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#41 BMarieWantsNoAcne

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 11:59 AM

Exactly what you said, Brownilocks! Haha. And whenever I start thinking about side affects I just tell myself to take it one pill at a time. I won't get 50 different side affects because of one pill, and it helps. It may not be the most accurate thing, but it makes me feel better about it.

#42 ughhhhh

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Posted 20 December 2012 - 01:59 PM

What a bad day.
Had my derm appointment, and apparently my AST levels were too high to go up on my dose. Should be 6-40, mine are 47. They said there could be a lot of reasons for this, including bad lab work, but they can't put me on a higher dose in case the accutane is affecting my liver. So I'm staying at 20mgs for this month, which is devastating because I feel like my scarring is only going to get worse. The PA said I look so much better than the last time she saw me (6 weeks ago) and that she's seen people clear on the 20mgs, but if it's already affecting my liver...
I'm also experiencing hair loss. This is very common for postpartum women around this time, but my derm confirmed for me today that accutane can make it worse. I want to be hopeful but it is really hard when it just seems like everything is going downhill. It is the only side effect I experience other than dry skin :( I dont know what to do anymore.

#43 ughhhhh

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 01:49 PM

Day 46 -
Going through the "is accutane even working" phase. I am not getting new pimples (a few tiny ones) and almost everything from the IB has calmed down and went away but all my cysts and nodules I had at the start of treatment are still here and haven't moved. Keep fighting the urge to get a shot at the derm because its expensive and I come home a bloody bruised mess. I keep thinking this isn't acne and its never going to go away. Nose is a little oily in the morning but otherwise my face is peeling a bit. Back is killing me at the end of the day.

#44 Brownilocks

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 02:44 PM

My back was hurting bad recently too but I upped my water intake and that seems to be helping. I feel ya on the stubornness of the cysts... I keep telling myself that its going to take longer for the ones that are there to die than for it to stop new ones since the old ones got more out of control before the med got into our systems. Thats the hardest for me to get rid of and the cortisone shots I've been getting don't help with anything but tiny ones. Didn't affect the big ones at all so its not really worth it for me... I think the fact that you're not getting new ones is a good sign so keep holding on! I'm about at the same stage right now. New ones are not that bad and getting less of them, but old ones just look the same everyday. It's very frustrating. I've heard that month 3 is really when those of us who are more severe will see more progress, but users on here have said 4 or 5 months even if its really bad or stubborn to get noticeable results. I hope it doesn't take us that long but just remember, this is going to be a bump in the road for us one day that we will look back on and learn from. I'm getting a good lesson in patience right now and in understanding how lucky I am to have the great people in my life who feel for me and see me beyond my skin! :) Keep at it girl and stay positive! ;)

#45 ughhhhh

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 12:31 AM

My back was hurting bad recently too but I upped my water intake and that seems to be helping. I feel ya on the stubornness of the cysts... I keep telling myself that its going to take longer for the ones that are there to die than for it to stop new ones since the old ones got more out of control before the med got into our systems. Thats the hardest for me to get rid of and the cortisone shots I've been getting don't help with anything but tiny ones. Didn't affect the big ones at all so its not really worth it for me... I think the fact that you're not getting new ones is a good sign so keep holding on! I'm about at the same stage right now. New ones are not that bad and getting less of them, but old ones just look the same everyday. It's very frustrating. I've heard that month 3 is really when those of us who are more severe will see more progress, but users on here have said 4 or 5 months even if its really bad or stubborn to get noticeable results. I hope it doesn't take us that long but just remember, this is going to be a bump in the road for us one day that we will look back on and learn from. I'm getting a good lesson in patience right now and in understanding how lucky I am to have the great people in my life who feel for me and see me beyond my skin! :) Keep at it girl and stay positive! ;)


Thanks for the positive reinforcement :) really needed to read this after a breakdown today. My nightmare cyst that started this whole thing made a comeback tonight :( nasty thing wept for like 6 weeks and went away after three injections right before I started accutane. A couple days ago I started feeling a bruise in the same spot ( which is scarred and beat to hell in the first place) and I swore I would just wait it out til my next appt but it opened and looked all infected today, threw me into a total crying rage! I haven't had any gross oozing since I started tane, I was really hoping that was over. I feel like I'm living a nightmare. I just want to take pictures with my daughter and go to mommy groups and show her off, not hide away in my house...
But my right cheek is clearing up, forehead is clear except for one nodule, and I know it could be a lot worse- I keep reminding myself I have a good life, a perfect baby who actually let's me sleep, a husband and family who love me. But I'm still waiting to wake up so I can enjoy just the good parts of my life.

