24 replies to this topic

[mario90]

I always wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone you carde for. But sadly I was rejected my whole life, the main two respones i'd get are: "Let's just stay friends" and "Get away from me you disgusting monster". After gathering around 50-60 rejections i just gave up on it.
As soon i finished highschool my skin started to clear out, i got rid of most of my cysts and nodules so i decided to start again ttalking to girls. This time i'm not looking for a relationshipp but just a one night stand. Those girls dont care one bit for your looks, especially after you buy them a few drinks. I've been living like this for the past 3 years, it's just so much simpler like this then to bother trying to get one that i could acctually like, so i can get rejected again. I guess i did develope a fear of commitment because of my bad experiences, but if someone can tell why relationships are worthwhile, i might try again in a decade or so, when i get bored with just sex

[eastie]

lol it all depends on what you want in life and what do you enjoy.i dont enjoy pure sex that much for longer but I am a girl.I need closeness,support,warmth..if u dont need those,then there is nothing to go for.

[Elsewhere]

Nothing wrong with enjoying physical intimacy over emotional intimacy. Just be aware of how your needs change as time goes by. Honesty to yourself and your partners is key. But as long as you are honest, safe, and enjoying yourself, there's no rush to commit to a long-term relationship.

[Kairasa]

Well I have to speak from the relationship without sex camp... and my vote is that it's good to have an emotional connection with someone you are in a relationship with. To foster a relationship that is meaningful and will hopefully bring both of you joy.

Now, I am not unrealistic and I realize that my life choices are not that of many others, but I think the most crucial element is to be aware and considerate of the person's feelings that you are with, and know what their goal out of the relationship/hookup is.

Beyond that, just be honest with yourself and others.

[adhpn7]

relationships are worth it. everyone deserves someone to love and to love someone. it's just part of our nature to be monogamous and to have a special bond. sex can only fufill so much, but sex will never come close to the wonders and joys of love. *sorry if i'm corny, i'm a bit of a romantic*
(i understand there are asexual people out there, but this is different)
hang in there kiddo, have your fun now =) be safe lol, but just know there is someone for you waiting around the corner who will think you are gods gift.

Edited by adhpn7, 23 November 2012 - 06:40 AM.

[o Havoc o]

They can be worth but then again they can be a pain in the ass.

[nfamousjade]

They can be worth but then again they can be a pain in the ass.

Totally! lol

[Ghostunit]

Just sex? I wouldn't do that.. it will be worst in the future. Stay the way you are and forget about girls for now. If you're in your 20's, don't worry. I am 26 and I've been single for ever. I never had female friends... so yeah.. sucks. I am terrible at meeting girls now because of this. It isn't easy finding the right girl.
\\

Edited by Ghostunit, 24 November 2012 - 12:47 AM.

[Jlisondra]

rejection isn't easy to take when you truly like someone, so i get why you wouldn't want to pursue an emotional connection. imo it's worth it when you meet someone you always want to be there for, and who can compromise with you. it's worth it when they call you or text you, and they make your stomach flop. it's worth it when your friends bring that person up, and you get all shy because you know you honestly have feelings for that person.

anyhow, i am annoying myself with this mushyness. i think you know what you want for right now, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself...no strings attached. commitment isn't for everyone, but pay attention when you start wanting more than just sex, and that's not a bad thing either!

[GUNNKE]

Relationships are well worth it but you have to be able to accept and like yourself to a certain degree for a relationship to work. Insecurity is unattractive and destructive and will ultimately cause a relationship to go sour.

Just sex on it`s own is no substitute for a relationship. However, you miss it when you don`t get it so if like Mario90 you just want a no strings attached shag, providing no one gets hurt, I`d say go for it!

[FlaggLives]

Relationships are definitely worth it. I understand the desire to just go out there and get laid, but if there's no connection with the person after that it can leave you feeling kinda hollow. I've been down that road before. It's very hard to pursue a long-term relationship when you have acne and the mental insecurities that come along with it. It makes me feel shy around girls, and it makes me think that most women see me as a scarred up monster and I shouldn't burden them by telling them that I like them or anything like that.

But even though it's difficult, I think it's worth it to try. Everyone deserves happiness in life and the kind of happiness that you find when you're in love cannot be replicated...it's something everyone should get to experience at least once. So my advice is keep trying, never give up, because one day you'll find that there's a girl out there somewhere who accepts you for you, flaws included, and that kind of bond with a girl is worth striving for and fighting for.

[LeaveMeAlone]

Most people here have basically hit the nail on the head in regards to your question, but I haven't been on here for a while, so here's my two cents. Relationships have it's ups and downs, but in the end, they're totally worth it. When it comes to finding a girl who you really want to be with, nothing beats the feeling of being able to say that you're with that certain girl, so in regards to that, just give it a whirl. In all honestly, I'm tired as hell right now, so what I'm typing might sound weird, sorry about that. To wrap it up, it's worth a bash, when it comes to being in a relationship that is.

