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I Just Need Someone Who'll Read This And Make Me Feel That There's Hope.

depressed psychological effect of acne teen acne feeling ugly

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#1 Rocker165

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Posted 03 May 2013 - 09:52 AM

Hi. It's 10:38 pm in my country. They say staying up late at night is not good for your skin and will only make your acne worse. Well, for now, I just dont care if my acne will get worse. I just need someone who'll read my story, my whole acne experience, despite the fact that I'm a newbie, I dont have much friends here and I feel like no one is willing to help me or give me some advice. But if you're reading this, thank you and I love you even if I dont know you. And if you have acne and you feel hopeless, I understand you. 

 

So you might be wondering what's my problem? Well, obviously, it's acne. It's all about acne. It's just that it makes me feel so depressed and ugly. It makes me feel like I cant get back that happy life that I had before this whole acne thing. You know, it's been 4 months already. It was during the first week of January this year when I noticed that there are some whiteheads on my cheeks and as the weeks passed, I got more and more whiteheads. Of course, I panicked because after 3 months of nearly being "zit-free", here comes my "friends" again. I bought some soap and there were some good reviews about it online but it just made my acne even worse. Those whiteheads on my cheeks transformed into huge pustules. It sucks, it really sucks. That was even the time when we need to make a short film for our project in school. And guess what? I'm one of the main cast. So I have to put some make-up on my face( and I really dont know how to put it, but I have no choice) just to make my pimples less visible. I didnt even watch when our short film was shown to our classmates. You know, during the first weeks of having acne, I didnt feel so bad about it. I feel like ok, after a few weeks this thing will go away but I was wrong, really, really wrong.

 

 

And on the month of February,everyone's excited for Valentine's day hoping that they're going to have someone to date. Well, not for me. Those pustules on my cheeks got severely inflamed and I even got new ones on my temples.I tried new products but they werent that effective at all. So eventually, the people around me started noticing my acne. I actually hate when they approach me, just to ask what happened to my face and why I look like "this". And that time I was just like, " I dont know, and I wish you have it too!" I mean, they dont know how embarrassing it is for us to have acne and talk about it in public. Talk about how severely inflamed our acne is, talk about how ugly we are. They even give us some useless advice or opinion about our acne. Use this, and that, but we are aware that they arent really concerned about us. They're just curious. They're wondering what happened to our face. They're shocked why we look like this. I mean they're lucky that they dont have acne. So giving us some respect is the least they can do. I even remember,one time ,during an event  in our school when my teacher said that we should dance and I did and my classmates told me that I shouldnt dance too much or I shouldnt dance near them coz they're afraid that my pimples would "fly away" and land on their faces. I cried after that event. I looked myself in the mirror and I realized that I'm ugly. I look horrible and I look very different from the old me.

 

 

March------the school year's about to end and I also thought that my acne is also going to end but it didnt. 

Still trying new products but they didnt solve my problem. And because the school year's about to end, we need to prepare for the final exam and finish our projects. And this means stress. More and more stress. And we all now that stress means acne. So yeah, once again, my acne got worse than before. And when the school year is finally over, I said to myself, "Before our summer vacation ends, I'll make my acne disappear.

 

April---------I noticed that some of my pimples are starting to fade away. Well, my acne is still there but at least I'm starting to notice some improvement. But it seems that "improvement" was only temporary. It was only during the first few days of April when that "improvement" happened. Or maybe I was just hallucinating or making my self believe that there really is an improvement even if there's not. So in the last week of April my mom finally decided to bring me to a dermatologist. It was on April 23. My doctor gave me Doxycycline 100 mg( and I have to take it 2 times a day for two weeks), Physiogel Non-comedogenic Facial Wash, Benzoyl Peroxide 10%, Erythromycin gel, and Miconazole cream. He asked me to come back after two weeks( and that would be on May 7) to see my skin's reaction to the stuff he gave me. He also told me to follow his instructions "religiously" and I did.

