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If Your Son/daughter Had Acne


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#41 freja

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Posted 30 May 2013 - 04:05 PM

My husband has good genes and does not get any acne and always told me he hopes our beautiful children take after him I know it sounds mean but I actually agreed with him.

Ack! I'm sorry but this just really stuck out to me. I can't believe he actually said that. No sane person with half a heart would EVER make a comment like that to their wife .. good god. Are you sure you want to be with a person who says cruel things to you like that? :(



#42 Ries

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Posted 30 May 2013 - 07:54 PM

I honestly don't know what to do if my child had an acne.

 

But if you and and your partner have severe acne, would you even consider having a child? I've been thinking about that lately just for future reference.



#43 Frank*L

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Posted 30 May 2013 - 08:07 PM

I honestly don't know what to do if my child had an acne.

 

But if you and and your partner have severe acne, would you even consider having a child? I've been thinking about that lately just for future reference.

 

I've thought about this before. I dont think my partner would need to have acne for my kid to have it too. part of me would love to feel the joy of being a father but most of me says I wouldn't want to pass on my shit genetics. 



#44 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 30 May 2013 - 09:30 PM

stella u're really thoughtful.<3

 

i'd help my child if he faces anything like this,work things out for him like am doing it for myself now.

be with him psychologically.like forum members here.

but i hope to bring him/her up in a way that he's able to believe that he/she's more than her/his skin or acne.

i know ppl who doesnt care a bit abt acne or other skin issues(like my cousin sister) and also many who freak out(somewhat like i do,sometimes)..so i hope children i general learn balance.

 

Yes, that's great to bring them up that way! If ever I have kids one day, I want to teach them those kinds of values : loving oneself despite the acne! not only acne, too, but about society's beauty standards in general. I will literally tell them "Fuck society's beauty standards!" and teach them to use that motto everyday lol

 

My parents have their beauty standards, too. Like in Asia, having pale skin is one of those standards. I have more of a tanned complexion and I was wearing foundation, and my mom told me I should wear a lighter shade. Umm, no, I don't want to look like I'm wearing a mask or look like a Geisha lol.

 

I think there's beauty in diversity! Be it light/dark skin, tall/short, curvy/thin and especially acne/clear skin, you can still be a beautiful person. The world would be boring if we all looked alike! I must admit  I still have a hard time living up to what I think. 

Wow, this is so well put. Your words have so much truth. Beauty standards around the world are so different from place to place, and yet they are all discriminatory of a certain type of beauty. Like you mentioned, pale skin is ideal in Asia, but here is the U.S. everyone seems to work to get the perfect tan. And there really is beauty in diversity. Our beauty standards in the west have changed over periods of time so that certain looks have been ideal. For a while women were praised for being curvy, then willowy and thin, and back and forth. For a while the "blonde bombshell" look was really popular (Marilyn Monroe), and now it seems the tan, athletic look is in. So why does only one type of beauty have to be the only type of beauty?

 

As for having children with acne, I would wait until my child starting getting acne to start dealing with it. Like you said, I don't want to make my child insecure and worry over something that is not even there yet. And if my child did end up developing acne, I would make it a point to show my child that it is not a big deal, it doesn't change how beautiful he/she is, etc. I think trying to prevent your child from developing acne, stretch marks, or some other aesthetical "flaw" creates an unnecessary negativity towards something that shouldn't really matter anyways. It's like telling your child that it's not okay to be flawed, to be human, and that's not okay. At least in my case, others' negativity towards normal human flaws and obsession with perfection eventually led to some pretty serious body image issues. 



#45 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 30 May 2013 - 09:45 PM

Hi everyone.. As I was scrolling through the psychological effects of acne I ran into this post and I immediately felt not alone. I'm having this ordeal now I don't want to live life like this any longer, my daughter my baby who is only THREE years old is showings signs of the same face decese I have my mothers side all of them have a pock marcked face I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating but I have non inflamed acne where all I get is clogged pores and black heads almost every pore on my cheeks and chin nose is clogged nothing works and they leave behind a enlarged scarred pore. Why do I have this? Why doesn't my skin shrink back after a clogged pore? Can you imagine everyday seeing more scarred pores on your face. And now my daughter had silky smooth face I would never thought that her little pores would show signs of enlarging at such young age! Are my genes really that messed up that I've passed on to her? I feel like I lost everything I lost the fight to this. I'm so depressed I cry all day but I will not mention this to her I just tell her not to touch her face bcus she's got icky germy hands. D My precious daughter she cannot have the same fate as me! I don't understand, what can I do? My husband has good genes and does not get any acne and always told me he hopes our beautiful children take after him I know it sounds mean but I actually agreed with him. Is it normal maybe just summer time kids pores enlarge? She has two little holes on he cheek and her pores are showing some texture. Help me guys!

Infantile, or baby, acne is pretty common, but your daughter is quite a bit older than the age most develop it. From what I understand, it's usually caused by hormones passed on from the mother during the last stages of pregnancy, and it's usually pretty fleeting. Does she actually have pimples, or just enlarged pores? I would definitely ask your doctor about this if it's really concerning you.



