn't about appearance. I really hope to make peace with myself. I'm so glad to hear you've successfully overcome cutting, and two years clean, that's incredible! I've only been clean for six months, and it hasn't entirely been by choice, but I'm glad I've stopped. I still have a lot of urges, which kind of scares me. I don't want to go back to that dark place. That's such a great idea to write down your feelings. Probably the greatest hurdle I've faced in therapy is opening up and feeling comfortable enough to talk about my feelings. Thank you for talking to me! <3

 

 

Hey 6 months is amazing! At first I didn't stop for myself either. I stopped because my roommates and friends were starting to suffer because of it and the therapist was all like "blah, blah, blah you've got to make a change". And at first it was hard, and I had no coping strategies, and everything still sucked. But eventually, and slowly... other things started to overshadow the dark thoughts and the sun shone through and things started to look up. Classes were important again and I started finding it easier to vent to friends instead of hiding in my room. Finding friends who can act as a strong support system is super important. Things I found super helpful and some sound stupid were spending time in the sunshine (I know, it sounds weird, especially when people like us are usually stuck in long sleeves and pants) but the literal sunshine really helped me. I started spending time at my local SPCA walking dogs and it gave me such a good feeling to spend some time with some animals. They needed the love I had to give and I needed the love they had to give! Plus the light exercise really helped as well. And of course, my therapist, it really does help to talk things out because sometimes people like us can be a little delusional and have a hard time seeing things in other ways besides black and white. I found an antidepressant that worked for me and after a year, I didn't need it anymore. I won't lie though, I still think about it sometimes. The thought will invade when something hard happens and it is sometimes the first thing I think of to do. But now I've got a support system that can help me talk things out and find some other ways to get out the bad energy besides taking it out on myself. We are better than that and we deserve to be happy. Sorry for the long reply, I just wanted to let you know that even if it seems SO hard right now, it doesn't mean tomorrow isn't the day where things will turn the corner. I really hope things get amazing again really soon for you :)



#27 readytosmileagain

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 11:49 AM

You are so right - Conformity isnt so great!!!!!  

 

You have a look that sets you apart from everyone else. Dont question your unique beauty, find a way to get to a place within yourself where you can embrace it!!

 

It will take time but you WILL get there. Today, your first step was to write this post and get feedback from this community that GETS YOU... that was a huge step FORWARD. Keep moving in that direction and when the negative thoughts get the best of you, go to a playground and swing on some swings or put a mind-numbing show on TV (like some sort of reality show hehe) and keep yourself moving in the direction you, deep down inside, YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO GO... Things will get better! It will - You have a lot to be thankful for and im sure when you have those few moments of clarity, you see that! Lets get you to a place where you can feel those few moments every single day! 

 

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Edited by readytosmileagain, 28 May 2013 - 11:51 AM.


#28 AmbitiousOne

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 05:58 PM

 

Ugh, I've felt so down on myself lately. I feel so ugly all the time, and it's not just my skin that's bothering me. I hate pretty much everything about the way I look. My nose is HUGE and bulbous and it's crooked, and I really want to get a nose job, but it's so expensive, and I'm worried about what effect it would have on my skin. Even my mom and one of my friends thinks I need a nose job, and my sister's boyfriend likes to make subtle comments about how huge and ugly my nose is. Plus, my face is really asymmetrical, to the point that it's really obvious. I had juvenile arthritis that caused jaw problems, and it's caused my face to develop kind of weird, so my face is kind of crooked. One side of my face is bigger than the other, and my right eye is smaller than my left and is kind of lazy. My eyebrows are too thin and low-set. My eyes are too small, and I look disgusting without makeup. My lips are too small. My thighs are ginormous, and I'm super flabby. I went from 130 lbs at 5'7 to 105, and now I have no muscle. I have stretch marks. My breasts are too small, and they too are very different sizes (sorry). I'm even insecure about my freaking labia!! (Sorry again). I just don't know what to do. I went through a really tough time in November, and I'm afraid all of the progress I've made is going down the drain. I made a suicide attempt in November and was sent to a psychiatric hospital to be treated for depression and self-harm. My therapist there said she had never seen a patient which such severe/so many cuts. I have to wear long sleeves all of the time because my scars are so bad. I just really hate myself. Sorry to rant, and for sharing such personal information, but I really, really need support right now.

 

You are beautiful. PLEASE don't mess up your lovely nose! I used to want a nose job too but I eventually learned to like my nose and now I'm so thankful that I never let some money-hungry "doctor" hack away at my individuality! There is nothing wrong with your nose. It isn't unnaturally big or weird and these people who make fun of you for it are insecure and ABUSIVE little fuckheads. You would be better off staying away from people like that.