 

May(Present)---- Well, I'm still using the stuff that my dermatologist asked me to use. But it's just so frustrating that I got even more pimples. I have a strong feeling that this is actually because of the stuff he gave me. But what's even more frustrating is the fact  that during the first 2-4 days I when I used all those stuffs he gave me, huge portions of my face cleared up and now, I'm getting new and big and inflamed pimples all over my face again. And were not even rich and this acne treatment costs a lot for us.  I just feel so frustrated, and depressed. I feel like giving up. I feel like there's no cure to my acne. I'll never get rid of these zits on my face or if I do, I still need to wait until I'm 50 or 60 coz that's the only time that acne would really really start to go away. You know, I dont need to look good. I dont wanna look good. All I want is to be acne-free. Be free from all the bullying. From all the people who tell me that I look horrible because of my acne. I know there are people here who have acne for years already and whose acne is perhaps, even worse than mine. But I guess you cant blame me. I'm 15, I wanna enjoy my young life, hangout with my friends and do what teens like me usually do. I've never felt this miserable before. I've never felt so ugly. I feel like acne is controlling my life. I feel like unless I get rid of it, I will never be happy. I will never be free. I've done a lot of sacrifices because of acne. I dont know when my suffering will end. Please give some advice. Please help me. I know you are the ones who understand me more anyone else. 



#2 vituperative

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Posted 03 May 2013 - 10:16 AM

Firstly, I am sending you a big virtual hug! I can completely sympathize with you. I started getting acne at 11 and I am now 26. I have had severe acne.
 

Ok, so you said you were taking Doxycycline, I am taking that too (it's called Doryx here). I experienced the same thing as you - my acne started to improve for the first 5 days of treatment and I was thinking yay, everything is clearing up! Well, on the 6th day I got a cystic break out and then I got more and more. My skin started going berserk but I persisted. I know from my experience with Roaccutane that you normally go through "worse before it gets better". At day 12, I started feeling my zits dry up. I am now 3 weeks in Doxycycline (Doryx) and I am finding relief. I have no new breakouts!! Keep going with your treatment, I promise it will improve soon! :)

 

As for your problems, if you honestly feel desperate, you might consider going through Roaccutane. There are mixed opinions on this forum about it but I think it saved my life! When I was 15, I woke up one morning and wrote a letter for my mum before I went to school. It was short and simple. It said, "If I don't get help soon, I'm going to kill myself". I felt like you. Trapped in this filthy body, nothing I did helped. I washed my face RELIGIOUSLY, ate healthy, drank water and went to bed at 8pm-10pm every day. I never went out because I was ashamed of my horrible skin. I remember one time, a friend of mine turned to me out of the blue and said, "You know, if you just washed your face everyday, you'd probably have perfect skin". I was horrified. I couldn't believe my friends thought I had acne because I was dirty and didn't take care of myself. I was trying so hard to control my skin but I had severe cystic acne that would not go away. That's when I was told about Roaccutane. I did an 8 months course of it and then had PERFECT SKIN. I am not kidding. I was unrecognizable. For 7 years after that I continued to have great skin (unfortunately I had terribly, terrible scarring). For the last 3 years, I've been breaking out again. Some cystic acne is back but nowhere near to what I had when I was 15/16. It makes me sad but I am also 26 now and try to remember that it could be worse. This is why I am now taking Doxycycline and it's helping. I'm also using Epiduo Gel.

Please don't be sad. I completely understand what you're feeling and it's easier said than done but you will find relief. Please remember you are an amazing person. Yes, young people are ignorant and they don't understand acne but don't let that get to you! Please seek treatment if Doxycycline doesn't work. Do NOT give up! You can find help one way or another - even if it takes a lot of searching and experimenting.

