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15 Year Old Female- Roaccutane Uk- Let's Do This! (Pictures Included)

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#41 EatsRainbows

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Posted 11 July 2013 - 10:22 AM

Day 56

 

It occurred to me today that this log is pretty much just me moaning about all this, and for that I'm sorry, I doubt it makes interesting reading :/

 

I have been feeling down recently but I'm almost sure that this is due to the horrific condition of my skin, rather than the drug making me depressed.

 

I have been very achey these last few days. It's been worst in my lower back but also my knees and the join where the top of my leg meets my hip have been hurting.

 

I had a hospital appointment yesterday, she decided not to increase my dosage due to the side effects I've been having and I'm glad she made that decision because I really can't take my skin getting worse before my holiday.

 

It's reached a point where I can go through the information booklet and tick off the side effects I've had.

Dry, bleeding lips. Check.

Dry skin. Check.

Eczema. Check.

Dry inside of nose. Check.

Initial worsening of skin. Check.

Dry and itchy eyes. Check.

Mood swings. Check.

Aches and pains. Check.

 

Arggggh I'm really sorry, I sound so negative. I've actually been lucky, my blood tests came back okay and there are far worse things that I could be experiencing, I just hate this so much. I think I'll begin to cope with the side effects better once my skin improves and I start to get my positive outlook on life back.eusa_pray.gif


Edited by EatsRainbows, 11 July 2013 - 10:24 AM.


#42 Tim714

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Posted 11 July 2013 - 07:31 PM

Yeah just hang in there, you're still relatively early in the treatment so just take it one day at a time and keep going as long as the side effects remain bearable. In the end you'll have much better skin and no side effects, just focus on that.

#43 EatsRainbows

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 10:12 AM

Yeah just hang in there, you're still relatively early in the treatment so just take it one day at a time and keep going as long as the side effects remain bearable. In the end you'll have much better skin and no side effects, just focus on that.

 

God, I love you guys, thanks Tim smile.png

 

Day 57

 

My chin is by far the worst area of my face so I've been using a lot less moisturiser on it in an attempt to dry it out. Now my spots are all surrounded by a dry, flakey ring of dead skin which just adds to the disgusting look of my skin.

 

Today I have noticed, not just one, but three people looking at my chin rather than my eyes as they talk to me. Yes, I know I have acne. Yes, I know it's horrible, but please have the decency not to stare at it... I hate this.

 

When I started this log I'd hoped to update you guys with pictures but I'm really sorry I just can't make myself do it. However, I will be more than happy to post photos when my skin improves, if that day ever comes.

 

I never thought it would hurt so much to smile. The combination of my ridiculously dry face and sore lips makes smiling a painful experience, not that I've been smiling all that much these days anyway.

 

This morning things reached a whole new low. I had an argument with my mum. It sounds silly but I got an award in this ceremony at school and I'm supposed to go up in front of a hall full of people and get it. I refused to go the the ceremony because I really can't face an audience of people with my skin looking like this. I didn't quite explain this to my mum though because I feel like she doesn't understand what I'm going through. She thought I was refusing to go because I was ungrateful about receiving an award. By the end of the argument with her I was sobbing and I eventually told her the real reason why I don't want to go. She was really understanding and I wish I had just told her in the first place. 

In conclusion, instead of going out on Thursday night to receive a prestigious award in front of a hall full of parents and my peers, I will be sitting at home with a bag of Doritos. Thanks acne.

 

Spots, can you not? Rant over.


Edited by EatsRainbows, 12 July 2013 - 11:48 AM.


#44 Tim714

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 12:37 PM

No problem :) but I think you should reconsider going to the award ceremony. I know how it feels to want to hide away in your room when your skin is bad to avoid social events and everytime I've done that I've felt like crap about it afterwards. More recently, I've been going wherever I'm invited regardless of how my skin looked and it can be tough at times but it's so much better than hiding away from everyone. Now nobody has given me any awards or anything (congratulations) but if I was in your shoes, I'd feel much better if I went and faced my anxiety then if I played it safe and avoided the whole thing. At the end of the day, it's just skin and although people may look, they don't care about your acne. Even if they did, it would be their problem, not yours.
I'm not saying it's easy and you just gotta suck it up and go, it will probably be really uncomfortable at times and it'll be a challenge. I just think you should meet it head on, accept your award and enjoy it. Again, just remember that it's not permanent, you're already addressing the problem. It's just a matter of time.
So when you're on your way home at the end of the night and you have that trophy/plaque/certificate/cookie/whatever in your lap, I bet you'll be glad that you went and got it. I totally get not wanting to go, but you can hadle it.

#45 Kalinka

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 06:16 PM

Your "before" pictures look a lot like what my skin looks lie now.. I was wondering, was it very dry then? I find that muy skin is always feeling so irritated and looks super red (either from dryness or from hyperpigmentation underneath the spots).