#46 BMarieWantsNoAcne

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:19 AM

*hugs* I'm sorry about that nasty zit! I know it's frustrating. Just try your best to not think about it, and focus on that wonderful child and husband of yours instead. Otherwise you'll finish your treatment with clear skin, but will realize you missed out on things with your family because you were too busy thinking about your skin. We can get through this!

#47 ughhhhh

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Posted 10 January 2013 - 01:58 AM

*hugs* I'm sorry about that nasty zit! I know it's frustrating. Just try your best to not think about it, and focus on that wonderful child and husband of yours instead. Otherwise you'll finish your treatment with clear skin, but will realize you missed out on things with your family because you were too busy thinking about your skin. We can get through this!

I totally agree. I've vowed to take my danger out once every day while I have my full time with her. I'm putting on makeup and it makes me just a little more confident to not see the red marks, most of my face is red marks at this point, just these nasty things that will take forever to go away. We went to the mall today and inked out a few new outfits, which made me happy so it was a good day. Husband said I looked pretty, I love him so much.

#48 BMarieWantsNoAcne

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Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:00 AM

Aw. He sounds like a keeper. :)

#49 Brownilocks

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 11:31 AM

Hey ughhhh!
Hope you are getting a little better every day! :) I'm seeing improvement but its massively slow! Are you still dealing with cysts? I am. :( They seem like they just don't want to go away and the shots never help mine at all.... I'm going to see if there's anything else I can possibly do to speed up the process the next time I go to the derm... Let us know how your blood tests go this month. Are your side effects getting any better? Wishing you well in the meantime!

#50 ughhhhh

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

Your situation sounds the same as mine brownilocks, I just have these lingering things that I'm afraid are permanent, no change. The only pimples I get are teeny tiny ones but I want these lumps to go away! Blood test on Wednesday, derm appt on Monday. I really hope I get bumped up!
Side effects are minimal, aside from potential hair thinning, my husband says I have tons of hair but I get some every time I run my hands through it. I don't style it at all anymore because I don't want to mess with it.

#51 ughhhhh

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 02:10 PM

Day 61. Today might be the worst day so far.
Saw my derm, blood test came out fine so I got bumped up to 40mg (once daily for some reason). He examined my face and said I was getting better, but then proceeded to tell me "oh this scar is going to get worse, this one might be a hypertrophic scar" and laughed off my questions about the ongoing treatment. (I asked if it was normal to have some lesions be so deep and he just laughed and said "no you're an exception". He said the severity of my disease means I might be on the treatment for 10 months, and that I might have to go to 2.0mg/kg (100mg) but that because of my scarring we have to ramp up slowly. He made me feel like shit all the while with a smile on his face. My husband wants me to change derms but I've already seen three and they all said the same thing, and I know how hard it is to change in ipledge.
Why did this happen to me? I never wanted to be on accutane, my skin has always been good. I'm going to be on this drug when my kid turns 1. I'm never going to escape.

Edited by ughhhhh, 21 January 2013 - 02:11 PM.


#52 Miss Soloist

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 02:19 PM

Day 61. Today might be the worst day so far.
Saw my derm, blood test came out fine so I got bumped up to 40mg (once daily for some reason). He examined my face and said I was getting better, but then proceeded to tell me "oh this scar is going to get worse, this one might be a hypertrophic scar" and laughed off my questions about the ongoing treatment. (I asked if it was normal to have some lesions be so deep and he just laughed and said "no you're an exception". He said the severity of my disease means I might be on the treatment for 10 months, and that I might have to go to 2.0mg/kg (100mg) but that because of my scarring we have to ramp up slowly. He made me feel like shit all the while with a smile on his face. My husband wants me to change derms but I've already seen three and they all said the same thing, and I know how hard it is to change in ipledge.
Why did this happen to me? I never wanted to be on accutane, my skin has always been good. I'm going to be on this drug when my kid turns 1. I'm never going to escape.

I'm so sorry. I ask myself the same thing everyday 'Why me?'. It's so incrediby cruel. I feel sick at my reflection whereas once I actually really liked my apperance. You're not alone. I know what you mean about Derms. They can be very dismissive, even here. They're not going through it. at the end of the day they can go home and forget - they don't have to live it out like we do.

Finished Roaccutane!


