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I'm Damaged For Life


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#21 Randall Flagg

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Posted 21 March 2013 - 03:57 PM

The issue is confidence. Women are turned off by non-confident guys. The opposite is probably true to some degree, but in general, I think it's easier for women to get away with being less confident because more men tend to want to be the powerful one in the relationship. A lot of women also want a strong, powerful man. When a guy is really self conscious about his appearance, he doesn't feel powerful and we can tell. The guys I dated that had cystic acne or body acne never seemed to care and were VERY confident with me. As in, smile across the party, strut over, grab my ass and carry me out to the dance floor sort of confident. You know? I guarantee that is what is putting girls off of you guys, not acne or anything else about the way you look.

 

Now...how those guys were so confident despite having bad acne is beyond me. I haven't accomplished that myself so I can't tell anyone else how to accomplish it.

 

I understand your thought process here, but at the same time it's very discouraging for a guy with skin issues to hear something this. It's often mentioned that girls are turned off by guys who lack confidence, and I get that, gender roles being what they are and everything. But what that tells me is that if I meet a girl I should just fake confidence throughout the relationship, project myself as this big tough, powerful dude just exuding machismo...and that's basically the key to the whole situation? I'd be lying to myself and the girl if I do that, and plus it makes the whole scenario seem hopeless to me because it tells me that I can never actually confide in this woman about my own insecurities and how skin issues makes me feel...instead I have to be this perfect image of masculinity that doesn't feel emotions and just swallows it all down to ensure that she remains attracted to me. I want a relationship where I can actually find a girl who trusts me enough to share any personal insecurities she has with herself...and at the exact same time I'd like to be able to share my own flaws with her.

 

Don't get me wrong, I highly respect your opinions and you're one of the coolest people on this site, I just think the whole acne thing and the emotional baggage that comes along with it can sometimes be perceived differently from both a male and female perspective. It's interesting to get a viewpoint from both genders on a discussion like this. 


Daily Regimen:
-Clean and Clear Foaming Cleanser
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-Jojoba oil as moisturizer
 
Nightly Regimen:
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My Regimen Log: http://www.acne.org/...gs-regimen-log/
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


#22 dejaclairevoyant

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Posted 21 March 2013 - 04:54 PM

The issue is confidence. Women are turned off by non-confident guys. The opposite is probably true to some degree, but in general, I think it's easier for women to get away with being less confident because more men tend to want to be the powerful one in the relationship. A lot of women also want a strong, powerful man. When a guy is really self conscious about his appearance, he doesn't feel powerful and we can tell. The guys I dated that had cystic acne or body acne never seemed to care and were VERY confident with me. As in, smile across the party, strut over, grab my ass and carry me out to the dance floor sort of confident. You know? I guarantee that is what is putting girls off of you guys, not acne or anything else about the way you look.

 

Now...how those guys were so confident despite having bad acne is beyond me. I haven't accomplished that myself so I can't tell anyone else how to accomplish it.

 

I understand your thought process here, but at the same time it's very discouraging for a guy with skin issues to hear something this. It's often mentioned that girls are turned off by guys who lack confidence, and I get that, gender roles being what they are and everything. But what that tells me is that if I meet a girl I should just fake confidence throughout the relationship, project myself as this big tough, powerful dude just exuding machismo...and that's basically the key to the whole situation? I'd be lying to myself and the girl if I do that, and plus it makes the whole scenario seem hopeless to me because it tells me that I can never actually confide in this woman about my own insecurities and how skin issues makes me feel...instead I have to be this perfect image of masculinity that doesn't feel emotions and just swallows it all down to ensure that she remains attracted to me. I want a relationship where I can actually find a girl who trusts me enough to share any personal insecurities she has with herself...and at the exact same time I'd like to be able to share my own flaws with her.

 

Don't get me wrong, I highly respect your opinions and you're one of the coolest people on this site, I just think the whole acne thing and the emotional baggage that comes along with it can sometimes be perceived differently from both a male and female perspective. It's interesting to get a viewpoint from both genders on a discussion like this. 

 

Thanks! (for the coolest person comment hehe) I didn't mean not to be yourself and pretend that you don't have any problems or anything. I know a lot of sweet, sensitive guys who are happy and confident and not necessarily "manly" or whatever. I was just trying to make everyone feel better because they may not be able to change acne, but they can change the way they carry themselves (it's hard, but possible at least). Maybe "happy" would be a better word to use than "confident."


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Morning:

Gentle wash with DKR cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil (The  lotion alone wasn't hydrating enough)

Skin 79 Korean BB Cream (excellent stuff)

 

Evening:

Gentle Wash with DKR Cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil

 


#23 DamnLife

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Posted 21 March 2013 - 05:40 PM

 

 

 

 

AlexanderJ86 I'm doing a lot of research on this but I end up at "scars are permanent" sure I'll fight the rest of my life with scars. 