 

I feel so ridiculously sensitive and embarrassed about my appearance most of the time. But I'm going away on holiday next week and even though I'd love for it to be clear I know it's just not going to be. Anyway, I've seen what having this problem has done to me recently, becoming basically a shut in during daytime, keeping my head down in public... and I'm pretty sure it's just making me feel worse. I really hope you went to your awards ceremony because as hard as it seems to overcome, it's really horrible to let something like your acne completely overtake your life.

 

Tim's response to this actually made me cry, I'm so emotional these days.. He's so right about facing the anxiety.

I'm typically pretty calm about things, hardly ever crying... but I think it comes from just really really knowing what it feels like to be so embarrassed and ashamed even, and how horrible it is that any of us have to feel that way. :(

 

Anyway, this is depressing! haha! I guess I just wanted to let you know that (yet another) person is dealing with the same self-confidence issues (and itchy face!) as you right now... *sending virtual hugs* :)



#46 readytolive

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 07:29 PM

Go get that award. I know what it feels like to not want to go out in public because of my skin, but you CANNOT stop living! life will go on either way. I've learned that I have to take joy out of what I can in life becaue I definitely have not learned to take joy from my skin and appearance. So things like awards and honors can bring you a little joy in your life. No matter what your skin looks like, it feels good to get an award. Believe me, I was valedictorian and got to make a speech in front of an entire stadium of people. Of course I hated my skin but guess what? Most people could barely see my face much less my skin because they were so far away in the stadium, and my class who could see my skin since they were on the ground really didn't give a crap because they were graduating and guess what? they only cared about themselves! I also got so many kudos on my speech...everyone said it was "epic" and unforgettable because I really did try to make it the funnest and best speech I could think of. Did I want to go stand in front of all those people with bad skin? No. Did I end up enjoying the experience? Yes. Do I regret making the speech? No. Would I have regretted not making the speech? yes. GET THAT AWARD.



#47 everythingthatshimmers

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Posted 14 July 2013 - 09:28 AM

I just read your entire log and can totally relate. It sounds like we are about the same size and on the same dosage of Accutane. I am in my fifth month now and am 30 years old but it sounds like we have had similar side effects.

 

I can tell you that my second and third months were the worst. I had a lot of trouble with eczema and body aches, especially my lower back and hips. In my case, those issues mostly resolved on their own in my fourth month so hopefully the same will happen for you. When my lips were at their worst I used hydrocortisone ointment on them and it really helped, brought them nearly back to normal. You could probably try the cream if you have it but I like the ointment because it goes on clear like lip balm. (Follow the directions on the label though--you're not supposed to use it too much). My only problems now are fatigue and I'm a little emotional. I'm just buying time until I can get off this stuff....but my skin is CLEAR.  You will get there too!

 

Good luck to you!



#48 EatsRainbows

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 10:12 AM

Wow. I'm amazed that anyone actually reads my log, but the fact that complete strangers took the time to help me out with all this is utterly incredible. I sat here and cried at how kind and helpful you people are and I am so grateful for all your responses, thank you so much.

 

I want you all to know that I genuinely changed my mind about going to the award ceremony for a second there. That was until I got up and looked in the mirror where I burst into tears and quickly changed my mind back again. I'm so sorry, now I feel like I'm not only letting my parents down, but also all you amazing people who took the time to try and help me improve my life. I'm so disappointed in myself.

 

Thinking about this has made me realise how much I've let my skin control my life the past couple of years. I may not be going to the awards ceremony, but in a couple of weeks I'm doing an exchange programme and staying with a host family for 2 weeks. I hate meeting new people because I feel like they'll judge me because of my skin so this will be a massive challenge for me. I did even have thoughts of cancelling that too but these replies have made me realise that people out their believe in me even when I don't believe in myself and for that I am eternally grateful.

 

 

Your "before" pictures look a lot like what my skin looks lie now.. I was wondering, was it very dry then? I find that muy skin is always feeling so irritated and looks super red (either from dryness or from hyperpigmentation underneath the spots).

 

I feel so ridiculously sensitive and embarrassed about my appearance most of the time. But I'm going away on holiday next week and even though I'd love for it to be clear I know it's just not going to be. Anyway, I've seen what having this problem has done to me recently, becoming basically a shut in during daytime, keeping my head down in public... and I'm pretty sure it's just making me feel worse. I really hope you went to your awards ceremony because as hard as it seems to overcome, it's really horrible to let something like your acne completely overtake your life.

 

Tim's response to this actually made me cry, I'm so emotional these days.. He's so right about facing the anxiety.

