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Defeated

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Just feeling really down and defeated by acne... Been trying to help my young teen son for years now... trying so many different things. It's emotionally and physically exhausting. I think about it constantly, worry about how his skin will look in different social situations, worry about what people think of him, etc. I'm so tired of him waking up to new breakouts and whiteheads every morning. I don't understand how some people with severe acne can go through life seemingly happy and not bothered by it. Maybe it depends on people's personalities.

Anyone else feel this way? I feel so powerless and defeated. It's very depressing :(

Thx for listening, just wanted to vent my frustration.

p.s. yes I've thought about Accutane many times... but trying to avoid it. I took it long ago as a teen, haven't had any major effects from it, but I know how dangerous it is. Trying to exhaust all other options before resorting to it.

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Just feeling really down and defeated by acne... Been trying to help my young teen son for years now... trying so many different things. It's emotionally and physically exhausting. I think about it constantly, worry about how his skin will look in different social situations, worry about what people think of him, etc. I'm so tired of him waking up to new breakouts and whiteheads every morning. I don't understand how some people with severe acne can go through life seemingly happy and not bothered by it. Maybe it depends on people's personalities.

Anyone else feel this way? I feel so powerless and defeated. It's very depressing sad.png

Thx for listening, just wanted to vent my frustration.

p.s. yes I've thought about Accutane many times... but trying to avoid it. I took it long ago as a teen, haven't had any major effects from it, but I know how dangerous it is. Trying to exhaust all other options before resorting to it.

Why does acne start in puberty? Because of the hormone spikes. Unfortunately more and more people do not ever "grow out" of their acne (I was one of them), so I would highly recommend looking into hormonal modulation. For a teen boy, really the only things you can do to control the excess testosterone creating the acne are

1) Diet. See Dr. Hyman's article on how Milk, Sugar, and Carbs create hormonal imbalances and acne.

2) Lifestyle. Irregular sleep patterns, too little exercise or too much exercise, and stress also contribute to hormone problems.

3) As a last resort, if diet and lifestyle don't improve his acne dramatically, is to modulate the hormones through herbal supplements such as saw palmetto and stinging nettle. These herbal supplements are more commonly used by older males with hormone problems such as balding and prostate issues. However these supplements have been shown to help acne as well.


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GreenGables

 


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Why are you worried so much about someone else's skin?

Because he's my son and I love him.

Fair enough. The question is: Is HE feeling really down and defeated by acne?


*Moderator edit, – please read the board rules*


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If that's how you feel imagine how your son feels, he has to live with it. It's cool that you actually care tho instead of shrugging it off. My only advice is don't tell him it will eventually go away cause that might not be the case.

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Why are you worried so much about someone else's skin?

Because he's my son and I love him.

Fair enough. The question is: Is HE feeling really down and defeated by acne?

yes. It bothers him but it probably bothers me more because I'm going through it again after dealing with it on my own skin for most of my life. He hates it and wants a miracle cure overnight but I am always telling him things take time to work and we have to be patient.

If that's how you feel imagine how your son feels, he has to live with it. It's cool that you actually care tho instead of shrugging it off. My only advice is don't tell him it will eventually go away cause that might not be the case.

Yes, I haven't told him it will eventually go away. I hope it does of course, but who knows. I only hope that if it doesn't go away completely, it will lessen in severity once his hormones calm down. He is in the middle of puberty.

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I'm glad you care. You may think that you're overreacting but a lot of the times teens can take acne much harder than they let on. Being involved in his fight will help him feel less alone. Watch for signs of depression as he gets older, because when he turns 15 or 16 he could start caring even more. Make sure you monitor the time he spends in front of the mirror as well, and be gentle about it. Boys can develop depression and Body Dismorphic Disorder too, they're just must less obvious about it. Make sure to help him have clothes he feels good in and encourage him to be interested in other things besides school, so he can draw his self-worth from other places besides his skin.

