Jump to content

Photo

Being A Virgin...


104 replies to this topic

#1 DukeBlueDevils

DukeBlueDevils

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 279
    Likes: 18
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Georgia
  • Joined: 05-June 11

Achievements

     

Posted 29 October 2012 - 01:33 AM

I'm 19 years old. I'll be 20 in about 6 months...and I'm a virgin (a MALE virgin). I'm so self conscious about this and just feel so abnormal and weird because of it. It doesn't help that my "friends" constantly give me shit about being one. It makes me feel even worse.

BUT I have made it to third base before (twice with the same girl on two different occasions). I would go into detail but I'd rather not. If you don't know what third base is look it up. So I've had some kind of sexual relations before. Just not full on sex.

All the people I know have long already lost their virginity. Most people (well most MALES) lose their virginity in their teenage years (13-19). Very few lose it before 13 and very few lose it after 19. Like I said this is all applying to males. Being a female virgin is not embarrassing at all. For a guy it is.

I'm 6 months away from being in the after 19 category and I'm seriously starting to wonder if I'm ever going to lose my virginity. I'm a average looking guy. Honestly. Without acne I'd say I was a above average looking guy, but that will never happen again. But that's another story.

I'm just wondering if anyone else is also a virgin in these forums or have had a similar experience as I'm having. I just feel so alone in this matter. I'm worried about how a girl (when I find one...) is going to react when I tell her I'm still a virgin at my age. I'm probably going to get laughed at. It's so uncommon at my age to still be a virgin.

Anyways let me wrap this up (no pun intended). Just had to get this off my chest. Any responses would be appreciated. Thanks.

#2 LeaveMeAlone

LeaveMeAlone

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 43
    Likes: 12
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Sydney, Australia
  • Interests:Family, music, sport, writing, friends
  • Joined: 25-June 12

Posted 29 October 2012 - 02:40 AM

You're not alone bro.

I'm a virgin as well, but I'm a 17-year-old guy. The furthest I've been with a girl was third base, but that was with my ex-girlfriend. Two years ago to be exact. Hell, I was even considering going all the way, but in the end, I knew it wasn't worth it, because I personally felt that she was not for me. We are two completely different people. I recall talking about this with someone else just the other day or so. He was feeling down about being a virgin at a young age.

"I'm a virgin and I'm proud. Trust me, it's better to be a virgin than a father at an early age. You should be proud that you're still a virgin. It takes more guts to refrain from sex and to ignore the comments as you're still a teenager. Save it for someone special, someone you love and trust, so you'll always remember it as a happy moment. Be patient and wait until you're overflowing with desire and affection for your partner. Remember that some things in life are worth protecting, once you lose it, you lose it forever. It doesn't matter how old you are, where you are, it matters who you're with. Your time will come."

That's what I felt and still feel about being a virgin. On a scale of 1-10, my average rating from girls would be around 7.5, but that was without acne, so God knows what people think of me now, but you can judge from my profile picture. At times, I've had to urge to go out and just do it, but I feel that it's not worth it, because I hope to find someone special to do it with, but that thought's been wearing a bit thin for quite a while now.

I know how you feel bro.

#3 emmylouise

emmylouise

    New Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 22
    Likes: 11
About Me
  • Gender:Female
  • Interests:Health, wellbeing and beauty
  • Joined: 09-October 11

Posted 29 October 2012 - 03:09 AM

I really think people should not judge others on whether they have or hadnt had sex. Its private and absolutely no ones business if your a virgin or not. Your sex life is no ones business but you and your partners and if you are a virgin, its only your business. Its sickening to know that people brush all virgins off as "naive" and "unexperienced", thats not the case at all. i think they are smart as they didnt just hump the first thing that came along.

theres a misconception through out our culture that we are all going to find the love of our lifes at 17 and embark on a passionate sex life from then. it doesnt happen for everyone. Tell your friends to shut up

#4 poi6

poi6

    Giggity...lol

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 348
    Likes: 60
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Canada
  • Interests:Music, Snowboarding , Longboarding ,Hockey ,Guitair ..
  • Joined: 18-November 11

Achievements

     

Posted 29 October 2012 - 06:30 AM

Lol Im I'm definitely still going to be a virgin by 19...