I'm typically pretty calm about things, hardly ever crying... but I think it comes from just really really knowing what it feels like to be so embarrassed and ashamed even, and how horrible it is that any of us have to feel that way. sad.png

 

Anyway, this is depressing! haha! I guess I just wanted to let you know that (yet another) person is dealing with the same self-confidence issues (and itchy face!) as you right now... *sending virtual hugs* smile.png

 

I think my skin looks dry because I took that photo straight after washing my face because my skin used to be very oily (especially my t-zone) smile.png

 

Thanks for your response, I find it comforting to know that I'm not the only person out there who's struggling with all this and I just hope that one day we can all get to a point where acne is no longer a problem. Unfortunately, acne is still a problem for me and this time, I just couldn't face up to it. One day in the future I'll beat this bitch, I know I will. *hugs returned!* and thanks again smile.png

 

 

I just read your entire log and can totally relate. It sounds like we are about the same size and on the same dosage of Accutane. I am in my fifth month now and am 30 years old but it sounds like we have had similar side effects.

 

I can tell you that my second and third months were the worst. I had a lot of trouble with eczema and body aches, especially my lower back and hips. In my case, those issues mostly resolved on their own in my fourth month so hopefully the same will happen for you. When my lips were at their worst I used hydrocortisone ointment on them and it really helped, brought them nearly back to normal. You could probably try the cream if you have it but I like the ointment because it goes on clear like lip balm. (Follow the directions on the label though--you're not supposed to use it too much). My only problems now are fatigue and I'm a little emotional. I'm just buying time until I can get off this stuff....but my skin is CLEAR.  You will get there too!

 

Good luck to you!

 

Congratulations on the clear skin! This response was so helpful, the thought of putting up with this for many more months was killing you (and yes I know everyone's different but it's so promising to hear that you got through this and came out the other side with skin to be proud of! smile.png )

Ohhh I'll definitely look into hydrocortisone ointment for my lips if they get much worse. Thank you and good luck with the last bit of your course too! smile.png

 

Day 60 (2 monthsss!!)

 

No big changes in side effects. My back was aching like crazy today, I don't think it's helped by the fact that I'm so tired (got that end of term feeling!). Eczema wise, looking pretty good. Still using steroid cream on my feet but only once every one/two days as the irritation is nearly gone. The skin on my feet's a bit weird, all the areas that were covered with red lumps a few weeks ago are now covered with skin that's falling off. I think it's a good thing, like I'm shedding the old layer of horrible skin and hopefully making way for some normal-looking flip flop feet!

My mood has been a lot better today, thanks to all you beautiful people. The acne on my cheeks seems to be getting better (no change on my chin though) and the PIH seems to be fading too. 

Thank you again to everyone who has written to me so far and to everybody out there who is reading this. I feel like I've developed a kind of virtual safety net of people who are willing to listen to me moan and moan and moan. I can tell you things that I can't tell anyone else because I feel like you people truly understand what I'm going through. Muchas gracias amigos ;)



#49 aanabill

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 04:52 AM

get that award and i promise u will feel good.

u will regret not doing so later,which none of us want!

 

stay calm(use self hypnosis if needed).

and just take care of ur diet and water intake along with the meds,topicals u use.

i was on accutane and it does effect health in more than one ways.

 

*hugs from me too*



#50 EatsRainbows

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 10:56 AM

Day 62

 

My mum just doesn't understand me. I know that's like the most stereotypical thing that all teenagers say but it's so true at the moment. Yesterday I came home from school early because my back was aching so much and I felt like I hadn't slept for 3 weeks... but I've slept loads. Everything just felt so weak and tired.

Anyway, she just looked at me and asked me "is all this really worth it?". She has obviously never had acne.



#51 kilty

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Posted 18 July 2013 - 04:42 AM

Day 62

 

My mum just doesn't understand me. I know that's like the most stereotypical thing that all teenagers say but it's so true at the moment. Yesterday I came home from school early because my back was aching so much and I felt like I hadn't slept for 3 weeks... but I've slept loads. Everything just felt so weak and tired.

Anyway, she just looked at me and asked me "is all this really worth it?". She has obviously never had acne.

 

I know that feeling. Even as a 25 year old man!

 

I just started my course 2 days ago at the same doseage as you and have been keeping up with how you're coping. Just hang in there and I'm sure at the end of it all you'll be delighted you did. :)



#52 EatsRainbows

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 01:10 AM

Day 62

 

My mum just doesn't understand me. I know that's like the most stereotypical thing that all teenagers say but it's so true at the moment. Yesterday I came home from school early because my back was aching so much and I felt like I hadn't slept for 3 weeks... but I've slept loads. Everything just felt so weak and tired.

Anyway, she just looked at me and asked me "is all this really worth it?". She has obviously never had acne.

 

I know that feeling. Even as a 25 year old man!

 

I just started my course 2 days ago at the same doseage as you and have been keeping up with how you're coping. Just hang in there and I'm sure at the end of it all you'll be delighted you did. smile.png

 

Haha!

