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I Just Want To Live - Starting Accutane

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Truthfully I think collegue 2 is just bitter and insensitive, Karma is a b*tch so she better watch out. Some people feel better about themselves when they insult others. "Misery loves company" She probably felt better when she hurt your feelings. Anyways, I already see improvement from your recent pic. Try not to ask other people for their opinion about your skin process. Just continue taking pictures and the results will be in the pics. You have three more short months. Just try to focus on everything else but your skin. You'll be fine, hold your head up high, and don't let the insensitive comments upset you.

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Update:

Today they broke me. Here's a conversation from today with two of my work colleagues:

Me: Can you see my lips are chapped? (I was expecting to laugh on it)

Colleague 1 (male): Yes, I can tell...

Me: Can you see how bad is it? (still smiling)

Colleague 1: Do you want me to lie? (no..) Yes I can see how bad it is.

Me: And the skin? (I meant - can you see that it's peeling)

Colleague 1: Well you know you've got those like purple spots and stuff

Colleague 2 (female): Well its **** he always has spots everywhere and messy face, he never had/has clear face.

Me: Yeah I meant dryness, can you see my face are peeling? and the marks are not that bad...

Colleague 1: (completely ignore my response) Yes the pimples... That you take the drug for... DOH

Colleague 2: What do you mean they're not that bad?? (obviously mentioning how bad it is) #And that's after I thought I was improving... I really did sad.pngsad.pngsad.png)

Me: Yeah but it's not that bad...

Colleague 2: Well... eh (again mentioning its bad without saying it). If I were you I would have taken Accutane long time ago, now you're just a mess. #Sure, add some blame because that's what I need to hear right now

Colleague 1: You've got those spots/purple marks that the Accutane is for...

Me: Turning back to my computer realizing where this is going.

Getting out of the room after like 1 minute with tears in my eyes.

I never felt words penetrate so deep in my life, I mean I can just think about that moment now and I'll cry again. I could literally feel my heart being shredded.

Every sentence she said just scratched my heart more and more, I felt so miserable I actually had suicidal thoughts coming up again.

The sad thing is colleague 2 is an acne sufferer that took Accutane before and it has relapsed on her (like a few months ago - not that bad though) but I mean that motherfucking girl looks so fucking terrible (she does have scar-less face though - although she pops all her pimples), and that's the comments I'm getting from a girl like her... I couldn't look at myself in the mirror afterwards, I still can't. I am so angry and sad both at the same time, I can't go on living like this. CANT CANT CANT CANT CANT.

I don't have a single active pimple on the side that she was looking at... just some redness and like unevenness (its the left side of my face that I've sent pictures of in previous posts) and turns out it still looks that bad... What hope do I have??????????

I was so fucking sure I am getting better, without any active pimples and stuff I also thought the marks were fading!!! but I guess it was just an illusion. I don't know if Accutane is gonna help me any further...

I feel like its job is done, I don't have any hope left.

Side-Effects:

* Chapped Lips (BADLY)

* Dry skin patches (Horrible)

* Mental side-effects - I'm broken, devastated and wouldn't resist dying.

-- END OF DAY 97 --

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I don't know what your colleges are looking at. Your face looks awsome, your skin tone has evenout so much. I agree maby the one with acne may be a little jelous. I know its hard but you just have to tune them out. Stress can lead to more break outs. You look great!!!!

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Dude, you have made great improvement. In looking at your last pic compared to your first picture, its definitely working. Sometimes this drug is like taking two steps forward and one step back. I promise you though, once you are done your skin will get ever better and better. Don't worry about the red marks and scarring...honestly, I bet you anything it will all be gone a few months after finishing your course. Stay positive. You need to tell your coworkers to go straight to hell....or be patient, bite your tongue, and within three months from now when your skin is great wait for you moment to blast them good. They won't ever talk to you that way again, seriously, don't let people walk on you man. If you don't respect yourself, how can anyone else?

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SanLosAng, stay positive. You sound as if you've stopped breaking out and hun, thats half the battle right there. Once the acne stops coming, then your skin has the opportunity to heal itself. Redness will go away , marks will fade and in a few months, you can explore options for scarring.

