(How Acne Affected My Life) & I Want To Believe That I Can Live With My Acne, But Another Part Tells Me The Opposite And Sends Me To Tears

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You know, there are happy days when miraculously, I don't have acne anymore. I keep thinking, "It's gonna be like this forever. I'm done." I run to the swimming pool and remain naked as long as I can. But those days are few. The other days, I avoid social encounters, sexual encounters, encounters that require me to take of my shirt (I get acne all over, face, back, chest, I'm hideous). And I simply hate other people. I know only one other person in the whole university, in the whole city that gets acne. I hate the people with good skin. Please don't judge me. I can't help it.

What I do is, I feel helpless, since in 2 year, I'll have had acne for 10 years. I've been dealing with acne for a decade!!!

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I hate life. I hate God, if he exists, and I would rather die. I simply don't want to live like this anymore. And the people who say, "it will be all right when you grow up" can all burn in hell. You have your perfect skin, and you think telling me I should wait a few years is OK? You told me that 8 years ago? What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you say the same thing 8 years later? I hate you. I hate everybody who has good skin. I hate them, OK? I don't know why. But I do. I want all of them to get acne and be as depressed as I am. I hate being in this boat all alone. Why do I have to be the one person who gets it? Why WHY WHY?

Maybe one day they will go away, but who's going to remove the damn scars?

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Hi

To get rid of acne please try this..

Wash your face with apple cider vinegar everyday. It will kill the bacteria on your skin and will clear your skin in a few days.

You can dilute it with water if u want it to be little milder.Apple cider vinegar changes the ph level of the skin.Thus there will no bacteria on the skin and no pimples.

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I feel the exact same way. I find myself crying every night about my acne and how I am so ashamed to have a face like mine. I envy anyone with clear skin and often pray for flawless skin. You're not alone, I know how you feel!

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Wow i can't tell you how happy i am to know that im not the only one who goes through this...im not saying im happy u guys are going through this though. Ive had acne for years i swear ive tried everything im currently trying this Aveeno product doesnt seem to be working but im just so over this acne thing

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There is not a single day that I didn't wish for my acne to go away. I used to talk a lot to people around me. I just love talking and interacting with others. But, acne came to my life and since then, I tried my hardest not to talk face to face with someone because their eyes show that they don't really see me. They only see my acne.

You guys are all strong! Just reading your posts encouraged me. It's a really tough journey, but I am on my way to accepting my flaws. Have hope!


Never give up!


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I thought somehow someone was telling MY story while reading the whole beginning of this. I changed washes, it got worse. I switched back, it stayed getting worse. I went to a dermatologist, it didn't work. Changed my medicines, it kind of worked but came back a little, switched again and it cleared up the bumps although i had a ton of redness. That slowly faded, but i still deal with smaller bumps here and there. I guess i can't complain because i remember how bad it was just in October. . I don't know what happened. I had clear skin in high school as well. I'm almost 23 and deal with it more than i ever have. Everything you said sounded like someone got on here and made a page about me... I was a little scared reading at first. I feel like it holds me back too. I never really had friends maybe a couple but i was fine with it... And now that i have had acne a lot worse, i wonder if that's why i never had friends? People usually always like me, i'm nice, i'm funny, i'm shy at first but i've never heard anyone speak badly about me...I am just more of a loner... You can live with it, sometimes i feel i have no choice. But then i think i remember seeing other kids in high school who had it SO bad, unbelievably bad.... and i've seen them now and holy cow i just wanna ask them what did they do? But back in high school i didn't have it so they'd probably not take my question seriously as i do deal with it now. You probably won't see this because i found this post and saw it was posted back in 2013 but it feels good to reply to someone who is in a way battling like i am still/was. It can get better, but also always get worse. You can just cope with it and hope it gets better. I never wear make up, i wash my face once a day, i used to 3 times but my skin was beautiful then...

All i can say is don't let it hold u back. There's so much i think i've missed out on due to being negative towards others (because of my skin) didn't wanna be around anyone because of it and if i had no choice, i was rude a lot to them..

It can get better, i promise.

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This is gonna be long one, so those who are patient enough can read. But i would rather say skip it, since its mostly me taking out my frustration by writing.