Oh and also, don't be afraid of visiting the dermatologist. They have other weapons besides Accutane.

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Have you tried the regimen that is laid out on this site? And the products they sell here?

The regimen is the only thing that has helped me long-term. Diet is important too, but not enough to clear me without topical medications, unfortunately.


Current Skin-Care Regimen (A work in progress):

Morning:

Gentle wash with DKR cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil (The lotion alone wasn't hydrating enough)

Skin 79 Korean BB Cream (excellent stuff)

Evening:

Gentle Wash with DKR Cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil


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Why are you worried so much about someone else's skin?

This is a really jerky comment. A little sensitivity wouldn't hurt.

I second trying the regimen if you haven't and possibly trying dietary changes such as no dairy or grains (eseentialy paleo). If these don't work after a few months, then see a derm, especislly if scarring is beginning to occur


It's a rocky road but like everything else in life, there is always a beginning and an end. Here's to finding my end.

God is good to me..........more than I deserve.

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.


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Honestly put him on accutane (if he's ok with it). Yes i'm sure you have heard all the horror stories and bad things that can happen but they most likely wont and instead of playing around with creams and antibiotics just get it over and done with. I waited all my teen years and screwed around with every cream under the sun and some antis which never really did anything drastic other than waste time and money. I remember when i was probably 15 my doc suggested accutane and due to the horror stories and my parents being worried about all the side effects i immediately refused and continued to desperately try topicals that did nothing...until my skin got so bad when i was like 19 that i went to the doc and she basically threw accutane at me and i welcomed it with open arms. It helped me so much and nothing bad happened to me, my only regret is not doing it earlier because it would have saved me many years of suffering and hopelessly trying everything else, also my acne would have never gotten as bad as it did and it would have saved me scarring ect.

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I'm glad you care. You may think that you're overreacting but a lot of the times teens can take acne much harder than they let on. Being involved in his fight will help him feel less alone. Watch for signs of depression as he gets older, because when he turns 15 or 16 he could start caring even more. Make sure you monitor the time he spends in front of the mirror as well, and be gentle about it. Boys can develop depression and Body Dismorphic Disorder too, they're just must less obvious about it. Make sure to help him have clothes he feels good in and encourage him to be interested in other things besides school, so he can draw his self-worth from other places besides his skin.

Oh and also, don't be afraid of visiting the dermatologist. They have other weapons besides Accutane.

Thank you... I did take him to a dermatologist one time last May, and all she did was tell me that his acne was severe, prescribed him Doxy and Epiduo, and then we moved out of state. He tried the Doxy for 6 weeks, and we didn't see improvement. Since I hate antis anyway, I had him stop. The Epiduo burned his skin raw. Then we moved, and didn't go back to another derm. He is now under the care of an Internist who is an M.D. but very holistically minded... she has done some tests on him... it's kind of a long story but we found out he's pretty toxic w/heavy metals, and has some deficiencies. She has him on a bunch of supplements now, and last week she prescribed him Cephalexin, which he is taking now. He is also seeing an esthetician who says she can clear him up. But it's hard to be patient and it's so depressing. I do try to get him to not "inspect" so much in the mirror, because then he just starts picking. But I feel like I'm nagging him also. I can't be in the bathroom w/him all the time, LOL :)

I just feel bad for him since he's so young to have it so bad... :( But sometimes I do feel like there must be something mentally wrong w/me that I'm thinking about it so much and so concerned about it. I try not to let on too much around him, but he knows it bothers me. I can't really hide it. It's very frustrating when I know there must be something "wrong" with him (internally), to be causing this. Maybe his hormones are just super strong, I don't know.

Have you tried the regimen that is laid out on this site? And the products they sell here?

The regimen is the only thing that has helped me long-term. Diet is important too, but not enough to clear me without topical medications, unfortunately.