There is still hope for you my friend and just for the record, there has been tons of improvement.

Ignore the haters! The more the hate, it means the better you're doing.


It's a rocky road but like everything else in life, there is always a beginning and an end. Here's to finding my end.

God is good to me..........more than I deserve.

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.


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Hey OP, i don't know you and you don't know me, but I just wanted to say this: your skin looks great, the pics you posted show terrific improvement!

And also, don't waste your time thinking about the people that laugh at you. Remember this: he who laughs last, laughs best.

Stay positive!

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Me again... don't know what to tell you guys... I am really not sure where this is going, Accutane has taken over my entire life: I'm obsessed, anxious and vulnerable.

Acne & Accutane have such terrible mental side-effects on me, I pray to god they will be gone when I'm done with it or I'm screwed badly. People actually tell me, What is wrong with you? Is everything alright? Are you on drugs? (I mean people that don't know I'm on Accutane, those who do know I'm on Accutane just don't realize it's because of it... They just think I've become depressed and mad, people don't like to hang out or be around me anymore).

I guess I am getting better but there is always another thing bothering me - I'm not "just" bothered though, there are so many assholes in this world that would remind you that you've got shitty skin... Some prick distant "friend" of mine asked me if it's certain that Accutane works for everybody - I mean I can see I'm improving why can't they see it? besides, fuck you asshole, I still look better than you on my worst day - but I didn't say it, I am not that kind of person, I just swallow their words, let my heart take another blow, and go home for another night of crying and wishing death.

I've still got red marks on my left cheek... I think I need to wait and see what will remain in the end of it. My right cheek has this giant red mark left from a cyst I had there (the only face cyst I've ever got) and although it feels flat it just won't cover up with new skin... It seems like my skin is making an effort to cover it up but just won't make it before breaking again... I think maybe I should not wash my face for a while to allow it to cover with skin, not sure though. That is one nasty mark there, seems like a fish hook, it makes me feel so low.

I really hope I'm gonna make it, but even if I do, I know it will be just barely, if there is any justice, let the next couple of months be enough and clear me up, if that won't work, I know that's game over for me.

Side-Effects:

* Chapped Lips (I've had worse)

* Dry skin patches (I've had worse)

* Mental side-effects - Some days I'm very happy, then I break out again, and although I promise myself beforehand I'll be ready for it, I wanna hide and die every single time.

-- END OF DAY 114 --

God, are you there? fine, you win.


Helton's Accutane Log:

: )


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Hey man, I started Accutane today (i have a journal up). Nice to meet you.

Looking through your journal, you've made some obvious progress bro. And you're treatment isn't over! Why are you losing hope? Stop worrying about what other people think about it. It's an awkward topic to talk to them about because they can sense your insecurity about it. Reading through some of your convo's, it really looks like they aren't saying it intentionally to hurt you. To me it seems like they're messing around with you and you're taking personally (because its a delicate topic for you, which is understandable). Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of your treatment :) Don't psyche yourself out.

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No offense but your friend is a jerk. A real friend will not judge you. In any event, don't give up hope. I too am still breaking out but my derm says she has seen improvement which is better than nothing. You may want to up your dosage on your next visit so speak to your derm about it.

Keep your head held high hun.


It's a rocky road but like everything else in life, there is always a beginning and an end. Here's to finding my end.

God is good to me..........more than I deserve.

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.


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Your friends don't sound very supportive! Your skin DOES NOT look bad and has improved SO MUCH. It's definitely not getting worse. Maybe you should try to hang out with some other people that are little nicer. And you should totally talk to girls! You are super cute and, as a female, I never notice guy's skin. As as matter of fact, before I had bad skin, I never noticed anyone's skin unless it was really amazing/really, really bad.

Cheer up! Go out and have fun, don't think about being on the 'tane.