The one who started this topic is no longer active it seems. But thank you for showing your feelings. I am 21. 21? Huh. I always had nice beautiful skin, girls liked talking to me, you are cute, handsome, good looking. I got everything, every single compliment. I was a jerk, a real jerk. I was arrogant and thought that i am really smart and all and small things ticked me off too. But ever since turning 21 i was bombared with pus acne, i tried over the counter products for 1 week and started looking so bad that even my family members got scared by a sight of me one day. That was the worst day of my life. I had many embarrassing moments in my life, many. But i am ready to experience even 10x worse embarrassing situations than them if i could get my clear face back in return for it. I went to a dermatologist he gave me some multivitamins and amoxicillin for 2 months. Within 1 week my pus acne were gone, all that was left were bad red marks (post inflammatory hyperpigmentation). I shut myself from entire world in my room feeling sorry for myself and told everyone that i have skin infection in order to avoid any social encounters. But life isn't going to wait for me so exams started and i had to go back to college with bad hyperpigmentation on my face, interviews for internship started which i so wanted to avoid but was forced to go there since they are mandatory this year it did felt horrible since some of my friends who used to say to me that you are really good looking asking what happened to you? And calling you by pimple face. I used lemon juice, honey for red marks for around month and one day i felt more burning sensation than usual with lemon and behold i got some small circular pits on my face. well when i was a teenager i was a diet freak and didn't eat much junk food. But after going to college i excercised and had junk food on a daily basis thinking that i won't get fat if i will excercise and acne started appearing. During my antibiotics phase i was eating only healthy food, fruits and non fatty food, no sugar. But one day same inflammatory pimples came and i said what the hell, if i am going to look ugly, i might as well eat what i like rather eating those fruits and stuff that were not tasty and some of the healthy food that i had was so bad that i felt like puking while taking one bite of food. So back to the story, enough with detours, i had fatty tasty chips, rice and all fatty things. 2 months passed and i was taking my medicine. On my visit to dermatologist my mom asked him that his acne is gone for more than 2 months should we stop these medicines? He said he looks great right now but chances are they are most likely to appear soon. I took the chance and stopped my medications, since i heard that taking antibiotics for long time will do more harm than good to the body, 1 month passed without anything bad happening without my multivitamins and antibiotics and i was obsessed with small scaring that was now visible with fading of those red marks. But when i finally got over the mental trauma of those scars. New pimples came, i thought they maybe normal. But then next day few more came and next day more came, some of them turned into pus pimples. And i freaked out like hell because i know that pimples are normal but not pus ones because they gave me year long gift of red marks, year long i say is because red marks stays for months even for 1 year. I rushed to the pharmacist and got myself the same antibiotics and multivitamins since i have my internship interviews yet again so i can't meet that same dermatologist who is only available on Thursdays and Saturdays. These pimples were persistent, not going away and staying the same. But after taking the medicines they are reducing in size. Although i don't know why but i am still getting new pimples everyday, every single day. Yes i agree that for past 10 days i was eating sugary stuff and more junk food than usual. So now i am back to sqaure one with new hyperpigmentation of pimples, new pimples greeting me hello just about everyday. And i feel like shit since i don't wanna go out but this stupid mandatory internship isn't allowing me to hide in my house. I think of dying every single moment. How i curse myself on what a ignorant, bad person i was who got easily frustrated from small things and didn't cherish acne free face and thanked god for it. I hate god now, if he is there. I too want everybody around me to get acne so they can experience what it feels to be like this. I too now stare at people looking for scars and pimples on their faces which i never did when i had clear face. Acne is just wrong, really wrong. I also wish for any accident which could instantly kill me so that this suffering could just end.

Sorry for being such a brat and bad person who is nothing but a sore loser who has given up and thinks his outer appearance matters more than how i am from inside.

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Hello,

I am struggling with acne too, all over my forehead.

I'm guessing this is just because of puberty, but I'm fourteen, is that normal?

I'm feeling really stressed about it, and reading other articles on it makes me feel better. And I too, wanted to tell people how I felt about my acne. Because the occasional commentary on it made me very self-conscious. Having a crush on a boy only makes it a million times worse. Knowing that, he can't possibly like you. Because, look at you. You look gross.

So, I tried wearing hats. In the winter, I'd wear the beanies. The hats that cover your whole entire forehead and conceal everything. I was "ok" with my acne, but whenever I'd take off the hat, I'd feel horrible about myself. In the spring I'd wear the baseball caps. I looked fine in them, I told myself, but they just shaded the acne. And I wanted it gone. Here I am now, summertime, and I dislike the baseball caps. I dislike the sun exposing my forehead. Plus I have an oily/shiny forehead that reflects everything. I avoid mirrors. If I look ugly in it, I turn away. I tell myself that I'm "ok", I'm not. I only look at mirrors with good-lighting around, so I don't feel self-conscious.