#53 ughhhhh

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Posted 22 January 2013 - 03:21 PM


Day 61. Today might be the worst day so far.
Saw my derm, blood test came out fine so I got bumped up to 40mg (once daily for some reason). He examined my face and said I was getting better, but then proceeded to tell me "oh this scar is going to get worse, this one might be a hypertrophic scar" and laughed off my questions about the ongoing treatment. (I asked if it was normal to have some lesions be so deep and he just laughed and said "no you're an exception". He said the severity of my disease means I might be on the treatment for 10 months, and that I might have to go to 2.0mg/kg (100mg) but that because of my scarring we have to ramp up slowly. He made me feel like shit all the while with a smile on his face. My husband wants me to change derms but I've already seen three and they all said the same thing, and I know how hard it is to change in ipledge.
Why did this happen to me? I never wanted to be on accutane, my skin has always been good. I'm going to be on this drug when my kid turns 1. I'm never going to escape.

I'm so sorry. I ask myself the same thing everyday 'Why me?'. It's so incrediby cruel. I feel sick at my reflection whereas once I actually really liked my apperance. You're not alone. I know what you mean about Derms. They can be very dismissive, even here. They're not going through it. at the end of the day they can go home and forget - they don't have to live it out like we do.


Thank you :) I'm trying to learn to accept my skin as it is now, since it will look this way for a long time. I got married about a year and a half ago, and I can actually say I was the prettiest I've ever been, I loved our pictures. Now, I'm deformed.

#54 Miss Soloist

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Posted 22 January 2013 - 03:30 PM

Funny you should should say that, last year I went to a wedding with my then boyfriend and everyone told me how beautiful I looked. I also feel deformed too. I keep asking myself how can this happen? I imagine myself as I was, i kind of envisage the old me like a ghost - it's weird. It's like I can see myself as I was but when I look in the mirror - it's someone else.
Now it's like I inhabit a body that is no longer mine. But, i still have hope there is some redemption. We mustn't lose hope that we can't get back to a stage that is acceptable to us. How is the accutane going?

Finished Roaccutane!


#55 ughhhhh

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Posted 22 January 2013 - 03:44 PM

Funny you should should say that, last year I went to a wedding with my then boyfriend and everyone told me how beautiful I looked. I also feel deformed too. I keep asking myself how can this happen? I imagine myself as I was, i kind of envisage the old me like a ghost - it's weird. It's like I can see myself as I was but when I look in the mirror - it's someone else.
Now it's like I inhabit a body that is no longer mine. But, i still have hope there is some redemption. We mustn't lose hope that we can't get back to a stage that is acceptable to us. How is the accutane going?


Yes, that is exactly how I feel. I'm on day 62, 2nd day on 40 mg. Definitely feeling the dryness, a little headache and need to drink more water. I have a rash all over my hands but if I ignore it it's okay. And I also have weird pain in my ankle when I point it down, feels like I hit it on something but I don't remember doing anything to cause it.
I know you were looking into accutane, are you going on it?

#56 leelowe1

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Posted 22 January 2013 - 08:05 PM

Day 61. Today might be the worst day so far.
Saw my derm, blood test came out fine so I got bumped up to 40mg (once daily for some reason). He examined my face and said I was getting better, but then proceeded to tell me "oh this scar is going to get worse, this one might be a hypertrophic scar" and laughed off my questions about the ongoing treatment. (I asked if it was normal to have some lesions be so deep and he just laughed and said "no you're an exception". He said the severity of my disease means I might be on the treatment for 10 months, and that I might have to go to 2.0mg/kg (100mg) but that because of my scarring we have to ramp up slowly. He made me feel like shit all the while with a smile on his face. My husband wants me to change derms but I've already seen three and they all said the same thing, and I know how hard it is to change in ipledge.
Why did this happen to me? I never wanted to be on accutane, my skin has always been good. I'm going to be on this drug when my kid turns 1. I'm never going to escape.

Keep your head up sweetie.  Some derms are assholes by nature so don't mind them.  Just know your family loves you regardless of the condition your skin is in.  It will get better but it will take time.  I am at day 100 for my moderate acne and far my face has gotten better, gotten worse, gotten better and now has deterioated to levels that were pre accutane.  I only have 2 months left too.

 

Acne is a puzzle that just takes a bit more time to solve.   As for scars, focus on clearing up the acne first and then you can tackle your scars - one step at a time.


It's a rocky road but like everything else in life, there is always a beginning and an end.  Here's to finding my end.

 

God is good to me..........more than I deserve.

 

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.