#5 Ghostunit

Ghostunit

    Senior Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 3,766
    Gallery Images: 15
    Likes: 130
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Massachusetts
  • Joined: 02-November 07

Posted 29 October 2012 - 07:14 AM

To make you feel better, I am almost 26 and I'm still a virgin. I'm too shy and I am terrible at meeting girls. My skin is holding me up. Having skin problem makes it even harder. I think there are website that you can try to hook up.

Edited by Ghostunit, 29 October 2012 - 07:15 AM.


#6 Lapis lazuli

Lapis lazuli

    Veteran Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 1,737
    Likes: 185
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Netherlands
  • Joined: 25-February 08

Posted 29 October 2012 - 08:36 AM

I really think people should not judge others on whether they have or hadnt had sex. Its private and absolutely no ones business if your a virgin or not. Your sex life is no ones business but you and your partners and if you are a virgin, its only your business. Its sickening to know that people brush all virgins off as "naive" and "unexperienced", thats not the case at all. i think they are smart as they didnt just hump the first thing that came along.

theres a misconception through out our culture that we are all going to find the love of our lifes at 17 and embark on a passionate sex life from then. it doesnt happen for everyone. Tell your friends to shut up


I absolutely love your post. Posted Image

#7 o Havoc o

o Havoc o

    Havoc

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 1,149
    Likes: 161
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:London
  • Joined: 04-April 04

Posted 29 October 2012 - 10:11 AM

I'm 19 years old. I'll be 20 in about 6 months...and I'm a virgin (a MALE virgin). I'm so self conscious about this and just feel so abnormal and weird because of it. It doesn't help that my "friends" constantly give me shit about being one. It makes me feel even worse.

BUT I have made it to third base before (twice with the same girl on two different occasions). I would go into detail but I'd rather not. If you don't know what third base is look it up. So I've had some kind of sexual relations before. Just not full on sex.

All the people I know have long already lost their virginity. Most people (well most MALES) lose their virginity in their teenage years (13-19). Very few lose it before 13 and very few lose it after 19. Like I said this is all applying to males. Being a female virgin is not embarrassing at all. For a guy it is.

I'm 6 months away from being in the after 19 category and I'm seriously starting to wonder if I'm ever going to lose my virginity. I'm a average looking guy. Honestly. Without acne I'd say I was a above average looking guy, but that will never happen again. But that's another story.

I'm just wondering if anyone else is also a virgin in these forums or have had a similar experience as I'm having. I just feel so alone in this matter. I'm worried about how a girl (when I find one...) is going to react when I tell her I'm still a virgin at my age. I'm probably going to get laughed at. It's so uncommon at my age to still be a virgin.

Anyways let me wrap this up (no pun intended). Just had to get this off my chest. Any responses would be appreciated. Thanks.



Dude is no issue at all.

Wait for the right person.

#8 PaulH85

PaulH85

    Veteran Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 1,947
    Gallery Images: 11
    Blog Entries: 22
    Likes: 569
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Sheffield, England
  • Joined: 14-August 09

Posted 29 October 2012 - 03:11 PM

If we're categorising it on age then I guess I'm "winning" so far, at the age of 27. My experience with girls is absolute zero. You name it, I haven't done it. Maybe I'm missing out, maybe I'm not, I have no idea. What I do know is that feeling bad about it or letting it bother me doesn't help and would essentially be pointless. I just figure these things happen with the right people at the right time, when they're meant to and when you're ready. I don't base these things on religious beliefs or anything specific, it's just a personal belief that I wouldn't want to rush things and remove that "virgin" status just for the sake of it. I'd rather have a sexual relationship with my one partner whom I love, wherever they may be and wherever I may find them, and losing that status would just be a byproduct of when that time comes around, nothing more. Maybe that's soppy and maybe the hopeless romantic in me is stupid - considering that I've never made any attempt to actually make any of this stuff happen and I'd probably be to scared to act upon it if someone showed an interest in me anyway - but it's just how it is for me and that's how I feel. Personally, I'd rather it be right than for me to have regrets instead.

