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#1 looking2thefuture

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    Rob85GINGE

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 11:52 AM

Hi guys,

 

Reading along the lines and having lurked upon these forums for a while I realize that im not alone in what im about to desribe how im feeling in this moment in time! Anyway im going vent a bit and I hope I get some postive advice and feedback off you guys. Were all this thing together I guess. Anyway ive suffered from acne since I was the age of 18 im now 27 years old. My acne has ranged from severe as in I got lots of cysts on my forehead when it first appeared,Moderate and mild in this time with a period in 2009 when it had appeared to have completely gone away. Currently it appears to be mild/moderate with legions appearing in mostly the same areas of the lower part of my left and right cheecks daily. Im currently quite clear on my forehead clear on my temples and clear on my chin. I do use a bit of male talored foundation and conclear to hide the numerous red marks on my face. My skin is also quite red as in irratated in patches. Anyway ive been breaking out much more than usual which is really concerning me, this  depsite starting an expensive skin care regime and trying my best to eat well under the guidance of an acne expert.Since tuesday I havent left the house and have been lying in bed etc missing uni and work. Im currently on a masters course in social work which has been my goal and ambition for a long while but ive felt so replused by my self that this week ive bascially given up. Ive tried so so hard to be positive but I feeling ive lost all my stength with dealing with this. I guess its due to the long long time that ive dealt with it and never had a great deal of respite. Im realsitic to know that I may be living with this for most of my life time as I understand there not a cure but I just wish I would stop breaking out so much. The positive aspects of my personality such as my sense of humour,being caring towards others,  being sociable have been eroded terribly im single and am consigned to be on my own for a long while. I know that if I carry on this way ill lose my place on the course and ill get the sack. Im also losing my enthusiasm for my running im a more than capable 5,10k and marathon runner. Im meant to be moving out of home again (i lived away from home for 6 years then came back for a new job and this course) but I feel as far away from this than ever. I hate to feel like im whineing I guess ive tried to be strong for soo long and I carnt shake myself out of this rut. Im going post a seprate post in the adult acne section, but im wondering if you guys could provide me with some tips in avoiding looking at mirrors for long periods of time,touching my face and picking spots,being conifdent and maintianing eye contact with others even if youre feeling real shit about youre skin (all bad I know but my mental state is so hard I canrt think rationally and control myself). I hope that I will get back to being myself soon and believe me I can be of real benefit to people on here when im in a good frame of mind. Thanks for reading. Rob.  



#2 Leopold

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 01:35 PM

The emotional drain of acne has always been the worst part for me. I think I was in a similar boat to you -- I'm from England too and during the worst of my breakouts I was in a position where I had no choice but to interact with people (I'm a school teacher) when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and wait until the pimples had gone away. 

 

One thing I'd recommend, on the mirrors front, is this: don't look in one from leaving the house until getting home. It's not worth it, because you'll obsessively over-analyse your skin, how bad it is, and maybe even start picking/squeezing. Not constantly reminding yourself about how bad you think your face looks will work wonders for you just getting on with your day. 

 

Interacting with people is trickier. If you're anything like me, you'll just be stressing out about what they can see and what they think of it. The best advice I can give, even if it doesn't sound particularly helpful, is just to try to act natural. If you're a funny or friendly guy, just be that way. Being moody, sulky, evasive or insecure compounds the problem. People will react much more negatively to that than they will to your skin. And I have to say, people aren't nearly as shallow as we (I'm referring mostly to me here) assume; a lot of people don't care what's on your face. 

 

Good luck mate, I hope you make it through this. 



#3 looking2thefuture

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    Rob85GINGE

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:38 PM

Yeah thansk alot im trying hard with the mirrors its become an obession i need to really stick to my regimine now and judge it in four weeks without getting too upset when new spots appear and look at it from an overall view thats the rational way to do things. Rationally speaking most people arnt that bothered about youre acne unless I guess its a very severe case, still Ive seen people with severe acne walking around and appearing to be confident etc. People who are btohered by it are in my opinion not worth. I think aslo its good to be open about it. Im going try and be brave and talk to nice collegues in my workplace and uni and I bet the responce I get isnt going be "oh my god you look horrible" it will proberly be "oh im sorry to hear youre feeling like this". I want to come through this now and help people myself cos I reckon id be good at it. Anyway nice to meet you thanks for the reply:)



#4 PaulH85

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 06:46 AM

Hey Rob.  :)

As you know, I'm pretty dysmorphic with the whole image thing and it's a battle where mirrors are concerned.  The best thing I can share and always try and remember is simply to walk away.  The moment you feel you're dwelling on things in front of the mirror, walk away. 

The thing is, it's only really difficult to do that when we're struggling.  Then it creates a bit of a vicious cycle.  I had a breakout recently, first time in a while, and I made it so much worse because of the time spent in front of the mirror.  In those instances, you have to try and be strong because nothing good comes from that time in front of the mirror. 



