Jump to content

Photo

I Need Help. Has Anyone Healed From This?

acne scars lights being a dad

6 replies to this topic

#1 acnecare_

acnecare_

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 48
    Likes: 0
About Me
  • Joined: 17-March 09

Posted 11 March 2013 - 07:20 AM

Hello guys. I'm a 23 years old male currently on accutane with scars getting worst by the day. I also am a dad and a boyfriend, my little daughter is 6 weeks old and my girlfriend is just a beautiful girl who simply deserves better than me. I am deeply hurt inside because of my acne and more importantly my scars.

 

Growing up I was always that pretty boy, before acne hit me when I was around 18. It was pretty bad until 21, left me a bit of scarring but it was manageable and I was able to live life without ever thinking about it. However, right after my girlfriend got pregnant and when life was looking so bright for me (I am literally crying all the tears I have in my body as I type this) acne came back full force and I was forced to go on accutane, because if there is one thing in the world I wanted was to be 100% there for my daughter.

 

At first accutane seemed to go well, and I'm almost finished with it. My acne is almost 100% clear, but oh my god did it ever left scars. On some lightings my face is close to perfect, on others I have one of the worst scars I have ever seen, right between my mouth and my cheeks. It looks like somebody stamped my face and it left a huge hole. Plus a lot of ice picks scars that were already there before but I learnt to dealt with, however I just can't get over my looks with that new scars.

 

I always been a superficial person, and now seeing me close to disfigured deeply hurted me. The only reason I havent committed suicide is because I am responsible for my daughter (dont lock the thread, i wont do it, but im depressed enough that i think about it sometimes). I've talked about it with my girlfriend some times and she said that she still thinks Im beautiful, and that I have to get over it, but I just cant seem to do it. One second Im all happy and positive, thinking Im not the only one with acne scars and some people live their lives happily with it, but as soon as I see my face in the mirror under a bad lighting angle Im just dying inside and I wanna hide forever. It saddens me to say but I fear that my family would be better off without me. 

 

Leaving the house for me is very hard and a cloudy day is a good day, while a sunny day is just a nightmare because of all the lights that reflects on my scars and makes it look like shit. I am even considering stopping accutane because 1 month before my treatment ends because it gave me that horrible scar but hten again Im not better off if acne comes back.

 

I know Im all over the place here but I have to get everything out of my chest.

 

Has anyone ever felt kind of the same way and cured from it? I feel like im in a huge depression I will never get out of, and people who can understand me the best are on this board. I need any tips I can get to get over it mentally, because my daughter and my girlfriend needs a good dad for their familly.


Edited by acnecare_, 11 March 2013 - 07:29 AM.


#2 Arsic

Arsic

    New Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 12
    Likes: 3
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Philadelphia, PA
  • Joined: 03-May 11

Posted 11 March 2013 - 08:29 AM

Most of people with scarring feel this way bro.

I feel like that a lot too, but you just gotta go with it.

Look for treatments for the scars but don't let them consume your thoughts.

If you have questions about treatments shoot me a pm, will be glad to help ya



#3 praveen64

praveen64

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 26
    Likes: 4
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Joined: 18-November 11

Posted 11 March 2013 - 08:52 AM

Hello guys. I'm a 23 years old male currently on accutane with scars getting worst by the day. I also am a dad and a boyfriend, my little daughter is 6 weeks old and my girlfriend is just a beautiful girl who simply deserves better than me. I am deeply hurt inside because of my acne and more importantly my scars.

 

Growing up I was always that pretty boy, before acne hit me when I was around 18. It was pretty bad until 21, left me a bit of scarring but it was manageable and I was able to live life without ever thinking about it. However, right after my girlfriend got pregnant and when life was looking so bright for me (I am literally crying all the tears I have in my body as I type this) acne came back full force and I was forced to go on accutane, because if there is one thing in the world I wanted was to be 100% there for my daughter.

 

At first accutane seemed to go well, and I'm almost finished with it. My acne is almost 100% clear, but oh my god did it ever left scars. On some lightings my face is close to perfect, on others I have one of the worst scars I have ever seen, right between my mouth and my cheeks. It looks like somebody stamped my face and it left a huge hole. Plus a lot of ice picks scars that were already there before but I learnt to dealt with, however I just can't get over my looks with that new scars.

 

I always been a superficial person, and now seeing me close to disfigured deeply hurted me. The only reason I havent committed suicide is because I am responsible for my daughter (dont lock the thread, i wont do it, but im depressed enough that i think about it sometimes). I've talked about it with my girlfriend some times and she said that she still thinks Im beautiful, and that I have to get over it, but I just cant seem to do it. One second Im all happy and positive, thinking Im not the only one with acne scars and some people live their lives happily with it, but as soon as I see my face in the mirror under a bad lighting angle Im just dying inside and I wanna hide forever. It saddens me to say but I fear that my family would be better off without me. 

 

Leaving the house for me is very hard and a cloudy day is a good day, while a sunny day is just a nightmare because of all the lights that reflects on my scars and makes it look like shit. I am even considering stopping accutane because 1 month before my treatment ends because it gave me that horrible scar but hten again Im not better off if acne comes back.

 

I know Im all over the place here but I have to get everything out of my chest.

