15 replies to this topic

[wishingitallaway]

So I'm 20 years old. I have been dealing with acne since about 15-16. I have scars that are like keloids formed from past pimples on both sides of the corners of my neck under my jaw. I have 1 big one on each side and several medium sized bumps on both side. I also have a scar on the left side of my cheek and little dents in the temple areas. Also in between my eyebrows I have a bump/scar. And on my back/ behind the shoulder areas I have several bumps. I go through really bad lows and rarely have highs. I haven't dated in awhile even though I'm really a sweet caring guy, very genuine. Its just hard on me emotionally its like every day is a grind. I always feel when I'm on the train to work that I'm being stared at, especially by girls and its embarrassing. I often feel ashamed because every barber I go to for a haircut and a shave always complains about shaving my neck. It makes me cry. I feel like these issues just keep taking away from my potential and I just cant stop it. The insecurity, the shame, the loneliness has ruined the once confident, happy, outgoing guy I once was.wen I started getting rejected more often as the ache got worse it just created this loser feeling inside me. I am a guy that loves sports particularly baseball and continue to work hard at it but on my team wen I messed up a couple times I just was embarrassed and its because I don't feel good enough and I feel ugly and it shakes the confidence that I need to be a good pitcher. But I have lost confidence in myself sonic cant perform well. I'm just tired of feeling worthless and ugly. My sister always tells me I'm good looking, she is 22 but her skin is fine. But she knows how I feel. I get so embarrassed st work, I work with little kids, some with behavior issues and disabilities. But its embarrassing when they ask why I have so many "booboos" and all the other teaches are right there. It makes me feel less worthy. I just wish there was a way I can get rid of all tthese bumps and scars so I can be that guy that is confident. And can get girls or a nice girl that's pretty and just have it go away so I wont feel ugly and hopeless. I'm also scared because a past relationship did go sour due to my back acne it like freaked out the girl I was seeing at the time. We weren't together for that long anyways but it just hurts me. My dermatologist told me I have the skin disease "hidradenitis supparativa" about a month ago. I'm just hoping there's a way so I can be happy with clear skin. So many people have no clue what its like and they are so ignorant and put me down....anyways, to any1 that read this,I appreciate u and God bless.

Edited by wishingitallaway, 14 November 2012 - 08:22 PM.

[mdp703]

I think many of us understand comepletely what you are feeling. I've had acne for 15 years (now 30). I am leaving tomorrow for a business trip and feel mortified about my skin. I don't want anyone to see. Acne has a huge impact on our self esteem. We have to remind ourselves that our appearance does not make who we are. Although we stare and obsess about our skin, everyone else does not. Yes, blemishes are not attractive, but they are only temporary. Continue working on you, I mean who you are....the guy who likes baseball, who likes working with kids. Let these things define you. When your skin improves, you will know who you are and be that much better of a person.

[wishingitallaway]

Thanks. Its just hard its like everywhere I go I feel people staring at me. Sometimes I find myself ashamed to make eye contact with girls because I know they see the acne

[FlaggLives]

I understand completely what you're going through. It's tough as hell, and every day we have to go that extra mile just to brave the public and the world. People who have never experienced acne will never get just how much courage and conviction it takes to do that. They say that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and bear in mind that every time you wake up and step out the door you're strengthening yourself and pushing past that pain period...and even though you feel down, you're doing well in life. You have a job and you're making the effort, so take solace in that. You haven't let acne break you, and that's the important thing to keep in mind. We can never let acne win...every day is a battle, and we gotta keep fighting.

I remember when I was younger I had a job at a grocery store as a bagger, and I always dreaded when little kids came through my line...because kids are curious and they don't know any better, and they would always ask their parents what all those marks on my face were, right in front of my coworkers and other people. I've never felt so ashamed...every time I heard something like that I just wanted to crawl under the cash register and hide. Kids don't mean any harm by it though, they're only trying to understand and are genuinely curious.

I know how it is with girls too, that's what bothers me the most about acne. It makes me so shy around them. Never give up though, there are girls out there who will see you for the person you are on the inside and they won't mind that you have acne/scars.

I wish you the best, man. Stay strong!

Edited by FlaggLives, 14 November 2012 - 08:40 PM.

[wishingitallaway]

Man thanks a lot its good to know someone can relate.

