16 replies to this topic

[AmbitiousOne]

I know this topic has been discussed a lot on this forum but I just want to rant again and see if you can identify with me.  I used to go out with this guy for a year and he was really understanding towards my unhappiness with acne. He left for Italy (he was an international student) and then later on (after six months) I dated another guy who really made me feel like crap about my appearance. After him, I have not dated anyone... actually I have not been going out with a guy for two years. The main reason is that I am scared that I will get depressed and the relationship will go down the hill because of acne. I was wonder if any of you are dating understanding guys who may or may not have acne themselves and who accept you for who you are. I have already come to terms that my chin acne will not disappear any time soon... this realization coupled with my insecurity to get back to dating is making me an emotional wreck...

 

 

 

[looking2thefuture]

I know this topic has been discussed a lot on this forum but I just want to rant again and see if you can identify with me.  I used to go out with this guy for a year and he was really understanding towards my unhappiness with acne. He left for Italy (he was an international student) and then later on (after six months) I dated another guy who really made me feel like crap about my appearance. After him, I have not dated anyone... actually I have not been going out with a guy for two years. The main reason is that I am scared that I will get depressed and the relationship will go down the hill because of acne. I was wonder if any of you are dating understanding guys who may or may not have acne themselves and who accept you for who you are. I have already come to terms that my chin acne will not disappear any time soon... this realization coupled with my insecurity to get back to dating is making me an emotional wreck...

 

Hi im a guy whos not dating anybody at the moment. I have the same point of view in that im scared of dating or attempting to date at the moment because I feel insecure about my skin. Its very hard and I know that feeling of struggle. What I will say is trheres plenty of undersanding guys out there wholl date you acne or not. And I bet youll get plenty of responces from females who are dating understanding guys. Rob

[AmbitiousOne]

Thank you Rob for your response. I guess we just have to be confident of ourselves. We have to realize that acne is not going to get in the way of building a relationship. I have to admit. I feel positive now... let's hope I will stay like this tomorrow.

 

Thank you!!

[RedRuby]

I get where youre coming from. I hate being next to guys cuz im scared theyll see my flaws and when they give me compliments i get more "depressed" for some reason. I feel like i cant date until i get my skin to the point where i want but then ill pbly just beat myself up for anothet imperfection. One is nvr happy -_-

[Exister]

My girlfriend and I both get pimples and are very insecure about them. But hers don't bother me whatsoever, I don't see them and think "gross", they don't detract from her appearance to me... I don't actually think anything of them. And she says it's the same with her, about mine. It's hard to believe we can be insecure about our own but not care at all about the other's, but it's true. As far as I know. So... it is possible to find someone who won't care.

[RedRuby]

My girlfriend and I both get pimples and are very insecure about them. But hers don't bother me whatsoever, I don't see them and think "gross", they don't detract from her appearance to me... I don't actually think anything of them. And she says it's the same with her, about mine. It's hard to believe we can be insecure about our own but not care at all about the other's, but it's true. As far as I know. So... it is possible to find someone who won't care.

  True I guess its just gotta be with someone who is not superficial, or better yet has suffered with acne/pimples so doesn't judge and knows where you're coming from.

[FlaggLives]

I can definitely identify. My last relationship was in late 2010. I think one of the biggest issues for guys with acne is that the normal gender roles in life dictate that a guy show interest in a girl, chase the the girl, make the first move, etc etc. It's SO hard to do that when you're struggling with skin issues. It's just such a confidence killer and there's always this gnawing thought in the back of my mind that if I tell a girl I'm interested in her she'll be like "ew, get away. your skin makes you look like a monster" or something like that. I've actually had girls approach me first (brave girls, lol) to tell me they're interested in me and they find me attractive, and that's how I've gotten 99% of the girlfriends I've had in the past. I always think they must be crazy or something because I feel like I look so bad when I see myself in a mirror.

 

It's hard for me to take in my full face...it seems like all I ever see are my scars. My one great hope in life is that I'll someday find a girl who I can openly share my skin issues with, how they make me feel, and all that good stuff because I think if I ever find a girl that would accept me with flaws included then that would be the perfect situation for me. That's always been the hardest part for me when it comes to dealing with acne...the fact that I'm alone in this. No girlfriend to confide in, and I don't talk to my parents or my friends about my skin because it's embarrassing and I just avoid the topic. It's rough, but I guess we just gotta take it day by day until we can build that confidence back up to reenter the dating scene.