#5 QuietJamie14

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Posted 23 February 2013 - 08:00 AM

Hi guys,

 

Reading along the lines and having lurked upon these forums for a while I realize that im not alone in what im about to desribe how im feeling in this moment in time! Anyway im going vent a bit and I hope I get some postive advice and feedback off you guys. Were all this thing together I guess. Anyway ive suffered from acne since I was the age of 18 im now 27 years old. My acne has ranged from severe as in I got lots of cysts on my forehead when it first appeared,Moderate and mild in this time with a period in 2009 when it had appeared to have completely gone away. Currently it appears to be mild/moderate with legions appearing in mostly the same areas of the lower part of my left and right cheecks daily. Im currently quite clear on my forehead clear on my temples and clear on my chin. I do use a bit of male talored foundation and conclear to hide the numerous red marks on my face. My skin is also quite red as in irratated in patches. Anyway ive been breaking out much more than usual which is really concerning me, this  depsite starting an expensive skin care regime and trying my best to eat well under the guidance of an acne expert.Since tuesday I havent left the house and have been lying in bed etc missing uni and work. Im currently on a masters course in social work which has been my goal and ambition for a long while but ive felt so replused by my self that this week ive bascially given up. Ive tried so so hard to be positive but I feeling ive lost all my stength with dealing with this. I guess its due to the long long time that ive dealt with it and never had a great deal of respite. Im realsitic to know that I may be living with this for most of my life time as I understand there not a cure but I just wish I would stop breaking out so much. The positive aspects of my personality such as my sense of humour,being caring towards others,  being sociable have been eroded terribly im single and am consigned to be on my own for a long while. I know that if I carry on this way ill lose my place on the course and ill get the sack. Im also losing my enthusiasm for my running im a more than capable 5,10k and marathon runner. Im meant to be moving out of home again (i lived away from home for 6 years then came back for a new job and this course) but I feel as far away from this than ever. I hate to feel like im whineing I guess ive tried to be strong for soo long and I carnt shake myself out of this rut. Im going post a seprate post in the adult acne section, but im wondering if you guys could provide me with some tips in avoiding looking at mirrors for long periods of time,touching my face and picking spots,being conifdent and maintianing eye contact with others even if youre feeling real shit about youre skin (all bad I know but my mental state is so hard I canrt think rationally and control myself). I hope that I will get back to being myself soon and believe me I can be of real benefit to people on here when im in a good frame of mind. Thanks for reading. Rob.  

 

Hi Rob,

 

My acne story is pretty similar to yours - bad when I was a teenager, seemed to vanish when I was around 22 or 23, then came back and is still really bothering me in my late twenties.

 

Like you, I have days or weeks when I break out, feel repulsed by myself and want to hide away from the world, which feels like such a silly reaction for a 28-year-old man but I can't help it. Studying and career-wise I can give you some hope in that I stuck with Masters course, got a distinction, and recently achieved a PhD. The PhD was also really useful for me because it involved some teaching, lecturing, public-speaking and conference networking, all of which forced me to be brave and face the world. I'm now less shy about socialising than I used to be (though that doesn't mean I'm not insecure).

 

You sound like you have a lot to offer, so I'd recommend putting a lot of effort into your studying and career. It can be hard when you're having bad acne days but in the long run it will really improve your sense of self-worth. Appearance is not an achievement; a good career, especially one that benefits others, definitely is.

 

I also lived away from home for 3-4 years but had to move back again, which isn't great for self-esteem. Relationship-wise, I can't offer any advice as I've been single for a long time and can't see that changing any time soon! Women tend to overlook me.

 

Re: mirrors. I've found one mirror in the house that has good lighting and is at a good angle, so I tend to use that to get ready, groom myself, but then refuse to look in any other mirrors throughout the day as it only gets me down!

 

J.



#6 looking2thefuture

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    Rob85GINGE

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Posted 23 February 2013 - 06:55 PM

Well its nice to know im not aone. Yeah it is silly really. I honeslty dont think acne is that bad on other people and the people who are going to judge you for having flaws in youre apperance arnt worth it. There not worthy of youre freindship. I think im going have to accept myself more. I have acne and it will take a while to get to where I want to look pysically. The bare facts of the matter are that we could be dead tommorow. And think of all the things we can still acheive. Sorry about the long term single thing im in a similar situation ive had dates etc but been without a girlfriend for over a year now. Its tough I feel everyone needs somebody and you deserve a girl mate dont give up. A life without that feeling of butterflies,the exitement of getting to know someone and jsut doing nice things is to grim for me to bear. You seem to be a man of telent well done with the public speaking. What was youre masters in?. Yeah i have the intellgence required and the will to help people but sadly ive let the acne get in the way of it. But im determined not to let it ruin me anymore. Yeah i know I love my family but im too old for this now how do you find youre parents treat you?






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