Dont worry, just because many people have made these posts it doesn't mean they aren't important . I still am all ears (eyes technically =p) to you, regardless of how familiar your story is. Its like, while reading in my head i was like, whoa, that's so relate-able. I went to crazy lengths to avoid light, tried many concealers (as a dude no less lol) *cue the violin for me too lol* . but really I'm sorry to hear you aren't satisfied with your complexion. I understand its tough. Especially when (like you) I dont' have anyone personally to relate to me as I go through the whole, acne thing. But I think the Acne.org community is definitely the place to start! There are always those willing to hear you vent, give advice, or even just talk like normal.
All i can say is that you aren't alone, and that if you need advice on products, regimens, or just to talk, im all ears.
Aw, I'm really glad and appreciate hearing all that you just said. You sound like such a kind person that more people need to be like. Thank you so much.
Hi Secret. Yep, you're certainly not alone with the hiding away thing. I haven't been out AT ALL in three years. I refuse to even go out into the garden incase the neighbours happen to get an eye-full of my horrible skin. I even close the curtains in the lounge (or whatever room I'm in) so that no one can see me properly. I realise it must get really depressing and annoying for my family to constantly have to sit in darkness because of my insecurities. It's really sad that we feel the need to have to hide ourselves away we're worth more than this, it's just finding that inner confidence to realise it. So I really can relate to you on this.
Aw, hun. My heart is with you, it's really tough feeling this way. It feels so weird and annoying that we, as humans, don't feel human like everyone else. I sometimes feel like I'm not even human, or just not worth it. And you're completely right, we are more than this; we deserve so much better. No matter what we feel on the inside, it's really how we are on the inside that makes us who we are (as cheesy as that sounds!)
I really hope that you will enjoy the great life ahead of you when you find your inner confidence, because you definitely deserve it.
In my case, it tends to be the acne scarring on my chin that people stare at when I am talking to them. For some reason, people always put their hand up over their own chin and start obsessively stroking it whenever I speak to them. It's a really horrible feeling and makes me not want to interact with people at all. The thing is most of us don't have any real choice in the matter - we need to interact with others to some degree in order to get by in this life and earn a living. I too am surrounded by people who all have clear skin and they are able to confidently speak face to face with others so they could never understand what it's like for people who have our problem.
I've been battling with acne for the past 25 years (since I was 13). Since I have been on the regimen, it has got better but I still struggle with it now and again. It's the horrible scars it's left behind on my chin and in particular the way others react to my face that upsets me the most.
Ah, I know what you mean about people starting to stroke that particular area! Whenever people do that, it can get a bit awkward. And YES, EXACTLY! It is our benefit when going out and doing something with our lives, regardless of what our skin looks like. It's hard, but like you said, we have no choice.
I really do hope that all will be well with you, and just know that there are so many others out there who are the same...they just might not be surrounding you in real life.
I have few tips on talking to other people and eye contact..
When you talk to someone, you can focus just on delivering the message you are trying to deliver. That means you don't pay attention to how the other person is reacting to you. You just go about saying the thing you are trying to say. It's kind of like this guy who has autism but he "just goes about" delivering his speech. Maybe people who have autism don't really know or care about what other think of their mannerisms but that's besides the point. Here is the video of this kid: http://youtu.be/Uq-FOOQ1TpE
When you are listening to the other person, I think a great way of "managing" your eye contact is for you to look sideways CLEARLY (so that the speaker can notice) every 0.5 seconds or so. You can look sideways/slightly up deliberately every little interval. I think this is very useful... Even people who don't have acne are not advised to "death-stare" at someone for longer than 3,4 seconds usually. Example of this:
http://youtu.be/PK8CCzLOgbI You have to go to the 10:30 mark. Little changes can help and I hope you find it helpful..!
Wow, very cool! Thank you for the information and videos!