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Honestly People, Fuck My Life


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#1 Avalonhaze

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:15 AM

I thought I'd come on here and vent as people would likely understand. I've had acne over half of my life, I'm 30. There have been ups and and there have been downs. I would say though that with high certainty no single thing has caused me to under achieve both personally and professionally than my skin. I can overcome a lot of stress factors in my life, I can rise and be bigger than all manner of problems... but only if my skin is good. Today, my skin is awful and in 30 minutes I have to go to work. I have a busy day talking face to face with lots of people on my project at work and frankly I'd just like to tell them all to go fuck themselves and stay in bed. I have to pay the bills though. My youth is nearly over, it's been ruined by my skin. I can't help thinking that things could have been different. All that wasted time. Oh well.

#2 AbstractFactory

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 11:25 AM

Come on, you're just having a bad day. You sound like you've done alright for yourself - at least you get to do a project in your job. My work is the most monotonous bilge ever created and I have to work with utter cretins. And my skin's pretty bad today as well, a new cyst has boiled up which will be with for the rest of the week.

 

As for your youth is over, trust me. When you're in your sixties and your body parts begin to fail on you, you'll give your right testicle to be thirty again, acne or no acne.

 

Chin up!



#3 Avalonhaze

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Posted 19 February 2013 - 12:35 AM

Thank you AbstractFactory. I agree a bad day, a lot of negative feelings. It frustrates me so much I'm alikeable funny guy when I'm good, hell even charming. Thanks for the reality check. I work in a busy hospital it's a nice job I'm lucky, I'm a research virologist.

#4 Aubreyj1722

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Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:46 AM

I'm sorry you're having such a horrible time right now. I can agree with how acne can just ruin a mood. It's sucks but it's just a card that some of us are dealt with. I hope you start to feel better and good luck with clearing up your skin. I know my mood has changed since I started clearing up. Have a blessed day!
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#5 kasyani

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Posted 19 February 2013 - 02:23 AM

Come on, you're just having a bad day. You sound like you've done alright for yourself - at least you get to do a project in your job. My work is the most monotonous bilge ever created and I have to work with utter cretins. And my skin's pretty bad today as well, a new cyst has boiled up which will be with for the rest of the week.

 

As for your youth is over, trust me. When you're in your sixties and your body parts begin to fail on you, you'll give your right testicle to be thirty again, acne or no acne.

 

Chin up!

 

 

so I presume you have suffered from cysts long term,if so do you get any breaks from them,

I am 54 and I was lucky I discovered what was causing them 30 years ago.

 


 


I thought I'd come on here and vent as people would likely understand. I've had acne over half of my life, I'm 30. There have been ups and and there have been downs. I would say though that with high certainty no single thing has caused me to under achieve both personally and professionally than my skin. I can overcome a lot of stress factors in my life, I can rise and be bigger than all manner of problems... but only if my skin is good. Today, my skin is awful and in 30 minutes I have to go to work. I have a busy day talking face to face with lots of people on my project at work and frankly I'd just like to tell them all to go fuck themselves and stay in bed. I have to pay the bills though. My youth is nearly over, it's been ruined by my skin. I can't help thinking that things could have been different. All that wasted time. Oh well.

 

 

 

 

do you just get cysts or do you get a rash and blackheads as well ?


Edited by kasyani, 19 February 2013 - 02:39 AM.


#6 Avalonhaze

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Posted 19 February 2013 - 07:06 AM

Painful cysts that persist for weeks and leave bright purple marks as a parting gift that take 6 months to fade.

#7 melmel87

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Posted 19 February 2013 - 06:23 PM

Painful cysts that persist for weeks and leave bright purple marks as a parting gift that take 6 months to fade.

 

why don't you go to the dermatologist to at least get them injected so they go away quicker? I avoid mirrors on days my skin is bad, if I don't see it I'm not going to get as much anxiety about my skin or care as much about what people think of it.



#8 cvd

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Posted 19 February 2013 - 08:56 PM

I can totally relate...and I'm 62 now. Took forever for the derms to get me on a regime that wasn't full strength antibiotics or accutane to keep me clear. I'm hoping you're seeing a dermatologist. There's so much that can be done. Something that has really helped me is taking 40mg doxycycline each day (poor man's version of Oracea). It is below the threshold for hurting the body but keeps inflammation down so I don't get cysts. The other thing to think about is doing a more complicated regime. Sometimes that's what it takes. See my regime below. This is what finally got me clear after decades of misery. And I was like you...I kept on in my work but there were days and weeks where I knew it was hard for others to look at me. And eventhough I was smart and had accomplished much I woke each day dreading what my skin was going to look like. This can scar you emotionally. But it feels wonderful to have clearer skin now. I keep my fingers crossed that it will continue! And I am hopeful for you too. One thing to keep in mind. My son broke out into his 30's and then cleared up. Maybe this will happen for you too. But I'd still get professional help so there isn't the scarring.

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Morning - Panoxyl 4 Cleanser (BP), Cleocin-T, DML Lotion, Physician's Formula SPF 30 Mineral Pressed Powder, Spiro 100 mg

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#9 kasyani

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:03 AM

Painful cysts that persist for weeks and leave bright purple marks as a parting gift that take 6 months to fade.