Every day, I look at a mirror that I look good in. I smile, and then I avoid every other mirror that I see. So I only remember my good-looking self. I feel less self-conscious about my acne now. I try and focus on the good things now. Like the fact that it's not on my cheeks, that it doesn't cover my whole entire head, just the center, that it's not huge.

Oh well.

Don't conceal it with hats, just forget all about that.

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Good for you katiekates that you have a positive attitude, if you have acne on your forehead then why don't you try bangs look, it looks good and you can easily hide those acne as well. And as far as boy crush goes. Let me tell you being a boy myself, dating a girl with acne isn't something that i would ever mind. So i don't think so that most of the boys would mind that much as well. Keep up your positive attitude ☺

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I totally feel you ! When I was reading your story I felt like i wrote this myself . I am 23 years old and I have been dealing with acne for over a decade now . Acne for sure ruined my teenage years. In middle school i had no self-esteem whatsoever .. My friends and even family members would make fun of me. They would look at me with disgust and ask me why I had so many zits on my face. I had moderate to severe acne in middle school . Going into high was the same. I wanted to be popular , known , and that guy everybody looked up too. Hey, maybe even become homecoming king or prom king, but acne and scars held me back from pursuing my goals. It made me extremely self conscious about myself and had no friends. Just aquaintaces. I was miserable and depressed . Around my senior year my acne was suprisingly getting better. It made me hopeful . Going into college i started getting these scars called "hypertrophic scars". These are raised scars cause by wounds or in my case, acne. I started getting them in my chest and shoulder area . Great... Now I have something else I have to deal with . This made everything worse and extremely depressed . I have acne, acne scars, and now hypertrophic scars. it sucks because I can't take my shirt off in front anybody . I can't imagine what someone would say if they saw me without a shirt. I know people that freak out just because they have a small little pimple in their foreheads. It sucks it really does, but I accepted it and I'm learning to live with it. Yea I still trip about it , but it is what it is. I don't take anything for granted now. If somehow tomorrow I magically wake up with clear skin I will be the happiest man in the world . Anyways, I know what your are going through and it sucks , but I know your a strong girl and you will get through this. Just don't let your acne, people , or even your own family get to you. You will get through this and just don't ever give up ! Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk ! I'm here for emotional support ! Good luck !

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EVERYONE USE LEMON JUCIE FOR 3 MONTHS FOR ACNE SCARS AND BIRTH CONTROL FOR ANCE BUMPS

well i honestly can relate to you OMGGGGGG

I JUST WANNA SCREAM HOW MUCH I RELATE TO ALL OF U

I cant even live my life the way i really want to. when i had a bf i had to keep my clothes on during sex it was soooooo embarressing.

at home is the only place wear tang tops

and im even embarresssed around my family. i feel like they feel sorry for me.

i had these acne scars for 3 years im 21 now.

and everytime i think i found a way it comes rite back. cus i get more bumps.

n sometimes i feel sad cus i get aniexty about it like hmmm the minute this clears up i bet when i go outside ill die or sumthing bad would happen just so i would be able to enjoy clear skin.

THE MOST EMBARASSING THING IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO AVIOD FRIENDS AND THEY THINK SONEYHINGS WRONG WITH U i had someone ask me if I HAVE AIDS R SUMTHING CUS I KEEP HIDING FROM THEM

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EVERYONE USE LEMON JUCIE FOR 3 MONTHS FOR ACNE SCARS AND BIRTH CONTROL FOR ANCE BUMPS

well i honestly can relate to you OMGGGGGG

I JUST WANNA SCREAM HOW MUCH I RELATE TO ALL OF U

I cant even live my life the way i really want to. when i had a bf i had to keep my clothes on during sex it was soooooo embarressing.

at home is the only place wear tang tops

and im even embarresssed around my family. i feel like they feel sorry for me.

i had these acne scars for 3 years im 21 now.

and everytime i think i found a way it comes rite back. cus i get more bumps.

n sometimes i feel sad cus i get aniexty about it like hmmm the minute this clears up i bet when i go outside ill die or sumthing bad would happen just so i would be able to enjoy clear skin.