[melmel87]

So I'm 20 years old. I have been dealing with acne since about 15-16. I have scars that are like keloids formed from past pimples on both sides of the corners of my neck under my jaw. I have 1 big one on each side and several medium sized bumps on both side. I also have a scar on the left side of my cheek and little dents in the temple areas. Also in between my eyebrows I have a bump/scar. And on my back/ behind the shoulder areas I have several bumps. I go through really bad lows and rarely have highs. I haven't dated in awhile even though I'm really a sweet caring guy, very genuine. Its just hard on me emotionally its like every day is a grind. I always feel when I'm on the train to work that I'm being stared at, especially by girls and its embarrassing. I often feel ashamed because every barber I go to for a haircut and a shave always complains about shaving my neck. It makes me cry. I feel like these issues just keep taking away from my potential and I just cant stop it. The insecurity, the shame, the loneliness has ruined the once confident, happy, outgoing guy I once was.wen I started getting rejected more often as the ache got worse it just created this loser feeling inside me. I am a guy that loves sports particularly baseball and continue to work hard at it but on my team wen I messed up a couple times I just was embarrassed and its because I don't feel good enough and I feel ugly and it shakes the confidence that I need to be a good pitcher. But I have lost confidence in myself sonic cant perform well. I'm just tired of feeling worthless and ugly. My sister always tells me I'm good looking, she is 22 but her skin is fine. But she knows how I feel. I get so embarrassed st work, I work with little kids, some with behavior issues and disabilities. But its embarrassing when they ask why I have so many "booboos" and all the other teaches are right there. It makes me feel less worthy. I just wish there was a way I can get rid of all tthese bumps and scars so I can be that guy that is confident. And can get girls or a nice girl that's pretty and just have it go away so I wont feel ugly and hopeless. I'm also scared because a past relationship did go sour due to my back acne it like freaked out the girl I was seeing at the time. We weren't together for that long anyways but it just hurts me. My dermatologist told me I have the skin disease "hidradenitis supparativa" about a month ago. I'm just hoping there's a way so I can be happy with clear skin. So many people have no clue what its like and they are so ignorant and put me down....anyways, to any1 that read this,I appreciate u and God bless.

I think most people on here know exactly how you feel. We've all had those lows and most of us have suffered with acne for a long time. I started getting acne in 6th grade and I'm 25 now and still battle with it. It really is difficult to feel confident when you feel like everyone just sees the marks on your face. Honestly, not looking in the mirror helps. Try not to focus on your skin, don't let it define who you are and people that judge you for it aren't worth your time. If your dermatologist is correct in their diagnosis then there seems to be quite a few things you can try to improve your skin. What have they advised you to do so far?

[wishingitallaway]

So I'm 20 years old. I have been dealing with acne since about 15-16. I have scars that are like keloids formed from past pimples on both sides of the corners of my neck under my jaw. I have 1 big one on each side and several medium sized bumps on both side. I also have a scar on the left side of my cheek and little dents in the temple areas. Also in between my eyebrows I have a bump/scar. And on my back/ behind the shoulder areas I have several bumps. I go through really bad lows and rarely have highs. I haven't dated in awhile even though I'm really a sweet caring guy, very genuine. Its just hard on me emotionally its like every day is a grind. I always feel when I'm on the train to work that I'm being stared at, especially by girls and its embarrassing. I often feel ashamed because every barber I go to for a haircut and a shave always complains about shaving my neck. It makes me cry. I feel like these issues just keep taking away from my potential and I just cant stop it. The insecurity, the shame, the loneliness has ruined the once confident, happy, outgoing guy I once was.wen I started getting rejected more often as the ache got worse it just created this loser feeling inside me. I am a guy that loves sports particularly baseball and continue to work hard at it but on my team wen I messed up a couple times I just was embarrassed and its because I don't feel good enough and I feel ugly and it shakes the confidence that I need to be a good pitcher. But I have lost confidence in myself sonic cant perform well. I'm just tired of feeling worthless and ugly. My sister always tells me I'm good looking, she is 22 but her skin is fine. But she knows how I feel. I get so embarrassed st work, I work with little kids, some with behavior issues and disabilities. But its embarrassing when they ask why I have so many "booboos" and all the other teaches are right there. It makes me feel less worthy. I just wish there was a way I can get rid of all tthese bumps and scars so I can be that guy that is confident. And can get girls or a nice girl that's pretty and just have it go away so I wont feel ugly and hopeless. I'm also scared because a past relationship did go sour due to my back acne it like freaked out the girl I was seeing at the time. We weren't together for that long anyways but it just hurts me. My dermatologist told me I have the skin disease "hidradenitis supparativa" about a month ago. I'm just hoping there's a way so I can be happy with clear skin. So many people have no clue what its like and they are so ignorant and put me down....anyways, to any1 that read this,I appreciate u and God bless.