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hahadude to be completely honest you have moderate acne at worst...i mean besides the kneck area your acne is not bad at all...i have seen A LOT worse on these forums....heck my acne is worse than that....I think one of the biggest issues each of us has is that we all think our acne is the worst acne....cheer up bro your a good lookin dude ..wishin u the best of luck and do not succumb to the psychological effects of the medication

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Dude, you were a basket case before starting this drug. Read your first post and you will see that the meds have nothing to do with your emotions. Your face is getting better. Stick with it, try and up your dosage. Also, get a hobby other than analyzing tge hell out of your face!!! Everyone goes through those stages but it seems like you have been trapped in your head for to long. Take a break from yourself. If you don't wanna go out, that's fine, but be productive doing something else like learning to play guitar or something. Tge downtown scene will still be waiting for you along with all tge pretty girls in a few months when you are all cleared up.

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Hi, SanLosAng

Your acne improved, so i don't know what the hell your friend is talking about. Seems like he enjoys or takes pleasure in making you feel like sh*t so that he can feel better about his damn self. Your not anybody's punching bag so f*ck your friend of 7 years and ignore the sh*t out of him. Your skin is improving via photos from your first post. Stay strong and if you let your "so called friends" treat you like a punching bag they will. You are your own boss and you have the power to choose who is worthy to be put in your circle. A true friend motivates you and encourages you to "be a better you", not stomp you down when you're feeling low. So F*ck your friend of seven years and let him know that is is NOT okay to talk to you that way. I seen skin that is much worse then yours, so focus on yourself and nobody else, your journey will soon end sucessfully. Remember you are doing this for yourself so f*ck the negative people who takes pleasure in making others feel low.

1 month 40mg

2 month 60mg =(40mg in morning, and 20mg dinner time)

Vitamins during lunch = omega 3+ d3, zinc, coenzymeQ10, folic acid, vitamin c, red yeast rice pill

Maintain an High Fiber Diet

I'm a 123 lb female and on my 2nd month on accutane 60mg. I'm on a high fiber diet and drink a gallon of water a day. I have not experienced dry lips/skin yet and my acne is improving.

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Those people are not your friends! (and your colleagues are not your friends either!) That you hang out with people for long periods of time does not make them automatically your friends.

Only the acne sufferers like us understand what you are going through. Anyway, you should try to build up a social life with other people. You should also try to learn to put boundaries on how much you let other people affect you and make those boundaries known to the world.

Now for the accutane part: it is good that you put up a log like this. I am planning to take it as well.

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Update:

So I removed all previous posts since Google found it.

So basically I'm now updating for the ones who follow, if there are any...

maybe I'm just updating for myself :)

Side-Effects:

* Chapped Lips (Not the worse I've had)

* Dry skin - Not too dry, its actually quite alright

* Weakness, Tiredness - Definitely the worse I've had so far

* Red-Marks - A lot of those

* Still breaking out (Not as before)

* Mental side effects - I mean those are still here, I can't really explain them, its no longer really direct sadness about acne its just some crazy unhealthy thoughts popping into your mind somehow.

I have another friend who just started Accutane and I could clearly tell how thin it made his skin and how his entire face look so much thinner and kinda unhealthy (like every single mark is visible), so I'm guessing I'm having the same effect and I really hope it will be gone when I'm done.

Pictures (taken right after hot shower):

post-185589-0-63072300-1366731568_thumb.

post-185589-0-65342600-1366731545_thumb.

post-185589-0-03412000-1366731599_thumb.

I've got 3 more weeks on Accutane after which the doctor prescribed me with retinoid cream (0.05%) which I should apply before I'm going to bed.

Current Dose: 60mg/day

Taken so far: 8280mg (= 128mg/kg)

Questions for you:

* Should I start using the retinoid cream right after I'm finishing Accutane (like the next day)?

* Should I use the cream all around my face or just the problematic areas (marks&pimples)?

-- END OF DAY 180 --

-- END OF MONTH 6 --

Peace.

post-185589-0-65342600-1366731545_thumb.

post-185589-0-63072300-1366731568_thumb.

post-185589-0-03412000-1366731599_thumb.

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Hey San! Looking good. I have 5 more days and i was prescribed retina micro but since i have some inflamed acne, i may just go ahead and start the regimen - idk. My derm says to wait a month till tane is out of your system but i think if you're not too dry, you probably can start right away, gradually of course

Good Luck and keep us posted


It's a rocky road but like everything else in life, there is always a beginning and an end. Here's to finding my end.