[AlexanderJ86]

I can definitely identify. My last relationship was in late 2010. I think one of the biggest issues for guys with acne is that the normal gender roles in life dictate that a guy show interest in a girl, chase the the girl, make the first move, etc etc. It's SO hard to do that when you're struggling with skin issues. It's just such a confidence killer and there's always this gnawing thought in the back of my mind that if I tell a girl I'm interested in her she'll be like "ew, get away. your skin makes you look like a monster" or something like that. I've actually had girls approach me first (brave girls, lol) to tell me they're interested in me and they find me attractive, and that's how I've gotten 99% of the girlfriends I've had in the past. I always think they must be crazy or something because I feel like I look so bad when I see myself in a mirror.

 

It's hard for me to take in my full face...it seems like all I ever see are my scars. My one great hope in life is that I'll someday find a girl who I can openly share my skin issues with, how they make me feel, and all that good stuff because I think if I ever find a girl that would accept me with flaws included then that would be the perfect situation for me. That's always been the hardest part for me when it comes to dealing with acne...the fact that I'm alone in this. No girlfriend to confide in, and I don't talk to my parents or my friends about my skin because it's embarrassing and I just avoid the topic. It's rough, but I guess we just gotta take it day by day until we can build that confidence back up to reenter the dating scene.

 

No, do not wait. Tell your parents about it and go see a doctor. I did that and it worked tremendously for me.

[AmbitiousOne]

I get where youre coming from. I hate being next to guys cuz im scared theyll see my flaws and when they give me compliments i get more "depressed" for some reason. I feel like i cant date until i get my skin to the point where i want but then ill pbly just beat myself up for anothet imperfection. One is nvr happy -_-

 

I hear you, lady, especially when you say you get "more depressed" from compliments! When I conceal my disastrous pimples, I feel more confident. But when guys start to flirt with me and tell me I am beautiful, I get SO UPSET! I say to myself: "I don't think you will say this when you see me without makeup". This what prevents from going out there to date... it is this insecurity... *SIGH*

[FlaggLives]

I can definitely identify. My last relationship was in late 2010. I think one of the biggest issues for guys with acne is that the normal gender roles in life dictate that a guy show interest in a girl, chase the the girl, make the first move, etc etc. It's SO hard to do that when you're struggling with skin issues. It's just such a confidence killer and there's always this gnawing thought in the back of my mind that if I tell a girl I'm interested in her she'll be like "ew, get away. your skin makes you look like a monster" or something like that. I've actually had girls approach me first (brave girls, lol) to tell me they're interested in me and they find me attractive, and that's how I've gotten 99% of the girlfriends I've had in the past. I always think they must be crazy or something because I feel like I look so bad when I see myself in a mirror.

 

It's hard for me to take in my full face...it seems like all I ever see are my scars. My one great hope in life is that I'll someday find a girl who I can openly share my skin issues with, how they make me feel, and all that good stuff because I think if I ever find a girl that would accept me with flaws included then that would be the perfect situation for me. That's always been the hardest part for me when it comes to dealing with acne...the fact that I'm alone in this. No girlfriend to confide in, and I don't talk to my parents or my friends about my skin because it's embarrassing and I just avoid the topic. It's rough, but I guess we just gotta take it day by day until we can build that confidence back up to reenter the dating scene.

 

No, do not wait. Tell your parents about it and go see a doctor. I did that and it worked tremendously for me.

 

My parents know, it's just not I topic I talk about with them too often. I've been going to a dermatologist for about seven years now, just hasn't helped me much. I'm glad to hear that that you've seen improvements though. 

[RedRuby]

 

I can definitely identify. My last relationship was in late 2010. I think one of the biggest issues for guys with acne is that the normal gender roles in life dictate that a guy show interest in a girl, chase the the girl, make the first move, etc etc. It's SO hard to do that when you're struggling with skin issues. It's just such a confidence killer and there's always this gnawing thought in the back of my mind that if I tell a girl I'm interested in her she'll be like "ew, get away. your skin makes you look like a monster" or something like that. I've actually had girls approach me first (brave girls, lol) to tell me they're interested in me and they find me attractive, and that's how I've gotten 99% of the girlfriends I've had in the past. I always think they must be crazy or something because I feel like I look so bad when I see myself in a mirror.