Please message me on here if you want more support or someone to discuss your feelings with, ok?
Take care :)


My Skincare Routine

Morning:
Wash face with Thursday Plantation Acne Face Wash

 

Night:

Remove makeup with Nivea Daily Essentials Facial Cleansing Wipes (Fragrance Free)
Wash face with Thursday Plantation Acne Face Wash

Gently scrub face with regular table salt
Wash face with Proactiv Deep Cleansing Wash

 

Shower:

Clean & Clear Deep Action In-Shower Facial Mask
 

Antibiotics: Doryx 50mg morning and at night

Make up: Revlon Colorstay for combination/oily skin
Did an 8 month course of Roaccutane in 2003


#3 everythingthatshimmers

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Posted 03 May 2013 - 11:01 AM

Hang in there and know you are in a good place to talk about your feelings and frustrations because we can all relate. My only advice is to continue using the products and medications your dermatologist recommended. Sometimes it can take a long time for things to start working and sometimes the medications can make things worse before they get better. But things will get better. In my experience, if a treatment isn't working after three months then it may be time to make a change but your dermatologist will direct you. When my acne is at it's worst, I find I do better if I avoid mirrors and just pretend I don't have acne, just try to act as if I have clear skin and am super confident even if I just want to crawl in bed and stay there. Keep in mind I am thirty years old and work with the public, I have had many years to practice this =) Try to ignore the bullies, I know it's hard. Won't you be on summer vacation soon? Hopefully that will help. They need to be careful about teasing you, it could happen to them too. I didn't have acne until I was 20. When my friends and/or co-workers ask about my skin I just say something like, "Yeah, for some reason I'm really breaking out right now. I'm working on it, I'm seeing a dermatologist." That tends to shut them up but your situation is different of course. Anyway, best of luck to you. Just remember this is a bump in the road and it will get better!

#4 aanabill

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Posted 03 May 2013 - 12:22 PM

another big hug from me too.

i do feel for u.

the on going phase is probably the worst phase of my life.both personally and professionally.

i lost people to death.

one of them was my closest.

a few others left on their own accord and got so busy with their prim and proper life with new people that i dint have even one friend.

i was lagging professionally as well.

and on top of all that i had bad bad acne.

i stopped going anywhere and cried all day and fell asleep crying.

all i did was read & dance.they help me relax.also i need not leave my room for that.

i joined a penpaling site but even with them i never shared my skin issues!for i thought they'd judge me.

i dont quite think my family understood me..for they like many think acne isnt really a disease.plus my cousin who had acne too,never really reacted.

 

 

but i guess not all are effected the same way.

people around(mostly the idiotic and annoying ones who've got no idea about what a human body is or actually,anything is) questioned and was like "oh!these are pimples,nah?"

i mean ,seriously??

no,they are spleen over growing on my face.

 

but i dont think anyone was stupid enough or nasty enough to say 'get away or i'll be infected'.

i would have nicely made them realise how ignorant and dumb they are then.

 

 

am not over it.

i still have the same issues but it hurts less.

i believe the hard phase has made me more mature,patient,understanding and compassionate.

also,joining other acne-sufferers have not only made me realise things about myself but also about others body n psychology.

 
 
to u,i'd say :
i'm here if u need me.
or anyone of us.
i'm sure u'll find a good frnd or frnds here.
now that i think abt it..i might actually search one here.=)
 
also,listen to ur derma and carry on.
sometimes ,they say ,people have initial breakouts.
 
i'd highly recommend u take care of ur diet,sleep(7-8 hrs of sleep) and stress level.
also,check for ur sugar level.i mean avoid insulin spikes.
u can do that by using cinnamon after meals.
i can give u a few tips as well.
things that people find helpful here.
 
why dont u go through the diet & holistic living section.
also check the success threads.
 
all the best mate.
much love.

Itchy red raised skin - dermatitis??
http://www.acne.org/...-with-pictures/
 
huge pores
http://www.acne.org/...dwith-pictures/
 
indented scar
http://www.acne.org/...iswith-picture/
 
oils used for cooking
http://www.acne.org/...oilgood-or-bad/
 
inflamed whiteheads & clogged pores
http://www.acne.org/...twith-pictures/
 
my balanced diet chart and skincare routine(medications taken & products used now)
http://www.acne.org/...food-allergies/
http://www.acne.org/...incare-routine/
 

#5 AbstractFactory

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Posted 03 May 2013 - 06:14 PM

4 months? You don't know the half of it son. Try having it for years.