THE MOST EMBARASSING THING IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO AVIOD FRIENDS AND THEY THINK SONEYHINGS WRONG WITH U i had someone ask me if I HAVE AIDS R SUMTHING CUS I KEEP HIDING FROM THEM

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its so embarresing that you cant even talk to anyone about

my friend literly thinks i hate her cus ive been avioding her for months

tearing up*

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Reading everyone's stories mirrors my own, but the funny thing is I never see people that have acne around me. In a population of around 100, I can only ever notice maybe 5 that have anything mild to severe, to put this in perspective. It's like I'm some alien. Sure, my acne isn't as terrible as it could be, or so I've told myself for the past five years, but coincidentally, it's only managed to get worse, almost like if "god" is real, he has a sick sense of humor and doesn't mind torturing those who suffer. I can remember being fourteen and getting my first pimple, feeling completely ugly and knowing people in school were looking at it. What I wouldn't fathom is just how much worse my skin would get over the years. And it's not like I spent every waking second squeezing bacon grease into my skin and chugging candy flavored milk while sweating my ass off. So why, I'd ask myself. Hormones, puberty, genetics? Nobody in my family has ever experienced acne like this, and if it were puberty; at least make me grow over 6ft, at least give me big hands, long legs, a nice jawline to accompany this downright pain to experience disease. The more I stress out, the more acne I get, which causes an overabundance of stress. No home remedies have worked, no store-bought medicines that advertise how they'll fix your life have worked, and unlike most here, who have convenient access to a dermatologist, I don't have coverage and it would cost hundreds. Telling people you know only makes you come off more alienated and like you pity yourself. From a friend's point of view, they'll chuck it up to saying "Awww, I'm sorry", and they feel as though they've done their part. They don't have to help, because it's not happening to them, they can go out and attend limitless social occasions, eat as they please and feel stress-free. The amount of frustration, pain, and depression that this disease causes is unreal, and so I know what everyone in this forum goes through. I've developed so many ice pick scars within a year, cysts within two, and an army's worth of pimples over the course of five years that acne has simply become my life. So much so that, six hours before work when I should be sleeping, I have to browse the internet for hours, searching for solutions that work for others but not myself. I honestly used to be the good-looking guy of the group, and I don't want to sound full of myself, because it's impossible to be anymore. I don't want to be this bitter person, who begrudges his friends and family who go to sleep smiling, care-free of their physical impurities; and if so, they don't involve big red blotchy bumps and scars all over their face and neck. If I'm ever healed, and those that I come to know; future family, friends, even spouse have this, my solution won't be to say "Awww, I'm sorry. Hope it all gets better." It'll be, "Let's find you coverage and a professional opinion. Let's try things. Let's see to it you don't feel alone, like nobody gives a crap, knowing it'll only get worse." I want to be healed, I want everyone here to be healed. I want this to stop consuming my life. We all have enough regular day-to-day problems for this to be an issue, and it shouldn't be something we think determines the quality of ourselves as people. No more worrying about our appearances during interviews, or family gatherings, or interacting with those we want to just see us for how astoundingly cool we can be, and yes, even good-looking. If anyone here feels how I feel, feel free to message me, as I'm sure I'll be on this journey for a long time, and if I can help in any way, I most certainly will.

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I must say that this post brought me to tears. I feel the exact same way you're feeling. Middle school was awful for me. I constantly got taunted for my skin. I finally went on Minocycline and Epiduo which worked like a charm. Junior and senior year of high school my skin was CRYSTAL clear. My diet was horrible. I was constantly eating sugar, chocolate, etc. and not a single blemish on my face. Then, college happened. The acne started to slowly come back. I had stopped taking the Minocycline and stopped using Epiduo because I thought I didn't need it anymore. My skin just got worse and worse as time went on. I finally went back to my dermatologist and got prescribed Epiduo once again - except this time, my experience wasn't so great. I'm currently on week 10, and my skin looks 10 times worse than before - constantly getting new blemishes, constantly wanting to hide from everyone. I constantly accuse my boyfriend of cheating on me and wanting to leave me because of my skin. I can't live with myself. I feel as if everything I'm doing for my skin is wrong and it's eating me alive. You are not alone - trust me. And, like you said, there are far worse cases out there. Just because you have acne doesn't mean that people will like you any less. You absolutely should NOT let it define you. You are better than your acne. Laugh and smile often, it does wonders. Don't stress, everything will get better before you know it. Guaranteed (and I don't even know you) you are a BEAUTIFUL person inside and out. Don't ever let people's petty comments let you down. They must've been jealous of your awesome personality and talents. Stay positive, keep your chin up, it's all going to get better before you know it.