 

 

so do you squeeze them?,do you ge at isolated  one or multiples,I used to get frustated and squeeze so it was gone in a week,

but I was lucky at the age of 24 after 10 years week in week out of suffering I discovered what caused them to form,although I still get caught out occassionally(my own fault),but I could be sat here asking at the age of 54 what's the best treatment.



#10 Avalonhaze

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 04:17 AM

I called my local doctor yesterday, I'm going to pursue a Dermotologist appointment. I took Roaccutane in my early 20s. It was helpful but the side effects dragged on for years so I'm very reluctant to go down that road again. I stopped picking and generally touching my face years ago. I tend to only wash every other day with a mild soap, I've noticed over the years that harsh products and rubbing are a bad idea. I have a Zinc Pyrithrone moisturiser that I swear by.

#11 AbstractFactory

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:21 AM

I don't get cysts that often, but when I do, it's usually after I've binged on sugar or alcohol (especially lager). I've avoided alcohol since the new year, but over the weekend I pigged out on jellied sweets and consumed about two weeks worth of the recommended dose of sugar!



#12 cvd

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:18 AM

Hi Avalonhaze

I'm glad you're seeing a dermatologist again. This will help as you are older now and usually adult acne is treated more gently but still effectively. The key will be to do exactly as the derm says. My big mistake as an adult was to think I knew better than the derm. If you get a good derm (like mine) they will be right every time. A good derm will take time to determine your skin type and needs and only then prescribe a treatment regime. Another thing to remember, especially if you're dealing with cysts, is that it can take time for treatment to make a difference. This is also true if the derm determines you have a particularly resistant chronic form of acne and is hoping to find a regime you can do for a long time. The meds then have to be both effective and safe. But then they take longer to kick in. The regime I'm on took several months to really be effective...and it took time for all the underlying cysts to work their way out. Don't be adverse to taking antibiotics to start...whatever the dose. This is okay despite what many say on this site. Chronic adult acne is a disease and has to be treated just like any other disease...sometimes with strong meds to start. I always balked at taking strong meds and just prolonged my misery. Most likely you will not be put back on accutane...mainly because of your reaction before. But there is much else that is also effective. The key is remembering that you have a disease...not just some adolescent thing you'll outgrow! Diseases have to be taken seriously and doing so will make a big difference. For many years to get things under control I was put on Bactrim (a strong antibiotic). It is great for cystic acne and I was clear while on it. But can't stay on strong antibiotics forever so my derm developed another approach (see below) which has worked great for over a year now. Be flexible and know that it might take some experimenting to find just what will work for you. Keep in touch and feel free to message me with your progress.

Status - 99.9% clear

Morning - Panoxyl 4 Cleanser (BP), Cleocin-T, DML Lotion, Physician's Formula SPF 30 Mineral Pressed Powder, Spiro 100 mg

Night - Cetaphil Antibacterial Bar, DML Lotion

Monthly - Professional microdermabrasion

Diet - Whole high nutrient unprocessed foods.  Avoid oils, dairy, sugars, bread, nuts, alcohol, caffeine, and fermented foods.

Supplements - Opti l-zinc, citrical + D3

Daily - Walk, breath deeply, meditate and do yoga daily, wear hats for sun protection 

 

 


#13 Avalonhaze

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Posted 01 March 2013 - 01:29 PM

Thank you guys for the good will. I have my Derm appointment and some antibiotics in the mean time. The day I posted this was two weeks ago now. Was a bad day, my mood has mellowed somewhat since then.

#14 Sammiekat33

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Posted 01 March 2013 - 06:13 PM

Seriously I think its the first time ever that im happy I'm blessed with freckles cause they kinda hide the marks like Where's Waldo!! but when I would walk my dog esp during the cold rainy times when my makeup will just get jacked up anyways I realize that the only thing i could really do on those days were to grab my ice cream hoodie out of my closet that my boyfriend bought me and zip it over my face because when I came to the conclusion the only thing in life you really can't hide is your teeth and your face man.. ice cream hoodies do justice.. I just wouldn't go into a store wearing 1 because it looks like a bankrobber lol. Glad you're doing well though gives me hope since I'm at the prime of my battle with adult cystic acne and yeah it sucks but luckily I have a sister who battled it for a long time and her skin is flawless now where as mine backfired like an atomic bomb. Keep your head high!!!

#15 tling

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 10:55 PM

I completely sympathize being in pretty much the same spot as you are. I'm 30 and have had this crap for 16 years of my life. Exactly the same stuff too, painful cysts. Occasionally I'll get real depressed because due to a bad breakout or a cyst in a highly visible location and I'd rather not go to work or interact because of it. I've found sometimes the best thing to do is power through it and 'own' it rather then be continuously worried about people think. Mostly this is the only option when I have a cyst that I can't do anything about. Focus on something else. This works especially well at work with coworkers, mostly because they need to work with you and you with them so there is no reason to focus on it. Just get that job done.

 

If they think your skin is messed up that is thier problem. Most people I talk to who are critical about my skin think I'm 'dirty' or something. Like I could scrub it away or some such nonsense. Ignore those people, they are jerks. You can't help how your skin reacts; don't let it define you as a person.

 

I don't know if this helps, but there are people going through the same stuff as you. Hang in there.