It doesn't have to be a big deal if that time comes further down the line compared to those around us. It's something personal to me and what's going on for others around me in comparison is kind of irrelevant. There are a number of reasons why I severely lack experience and any kind of confidence which may come with it, and yes, my struggles with acne over the years have played a massive part. In that respect, what I've missed out on so far may well have meant that I've gained other things instead. When I've struggled with my skin and major insecurities, anxiety, depression and all kinds of things, it's given me a level of empathy and understanding I wouldn't otherwise have had. If I could take my pick and choose between having those traits or losing my virginity, I'd choose to keep those traits every time. Lose those and you're nothing. Lose your virginity and you're just another guy amongst millions who lost their virginity. Get what I mean?

As guys, who are we to say that girls don't have the same sort of insecurities about such things? After all, they're in the same society as us with the same kind of pressures and expectations, and the same kind of peer groups. I'd be tempted to think they have more pressures because I'd bet that there are plenty of creeps out there looking for one thing only, and I'd also bet that the majority of horny teenage boys can be complete jerks to try and deal with most of the time! In both cases, though, any friends who mock because of it maybe aren't all that good at being your friend after all. Like emmylouise said, it isn't really the business of anyone else. As much as a cliche as it may be, these things happen when they're meant to.

If a girl or guy objects or outright rejects us due to a lack of experience, so be it. I must admit, I do wonder about that because I genuinely don't have any experience of any kind and I do wonder if that might seem weird to people, but I don't know, there are millions of people out there so who is to say that I can't find someone who will offer whatever understanding, empathy and patience I may need. The way I see it, if they figure I'm worth it, they won't mind at all and then I'd know that they're right for me as well. That would be a win-win situation. No reason why that can't happen for me, I guess, and there's no reason why it can't happen for you, too.

Posted Image

#9 tricky

tricky

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 86
    Likes: 11
About Me
  • Joined: 07-August 12

Achievements

     

Posted 29 October 2012 - 04:57 PM

I'm worried about how a girl (when I find one...) is going to react when I tell her I'm still a virgin at my age. I'm probably going to get laughed at.



Well I wouldn’t tell her. As a general rule I never tell a girlfriend how many girls I’ve slept with.. and I never ask them either, as there is never a right answer. Also, if you’re really worried about your performances on the night (when you do eventually lose it) just pop a Viagra and she’ll think you’re amazing and won’t give you any complaints!

#10 DukeBlueDevils

DukeBlueDevils

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 279
    Likes: 18
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Georgia
  • Joined: 05-June 11

Achievements

     

Posted 29 October 2012 - 05:59 PM

If we're categorising it on age then I guess I'm "winning" so far, at the age of 27. My experience with girls is absolute zero. You name it, I haven't done it. Maybe I'm missing out, maybe I'm not, I have no idea. What I do know is that feeling bad about it or letting it bother me doesn't help and would essentially be pointless. I just figure these things happen with the right people at the right time, when they're meant to and when you're ready. I don't base these things on religious beliefs or anything specific, it's just a personal belief that I wouldn't want to rush things and remove that "virgin" status just for the sake of it. I'd rather have a sexual relationship with my one partner whom I love, wherever they may be and wherever I may find them, and losing that status would just be a byproduct of when that time comes around, nothing more. Maybe that's soppy and maybe the hopeless romantic in me is stupid - considering that I've never made any attempt to actually make any of this stuff happen and I'd probably be to scared to act upon it if someone showed an interest in me anyway - but it's just how it is for me and that's how I feel. Personally, I'd rather it be right than for me to have regrets instead.

It doesn't have to be a big deal if that time comes further down the line compared to those around us. It's something personal to me and what's going on for others around me in comparison is kind of irrelevant. There are a number of reasons why I severely lack experience and any kind of confidence which may come with it, and yes, my struggles with acne over the years have played a massive part. In that respect, what I've missed out on so far may well have meant that I've gained other things instead. When I've struggled with my skin and major insecurities, anxiety, depression and all kinds of things, it's given me a level of empathy and understanding I wouldn't otherwise have had. If I could take my pick and choose between having those traits or losing my virginity, I'd choose to keep those traits every time. Lose those and you're nothing. Lose your virginity and you're just another guy amongst millions who lost their virginity. Get what I mean?

As guys, who are we to say that girls don't have the same sort of insecurities about such things? After all, they're in the same society as us with the same kind of pressures and expectations, and the same kind of peer groups. I'd be tempted to think they have more pressures because I'd bet that there are plenty of creeps out there looking for one thing only, and I'd also bet that the majority of horny teenage boys can be complete jerks to try and deal with most of the time! In both cases, though, any friends who mock because of it maybe aren't all that good at being your friend after all. Like emmylouise said, it isn't really the business of anyone else. As much as a cliche as it may be, these things happen when they're meant to.