No he has not tried the Regimen yet. I know this sounds terrible, but it seems to take several months before you see any improvement, and I don't know if he would have the patience. I know just about everything takes at least a few months, though. I also got a little scared because I read some people who tried the Regimen burned their skin from the BP, or their skin got "addicted" to the BP, then they were trying to wean off of it and they broke out again, or something like that? I could be wrong...

Why are you worried so much about someone else's skin?

This is a really jerky comment. A little sensitivity wouldn't hurt.

I second trying the regimen if you haven't and possibly trying dietary changes such as no dairy or grains (eseentialy paleo). If these don't work after a few months, then see a derm, especislly if scarring is beginning to occur

yeah I thought it was a jerky comment too... then I figured that person must not be a parent.

We are a dairy-free family, and he's been *mostly* gluten free for about 6 months now.. although he does eat other grains. I would love for him to be completely flour-and grain-free, but at his age (almost 14) that is nearly impossible.

yes scarring has already occured, unfortunately. His skin seems "older" than he is.. by that I mean because of the scarring, not wrinkles :)

Honestly put him on accutane (if he's ok with it). Yes i'm sure you have heard all the horror stories and bad things that can happen but they most likely wont and instead of playing around with creams and antibiotics just get it over and done with. I waited all my teen years and screwed around with every cream under the sun and some antis which never really did anything drastic other than waste time and money. I remember when i was probably 15 my doc suggested accutane and due to the horror stories and my parents being worried about all the side effects i immediately refused and continued to desperately try topicals that did nothing...until my skin got so bad when i was like 19 that i went to the doc and she basically threw accutane at me and i welcomed it with open arms. It helped me so much and nothing bad happened to me, my only regret is not doing it earlier because it would have saved me many years of suffering and hopelessly trying everything else, also my acne would have never gotten as bad as it did and it would have saved me scarring ect.

oh, he's more than OK w/Accutane.. he has asked to take it. I try to explain to him how toxic and dangerous it is... The growth stunting really bothers me, since he's still so young and growing like crazy. He says that since he's my son, and since I didn't really have bad effects from it, he will probably "inherit" that quality from me, and be just fine :)

I'm not ruling out Accutane... but the IB also freaks me out. I think his skin is bad now... I can only imagine how bad it would be during the IB. I wish I could remember if I had a bad IB, but it was so long ago, I can't recall. I remember thinking the same as you... if only I had gone on it sooner, I may not have so much scarring.

The derm basically threw Accutane at you...? LOLOLOL!!! How bad was your IB?

Thank you everyone for your kind words... comfort.gif

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Well whatever tretament route you choose, you must be prepared to give it at least 3 months to be effective so please don't give up before then or else you won't know if it works or not. 14 and being in the throes of being a teenager is very hard but like several people have stated, don't wait to treat his acne as scarring can be permanent, especially if his acne is severe. I really think that while you give holistic a try, try something like the regimen to try to keep this under control. This will help prevent further scarring. As for weaning off, don't put the cart before the horse and worry about a process that has not happened yet. You are also probably very wise to hold off on accutane as he is still very much in his hormonal stage and he has a higher chance of relapse at his age thanmaybe someone who is out of puberty

Whatever you decide, stay posiive, patient and let your son know you're there for him without being overbearing

Good Luck


It's a rocky road but like everything else in life, there is always a beginning and an end. Here's to finding my end.

God is good to me..........more than I deserve.

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.


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Your skin does become addicted to the BP... mine did anyway. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get off the regimen again. This is my third time doing it and both times I tried to get off (one period was about a year and a half and the other was about six months) I developed very severe acne.

Maybe it's just that I have severe acne all the time and the BP controls it. But my skin clearly can't function normally for whatever reason without BP.

I just feel like, life is too short. Our bodies are impermanent anyway, so why suffer for so long just in the interest of not being addicted to something? I'm going to die anyway. I will have lived so much better having clearer skin, plus plenty of people are 'addicted' to one medication or another.