I have confidence as long as I'm with my shirt on, without the shirt I feel worthless,and I have been told by girls I'm good looking etc. but first I need to make these scars as flat as possible before getting tattoo I guess this will help.

What about Accutane?

Accutane works for acne not for scars...

Well I have been on accutane for 3 months acne gone but left scars.

So what have you tried or what did you want to try? (Creams, laser, etc)

So far I have tried Steroid injections (triamcinolone acetonide) and IPL-intense pulsed laser I have about 10-20% of improvement right now.

I don't bother with creams they simply don't work, well they do but they would give me 5% of improvement.

Plastic surgeons said nothing can be done, dermatoligst said that she can improve my scars but I won't get dramatic results that I expect.

Edit: I might try some stuff called "agnijith" when I'm finished with my injections 2 of them left.

Ok, I would like to know the results smile.png

I have acne (and scarring) on my back that is worse than yours.

Well that's gonna take some time till I try agnijith, but I'll definitely let you know my results :)

And if you have the same type of scarring as I do it's called hypertrophic scars (raised) not the keloids.


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#24 Clarence C

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Posted 21 March 2013 - 11:23 PM

Hey man i could relate how you feel with this problem, myself i have acne problem on my face for years, its takes me courage to finally approach the dermatologist for treatment, and for the past year my acne problem have improve alot & almost clear.

 

Never give up in seeking the right treatment...  



#25 kelseylee

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 02:11 AM

I feel like wounded animal and worthless

 

I have felt like this too.

 

Honestly if looks like your scares aren't even totally healed yet...it makes me sad/uneasy to see you going so crazy with so many "treatments" to "fix" them. Just let your skin heal fully until you can actually attempt some cosmetic alterations. Otherwise you might be making them worse in a way by not giving them their full healing potential. Seriously, nobody romantically will care about this. The guy who broke my heart and who I obsessed over had face and bacne, with scars, and I was obsessed with him. I dated really conventionally good looking athletic guys before him who never even mattered to me, so this is like the reverse of what you guys are saying.

 

It's seriously not as important as you think it is right now, but that's not to diminish how you feel...I totally get it and these feelings are strong and terrifying. I have wept and obsessed my fair share. Honestly I think it is deeper emotions you're dealing with, possibly unrelated to acne, and you're using these scars as an outlet to express your mental anguish. sorry if i'm overstepping my boundaries here but just want to suggest an alternative so maybe you can stop focusing so much on this external factor. maybe it is your fear of putting yourself out there romantically, and rejection, that is speaking through this scar angst. I have looked at pictures of myself before I was "broken" and fucked up with skin issues and felt that same pain of why can't I look like I used to. But hey, life changes, it can't stay one way forever, everything has culminated into this very moment and what choice do we really have but to accept it? we can continue to find against reality, but that just hurts more.

 

I have a huge scar on the back of my leg from accidentally kicking in a glass door. Never once did I worry about it cosmetically, even tho it's huge--however a tiny expanded pore on my face can have me in tears, so hey I really understand. Please try to get some rest, tlc, and work on positive self talk and loving yourself. All the red marks will be gone and the raised scars will turn white and be barely visible. patience. 


Edited by kelseylee, 22 March 2013 - 02:13 AM.


#26 DamnLife

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 04:06 AM

Thank you for your courage everyone!
Kelseylee, the front photo was made just after the treatment, my scars healed since then and looks just a bit better.

imag0311v.jpg


Height: 6,2 (187cm)

Weight: 176 goal - 165 I want my six pack abs <3


#27 Simple dreams

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 04:04 PM

Man, sorry, but having some moderate acne on body that you can permanently treat within a month is just not fair to talk about it. My acne is on face, all over my face, I cant hide it under clothes, you are so lucky that you can go across the steet without thinking why GOD gave me this punishment, that ruined my life. Just think about it. :)



#28 DamnLife

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 05:30 AM

Man, sorry, but having some moderate acne on body that you can permanently treat within a month is just not fair to talk about it. My acne is on face, all over my face, I cant hide it under clothes, you are so lucky that you can go across the steet without thinking why GOD gave me this punishment, that ruined my life. Just think about it. smile.png

"but having some moderate acne on body that you can permanently treat within a month is just not fair to talk about it" Well you are right and wrong...

first it's not ACNE it's SCARS http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scar

second I don't understand what's the point of posting if you haven't red the whole post?

and third I'm sorry to hear about your facial acne, but you can't say my case is better right? yes I can hide it, but these THINGS (scars) are not going anywhere "you can permanently treat within a month" thank you again for not reading my post :) I have been treating them for almost a year :)


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#29 deletethisshit

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 09:47 AM

Not sure if you have marks on your face or not -_-

 

But if not, just be happy that it's not on the part that every1 sees

 

Don't take life too seriously, none of us make it out alive


*Moderator edit,  – please read the board rules*


#30 LewisS

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 11:04 AM

I've seen people with much more severe acne scarring. I bet nobody even notices, I wouldn't and even if I did I wouldn't see them negatively.