 

I've also struggled with cutting so I totally understand. And I have the whole crooked jaw thing which drives me crazy also. sad.png But it's definitely not very noticeable to other people. Mine is really obvious to the point that I look different depending on which side you are looking at me, but it doesn't really matter. A lot of people are nice looking, but you have a look that many women would envy.

You are so sweet, thank you! Gosh, I'm shocked that you ever disliked your nose, you're so beautiful! And I've definitely never noticed the jaw thing.

 

It really sucks that I hated myself so much that I cut myself. I'm so sorry you struggled with this too. It's really rough, and it took me a long time to stop. I hope this time it is for good. I cut on and off for five years. Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it! <3

 

Ugh, I've felt so down on myself lately. I feel so ugly all the time, and it's not just my skin that's bothering me. I hate pretty much everything about the way I look. My nose is HUGE and bulbous and it's crooked, and I really want to get a nose job, but it's so expensive, and I'm worried about what effect it would have on my skin. Even my mom and one of my friends thinks I need a nose job, and my sister's boyfriend likes to make subtle comments about how huge and ugly my nose is. Plus, my face is really asymmetrical, to the point that it's really obvious. I had juvenile arthritis that caused jaw problems, and it's caused my face to develop kind of weird, so my face is kind of crooked. One side of my face is bigger than the other, and my right eye is smaller than my left and is kind of lazy. My eyebrows are too thin and low-set. My eyes are too small, and I look disgusting without makeup. My lips are too small. My thighs are ginormous, and I'm super flabby. I went from 130 lbs at 5'7 to 105, and now I have no muscle. I have stretch marks. My breasts are too small, and they too are very different sizes (sorry). I'm even insecure about my freaking labia!! (Sorry again). I just don't know what to do. I went through a really tough time in November, and I'm afraid all of the progress I've made is going down the drain. I made a suicide attempt in November and was sent to a psychiatric hospital to be treated for depression and self-harm. My therapist there said she had never seen a patient which such severe/so many cuts. I have to wear long sleeves all of the time because my scars are so bad. I just really hate myself. Sorry to rant, and for sharing such personal information, but I really, really need support right now.

 

 

I just want to say that look like Scarlet Johansson. Has anyone told you that? You are really pretty! Believe me, I am telling you the truth! There is nothing wrong wit your nose/face. Your nose is actually unique in a beautiful way. We are here for you! XOXO!

Gosh, what a sweet compliment! Thank you! I've never hear that, but I'm told A LOT that I look like Lady Gaga. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've also been told I look like Phoebe from "Friends," Stevie Nicks when she was young, and, ugh, Chelsea Clinton o.O. I don't think I look like any of them. I would love to look like Scarlett Johansson though. She is sooo beautiful.

 

 

 

Yep, lady! YOU DO look like Scarlett! She is beautiful, just like you :) XOXO!



#29 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 30 May 2013 - 10:04 PM

 

 

Your nose is kind of large but it suits you. I don't know what you mean about the asymmetry. In any case, you're a very beautiful girl.

 

Your post reminds me of something someone who's had a lot of relationship experience once said namely that the greater a woman's beauty the more insecure she is about her looks. Don't know if that's true but you're definately very beautiful and you're definately very insecure.


_____________________________________________________________________________________
 

Why isn't she a 10/10 in your eyes then? lol.gif

 

I'm basically just messing with you. Your post was/is well meant.

 

lol girl coming from a decent looking male here you look perfectly fine, hot even. 9/10. The accutane is messing with your emotions. Don't take it again. Try and stay clear through diet changes instead.

Thank you. And yes, it is kind of big, lol. And I am insecure. I definitely need to work on that.

 

>>I think you are suffering from BDD. I looked at your post Accutane pictures and not only does your skin look PERFECT (not even kidding, I'm jealous) but you are a VERY pretty girl. Your nose is not 'bulbous', it is perfectly fine. You have very big, beautiful blue eyes and very pretty hair and skin. Honestly, I can think of a TON of guys who would think you were cute, hot, beautiful, etc. I'm telling you, this is all in your head. You should definitely seek therapy and maybe consider anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds before you get any plastic surgery done. People with BDD often turn to plastic surgery as a solution, but not only does this fuel their obsession, they are often even more depressed after the surgery. PLEASE think about this and get help before you get a nose job.

 

You are beautiful and I hope you realize that one day.

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Thank you, thank you! You're a sweetheart! wub.png  I realize you're probably right. I used to obsess over my acne, and I thought that once I got rid of it I would feel good about myself. Boy, I was wrong. I just found other things to fixate on. Again, thank you!