If a girl or guy objects or outright rejects us due to a lack of experience, so be it. I must admit, I do wonder about that because I genuinely don't have any experience of any kind and I do wonder if that might seem weird to people, but I don't know, there are millions of people out there so who is to say that I can't find someone who will offer whatever understanding, empathy and patience I may need. The way I see it, if they figure I'm worth it, they won't mind at all and then I'd know that they're right for me as well. That would be a win-win situation. No reason why that can't happen for me, I guess, and there's no reason why it can't happen for you, too.

Posted Image


"In both cases, though, any friends who mock because of it maybe aren't all that good at being your friend after all."

This.

#11 Murph89

Murph89

    Veteran Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 1,000
    Likes: 193
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:NYC
  • Interests:Music, MMA, photography, fishing.
  • Joined: 14-June 10

Achievements

     

Posted 29 October 2012 - 06:23 PM

I want to offer you some advice, but Im afraid it may too much for this forum

#12 Randall Flagg

Randall Flagg

    Member

  • Moderators
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 583
    Gallery Images: 7
    Likes: 341
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:West Virginia
  • Interests:Reading, Writing, Hiking, Weight Lifting
  • Joined: 23-May 12

Posted 29 October 2012 - 08:36 PM

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18. Don't think about it so much, bud...let it happen naturally in due time. You're a young guy and it's not at all uncommon to still be a virgin at the age of 19...most guys that age try to rush it and in the long run that's a regrettable decision. I know it seems like something you want to happen sooner rather than later, but something like this is worth waiting for instead of worrying yourself to death about it.

#13 Ilovemesomevanity

Ilovemesomevanity

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 540
    Likes: 95
About Me
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Earth
  • Joined: 03-August 11

Posted 29 October 2012 - 11:22 PM

im a year behind you, im 19 in about 7 months... psh at least youve gotten somewhere ive never been asked out... i freakin need a date to winter formal! well i dont neeed one, but i dont really care about prom since everyone just goes stag anyway, winter formal is like THE dance where everyone goes with a date... so really youre better off than me. i just want to be wanted hah. :| ...hold on am i the only girl replying to this? LOL

#14 poi6

poi6

    Giggity...lol

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 348
    Likes: 60
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Canada
  • Interests:Music, Snowboarding , Longboarding ,Hockey ,Guitair ..
  • Joined: 18-November 11

Achievements

     

Posted 30 October 2012 - 06:26 AM

im a year behind you, im 19 in about 7 months... psh at least youve gotten somewhere ive never been asked out... i freakin need a date to winter formal! well i dont neeed one, but i dont really care about prom since everyone just goes stag anyway, winter formal is like THE dance where everyone goes with a date... so really youre better off than me. i just want to be wanted hah. :| ...hold on am i the only girl replying to this? LOL


I would ask ya ;)

#15 tricky

tricky

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 86
    Likes: 11
About Me
  • Joined: 07-August 12

Achievements

     

Posted 30 October 2012 - 06:52 AM

I would ask ya


Maybe dan should include an online dating section to the forums lol

#16 o Havoc o

o Havoc o

    Havoc

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 1,149
    Likes: 161
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:London
  • Joined: 04-April 04

Posted 30 October 2012 - 07:33 AM

Lost mine at 18 and to be honest it wasn't great.

It's much more pleasurable with someone you care about.

#17 Ilovemesomevanity

Ilovemesomevanity

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 540
    Likes: 95
About Me
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Earth
  • Joined: 03-August 11

Posted 30 October 2012 - 03:40 PM


im a year behind you, im 19 in about 7 months... psh at least youve gotten somewhere ive never been asked out... i freakin need a date to winter formal! well i dont neeed one, but i dont really care about prom since everyone just goes stag anyway, winter formal is like THE dance where everyone goes with a date... so really youre better off than me. i just want to be wanted hah. Posted Image ...hold on am i the only girl replying to this? LOL


I would ask ya Posted Image


hahahaaa thanks XD

#18 betterness24

betterness24

    Rejuvenator

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 133
    Gallery Images: 1
    Blog Entries: 5
    Likes: 37
About Me
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Tennessee
  • Interests:God, Family, Friends, Guitar, Tennis, Painting, Weight-Lifting, Video-Games, Computer Tech, Android, Becoming Better... (work in progress)
  • Joined: 05-October 12

Posted 30 October 2012 - 04:04 PM

For people to write you off because you're a virgin just shows how ignorant the average guy/girl is. Your virginity is something to be cherished. If you lose it you lose it and contrary to popular belief (like girls who think they can have surgery and become virgins again) there's no going back.