 

I guess it's psychological and that's something I do understand because  I refuse to take my shirt off due to weight. Even though I've lost tons of weight, I still have it in my head that people will stare.

 

Trust me, compared to how you see it close-up in a mirror will be almost unnoticeable to others. Try and slowly build up your confidence by building up how long you go shirtless for. Good luck :) 



#31 sleptember

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 11:36 AM

DamnLife,

 

As a scarred individual, I understand your pain, frustration, and misery.

 

Let's assume the scars will never fade. So now you have two choices: 1. Feel bad about it forever or 2. Accept it.

 

You will regret option one. You will look back on your life and hate yourself for missing out on opportunities and letting life slip by.

 

That leaves option two. Acceptance is not easy but it's what you have to do. Acceptance doesn't take one day. It's a process. Acceptance means going to the beach without a shirt even though its hard and you feel self-conscious. Acceptance means asking out that girl even though you feel nervous. Acceptance means looking at yourself in the mirror and loving who you are no matter what you look like.

 

It's not easy at all but you have to do it - sometimes you even have to force it and fake it. But you have to do it. The scars are there but you need to live your life and you need to be happy. Make this happen.



#32 DamnLife

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 02:06 PM

DamnLife,

 

As a scarred individual, I understand your pain, frustration, and misery.

 

Let's assume the scars will never fade. So now you have two choices: 1. Feel bad about it forever or 2. Accept it.

 

You will regret option one. You will look back on your life and hate yourself for missing out on opportunities and letting life slip by.

 

That leaves option two. Acceptance is not easy but it's what you have to do. Acceptance doesn't take one day. It's a process. Acceptance means going to the beach without a shirt even though its hard and you feel self-conscious. Acceptance means asking out that girl even though you feel nervous. Acceptance means looking at yourself in the mirror and loving who you are no matter what you look like.

 

It's not easy at all but you have to do it - sometimes you even have to force it and fake it. But you have to do it. The scars are there but you need to live your life and you need to be happy. Make this happen.

I'm taking option three, if another surgeon won't cut them out I'm doing this myself :)

I'm not a type of person who gives up and accepts imperfections like this, I'll not accept myself like this and it's about time to treat my scars like they do treat me.


Height: 6,2 (187cm)

Weight: 176 goal - 165 I want my six pack abs <3


#33 coolstorm8

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Posted 25 October 2013 - 02:02 AM

Have you Tried Agnijith..??? Please let me know of its results...



#34 Stella the diver

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Posted 25 October 2013 - 07:28 PM

I have horrible raised scars all over my back and shoulders too! Some of them are red, most are dark-brown. 

One thing that really helped me was Hydroval which is a topical cream (prescribed by doctor). It completely flattened and lightened my scars. Maybe you should ask your doctor about it.


My daily routine: 

 

Morning : Wash face with Cetaphil Oil Control Foam Wash, moisturize with Cetaphil Oil Control Moisturizer w/ spf30

 

Before bedtime: Wash face with Cetaphil Oil Control Foam Wash and apply Tactuo on affected areas

 

Medication: 100 mg Minocycline/day

 

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Primer: B.Kamins Corrective Mattifier

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#35 BlackStar85

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Posted 26 October 2013 - 10:57 AM

Few people on the board here saying the guy shouldnt go on so much cause its not on his face - his body is still scarred! Yeah he can hide it but its still his body, it still affects him and interferes with his life..scarring on face can be covered with concealer but its still gonna bother you, its still gonna be under there...so thats not fair guys!

Dude my advice if you meet a girl let her see right away, dont make a big issue of it just tell her show her and most girls actually wont care were all about the feelings guys mostly judge on appearance (sorry guys but you do) and those girls that bother will no doubt resemble a member of the ladyboys of bangcok or be highly vain. The problem isnt other people the problem is how you see yourself. You get two types of people, those than can deal and those that cant. Some folk with acne can get on with life and still have confidence and battle on but some hide away, let it affect their whole lives, mood and state of mind. Im the exact same I have active acne at the moment dont want to even leave the house so I'm where you are kinda losing all hope of getting on with this life nonsense cause its worsening by the day but I know the meds will kick in eventually but even when my skin is clear I still find fault especially with the scarring but when i will look into scarring treatment when the time comes. Even with treatment the scars wont dissapear but they will fade. Ive learned its kinda myself that makes it worse by obessessing over. Dont ask me how but you need to find a way to say fuck it...i got scars whatever and get on with your life so sorting your head out will help, its going about sorting it out thats the hard part.

Thats what this place is here for to come vent and speak to people who know what its like.......take care of yourself

S x



#36 providermr

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Posted 27 October 2013 - 01:49 PM

You look good to be honest no homo.




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