 

>Hey sorry you're feeling so crappy. I too know how it feels to look in the mirror and hate every little thing, pick out each perceived flaw. But seriously, it is all in your (and our) heads. We pick ourselves apart and it just adds to the frustration. You're a beautiful girl. It really is a waste of time, energy, and overall life to fixate on tiny things that in the grande scheme of things, do not matter. Don't waste the time or money on a nose job. You'll feel the exact same afterwards. Its not an issue of appearance, its an issue of attitude and depression it seems like to me. You'll be so much happier if you can learn to accept yourself for exactly how you are, right now. I know that is easier said than done. I know exactly how you're feeling, you're not alone. I'm two years clean from self harm and I thank my therapist for that, but also myself. I put in a lot of work into accepting myself and now I really focus on improving my inner self and qualities, and my appearance follows suit. I don't look perfect and there are still things I don't like about my appearance but they don't carry as much weight anymore. My advice would be to see your therapist. I know talking can be super hard so I often write down what I'm feeling instead. Then she can read it and its easier to open the door for discussion. Also surround yourself only with people who lift you up. Friends who concentrate on who you are as a person, not what you look like. People who place less importance on their appearance as well. I hope you feel better soon!

Thank you so much! This is such great advice. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and that you know what I'm feeling right now. You're right that it probably really isn't about appearance. I really hope to make peace with myself. I'm so glad to hear you've successfully overcome cutting, and two years clean, that's incredible! I've only been clean for six months, and it hasn't entirely been by choice, but I'm glad I've stopped. I still have a lot of urges, which kind of scares me. I don't want to go back to that dark place. That's such a great idea to write down your feelings. Probably the greatest hurdle I've faced in therapy is opening up and feeling comfortable enough to talk about my feelings. Thank you for talking to me! <3

 

 

Hey 6 months is amazing! At first I didn't stop for myself either. I stopped because my roommates and friends were starting to suffer because of it and the therapist was all like "blah, blah, blah you've got to make a change". And at first it was hard, and I had no coping strategies, and everything still sucked. But eventually, and slowly... other things started to overshadow the dark thoughts and the sun shone through and things started to look up. Classes were important again and I started finding it easier to vent to friends instead of hiding in my room. Finding friends who can act as a strong support system is super important. Things I found super helpful and some sound stupid were spending time in the sunshine (I know, it sounds weird, especially when people like us are usually stuck in long sleeves and pants) but the literal sunshine really helped me. I started spending time at my local SPCA walking dogs and it gave me such a good feeling to spend some time with some animals. They needed the love I had to give and I needed the love they had to give! Plus the light exercise really helped as well. And of course, my therapist, it really does help to talk things out because sometimes people like us can be a little delusional and have a hard time seeing things in other ways besides black and white. I found an antidepressant that worked for me and after a year, I didn't need it anymore. I won't lie though, I still think about it sometimes. The thought will invade when something hard happens and it is sometimes the first thing I think of to do. But now I've got a support system that can help me talk things out and find some other ways to get out the bad energy besides taking it out on myself. We are better than that and we deserve to be happy. Sorry for the long reply, I just wanted to let you know that even if it seems SO hard right now, it doesn't mean tomorrow isn't the day where things will turn the corner. I really hope things get amazing again really soon for you smile.png

 

Yeah, stopping was hard. Like you, when something hard happens it is the first thing I think to do. Even though I still have urges, overall I am so glad I stopped. It really hurt my parents, and I think my sister took it especially hard because she cut for a while herself. I totally understand what you mean about getting sunshine! It's kind of funny actually, because I hate going out when I depressed especially when it' sunny, but it always makes me feel sooo much better. Maybe it has to do with getting vitamin D? Whatever the reason, it works. I would love to volunteer at an animal shelter! I'm so lucky because I have two of the cutest, sweetest dogs at home and nine (yes nine!) cats, and I love them all probably more than anything in the world! We also started taking care of a colony of Ferrell cats around the same time I got really depressed, so I was surrounded by lots of animal love!! :) The cats basically live on our porch now, and four or five of them will come into the house on a regular basis. One of them, a chubby orange little boy, comes inside in the mornings and cuddles up with me in bed. I know, I'm a crazy cat lady, but I can't help it! Four of the nine cats that are actually ours were the kittens of two of the Ferrell cats, and they are the cutest dang things in the world! Anyway, it sounds like you put a lot of work into getting better, and I'm so happy for you. You've been so helpful, and I hope you know how much I appreciate it!! I don't mind your long response at all. It's nice that you gave me such a thoughtful reply. Thanks you so, so much. :) <3






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