[armadillo]

Having tried both ways, I would say they are 99% worth it.

Here are some examples of when a relationship isn't worth it and you'd be better off with a f*ckbuddy:
- your partner and you have nothing to talk about, nothing in common. Honestly, some people say that you can have a relationship with someone and have nothing in common...well that's a load of nonsense. If the two of you can't find any activities other than sex to do together that you both enjoy - no point. Being with someone whom you don't share any interests with will set you on the track for a lifetime of misery and resentment towards your partner.
- your partner and you want very different things out of life - one of you wants to go travelling for the next 5 years, and the other settle down and have kids, well that's not going to work out and there's no point in persevering with that relationship.
- your partner is only with you for your money/status - once you lose that you lose them

It really depends on whether you can be bothered to really get to know a person. You won't find the love of your life if you are only willing to have a five minute conversation with them and judge them based on that. I think that's where a lot of people go wrong - they 'give up' too early. Honestly, there is no one, absolutely no one, whom you'll love a 100% with every single little habit they have. There are going to be certain features that you don't like in your partner and vice versa. People who say they can't find not even one thing wrong with their partner are just outright lying.

Rejection is no reason to give up though either- people in their 20s are still very immature and often act like teenagers.

[tritonxiv]

If you're honest with yourself, then yes, a relationship might be worth it.

But if you're like me and have unique (rare) standards, it may be less stressful to remain single and unattached.

Depends how easy you are to please and what your goals are in life.

Edited by tritonxiv, 25 November 2012 - 01:56 PM.

[Ilovemesomevanity]

50-60 rejections? have you tried like different approaches and stuff. i mean like, if all these 50-60 girls were prissy barbie girls and you just walked up to them and straight up asked them out then theres your real problem lol

[Lapis lazuli]

50-60 rejections? have you tried like different approaches and stuff. i mean like, if all these 50-60 girls were prissy barbie girls and you just walked up to them and straight up asked them out then theres your real problem lol

That's what I was thinking.

I hope you are well, Mario. Just thought I'd add that.

[o Havoc o]

I generally think too much is placed on how good relationships are or should be.

Too many watch a romantic film and think that their relationship will be hollywood perfect. IT JUST ISN'T lol

Relationships are hard work and being quite naturally lazy i stayed single for almost 4 years. I had a few friends with benefits in that time but nothing serious.

Relationships require a lot of hard work and comprimise. I have found in the past that if i get that butterfly feeling in my gut then im just infatuated and that isn't a good place to be. When i have found that i have liked someone but been in more control then the relationship tends to be more stable in the long run.

In many ways relationships is not a natural human act, marriage is not natural or committing oneself to one person for as long as we live isn't a natural thing to do. Like other animals we are driven my instinct to mate with females in general.

I'm not saying i am cheater or nor would i ever condone it but what i am saying a relationship is not needed for one to be happy. We wasn't born in a relationship nor do we need on to survive. A relationship should enhance ones life and not dominate it in any way shape or form.

Fact is, i still look at girls even though i am with someone. People might think that is wrong but i can't help if i see a good looking girl and think yeah she is cute. As long i don't touch then it's okay lol

[Siava]

I don't think it's wrong to look, Nicky. It's natural. Depending on arrangements amongst relationship partners, it may even be ok to touch. There's a whole spectrum of relationships to fit what people want and need in order to be fulfilled. I get what you're saying though...just wanted to throw that in there.

Mario, I've been rejected as well. Rejection definitely sucks, but ya get over it and jump back on that horse (if you're ready to) because the ride can be so much fun! I'm not in a committed relationship right now because I know I'm not ready for the level of openness, honesty, and committment it takes, but I am not opposed to being ready if a suitable man crosses my path. Like it has been said, relationships take work. Some days are effortless. Some days it takes every ounce of your being not to push your partner in front of a bus.

You asked why relationships are worthwhile. Man is that a loaded question. There is soooooooooooo much that can be said as to why, but I'll keep it as brief as possible.

Being mentally and sexually stimulated is rewarding. Affection rocks. It feels wonderful knowing someone adores you for who you are and is still willing to have sex with you. It's fun to learn the ins and outs of a partner. And just when you think you know everything, you're pleasantly surprised with new information. There's a certain comfort in doing boring things with someone you care about.

Like I said, there's a lot more and could be explained more eloquently, but I think you understand where I'm going with that. You'll know when you're ready if you ever get to that point. There's no rush. Do what makes you happy while you figure it out. Good luck!

[Spotthedifference]

I'm one of those rare people that when I'm in a relationship I *can't* look at other people, because I'm so absorbed in the person that I'm with that I don't care about anyone else like that. Not even in a lusty way.