#46 Madeleine24

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Posted 31 May 2013 - 03:05 AM

yeah it usually only happens to very young babies who are still being breastfed.

 

It could be Milia? Kids quite often get that.



#47 Perseverance92

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Posted 31 May 2013 - 01:10 PM

I honestly don't know what to do if my child had an acne.

 

But if you and and your partner have severe acne, would you even consider having a child? I've been thinking about that lately just for future reference.

So if you and your partner would have acne you wouldn't have a child? It's one thing to mentally make a note of such thoughts,it's entirely a different thing to have the temerity to write them online on a website where acne afflicted individuals congregate to offer solutions and feel better.You just won't want to have a child for a puny skin disorder called acne? eh,seriously??. I have known couples who plan for a child despite being wary of the potential genetic disorders which they could pass on to their offsprings.And i'm sure disorders such as Color blindness,Phenylketoneuria,Klinefelter's syndrome,Polycystic kidney disease and Turner's syndrome are definitely graver than acne.There are incidents of severe teratogenesis where the fetus gets severely deformed.Even then some couples don't abort their baby and struggle to get a normal life for it.Why all this? For the love of God perhaps....

 

If my parents in their teenage perhaps had the same line of thoughts as you had,i wouldn't be here.

Thought's like your even if they are for "future reference" are sullen,gloomy,morose and dismal.A lot of synonyms could perhaps indicate the degree of its negativity.

Sorry for over reacting :/



#48 aanabill

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Posted 01 June 2013 - 12:05 AM

I honestly don't know what to do if my child had an acne.

 

But if you and and your partner have severe acne, would you even consider having a child? I've been thinking about that lately just for future reference.

So if you and your partner would have acne you wouldn't have a child? It's one thing to mentally make a note of such thoughts,it's entirely a different thing to have the temerity to write them online on a website where acne afflicted individuals congregate to offer solutions and feel better.You just won't want to have a child for a puny skin disorder called acne? eh,seriously??. I have known couples who plan for a child despite being wary of the potential genetic disorders which they could pass on to their offsprings.And i'm sure disorders such as Color blindness,Phenylketoneuria,Klinefelter's syndrome,Polycystic kidney disease and Turner's syndrome are definitely graver than acne.There are incidents of severe teratogenesis where the fetus gets severely deformed.Even then some couples don't abort their baby and struggle to get a normal life for it.Why all this? For the love of God perhaps....

 

If my parents in their teenage perhaps had the same line of thoughts as you had,i wouldn't be here.

Thought's like your even if they are for "future reference" are sullen,gloomy,morose and dismal.A lot of synonyms could perhaps indicate the degree of its negativity.

Sorry for over reacting :/

well said.

a skin disorder stopping u from having a baby is like swearing to produce  miss world winner or undergo castration!

 

p.s even beauty contest winners seems more real with small-big problems!



#49 Ries

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Posted 01 June 2013 - 02:11 AM

I honestly don't know what to do if my child had an acne.

 

But if you and and your partner have severe acne, would you even consider having a child? I've been thinking about that lately just for future reference.

So if you and your partner would have acne you wouldn't have a child? It's one thing to mentally make a note of such thoughts,it's entirely a different thing to have the temerity to write them online on a website where acne afflicted individuals congregate to offer solutions and feel better.You just won't want to have a child for a puny skin disorder called acne? eh,seriously??. I have known couples who plan for a child despite being wary of the potential genetic disorders which they could pass on to their offsprings.And i'm sure disorders such as Color blindness,Phenylketoneuria,Klinefelter's syndrome,Polycystic kidney disease and Turner's syndrome are definitely graver than acne.There are incidents of severe teratogenesis where the fetus gets severely deformed.Even then some couples don't abort their baby and struggle to get a normal life for it.Why all this? For the love of God perhaps....

 

If my parents in their teenage perhaps had the same line of thoughts as you had,i wouldn't be here.

Thought's like your even if they are for "future reference" are sullen,gloomy,morose and dismal.A lot of synonyms could perhaps indicate the degree of its negativity.

Sorry for over reacting :/

 

Ok maybe Acne was a bad example but my point is, if you and your partner have some kind of grave illness that you could possibly passed on to your offspring, wouldn't you reconsider having a child because you don't want to see him/her struggle in the future? Well I probably would reconsider, but that's just me.

 

Anyways on topic

 

If my child showed concerns that he/she is bothered by their acne I will wait for the time when he/she will approach to me about it, and maybe take him/her to the derm. I'm not gonna be like "Oh hey your skin is bad, let's take you to the derm!"

 

Pointing imperfections is just bad enough.


Edited by Ries, 01 June 2013 - 02:11 AM.


#50 Dermarolling Girl

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Posted 07 July 2013 - 06:38 PM

When I was my son's age, I never broke out. never. Then I turned 29 and started getting cystic acne. It was a shock to me. My mom used to get it when she was my age but hey, when you're young you don't pay attention to those things. It wasn't a big deal to me until I got mine. Major shock!