 

Has anyone ever felt kind of the same way and cured from it? I feel like im in a huge depression I will never get out of, and people who can understand me the best are on this board. I need any tips I can get to get over it mentally, because my daughter and my girlfriend needs a good dad for their familly.

 

 

 

Don't get me wrong, there are creams that you could put on your face that does not reflect light and it works :)



#4 CrazyIceCream

CrazyIceCream

    New Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 19
    Likes: 6
About Me
  • Gender:Female
  • Interests:anything that can clear my face
  • Joined: 05-March 13

Posted 11 March 2013 - 11:35 AM

Even though I'm a female, I know how you feel. I used to be known as this cute girl before I had acne. At first it was okay but years go by and my face worsened. 

Every time there's a reunion or just some meet ups, I tried to avoid them. I've got some permanent scars on my face that I wish hadn't happened.

I always avoid mirrors, I cried often. Like you, I too had the thought of just ending my life but of course killing myself would just result in going straight to hell so I put that thought away. neutral.gif

 

The thing is.... worrying about acne will ruin your life. You'll always have that fear of being not good enough & just feeling plain ugly.

I've learned this the hard way.

 

Before I had acne up til it was still manageable, I was a cheery girl who would get along with everyone. I would smile and laugh a lot with my friends.

But when my acne was to the point that it made me feel depressed, I isolate myself. I avoid cameras and would just harshly turn my friends down.

I wouldn't smile as much anymore and really just back away from society. It sorta made myself into an extreme introvert.

I know from time to time, my friends were trying to help me but I just thought that they didn't understand.

Slowly, my friends had enough of my behavior and they don't share as much conversations with me anymore.

You can say that we were drifting apart.

And before I know it, I don't have anyone to call as a friend anymore.

 

The moral of the story is....stop worrying about your face. The most important thing about you is your personality not your face.

Never ever hide your personality under your face.

Instead, maybe you can hide your face under your personality..uhh...you know what I mean.

 

Your girlfriend knows that you're beautiful and she loves you for who you are.

You're gonna be a good daddy for your baby. So stop worrying about your face comfort.gif

 

Sorry that this was a long postrolleyes.gif



#5 Simon Belmont

Simon Belmont

    New Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 9
    Likes: 2
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:London.
  • Interests:I am a big movie fan and I write trailer reviews as a hobby for a website called Movie Farm. I am also an Illustrator and I have another job in a call centre.

    My other interests are music, art, videogames, books, keep fit and culture.
  • Joined: 10-March 13

Posted 11 March 2013 - 01:13 PM

I feel you man!

 

Like the other posters here I know what it's like to cancel meetings with friends, reunions etc. I also have a similar history to you. I had clear skin until I was around eighteen and then I started to get spots. Things changed during my mid-twenties as I had few spots but some scars I could live with. Then the acne became really bad when I started a new job and it stayed for almost the entire two years I spent working there. Now I have some big indented scars which are a hassle but I also have hyper pigmentation which I really hate. The hyper pigmentation makes your skin look terrible.

 

 

Keep your head up man, at least you have a family that loves you. You have done well in life despite your problems and for that I give you props!



#6 readytosmileagain

readytosmileagain

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 319
    Likes: 28
About Me
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:PA
  • Joined: 11-February 07

Posted 12 March 2013 - 01:22 PM

stick your course out - smile at your little one - appreciate your girl - and remember why we have this chance to do right in this world - You have a purpose now, you are a dad... and that responsibility is one you gotta hold on tight to and enjoy the ride. You have a little person, innocent, sheltered little person that wants nothing more in this life than to be close to her mom and dad...

 

dont look in mirrors, they only make you frustrated - dont look in car reflections - or car mirrors or anything where the sun light and the shadows can cause you to see your scarring in a way that makes you angry... you know what happens when you do, so dont do it anymore. I do not wear my contacts anymore and i dont wear my glasses into the bathroom... ill do this for the rest of my life because i know if i see my self in the mirror, I cant think of anything else the entire day...

 

take the steps you need to take to prioritize your life and be a role model to your baby girl and a supportive, confident man to your woman.... You've got us to vent to, so dont vent to her anymore (trust me on that), you have us on bad days, so dont think about taking your life because you damn well know that there is an entire group of people who feel you, who get you, and who will listen and keep taking baby steps towards getting through the accutane journey, getting rid of the acne, and dealing with the scarring later down the road.

 

Right now you are doing the right thing to stop your acne - and later you can think about doing what you need to do treat any scarring ... you cant treat the scarring now, so there is no reason to even think about it any more than you have to... One day at a time, one moment at a time, and one smile at a time... You've got this, and we've got you.



#7 the uphill battle

the uphill battle

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 301
    Gallery Images: 3
    Likes: 49
About Me
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Oregon
  • Joined: 23-April 10

Achievements

     

Posted 13 March 2013 - 02:30 PM

I can totally relate to the devastation that follows acne scarring. It seems every new pimple I get now leaves a scar.. as a teenager, only the really cystic marks would scar. It's so depressing! I feel helpless.. and I'm assuming so do you. The good news though is there are scar treatments! Finish your course and then start looking into the various options. The scarring thread is a great resource as well. There is HOPE. Remember that.






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users