I think most people on here know exactly how you feel. We've all had those lows and most of us have suffered with acne for a long time. I started getting acne in 6th grade and I'm 25 now and still battle with it. It really is difficult to feel confident when you feel like everyone just sees the marks on your face. Honestly, not looking in the mirror helps. Try not to focus on your skin, don't let it define who you are and people that judge you for it aren't worth your time. If your dermatologist is correct in their diagnosis then there seems to be quite a few things you can try to improve your skin. What have they advised you to do so far?

thank u I will try...I am taking these pills he prescribed for me and using bp cream on my back

[DukeBlueDevils]

"The insecurity, the shame, the loneliness has ruined the once confident, happy, outgoing guy I once was"

This. Sounds just like me.

[Aballarina]

I can relate as well. Id say I had moderate acne thru highs cool which i know is not as bad as some. I had such oily skin I couldn't go 2 hours without looking super shiny! All my friends and boyfriend had clear, nice skin. It sucked, my friends would always give me "advice" even tho they didn't understand. And recently I got a pretty bad case of perioral dermatitis that lasted about 3 months that no matter how much I covered up it was so visible. I'm 22 and I work in a restaurant, and I have had soo many customers ask me what's wrong with my face, had a few employees laugh about it, etc. people are deffinetely so cruel. Just think one day you will have clear, beautiful skin. And to be honest.. Us that suffer with acne know how to care for our skin way better then the rest, so we don't fake tan or do much else to age our skins. And we are much more sincere people inside. I wish you the best of luck and I'm sure you will be clear I think unless you are born with something that you will be clear again

[Elsewhere]

You are not alone. This place was made for acne sufferers, because there's a lot of people out there who just. don't. get. it. They brush it off, they have no point of reference, they don't know what it feels like to be so overwhelmed with hating your own reflection that it makes even breathing difficult. The long term emotional affects of acne can be deep and scarring. And dealing with the onset of those feelings is devastating.

There is hope. You are among friends here. This is a safe place to talk about it, as much and as often as you need to.

[pooratbest]

Can definately sympathise with you my friend. It's impossible for me to imagine life with decent skin. Don't you hate it too how no one else ever seems to suffer with it? When was the last time you saw some one else with acne? It might be a good thing- it makes me think we simply just don't notice it on others, and we obsess about it on ourselves. I feel like i'm been punished for something I did in another life or things like that with it. Hopefully one day a miricle drug or treatment will come along and we'll all be saved! I wish.

Edited by pooratbest, 30 November 2012 - 05:48 AM.

[dejaclairevoyant]

We can all relate. It's more than relating, your feelings are my feelings.

[graceleigh31]

Hi,

I will echo what has already been said, which is that it helps a little knowing that other people feel the same ways that you do, even if those people are not the ones you interact with in your daily life. I think that sometimes that's my only consolation when I'm feeling completely repulsive, alone, and hopeless.

The other thing is this: please try to find doctors and/or NPs who will treat you like a real person, who will recognize the effects that your skin has on your psychological health, and who will continue to try new and different things based on how you respond to treatment. I have seen SO many dermatologists who, after hearing that I have been on Accutane already, basically think there is nothing else to do, and they are so completely wrong. There is always something that you can try, and I think that also helps to fight the feelings of hopelessness.

Hang in there.

[wishingitallaway]

Thank you everyone for the support. Glad I'm not lonely in this fight against acne. @graceleigh31 yes I have been on it too for 6 months I just found a new dermatologist she has given me new creams to use.

[Havefaith22]

Yeah if it makes you feel any better, I think you sound quite charming. I'm 23 and completely know how you feel to feel unattractive and like people are not seeing you for you, but like I said I think your personality is very attractive from your post so stay positive and be an inspirational to us all

22***

[aurielle357]

Well, having been on the other side, I mean, being insecure around guys because of my acne, one of the biggest things I've learned is a) if someone truly likes you, they won't care about your acne and b) Although I know how incredibly horribly hard it is to be confident with acne, it really doesn't make a person a thousand percent more attractive. I was just at the mall today, sitting at Panera, and I saw this guy with pretty moderate acne walk by with his friend who had clear skin, and you know what? I thought the guy with acne was hotter. I liked his hair, his build and his general style, and confidence and swagger with which he carried himself. Even though its so hard to believe for yourself, you have to keep telling yourself that there is a lot more to you than your acne. When someone falls in love with someone, it better not be just because of their face, but because of their mind, personality, soul, and body as well.