#6 Rocker165

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Posted 03 May 2013 - 10:45 PM

Hey guys, I can really feel all the "hugs" you've sent me. You know I was reading other posts in this section, plus the replies you gave me and it actually made me feel better.I know I'm having acne for just 4 months. But as a teenager, its really difficult for me to deal with acne. I mean, I'm 15, I dont know much about it and I dont know how to deal with it. That's why I'm posting here coz I need your support and I'm just so thankful that I got what I wanted. Your advice, and the way you share your own acne experience with me(which actually made me think that I am not alone and if you guys can deal with acne in a proper way, then I can do it too) is just so heartwarming. Plus, I realized that even if acne made me feel like I'm the ugliest person on earth, there's actually a good side about it. Because of acne, I was able to know who my real friends are. Those people who truly care for me no matter how I look. And I think I also become stronger( but I still do cry sometimes because of acne) and Iearn to love myself for who I am and for how I look. 

 

I really dont know if my acne medication right now would work me but if it dont, I wont give up. I'll just have faith in God and faith in myself. I now this whole acne problem would end in the right time. You know what they say, everything will be okay on the end so if things arent okay yet then its not yet the end. Perhaps I'll still have acne in the months or even years to come, but I'll be smarter in dealing with it. Thanks guys, love you all!



#7 mirili

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Posted 04 May 2013 - 12:04 AM

Yes dont give up. You are in good hands. Just use the products your dermatologist gave you and if it doesnt help he/she will notice and change it. You have to believe that your skin is going to be better. I have had acne since I was 14, I am nearly 23 today and I still suffer from it but it is much better now. Once again please dont give up and everything is going to be good. I wish you luck. And another advice from me, do not ever pick your pimples. You are going to make them look worse and create scars on your face and it is really really difficult to get rid of scars. I know it.



#8 aanabill

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Posted 04 May 2013 - 01:44 AM

Hey guys, I can really feel all the "hugs" you've sent me. You know I was reading other posts in this section, plus the replies you gave me and it actually made me feel better.I know I'm having acne for just 4 months. But as a teenager, its really difficult for me to deal with acne. I mean, I'm 15, I dont know much about it and I dont know how to deal with it. That's why I'm posting here coz I need your support and I'm just so thankful that I got what I wanted. Your advice, and the way you share your own acne experience with me(which actually made me think that I am not alone and if you guys can deal with acne in a proper way, then I can do it too) is just so heartwarming. Plus, I realized that even if acne made me feel like I'm the ugliest person on earth, there's actually a good side about it. Because of acne, I was able to know who my real friends are. Those people who truly care for me no matter how I look. And I think I also become stronger( but I still do cry sometimes because of acne) and Iearn to love myself for who I am and for how I look. 

 

I really dont know if my acne medication right now would work me but if it dont, I wont give up. I'll just have faith in God and faith in myself. I now this whole acne problem would end in the right time. You know what they say, everything will be okay on the end so if things arent okay yet then its not yet the end. Perhaps I'll still have acne in the months or even years to come, but I'll be smarter in dealing with it. Thanks guys, love you all!

high five mate!hifive.gif


Itchy red raised skin - dermatitis??
http://www.acne.org/...-with-pictures/
 
huge pores
http://www.acne.org/...dwith-pictures/
 
indented scar
http://www.acne.org/...iswith-picture/
 
oils used for cooking
http://www.acne.org/...oilgood-or-bad/
 
inflamed whiteheads & clogged pores
http://www.acne.org/...twith-pictures/
 
my balanced diet chart and skincare routine(medications taken & products used now)
http://www.acne.org/...food-allergies/
http://www.acne.org/...incare-routine/
 

#9 mrbrightside07

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Posted 04 May 2013 - 06:54 PM

