I may be in the minority but upon starting accutane tomorrow the main emotions I feel are excitement, anticipation and slight nervousness. Ths is the most confident I have ever been that I can acheive clear skin which is something I haven't been able to expierience in nearly 3 years. With scarring starting to appear on my face it's come to the point where it's get clear skin at all costs as I have a lot planned for the coming years and I want to be able to do this with an air of confidence about me.
I know everyone say don't let acne control your life but I have allowed just that to happen. I wouldn't say i'm a weak person but when you receive comments reguarly about your appearance it slowly but surely drains your confidence away to a point where you constantly feel self pity and self doubt. It's never a nice feeling not starting conversations just because you don't feel worthy of the right to talk to people and because it's a world where appearance is judged whether we like it or not. I want to feel in control again; I want to start going to more parties, I want to be back doing activities I enjoy and I want my real self back, not the shadow which I have become.
It's not quite all doom and gloom as I may have just made out. I have a number of close friends and a close family that will support me through this journey and I have got things going for me in terms of education, gym work, cooking etc it's just my social life I need to reclaim. There are probably people out their who have had acne for 10 years who will say accept it as part of you and grow stronger from it, but right at this point I'm not equipped to do that.
Anyway enough emotional crap, as some of you may have seen I have been taking antibotics for two months and for the most part it has been alright- no real side effects, acne better than before (a lot of red marks / scarring but less actives) but far from perfect and anyway I want my best chance for the long term so in that respect I'm grateful for the chance to take accutane. I am definetly slightly apprehensive about the IB, currently with not much acne I'm worried that it could turn into a car crash pretty quick but i'm keeping my eye on the goal which is to hopefully see improvements by early June. If by then it's not working I will worry a little more.
I may put pictures up, haven't decided yet, but if I do don't give me too much about it being mild or anything because it was worse before antibotics. Thanks for reading and good luck on your tane journeys
Edited by Waddles321, 10 February 2013 - 04:19 AM.