#57 ughhhhh

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Posted 22 January 2013 - 09:22 PM

Day 61. Today might be the worst day so far.
Saw my derm, blood test came out fine so I got bumped up to 40mg (once daily for some reason). He examined my face and said I was getting better, but then proceeded to tell me "oh this scar is going to get worse, this one might be a hypertrophic scar" and laughed off my questions about the ongoing treatment. (I asked if it was normal to have some lesions be so deep and he just laughed and said "no you're an exception". He said the severity of my disease means I might be on the treatment for 10 months, and that I might have to go to 2.0mg/kg (100mg) but that because of my scarring we have to ramp up slowly. He made me feel like shit all the while with a smile on his face. My husband wants me to change derms but I've already seen three and they all said the same thing, and I know how hard it is to change in ipledge.
Why did this happen to me? I never wanted to be on accutane, my skin has always been good. I'm going to be on this drug when my kid turns 1. I'm never going to escape.

Keep your head up sweetie.  Some derms are assholes by nature so don't mind them.  Just know your family loves you regardless of the condition your skin is in.  It will get better but it will take time.  I am at day 100 for my moderate acne and far my face has gotten better, gotten worse, gotten better and now has deterioated to levels that were pre accutane.  I only have 2 months left too.

 

Acne is a puzzle that just takes a bit more time to solve.   As for scars, focus on clearing up the acne first and then you can tackle your scars - one step at a time.

thanks, I am trying to ignore what he said. It's a little disconcerting that he can't even tell if something is a scar though, no? Shouldn't it be obvious? And I'm just worried about this one because its on my forehead and it just stands out because the rest of my forehead is clear. If it's hypertrophic I'm gonna be pissed. 

 

Sorry yours is giving you so much trouble! You know that people clear in the final month so keep your chin up too. I'm sure it wil get better. If not, there's always spiro to try :\ 



#58 Brownilocks

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Posted 22 January 2013 - 10:03 PM

Hang on as best you can! It might sound cheesy but you WILL beat this! I don't think your derm is very sensitive to what you are going through. Not sure why he would decide on a career in managing skin conditions and then come off like a dismisive a-hole when a high priority patient needed his help... He went to school to specialize in this field so he should be eager to share his knowledge with PAYING clients, sheesh! You could always get another derm to look at it and give you another opinion on your treatment before proceeding. If it gives you peace of mind and the costs wouldn't be too high, I wouldn't hesitate to do so. Maybe bumping up your dosage will be a turning point! Keep holding on to hope! I was the same as you before this acne outburst all over my face. Best skin of my life the last couple of years. So smooth and hardly needed any makeup, just a thin, thin layer... We'll get back there, it's just majorly frustrating that acne treatment take so friggin' LONG!!! :angry:



#59 ughhhhh

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 03:06 PM

Day 70. 

    A couple of new pimples, and one cyst really deep under the skin thats slowly growing. Scared of that one, not sure if I should get it drained. Haven't seen any change in my nodules and still feeling really deformed :( Started applying some manuka honey to active stuff and my red marks to see if I can get them to fade a bit. Husband says I look normal with makeup on, I dont think so. 

 

Getting super dry all over on 40mg. Lips aren't cracking, but eyes hurt, getting some joint pain in my ankle, finger and knee all on the right side. Going to start doing yoga to help alleviate that. Also taking glucosamine. I am still losing hair which also stresses me out but both my therapist and derm said it likely would have happened even if I wasn't on accutane. 

 

I am also gluten/wheat, soy, sugar and dairy free for almost a month (soy/dairy for much longer). No difference :\ 



#60 Brownilocks

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 12:40 PM

Sorry to hear that you are getting new ones. :( Maybe the upped dosage is giving you another little IB before it starts clearing? The dryness has to be good though. My derm told me the drier the lips the more likely that its going to start working more. Mine are just starting to get a little dry and cracking in the corners, so I hope that's a good sign. Any progress with your old spots? Are they still like before or getting any smaller? My old ones are shrinking but its just TAKING FOREVER!!! Have the biggest cyst yet on my right jaw under my ear (about the size of a quarter and nickel put together). :( I know how you feel about the makeup, my husband says the same thing, but I can still see the bumpiness and now its mixed with the dry skin. Still makes it more tolerable though for going out and fewer people notice it unless they get up close or stare for a long time so that's good. Keep your chin up. It's definetely hard to do some days. I get real low at times and then better if I can get my mind off of it. Its impossible to avoid having bad days once in a while though if you ask me. Its just good that we both have good support systems around us and have started our treatment so that we are (slowly) moving towards a goal! I can't wait until we are on the other side of the fence, clear, happy, and giving advice to others who are starting this process and scared/sad like we are/were. I think its going to work for us, its just going to take its sweet ass time, grrr...