No, I have an obsession with wanting to know that I can get a girlfriend. Sex is not my objective. I just want to discover that there are girls out there who want me. Even if a relationship would only last for 2 seconds, that would be enough for me. I want to be in the market.
I can tell you with certainty that you can get a girlfriend. Most guys can. Why wouldn't you be able to get one?
And I'm not going to spend my entire life searching. That would be a waste of time and effort. There are lots of people (maybe the majority?) out there who wander from one relationship into another. I find it extremely silly that I have to be alone all the time. I see all my friends get a relationship, they are going to move and live together and I stand still. I don't do that voluntarily.
Yeah... *sigh* Everybody is different. You ain't your friends and your friends ain't you. What do you mean by standing still? How I interpret that is that you feel you need a partner in order to live your life to the fullest? Did I interpret that right?
I hear stuff like "love comes when you're not looking", "you have to be content with your life", "you have to be positive", blablablablablablablabla, but that clearly isn't working for me. So when does love come anyway? Within 1 year, 2 years, 3 years???
I have been "not looking" for over 10 years now.
Love comes when you're not looking means that when people try to make things happen, they often don't as it doesn't work that way. It just has to flow naturally i.e. you've just got to be you and go about your business and when someone sees you and is attracted to you and you meet and you find that you are attracted to her then there is no effort needed. That's the way good relationships start, if you ask me. All this B.S. dating site stuff and so on is a lottery. And when's the last time you won the lottery?
You have to be content with your life is a good piece of advice. I think you need to realize that the life people dream of, the ideal thing where they have a full life filled with joy and freedom and romance and friends and success...is not necessarily ever going to happen for everyone. It may all seem so accesible and so simple and so beautiful out there but it's not always that. There's so much confusion, so many tragedies, so many problems, so much fear, so much...trouble...in people's lives that you shouldn't be surprised that when you go out there that people don't necessarily... I mean there's a lot of distance between people. Anyway, the world is troubled and deeply messed up for a large part. So if you e.g. can say that you have (and here come the clichés) a roof over your head and food and your health...then you should count your blessings in and of itself. You can have desires but don't be surprised when they are not fulfilled. And don't beat yourself up as you don't control everything.
I don't really know what people mean by staying positive... Maybe it's that when you give up on love that you maybe won't notice nice women? lol I haven't got a real clue.
And if you are the last one left without a relationship, then YOU have a problem and not the society. There is one thing I learned and that is that you have to adapt to society and the society won't adapt to you.
Why does one have a problem when one is single? This obsession that people have with getting a relationship just for the sake of it. lol I'm half joking with that last sentence. But I think that when people say "I love you" to their partners they must mean it. The sentence "I love you" shouldn't mean the same as "I'm so happy I found you as now I'm not single anymore!". I think romance blossoms between two people and it's unstoppable and when it's "meant to be" it's beautiful. But there's also such a thing as a relationship which is based on people wanting to fulfill some kind of desire and that's something else.
Try not to get so worked up. Women can sniff out desperation. And honestly who wants a guy who's desperate? Just be you and be open and if it's meant to be it will happen (as long as you're not a recluse). And if it isn't meant to be, well, then just be happy anyway.
It isn't disgusting, in fact it's the opposite of that.
The only reason for wanting a girl who is a virgin is because it tells you she's not a whore. Personally, for my next gf if I found out she's not a virgin; that's perfectly okay. But if I find out she's been with like 20, even 10 guys really, that tells me she's a bit too loose for my standards (no pun intended). It's a way of measuring character really and the type of girl I PERSONALLY desire, who is a bit more reserved, intelligent, can have a good time but doesn't go get smashed every weekend and sleep with a different guy.
Ex: I was at a party in the summer and this girl we just met (via friend of a friend) slept with one of my buds on the first night! I was interested in her but after finding that out it turned me off completely I could never trust a woman like that who does that so quickly. It tells me she doesn't really think things through and does things on a whim. Granted, they are dating now, but jeez, get to know the guy a little before you let him stuff his wiener schnitzel into your punani.
Well what you refer to as a "whore" seems to be an immature woman, right? I can understand your point of view; you can't have a healthy relationship with an immature woman, that's true. So it's not that you "prefer" a virgin or "want" a virgin...it's that you'd "in and of itself like it" if she was a virgin. Alright then. That's something else than what I was referring to in my angry post then. lol
Edited by Lapis lazuli, 11 March 2013 - 05:26 AM.