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i don't konw exactly but somewhere i read its the  7th common disase in the world&many teenagers commit suicide for this.but u know something im very much confident to know ur acne history.i was just loosing mah confident day by day coz of mah bad acnes.its very comfortable to me to know that many people r suffering from bad acnes like me.mah acne story is exactly same like u.its almost 6 years u know but i nevereever defeat.i can win&i will!!!for mah family im the best.mah family support me a lot u know.

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Sis, It's just as if I am reading about myself. I woner how do you look now after 2 years and 9 months? I am just crying like a fool now coz of same reason. Every ques u ask is EXACTLY the same as wht I wanna ask. Brightlight, actress, society and all. I am afraid that my ex-bf( not really, we haven't seen for 3 years) would ask me the same ques as u ex did. Yes, those people who didn't and don't suffer from acnes will never know this feeling. They keep asking us why would you have acnes? What did you eat? They don't know how much we are caring everything. "I am thankful to my acnes." The same thought as me! It makes me drink a lot of water and avoid junk food which is actually not good for my health. I wish I can get rid of them soon. I am now 15. I use Avocado(including honey and olive oil) mask every night. I hope my scars would get better soon.Good luck for you too :)

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i'm 36 years old going on 1,036, i swear.  acne has made me into an old soul; wizened beyond my years.  my acne had ceased to be acne so many moons ago.  my acne is is unto itself.  my acne is at the center of my universe; i've been reduced to an afterthought.  there's my acne, then there's me.  my acne drags me along life whilst i kick and scream in vain.  my acne has taken to the physical, metaphysical, and back.  if there is a hell, then my acne is the physical representation of that reality manifest on my once beautiful (i can say that now with reckless, chagrin-free abandon, because now that beauty is lost, and given to the hands of an ugly brutality.  but i once was a true adonis- i swear it to be true!) visage; and if there's a heaven, then this lifetime of acne is my ticket into paradise.  i'm 36; scarred to all hell; greasy complexion; dark maroon pigmentation to symbolize the vestiges of an acne once in full cystic bloom.  you are not alone out there.  we mourn together.  what a motherfucking fate.  seen every dermatologist; popped every pill; applied every topical cream.  seen ever shrink; popped a lot of pills; swilled a lot of alcohol.  my acne still stands proud in the highest salute of resolute, unflagging determination to be my last, and now, only, friend to the grave.  you are not alone.  we mourn together.    

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Be thankful for the bad things in life. They open your eyes to see the good things you weren't paying attention to before as I believe everything happens for a reason, depressions is natural because when things go wrong you can appreciate it when it's right, your head be telling you lies formulating new depressions so eventually you learn to care about no one but yourself, sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall back together.

Edited by Kevin9k9

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this actually reminds me of myself. I feel exactly the same as you do. i try to enter a class in such a way that only my left cheek is visible to the ones sitting in the class because my right cheek is worse than the left one.
I always think which side to enter from and which not, where to sit and many small things like these which makes me feel like a smaller person. i am actually so sad that i do have suicidal tendencies. but after reading this article i realized that i am not the only one who thinks so. thanks for sharing it. and yes i do feel grateful to the people who talk to me in spite of my acne.
 

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This is my life right now. It consumes me and it's turned me into a horrible person.

i argue with my family all the time and have put them under great stress with my acne-related depression. I don't mean too, but I just need to vent it out and it often comes out as me shouting..

despite this.. They don't understand. I constantly get "you should be ashamed of yourself" for how upset I am about my skin, and whenever I try to create an analogy for normal people to understand, they shut it down.

"it's like going bald" - oh it's nothing like that!

"it's like being fat and uncomfortable with your body" - oh it's nothing like that!

"it's like having a bit of snot hanging out of your nose every single day, people can see it and it's disgusting," - oh it's nothing like that!

"you should be ashamed of yourself"

Sigh.. No-one understands just how I feel. How ugly, how revolting, how disgusting and uncomfortable I feel every fucking single day. Acne and skin problems get downplayed so much. 

i'm resentful. I'm so resentful for the fact that I have to live with this every day when normal people never get spots. Why should I have to spend so much time, effort, money and emotional distress on something everyone else in the world gets for free. It's killed me inside. I don't enjoy anything and everything is related to my skin - if I go out, what I wear, where I sit, what side I sleep on...i've given up all sports and exercise because of it. Job offers. Never go out. My social life is ruined. 

sigh .. I know it's ridiculous but i cant help it ..

Edited by Lore91

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