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Reasons Not To Pick

dermatillomania skin picking recovery acne

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#1 thatwillnotfly

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 05:20 PM

I decided a couple of days ago to make a commitment not to pick at my skin anymore. And as I was thinking through how to do that, I wrote down all of the reasons that drive me toward picking at my skin. And then I wrote rebuttals to them. I posted them on my blog, but I wanted to share them here, too. Getting through these last couple of days has been torture, because I have a couple of picked-at spots that are scabbing over and irritating me to no end. So here are the thoughts that drive me to pick, and my reasons for rejecting them, as I would articulate them today. 

  • Clear skin is beautiful, and acne is disgusting--if my face has acne, then I am disgusting
    • Clear skin is pain-free and healthy, but a person's value is not determined by the health of his or her skin. Acne is irritating and can be painful, and it is very hard to get rid of, but this does not make it disgusting. It is just what it is. I can choose to set aside my revulsion, and reserve my energy for other things.
  • Acne is a punishment for not doing everything right
    • I am not perfect, but I do not deserve my acne. No, not even if I choose to have bangs, or eat a cookie, or even if I pick at my face. These things do not make me a bad person, and acne is not a punishment for doing them, even if these things increase my risk of breaking out.
  • It’s not fair that I get acne, because I try so hard
    • It's not fair, but life is not fair. I am still responsible for trying my best. (But this is all I am responsible for. I am not responsible for being perfect, or for the fact that I have acne.)
  • If I leave it alone, it’s never going to get better
    • Yes, it will. It won't get better immediately, or even tomorrow, but it will get better in the long run. I must be patient, and I must make the decision to be patient over and over and over again.
  • If I succeed in picking at it, then it’s better immediately
    • This is an illusion, akin to drinking sea water or paying for something I can't afford using a credit card with a very high interest rate. It's going to cost more in the long run.
  • I deserve to be ashamed of the picked wounds I cause
    • There is no shame in not being perfect. If I picked at my skin, I need to let it go. I can choose to do better, from this moment forward, and this is the only thing I can do .
  • I am destined to pick at my skin
    • No, I'm not. The end. 


#2 Sum1killme

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 08:19 PM

This is confusing man.

#3 Frank*L

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Posted 07 May 2013 - 09:00 PM

Thanks for sharing. Honestly the main reason why you shouldn't pick your skin is acne scars. They suck.



#4 elliew8

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 04:27 AM

Good luck with this...I've been trying for years, every now and then I stop for a while but eventually I start up again :( hope these statements help you to stick to not picking...I don't know if this is the same for other pickers but I've noticed that the happier I am, the less I pick...when I'm feeling carefree and have a massive spot that needs to be picked, I just pick it and forget about it, as opposed to then looking for other things to start picking...

Also my boyfriend mentioned that he's noticed I pick more around the time of the month (probably the bloating and painful cramps making me miserable) so maybe it's the same for you...if so then maybe setting yourself a target for that week to only look at your skin at least a metre away from the mirror in the mornings and at night?

I try and concentrate on other things when I look in the mirror to try and be more 'normal' as well, just check there's nothing in your teeth, no boogers in the nostrils and no gunk in the corner of your eyes...it actually helps me because then I'm not so focused on my acne and tend to look at my face as a whole.



#5 MJRI94

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 07:40 AM

Good post, picking is something I just cannot stop though... I've picked at my skin everyday for years and years. I've got some scars from it but how I don't have scarring everywhere I do not know! Its worth leaving it alone since it goes quicker but I just cannot leave those suckers alone...



#6 thatwillnotfly

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 05:10 PM

Good post, picking is something I just cannot stop though... I've picked at my skin everyday for years and years. I've got some scars from it but how I don't have scarring everywhere I do not know! Its worth leaving it alone since it goes quicker but I just cannot leave those suckers alone...

 

I am so sorry, because I know exactly what you're going through. I do have to say this though: you might notice that the very last "reason not to pick" that I posted is essentially a rebuttal to the voice in my head that says, "you're destined to pick." When you say "I just cannot stop," I hear this belief echoed. The truth is, really really, that you can stop. In fact, if you want to stop, you must absolutely take the leap of faith and believe that stopping is possible. 
 

You can stop, but you have work through the other things that drive you to pick at your skin. Once overcoming them becomes more important to you than the relief you get from picking your skin, stopping is just a matter of making that decision over and over and over again. It's hard and it's awful, especially at first, but it can be done. I have made it now far longer than I ever thought possible (like two weeks--this is a huge, huge deal for me.)

 

[Strong belief that stopping is possible] + [Strong belief that stopping is worth it] = Stopped.






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