I may sound completely old school here but seriously- if at all possible- wait till your married bro! The thrill, excitement, pleasure.. it doesn't fade away with marriage- it becomes stronger. You learn her, she learns you. You seriously become one person in that brief (or not so brief) amount of time.

Besides, just from purely statistical standpoint- if you're shooting for sex just to have sex- chances are you're going to catch something. And most of those STD's don't wash off.... You think acne on your face is bad?? ..... yea I'll let you finish that thought lol

Movies always portray married sex as boring- lame- stupid--- these idiots don't know what sex is!
Find that girl.. love her... marry her.. and enjoy a life-time of sex that only gets better as you go.

#19 TheSavyBanana

TheSavyBanana

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 223
    Gallery Images: 3
    Blog Entries: 6
    Likes: 74
About Me
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Northern California
  • Interests:Singing, hiking, art, music, piano, feminism, blogging, veganism, loving my pets, learning to love myself and be happy :)
  • Joined: 06-February 12

Achievements

     

Posted 30 October 2012 - 04:11 PM

I'm only sixteen and I've been ridiculed since I was thirteen because I haven't dated and I'm a virgin. We're all in the same boat on this forum. The guy who I go on dates with occasionally (I wish he would ask me out already!) is 19 and has never had a gf, and he's also a virgin. And guess what? He had perfect skin and is absolutely adorable and funny. He just hadn't found the right person; it just wasn't the right time. I was his first kiss too. Maybe it's just because I'm inexperienced too, but I really like that he doesn't have that kind of past. We can experience these intimate experiences for the first time together. Trust me, you are going to find a girl who loves you for who you are and appreciates that you waited. You are completely normal, so don't worry about!

Also, I would find some new friends. That's what I did, and I am so much happier. No one needs to be surrounded my mean, negative people.

#20 Kairasa

Kairasa

    Senior Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 2,783
    Likes: 253
About Me
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Austin, Texas
  • Joined: 25-February 07

Achievements

     

Posted 30 October 2012 - 04:51 PM

Your concerns are normal but they are unfounded, and lemme tell you why! =)

I am a woman, 23, and I choose to remain a virgin until married. I made the decision a few years ago, when I was single, and yes, i was completely honest with guys in not only have I not had sex, but I am not going to with you at this moment. Let's just say that made for some interesting/amusing reactions over the years. Even before I had made that decision, I was never okay personally with casual sex.

A bit of a background about me...as I said I'm 23, I'm engaged, and I've been in a relationship with a guy who is a virgin at almost age 24, for over 2 years...and we aren't getting married for another year and a half. Now, to some people that could be crazy and I'm not pushing my beliefs on you or anyone, the choice about who to share your sexuality with is your choice, not anyone elses. It's not a race or a competition, even though I think boys (and some men) see it as one. I refused to play that game, and to counter what you say about being undesirable, I think I became very desirable at times because I was a challenge. Which isn't a good thing, but you know how men are, since you are one. =P Kidding aside, making a choice about yourself on this level and sticking to it really shows a positive portion of your character, and THAT is very desirable and beautiful.

I know very few people who are still virgins, and even less who are as strict about boundaries as my fiancé and I. Those boundaries are determined by you, the other person in the relationship, and what your moral beliefs dictate. It makes no sense to compare yourself to other people or to feel like you are less of a man because of it. And it surely makes no sense to worry about a potential girl coming into your life and abruptly leaving because you aren't experienced enough for her. If that happens, there clearly isn't a deep enough connection (in my opinion) to even contemplate having sex with her.

Bottom line: Your virignity is solely your own, and you can choose who to give it to. That choice shouldn't be influenced by other people outside of your relationship.

PS: I don't find my virgin fiancé lame at all...in fact he's pretty much the coolest guy out there! ^_^




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users