I've ALWAYS had and gotten these horrible red marks and spots. I've been to a dermatologist 3 times and it's NEVER helped me really. I have been on tretinoin and BP along with pills before. Perhaps it's helped control my breakouts but I still seem to ALWAYS get a whitehead of something on a cheek and then that just ruins my whole day because I KNOW that whenever it goes away it will leave a discolored ugly mark. I believe BP is NOT good for me because I have heard it marks redness stay longer and is not good for spots. I suppose I still get a bit of active acne but it just feels like everything turns into a spot or whatever they are.
I truly do not even know where a lot of these little ugly red spots came from. I don't recall having acne in those spots. It's so weird, but I must have. These are honestly worse than acne to me because I'm stuck with them day in and day out. Maybe some I had originally 3 years ago have faded I really don't know. But it seems like none are ever improving and they will never go away. I also see from some pictures I have indents. Those are scars right? I am stuck with those? When I feel my face its basically smooth, but after taking these pictures, I see I have a lot that are 'in' my skin. That makes me even more depressed. As you can see it looks absolutely disgusting. Under certain lighting it's even worse. These bright red spots on my face seem permanent and I can't take it anymore. I'm absolutely sick of it. It ruins my face on both side of my cheeks and jaw and even under my jaw a bit. I have lived a boring alone life for the last 4 years because of this. I stay inside all the time and can't be a normal university student.
I'm going to be halfway through university soon and I look like an ugly teenager still in high school with acne. Everyone else looks like an adult, with smooth beautiful skin and all the other men have typical skin, nice scruff or a bit of roughness to their skin with no acne problems. Why can't I just be like that? What did I do to deserve this. I honestly dread waking up some days. In high school I always prayed this would be gone by university so I could be a new person. It's funny, I had some friends who had acne too, maybe not the red spots like mine but they had problems. Now I see them on Facebook and they are completely clear and enjoying university life...
I haven't shaved in 2 years because I am scared to go over my horrible skin and red spots. Plus when I did use to shave regardless of what I do I would always get some whiteheads afterwards which would turn into more discolored skin. I've been trimming my hair, not that it matters becuase my facial hair isn't normal. It grows in patches and scraggly, hard to describe but that's not the main point of this.
For the ones that are indented, is the color in them ever going to go away? I have seen people with indents from acne but it's not red, they're the same color as the person's skin. Why are mine different? I'm EXTREMELY depressed and I just want some solid advice. Are the red spots and these all of my marks scars, PIH, roscaea, or what? It seems like they will NEVER go away. I know my skin will never be nice like everyone elses. I just want to have a somewhat normal, enjoyable life already and I can't have any confidence until I can look a LITTLE better. I can NEVER be up close with someone so therefore my social skills suck because I hate having conversations while I see people examine my face with their eyes. Plus I will never have a girlfriend when I look like this. I just want to know what to do. Nothing seems to help. As of lately I have broken out bad because of stressing over university work and the fact I look so disgusting. And the acne i got from the stress has probably led to more of these ugly spots and discolored marks. It's like I'm trapped...
I need to know what this all is and what to do. I'm completely desperate at this point. Overall my life has been miserable for the past 4 years. Every single day I have lived I have thought about my disgusting face for a good portion of the day and I hate the person I've become because of this. I want to change in the next year and enjoy life and I need to get this all figured out and fixed for good so I can't get a bit of confidence back. These pictures don't do the marks justice. They look worse sometimes, and I didn't get my full cheeks which may have missed some other spots I have.
If I could just get rid of these horrible bright red spots and discolored marks I could live a somewhat normal happy life. What do I have and what do I need to do?
Edited by Rafiki3, 06 January 2013 - 05:34 PM.