And yes it does take a while to see results, and sometimes it can get worse before it gets better. But if he doesn't have the patience for the regimen, he isn't going to have the patience for other things either. Patience is something he needs to cultivate in himself.

Ps. I went to the dermatologists and wasted thousands of dollars for years before eventually giving up and trying the regimen. So that should tell you how much I think derms are worth.


Current Skin-Care Regimen (A work in progress):

Morning:

Gentle wash with DKR cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil (The lotion alone wasn't hydrating enough)

Skin 79 Korean BB Cream (excellent stuff)

Evening:

Gentle Wash with DKR Cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil


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I don't know if it matters, but i'm only 3 years older than your son so we could be dealing with similar feelings. After trying for months to cure it internally and externally with topicals, i've kinda given up. I'm still on the Regimen, but no longer feel very hopeful. While it keeps me clear from "normal" acne, it doesn't really do much for cysts.When i used to go to derms, they would recommend Accutane. Me and my mother would reject it because of the side effects. Now i desperately want Accutane and be done with it all, but my mother still says no. I would say go for it if he really wants it, but i agree it is a serious drug. However, it can't be much worse than taking antibiotics for a long time imo


Bang Bang


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Just feeling really down and defeated by acne... Been trying to help my young teen son for years now... trying so many different things. It's emotionally and physically exhausting. I think about it constantly, worry about how his skin will look in different social situations, worry about what people think of him, etc. I'm so tired of him waking up to new breakouts and whiteheads every morning. I don't understand how some people with severe acne can go through life seemingly happy and not bothered by it. Maybe it depends on people's personalities.

Anyone else feel this way? I feel so powerless and defeated. It's very depressing sad.png

Thx for listening, just wanted to vent my frustration.

p.s. yes I've thought about Accutane many times... but trying to avoid it. I took it long ago as a teen, haven't had any major effects from it, but I know how dangerous it is. Trying to exhaust all other options before resorting to it.

Has there been an improvement in your son's acne? It's so thoughtful of you to be so concerned about the physical and psychological effects of his acne....some parents just don't care. I was lucky enough that my mom was as concerned as you are, but she was often more worried about my acne than I was. In fact, I have no recollection what my skin looked like when I was a teenager because I hardly looked in the mirror. So, it didn't bother me as much as it bothered my mom. She took me to a bunch of dermatologists, and finally took me to a gynecologist who prescribed birth control. She really wanted me to have clear skin, so she put me on it and I took myself off it a few months later when I read the warning label and got scared. I know she wanted to help me, but I wasn't prepared to risk ruining my health to cure my acne. I'm glad you are considering less extreme options than accutane for your son. Give it time and be patient. Also, try not to dwell on his acne and focus on more positive things when you are talking to him so that he doesn't get the impression that acne is defining who he is. At such a young age, it's important to boost his self-confidence by focusing on the things he is good at and his interests and hobbies etc to get his mind off his acne.


Current regimen: garlic supplements [as needed], Enzymedica gluten blocker [as needed], nicadan [not sure if it works yet]. I try to simplify as much as I can. Don't take more supplements than you need....try one at a time and be patient.

The supplements that really helped me when my acne was at its worst: inositol, DIM [not as frequently now!] digestive enzymes [don't need them every day anymore, only on cheat days], herpanacine & vitamin C with rose hips/ low acid [not every day], regular sun exposure for vitamin D3, superoxide dismutase (SOD) enzyme supplements. NOTE: I do not recommend DIM for long term use, and I do not recommend hormonal creams without doctor supervision.

Lifestyle & Skin Care: acupuncture, regular exercise/ yoga, low histamine diet, avoiding unnecessary stress, balancing skin's PH (using Image Ormedics), using distilled/ filtered water to wash face, occasional high frequency facials...

 

Grocery list:

 

** Find the cause, find the cure **

** If you have a question for me, please ask it publicly so that others can benefit from the discussion**

 

 


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