I know exactly how you feel. Just keep in mind that God gives the toughest challenges to His toughest soldiers. God bless! :)

I know exactly how you feel. Just keep in mind that God gives the toughest challenges to His toughest soldiers. God bless! :)

Btw, are you from the Philippines? :)

#10 Rocker165

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Posted 04 May 2013 - 07:34 PM

I know exactly how you feel. Just keep in mind that God gives the toughest challenges to His toughest soldiers. God bless! smile.png

I know exactly how you feel. Just keep in mind that God gives the toughest challenges to His toughest soldiers. God bless! smile.png

Btw, are you from the Philippines? smile.png

 

Yeah I'm from the philippines. 



#11 AghhNe

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Posted 07 May 2013 - 07:58 AM

Same here. I am a filipino and 16 years old. Acne is so terrible. My main problem is the very dark marks they leave and the icepicks/boxscar. I feel you. Going to school is hard and sometimes and I skip classes sometimes when my acne gets really bad and has this huge cysts with bulging whiteheads all over my face. Sitting beside people who have clear skin makes me nervous lolz. Let's just hope this will one day disappear. Best wishes to you.


Edited by AghhNe, 07 May 2013 - 11:22 AM.


#12 Rocker165

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Posted 08 May 2013 - 09:22 AM

Same here. I am a filipino and 16 years old. Acne is so terrible. My main problem is the very dark marks they leave and the icepicks/boxscar. I feel you. Going to school is hard and sometimes and I skip classes sometimes when my acne gets really bad and has this huge cysts with bulging whiteheads all over my face. Sitting beside people who have clear skin makes me nervous lolz. Let's just hope this will one day disappear. Best wishes to you.

I totally agree with you. I mean its really hard going to school if you have acne. And just like you, I even skipped classes when my acne is at it's worst stage. Not to mention that almost every kid at school bully us because of our skin condition. Have u been to a dermatologist?



#13 Stella the diver

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Posted 10 May 2013 - 08:40 AM

I know exactly how you feel. Just keep in mind that God gives the toughest challenges to His toughest soldiers. God bless! smile.png

I know exactly how you feel. Just keep in mind that God gives the toughest challenges to His toughest soldiers. God bless! smile.png

Btw, are you from the Philippines? smile.png

 

God made us way too beautiful for people around us to handle, so he gave us acne to counterbalance that!


My daily routine: 

 

Morning : Wash face with Cetaphil Oil Control Foam Wash, moisturize with Cetaphil Oil Control Moisturizer w/ spf30

 

Before bedtime: Wash face with Cetaphil Oil Control Foam Wash and apply Tactuo on affected areas

 

Medication: 100 mg Minocycline/day

 

Makeup routine: 

Primer: B.Kamins Corrective Mattifier

Foundation: Mary Kay Timewise Matte-wear foundation

Set: Revlon Photoready Translucent Finisher

 

 

 

 

 


#14 Ghostunit

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Posted 10 May 2013 - 10:15 AM

I went vegan because of acne. Maybe there's something that acne is telling us to do, to make us better than who we are presently. My skin glows now and my acne scars are improving significantly.  When I was your age, I didn't enjoy life. I stayed home gaming all day after school. I did went to school everyday and I was rarely absents!  I feel better since I went vegan. I will never get sick, have diseases and cancers, etc.  I am actually "glad" that I had pimples. I did suffer , but acne made me a bright person and I am the happiest person right now 'cause I eat healthy which makes me happy smile.png.    Good luck with your life!


Edited by Ghostunit, 10 May 2013 - 10:15 AM.

Best way to make your skin smooth and clear eventually:

Plant-based diet is the best medicine for everything.. That's if you consume at least 80% raw, mainly from veggies and fruits.
Exercising: cardio is great for skin and lifting a bit.
Thinking positive and try not to stress or think about acne.

I am doing these and my skin is currently very smooth and clearing up!
I am a vegan raw 100%. I feel better, have more energy, saving animals a year, glow skin, I look younger, etc.