 

My son gets non cystic acne and it can be bad. He also gets it on his chest and back. I totally freak out. lol I take him to get facials as often as I can. I don't care how much it costs. Took him to the dermatologist but we both hated Minocycline. It didn't work for us. He also was using Altrin (or whatever that is called). It helped but he got lazy, stopped using it and the zits came back. I got a ton of face washes, biore strips..you name it and he has it. lol I try to get him to wash his face every morning and night but he's a lazy teen. Can't force him to do what he doesn't want to. I've gotten better about it and I'm trying not to be so obsessive. I just worry about my baby. But honestly, he doesn't seem to care about it. He always tells me he doesn't care and not to worry so much. I don't chase him around with the biore strips anymore or offer him money so that i can clean his face. haha yeah, I'm one of those mothers....

 

 

I will be so, so, so, so sad if my son inherits my cysts. I'd rather get triple the amount that I am getting then to have my poor child go through this crap. I will be so pissed at myself if he does... :(


Edited by Dermarolling Girl, 07 July 2013 - 06:46 PM.


#51 aanabill

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 12:11 AM

When I was my son's age, I never broke out. never. Then I turned 29 and started getting cystic acne. It was a shock to me. My mom used to get it when she was my age but hey, when you're young you don't pay attention to those things. It wasn't a big deal to me until I got mine. Major shock!

 

My son gets non cystic acne and it can be bad. He also gets it on his chest and back. I totally freak out. lol I take him to get facials as often as I can. I don't care how much it costs. Took him to the dermatologist but we both hated Minocycline. It didn't work for us. He also was using Altrin (or whatever that is called). It helped but he got lazy, stopped using it and the zits came back. I got a ton of face washes, biore strips..you name it and he has it. lol I try to get him to wash his face every morning and night but he's a lazy teen. Can't force him to do what he doesn't want to. I've gotten better about it and I'm trying not to be so obsessive. I just worry about my baby. But honestly, he doesn't seem to care about it. He always tells me he doesn't care and not to worry so much. I don't chase him around with the biore strips anymore or offer him money so that i can clean his face. haha yeah, I'm one of those mothers....

 

 

I will be so, so, so, so sad if my son inherits my cysts. I'd rather get triple the amount that I am getting then to have my poor child go through this crap. I will be so pissed at myself if he does... sad.png

u're a very good mother!

i hope ur son is fine!



#52 mogthemighty

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 02:04 AM

When (read if) I ever have kids I'm going to teach them all my known beauty tricks ;) They'll start exfoliating straight from the womb I swear!



#53 FreshStart2014

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Posted 14 July 2013 - 06:14 AM

I am a mother of two young girls. The minute they show signs of acne I will get them to a derm or medical esthetician to start a quality skin care regime. If its presented in the right way, you can avoid any negative association IMO.
I had mild to moderate acne. I also had/have skin picking OCD (which i realize is just a symptom of a larger issue but was not helped by the acne for sure). My parents did nothing for me and I kind of resent them for it.

#54 wheatfree

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Posted 14 July 2013 - 01:34 PM

My parents pretty much had the attitude that if they got by without dermatology, then I could too. We were not well off financially and by the time I was really having problems, there was a divorce and situational poverty resulted. When I had a child, I did not really think that he would have acne. My brother outgrew his quickly, my sister never had it, my parents were clear, my husband never suffered, my husbands parents were clear. Wouldn't you know it my son began developing acne maybe by 14 or 15 (much later than mine). I was devastated, he didn't think about it much. About that time I was really experimenting with going gluten-free mainly due to some digestive issues, but in a few months realized that it was clearing my skin. Not completely but mostly. We had been having conversations about acne, because I wanted him to know that he did not have to suffer with and there were things we could do if he was open to it. We tried a few over the counter cleansers and things that just made his condition worse. I told him that he could try going gluten-free because it really helped me. He tried it with great success. Discussing acne openly has actually allowed us to learn from each other ways to control our acne. It helps strengthen our bond as he becomes increasingly independent. It has helped his confidence because it doesn't embarrass him to talk about it. 



#55 TheSilentForce

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Posted 09 August 2013 - 05:35 PM

To be honest, I used to think that I'll have children someday, but now I'm not sure if I ever want to have children. I believe the main reason I have severe acne is because I inherited it from one of my grandparents. So if I have children, I will probably pass my acne genes to my children or my grandchildren. I'm also unsure if I'm going to have children because I'm not sure how to deal with their acne if they get it. Based on experience, I don't like it when people imply I'm being ridiculous for getting distressed over my acne problem. My ex-boyfriend used to imply that. But when I used to have more acne, my mother would say things like "I can see your acne" every time she saw me. She still points out my acne occasionally, and I didn't like that either.

 

So if I ever have children and they get acne, I will probably tell them about my acne experience. I will also tell them that even if they're not currently bothered by their acne, it might still have a negative impact on them later as it drags on. (Because that's what happened to me). If they're still not interested in treatment, I'll probably let it go. If their acne bothers them, I will try topical medication on them first, and if that doesn't work, antibiotics.     



#56 Spotthedifference

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Posted 12 August 2013 - 03:48 PM

If my kids get acne in the future I'd help them out if they asked for it or showed physical or emotional discomfort, but otherwise leave it be. Wouldn't want to point it out and make them paranoid if it wasn't already an issue to them.