 

Day 69

 

Things are looking up :D I've been much less achy this past week and my eczema is almost gone so I've stopped using steroid cream and I'm now just moisturising like mad.

My skin's getting better! Only 2 spots on my cheeks and the PIH is fading amazingly quickly. I almost feel happy about the way my cheeks look!! My chin's still not great but it's almost as if I can feel it healing more and more every day. Feeling good wiggle.gif

Thank you for convincing me to keep going with this guys. If you're in the early days of your course then the best advice I can give you is to not think about all the horrible side effects that you have and the awful state of  your IB, just visualise that clear skin you'll have in a few months. It will happen, I promise.

I'm not quite clear yet, but I think this is the start of something good. 



#53 EatsRainbows

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Posted 26 July 2013 - 01:16 AM

Day 71

 

Yesterday I spent £30 in Boots on moisturiser, lip balm and eye drops...  



#54 NoMoreDotToDot

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Posted 27 July 2013 - 12:08 PM

Just a really quick message from me. Glad things are looking up. I haven't had a single spot for ages now, my scarring is fading on my back is minimal and not noticeable and I am going out tonight with friends with flawless skin and actually having my back on show :o haven't had my back on show for 6 years. I feel amazing and you will soon too :)

Edited by NoMoreDotToDot, 27 July 2013 - 12:09 PM.


#55 EatsRainbows

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 11:12 AM


Just a really quick message from me. Glad things are looking up. I haven't had a single spot for ages now, my scarring is fading on my back is minimal and not noticeable and I am going out tonight with friends with flawless skin and actually having my back on show :o haven't had my back on show for 6 years. I feel amazing and you will soon too :)


Thank you! So pleased to hear from you, glad it all worked out for you, enjoy it, you deserve it :)

Edited by EatsRainbows, 08 August 2013 - 11:14 AM.


#56 EatsRainbows

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 11:35 AM

Day 84

I write this from my holiday in sunny Spain. I'm doing it from my phone so please excuse any typos.

Before I left for Spain, I had a hospital appointment. When I told the nurse I was going to be spending 3 weeks in Madrid, she suggested I stop taking the medication until I return home. It may sound silly, but I just didn't want to stop. With my skin finally showing improvements, I want to keep going. Therefore, I haven't stopped taking it but we didn't increase my dosage as originally planned so I'm still on 40mg.
The instruction booklet says that Roaccutane shouldn't be stored above 25 degrees celsius. I knew that it would be hotter than that here so I asked the nurse if maybe I should keep them in the fridge. She said no, just in the coolest place you can find (eg a cupboard). Hope this helps anyone else jetting off any where :) I was surprised I hadn't seen other people mention this
concern.

So, it's hot here. I'm surviving by reapplying factor 50 suncream every few hours, wearing a enormous hat and staying in the shade when possible. So far, no sunburn!! Whooo!! ;)

I've had a rash down both my arms for the past few days. It's no where near as bad as the eczema I used to have but it's a tad itchy. I think it's because I've become a little complacent with moisturising since I've been on holiday, and I doubt the heat's helped. I'm not too worried though :)
My skin continues to improve, only 3 or 4 active spots on my face now :D Although the red marks in my chin are still quite prominent, I'm feeling goooood, I hope to post pictures once I'm home.
I've been here one week now, already used a full bottle of eye drops, they do NOT like this heat... but I do so I'm going to enjoy it ;)
¡Hasta luego amigos!

Edited by EatsRainbows, 08 August 2013 - 11:40 AM.


#57 EatsRainbows

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Posted 12 August 2013 - 04:55 AM

Day 88

Skin continues to improve, I'm so pleased.
Yesterday, a five year old girl told me I was beautiful, and do you know what, for that moment I forgot about my skin, and I really did feel it. It's amazing how much of a difference one kind comment can make to your self confidence :D

#58 EatsRainbows

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Posted 25 August 2013 - 09:01 AM

Day 101!

I can't begin to explain how amazing I feel so I thought I'd show you instead.

Drum roll please...
2013-08-25 15.34.47.jpg 2013-08-25 15.32.39.jpg
2013-08-25 15.30.47.jpg

Why are my photos upside down?!! Sorry about these guys, but I hope you can see my awesome skin anyway :P

I'd forgotten that feeling of a soft smooth cheek :D You can't really see the extent of my scarring in these photos but I've been left with quite damaged skin. However, for today I can forget about that and just enjoy the skin I have now. It's almost unbelievable when I look at how my skin used to look. I can't believe it's all happened so incredibly quickly. I know I have been very lucky, even though that's not how it felt for the first couple of months! ;)

#59 HeftyMug

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Posted 25 August 2013 - 11:16 AM

congrats! You look great!



#60 everythingthatshimmers

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Posted 25 August 2013 - 12:03 PM

Your skin looks amazing!! Enjoy every bit of it!






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