I've had acne since I was twelve years old, and next month I will be turning twenty-five. After thirteen years of breakouts, my skin is a disaster, and I am terrified of what I'll look like when I get older. My acne has never gotten any better as I got older, despite countless trips to the dermatologist in high school and trying every possible treatment under the sun. I now have health insurance that won't cover any sort of dermatologic intervention, so even if there was a solution, I wouldn't be able to afford it.
I am so depressed that I try to avoid looking in mirrors. I have terrible eye contact because I don't want people looking at my face. Maybe if it wasn't for my acne I wouldn't be so ugly, but as it stands I am really, really unattractive. It feels very shameful, both to have spent the majority of my life covered in zits and to be so upset about it. It feels like I'm being stupid and vain.
People are clearly turned off by my acne. I've overheard people say that I might be pretty if it "wasn't for [my] skin."
I hate my face, and I hate myself for letting it get to me so much.
Does anyone else out there relate to this? It feels like I'm all alone. All my friends' acne cleared up five years ago...