 

It's hard for me to take in my full face...it seems like all I ever see are my scars. My one great hope in life is that I'll someday find a girl who I can openly share my skin issues with, how they make me feel, and all that good stuff because I think if I ever find a girl that would accept me with flaws included then that would be the perfect situation for me. That's always been the hardest part for me when it comes to dealing with acne...the fact that I'm alone in this. No girlfriend to confide in, and I don't talk to my parents or my friends about my skin because it's embarrassing and I just avoid the topic. It's rough, but I guess we just gotta take it day by day until we can build that confidence back up to reenter the dating scene.

 

No, do not wait. Tell your parents about it and go see a doctor. I did that and it worked tremendously for me.

 

My parents know, it's just not I topic I talk about with them too often. I've been going to a dermatologist for about seven years now, just hasn't helped me much. I'm glad to hear that that you've seen improvements though. 

 

 

True, well that's the thing hopefully we'll all find someone who has had skin issues or has skin issues. So we wont feel judged.

[Simon Belmont]

I can definitely identify. My last relationship was in late 2010. I think one of the biggest issues for guys with acne is that the normal gender roles in life dictate that a guy show interest in a girl, chase the the girl, make the first move, etc etc. It's SO hard to do that when you're struggling with skin issues. It's just such a confidence killer and there's always this gnawing thought in the back of my mind that if I tell a girl I'm interested in her she'll be like "ew, get away. your skin makes you look like a monster" or something like that. I've actually had girls approach me first (brave girls, lol) to tell me they're interested in me and they find me attractive, and that's how I've gotten 99% of the girlfriends I've had in the past. I always think they must be crazy or something because I feel like I look so bad when I see myself in a mirror.

 

It's hard for me to take in my full face...it seems like all I ever see are my scars. My one great hope in life is that I'll someday find a girl who I can openly share my skin issues with, how they make me feel, and all that good stuff because I think if I ever find a girl that would accept me with flaws included then that would be the perfect situation for me. That's always been the hardest part for me when it comes to dealing with acne...the fact that I'm alone in this. No girlfriend to confide in, and I don't talk to my parents or my friends about my skin because it's embarrassing and I just avoid the topic. It's rough, but I guess we just gotta take it day by day until we can build that confidence back up to reenter the dating scene.

 

I know how you feel buddy and I understand the fear that when you ask a girl out she will reject you because of your skin. My last relationship also ended in 2010 and thankfully the girl I was dating was cool about my skin. Me and my mum are really close so I talk to her about my skin when it's getting me down and she is a good listener. I don't talk to the rest of my family about it that often though.

 

Dating is hard enough these days as finding the right partner takes time and a lot of trial and error. Having bad skin just adds complications.

 

The good thing is there are plenty of people out there that don't care about spots or bad skin.

[AlexanderJ86]

Where are those people anyway?

[dejaclairevoyant]

I've got pretty bad cystic acne. Although I'm now getting it under control with medication, my skin is far from ideal. My boyfriend of three years is gorgeous. I've seen him with a small zit maybe twice ever. Totally clear, tanned skin, nice body, cute smile, gorgeous ocean-blue eyes--the works. For some strange reason, he thinks I'm the cat's meow--cystic acne and all.

 

If you want love, acne isn't standing in your way. I don't understand why, but guys really don't care about it. Hot guys included.

[AmbitiousOne]

I've got pretty bad cystic acne. Although I'm now getting it under control with medication, my skin is far from ideal. My boyfriend of three years is gorgeous. I've seen him with a small zit maybe twice ever. Totally clear, tanned skin, nice body, cute smile, gorgeous ocean-blue eyes--the works. For some strange reason, he thinks I'm the cat's meow--cystic acne and all.

 

If you want love, acne isn't standing in your way. I don't understand why, but guys really don't care about it. Hot guys included.

Thanks hun for your uplifting reply. I am getting better in gaining my confidence back. My ex has left a deep scar with his attitude towards my face...this is why I felt so insecure. I am definitely going out more just to explore dating scenes .

TY!

[Simon Belmont]

Where are those people anyway?

Lol, they are out there. You just need to have the courage to try and find them but I know it's difficult.

[morganhkenneth]

My girlfriend and I both get pimples and are very insecure about them. But hers don't bother me whatsoever, I don't see them and think "gross", they don't detract from her appearance to me... I don't actually think anything of them. And she says it's the same with her, about mine. It's hard to believe we can be insecure about our own but not care at all about the other's, but it's true. As far as I know. So... it is possible to find someone who won't care.

 

Yes, it is possible to find someone who won't care, in fact I am one. It doesn't matter for me as this kind of condition is not permanent, it can be treated. What is important is to have a good understanding for a relationship