I'm new to this forum but acne is definitely not new to me. I just wanted to type up some thoughts about how I'm struggling through my current breakout.
I'm female, 24 now, and still struggling with acne. I've always worn make-up to feel better/more comfortable with myself.
I've had moderate acne since grade 4 for as long as I can remember. There were times when it was really bad, and it's a never ending cycle that just was and still is a roller coaster of emotions. Acne has really effected me psychologically and emotionally throughout the years and I've never really had the chance to open up about it to anyone close to me. Yes, my parents had taken me to doctors before to fix it but...I feel like I've always had to deal with the emotional problems on my own.
I think my struggle with acne was the worst in high school. Wanting to belong and being a teenager, it ruined my self-esteem and confidence. I'm still building it back up but I've still got a long way to go.
This past year I've been able to clear up my acne to the point where I was free of it in January. It could be a factor of things (especially hormones) but suddenly now it's gotten a lot worse than ever before and it makes me feel so hopeless and down. Without any changes in my skincare regime (and diet - I eat quite healthy), I'm back to square one. It's frustrating because I've been breaking out for the past three weeks and I don't exactly know what caused it or why.
I almost didn't want to get out of bed today but I know that having acne is all psychological and that everyone has acne (some more severe than others) and that I just have to be confident in myself. And I had to go out today because I had some important school things to attend to.
I've also gotten into a new relationship this year as well when my skin was in better shape. My boyfriend always calls me beautiful and everything but...sometimes I fail to see it. I know that beauty can be more than the physical and I want to really truly believe him but...sometimes I can't. What if I show him myself without all that makeup? I know he's really understanding and he sees me for who I am but at the same time...I feel so vulnerable letting him in. In time I'll tell him because I trust him and in a way I know he truly cares about me. But for now it has to be my own struggle. And I believe in some way he already knows about my acne and sees it but doesn't mention it because it doesn't matter to him.
Although I'm kind of dwelling in my own depressing thoughts...I also see some good in my acne..all the experiences that I've gone through...it's made me a stronger person. I know this breakout will pass with all due time. And...my struggles has led me to be in a helping profession. In some way I don't want other people to have gone through what I've been through...what I'm still going through. It sucks as hell but...I'm doing what I can do...and I'm also talking about it here.
So thank you for reading and sorry if this is all over the place. I just wanted to write about what I was going through right now and how it sucks...
It helps me get through today a bit better knowing that I'm not alone in this and that I can turn to this forum for support.