#15 ForQuestions

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Posted 10 May 2013 - 10:26 PM

Well I understand how you feel C:

 

I went through my teenage life with horrible, painful cystic acne.  What made it even worse is no one in my family has acne.  Not my mom, not my dad, both of my little sisters have perfect skin.  So I was the oddball, always wondering "why me."  I realised it was really bad when my DAD even asked me if I washed my face regularly ( not to be rude at all, my entire family was very understanding and was always trying to help me ).  I went through tons of over the counter AND dermatologist products.  Pills, antibiotics, drying and irritating creams, it just made me want to die.  I hated going out in public.  I tried to live in my own little world where people can't see me if I don't look them in the eyes.  I never wanted to be in pictures, I cringed when I'd go to school and catch myself in a bathroom mirror ( Schools have the cruelest lighting )  Plus pretty much every highschool friend I had was clear as a crystal.  I wouldn't even look my boyfriend ( now fiance ) in the eyes, or let him take showers with me for fear of him seeing me all acne covered and without makeup.  I can assure you though, it does get better.

 

If you're looking for any advice, I'd be glad to help.  I'm a 20 year old girl and have been completely acne free for about 3 years now.  I can not tell you how wonderful of a feeling it is.  I don't have a diet, I exercise regularly.  And I only put 2 whole things on my face to clean it.  I use just plain quaker oats and a moisturizer.  Here's my thread if you're interested: www.acne.org/messageboard/topic/328758-best-method-i-ever-tried/

 

I pretty much am never going back to regular cleansers.  As for the products your derm gave you, the 3rd time I went to the derm and got perscriped stuff, I just threw it all out a month or so in.  It wasn't helping, it was making me WORSE.  Dry, itchy, red, inflamed.  My skin probably hated me for each derm visit I took.  I also noticed the more products I used that were MEANT to treat acne, the worse it got.  So I tried looking for gentler, regular every day cleansers with no acne fighting ingredients.  After I found Cetaphil and my face calmed down to light acne, I was happy for awhile.  But I'd still get painful pimples.  So now, I've dumped all my chemical cleansers and toners and scrubs.  I'm now completely and forever on the all natural DIY face care bandwagon.  I couldn't be happier.  No acne, NO scars, no dryness, it's like a dream!

 

Anyway, I wish the best for you and hope my post helped.  If you feel at your rope's end, I suggest trying the oatmeal method in my post, and looking around on the web for all natural ways of cleaning your face.  I mean, it's all natural ingredients, the worst it can do is just not work.  Good luck!



#16 AghhNe

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Posted 17 May 2013 - 09:01 AM

Same here. I am a filipino and 16 years old. Acne is so terrible. My main problem is the very dark marks they leave and the icepicks/boxscar. I feel you. Going to school is hard and sometimes and I skip classes sometimes when my acne gets really bad and has this huge cysts with bulging whiteheads all over my face. Sitting beside people who have clear skin makes me nervous lolz. Let's just hope this will one day disappear. Best wishes to you.

I totally agree with you. I mean its really hard going to school if you have acne. And just like you, I even skipped classes when my acne is at it's worst stage. Not to mention that almost every kid at school bully us because of our skin condition. Have u been to a dermatologist?

No, i haven't gone to a dermatologist. I don't believe in those harmful chemicals. Especially BP. BP prolongs my red marks and brown marks soo much. Tbh, i don't like taking a lot of drugs since i believe in natural is better. I prefer using the least harmful and risky products when it comes to my skin. I have tried BP, Salicylic acid, basically a lot of cleansers. None worked. I am currently using Beauche and I try to be gentle to my skin as much as possible. it has improved but still bad since i have a lot of brown marks and now that some of my acne subsided i can see some scars. Pretty depressing, BUT I heard that acne scars do fill in especially that mine are still fresh. THe DEEP ones do not fill in though. By deep i mean those that are wide and you can feel the depression or the ones that are narrow but you can't even see the base of the scar all you see is blackness like a cockroach can lay eggs in it without you knowing.