God is good to me..........more than I deserve.

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.


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Update:

Well I'm a bit late, so consider this update as if it was written 3 days ago.

Today is May 15, 2013, day 202 of my Accutane treatment, and guess what? I AM DONE.

Pictures:

post-185589-0-40557000-1368895974_thumb.

post-185589-0-02509600-1368895997_thumb.

post-185589-0-94775600-1368896018_thumb.

Side-Effects:

* Chapped Lips (Not the worse I've had)

* Dry skin - Not too dry, its actually quite alright

* Weakness, Tiredness - Definitely the worse I've had so far

* Red-Marks - A lot of those, the wait for them to fade finally begins.

* No longer breaking out

Total Dose: 9600mg (= 150mg/kg)

How I took my dose:

month 1 - 20mg

month 2-3.5 - 30mg

month 3.5-7 - 60mg

I'll update regarding my red marks like every month post Accutane.

I hope I'm done with acne for good.

Thank you my friends and followers.

I SURVIVED.

-- END OF DAY 202 --

-- END OF MONTH 7 --

-- END OF COURSE --

post-185589-0-40557000-1368895974_thumb.

post-185589-0-02509600-1368895997_thumb.

post-185589-0-94775600-1368896018_thumb.

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Update:

Well I'm a bit late, so consider this update as if it was written 3 days ago.

Today is May 15, 2013, day 202 of my Accutane treatment, and guess what? I AM DONE.

Pictures:

attachicon.gifIMG_20130516_132903.jpg

attachicon.gifIMG_20130516_133006.jpg

attachicon.gifIMG_20130516_133027.jpg

Side-Effects:

* Chapped Lips (Not the worse I've had)

* Dry skin - Not too dry, its actually quite alright

* Weakness, Tiredness - Definitely the worse I've had so far

* Red-Marks - A lot of those, the wait for them to fade finally begins.

* No longer breaking out

Total Dose: 9600mg (= 150mg/kg)

How I took my dose:

month 1 - 20mg

month 2-3.5 - 30mg

month 3.5-7 - 60mg

I'll update regarding my red marks like every month post Accutane.

I hope I'm done with acne for good.

Thank you my friends and followers.

I SURVIVED.

-- END OF DAY 202 --

-- END OF MONTH 7 --

-- END OF COURSE --


Helton's Accutane Log:

: )


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Update:

Well I'm a bit late, so consider this update as if it was written 3 days ago.

Today is May 15, 2013, day 202 of my Accutane treatment, and guess what? I AM DONE.

Pictures:

attachicon.gifIMG_20130516_132903.jpg

attachicon.gifIMG_20130516_133006.jpg

attachicon.gifIMG_20130516_133027.jpg

Side-Effects:

* Chapped Lips (Not the worse I've had)

* Dry skin - Not too dry, its actually quite alright

* Weakness, Tiredness - Definitely the worse I've had so far

* Red-Marks - A lot of those, the wait for them to fade finally begins.

* No longer breaking out

Total Dose: 9600mg (= 150mg/kg)

How I took my dose:

month 1 - 20mg

month 2-3.5 - 30mg

month 3.5-7 - 60mg

I'll update regarding my red marks like every month post Accutane.

I hope I'm done with acne for good.

Thank you my friends and followers.

I SURVIVED.

-- END OF DAY 202 --

-- END OF MONTH 7 --

-- END OF COURSE --

What happened to you? sad.png

You look so thin compare to before now.

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Update:

Two weeks post-accutane, I thought I'll just share some pics...

Pictures:

post-185589-0-60952100-1369935017_thumb.

post-185589-0-11938300-1369935055_thumb.

post-185589-0-02968600-1369935095_thumb.

post-185589-0-60952100-1369935017_thumb.

post-185589-0-11938300-1369935055_thumb.

post-185589-0-02968600-1369935095_thumb.

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Hey I have followed your log, since you finished your accutane, have you had any breakouts? or concerns?

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