And that's why I'm not keen to be in a relationship right now. My kind of devotion is ultimatley not always a good thing. It means you're never likely to get back in a relationship what you give, which feels unfufilling and breeds resentment. Plus I'm sick of getting emotionally attatched to people and giving them my all for them to merely take whatever they're after (not even talking about physical intimacy, more psychological needs) then leave. Sometimes without notice, and I've had to find out through other people.

I desperatley want to be able to be the kind of person to just fool around with people without getting emotionally invested, but I'm just not. Nor do I think I can be the devoted girlfriend any longer.

I've resigned myself to perving from afar and trying not to develop any genuine feelings for anyone. The people I've had crushes on I've tried to either shift into the friend zone in my feelings for them or the object of lust zone.

When I love somebody it is completley, purely and exclusivley. Nobody else exists (in that way) to me. Just them.

And I just can't keep giving that to people that don't even deserve my respect, let alone my love.

Anyway... in regards to acne and relationships. Don't let rejection get you down. People have all kinds of reasons to turn you down, 80% of which are due to themselves, not you. Just try to be happy in your own life and see what comes your way.

[o Havoc o]

I don't think it's wrong to look, Nicky. It's natural. Depending on arrangements amongst relationship partners, it may even be ok to touch. There's a whole spectrum of relationships to fit what people want and need in order to be fulfilled. I get what you're saying though...just wanted to throw that in there.

Mario, I've been rejected as well. Rejection definitely sucks, but ya get over it and jump back on that horse (if you're ready to) because the ride can be so much fun! I'm not in a committed relationship right now because I know I'm not ready for the level of openness, honesty, and committment it takes, but I am not opposed to being ready if a suitable man crosses my path. Like it has been said, relationships take work. Some days are effortless. Some days it takes every ounce of your being not to push your partner in front of a bus.

You asked why relationships are worthwhile. Man is that a loaded question. There is soooooooooooo much that can be said as to why, but I'll keep it as brief as possible.

Being mentally and sexually stimulated is rewarding. Affection rocks. It feels wonderful knowing someone adores you for who you are and is still willing to have sex with you. It's fun to learn the ins and outs of a partner. And just when you think you know everything, you're pleasantly surprised with new information. There's a certain comfort in doing boring things with someone you care about.

Like I said, there's a lot more and could be explained more eloquently, but I think you understand where I'm going with that. You'll know when you're ready if you ever get to that point. There's no rush. Do what makes you happy while you figure it out. Good luck!

The line highlighted made me laugh. Had one of those moments sunday with my girlfriend, and to be honest still a little pissed with her.

Been together almost a year and it has been largely effortless but this one thing that kicked (because of her insecurity) almost pushed me over the edge and i almost walked away.

I suppose one thing i learned with my many failed relationships in the past is to not be scared to walk away and i am fully prepared to do so if i am not happy.

Life is too short to try and change someone or to hope that they will change and be everything you want them to be.

I'm one of those rare people that when I'm in a relationship I *can't* look at other people, because I'm so absorbed in the person that I'm with that I don't care about anyone else like that. Not even in a lusty way.

And that's why I'm not keen to be in a relationship right now. My kind of devotion is ultimatley not always a good thing. It means you're never likely to get back in a relationship what you give, which feels unfufilling and breeds resentment. Plus I'm sick of getting emotionally attatched to people and giving them my all for them to merely take whatever they're after (not even talking about physical intimacy, more psychological needs) then leave. Sometimes without notice, and I've had to find out through other people.

I desperatley want to be able to be the kind of person to just fool around with people without getting emotionally invested, but I'm just not. Nor do I think I can be the devoted girlfriend any longer.

I've resigned myself to perving from afar and trying not to develop any genuine feelings for anyone. The people I've had crushes on I've tried to either shift into the friend zone in my feelings for them or the object of lust zone.

When I love somebody it is completley, purely and exclusivley. Nobody else exists (in that way) to me. Just them.

And I just can't keep giving that to people that don't even deserve my respect, let alone my love.

Anyway... in regards to acne and relationships. Don't let rejection get you down. People have all kinds of reasons to turn you down, 80% of which are due to themselves, not you. Just try to be happy in your own life and see what comes your way.

I use to be just like you. But after a 4 year relationship and me and my ex gf emotionally sucked each other dry i just stayed single for 4 years. Yeah i slept around (safely of course) it was fun and allowed me to discover who i was and i wanted from a girl. I just loved the freedom, answerable to no one.

I am now 28 and just this year decided to stop messing around and give a relationship a try.

There are times i think i really like it and there are times i think it's just not me. However i am not giving up. I am at least exploring a relationship now that i am older and wiser.

For me i have no issues being single i actually like it, i quite comfortable in my own company and have no issues if i have to stay in on my on a Saturday night.

Don't be scared to explore what you are about and to do that with other people. There are 7 billion people in this world so i think it is wise to explore before you choose to settle