5 replies to this topic

[troubledskin123]

Though this may be my first post on acne.org I've been on here numerous times to make myself feel better on the days where I can't bear to leave the house or look in the mirror...recently I've hit a new plateau of minor depression and realized how much acne has actually killed my confidence. I know there are tons of stories on the site so I don't blame you if you stop reading, but for those of you who want to know the acne story of a 21 year old girl you've never met before...here it is:
I've dealt with acne for years upon years, back to before I can actually remember. I think it started in middle school but didn't get noticeably worse until freshman year of highschool (awesome timing right). Mainly on the chin area. I remember finally going to the dermatologist and long story short it eventually got much better. Basically, that has been the story of my life for the past almost 8 years. Bad acne, fine, bad acne, fine, etc. The best thing that worked for me once I got into college was actually acupuncture. Only downfalls are that patience is key and it isn't cheap in any way shape or form...especially when you were going as often as I was. But eventually it cleared up enough where I could deal on my own and go about my days feeling better about myself. The years after that are kind of a blurr, a mix of being extremely self-conscious and gaining confidence again over and over. Now we get to 2012 and I'm in my house on a Wednesday morning refusing (for the second day in a row) to get my ass out of the house because I am just so insecure and vulnerable it's ridiculous. Granted, this year has thrown an extreme amount of curveballs at me so I've been off and on stressed for most of the year...and I mean really stressed. From breaking up with my first love to having a bestfriend pass away to getting literally stranded away from home due to even more problems. And of course dealing with acne through all of this...I think the first love thing is really what kills me the most...I'm okay most of the time but there are times where I don't miss the guy, but I miss knowing there is always that someone who will tell me they love me no matter how horrible my face looks. Or when I'm feeling down having that love (they say love makes you blind) could keep my mind off my crazy acne issues. Now im single, and more insecure than ever...
Recently I went back to the dermatologist because my acne had gotten pretty bad. She gave me epiduo and a pill as well. I've been on it for about three weeks and wearing makeup and using a new facewash all at the same time...my face has gotten worse and I dont know what the cause is anymore. Or I guess I never have...Yesterday I had my first breakdown, and in the middle of my practice (I'm a dancer and also a teacher). Being a teacher makes it all that much worse too...standing in front of a class having to remain composed and ignore the fact that I feel like my face is disgusting is one of the hardest things to do week after week. I just couldn't do it yesterday so someone took over for me. First time ever. I've made appointments for acupuncture again and going to call a facial specialist today to do that too. Thankfully I have parents who do everything they can for the their kids and when I woke up after crying myself to sleep there was a list of numbers for well-known acne sprecialists on the counter.
My issues at the moment seem to be getting my face out of the house. I was good for a good week thanks to makeup, but my face has gotten worse and now the makeup doesn't even do crap. Worst parts: I don't know if the makeup is causing my breakout or what, and I can't bring myself to leave the house with nothing to cover up my face. This coming from a girl who usually hates wearing makeup and would rather go about her days 100% makeup free than be covered in it all day...I miss those days...Currently, I'm all set to go the the gym and as soon as I looked into the mirror sat back down and now I'm on acne.org...I tried pounding my face with whatever I have in the house to cover it but it's like it all just makes it worse. WTH AM I DOING. Yesterday I did the same exact thing (minus the acne.org). Literally stayed in all day until my practice, and didn't even make it through that. And now day 2 of self-hostage and I feel so stupid and weak minded...at this point I feel like there is only so much a person can say to themselves to make themselves feel better...I just don't know what to do anymore..

Sorry for the sob story...but I guess I've never said that much to anyone about my internal issues with acne...for those who made it through that whole story...thanks for just listening..

[Luminareo]

++points for massive first post.
I really don't have much to say in the way of suggestions... but perhaps that isn't what you are looking for. People don't seem to realize how much acne and image issues can ruin a person. It spills out and affects every facet of your life.... Life is hard enough as it is without these perceived social issues that shouldn't even matter. I wish people didn't care so much what my face looked like. I wish I didn't care, either. I feel that's an unfortunate position.

But I'm glad your parents care about your well being. Regardless of the effectiveness of such care, it really helps on the emotional side. Good luck.

[troubledskin123]

++points for massive first post.
I really don't have much to say in the way of suggestions... but perhaps that isn't what you are looking for. People don't seem to realize how much acne and image issues can ruin a person. It spills out and affects every facet of your life.... Life is hard enough as it is without these perceived social issues that shouldn't even matter. I wish people didn't care so much what my face looked like. I wish I didn't care, either. I feel that's an unfortunate position.

But I'm glad your parents care about your well being. Regardless of the effectiveness of such care, it really helps on the emotional side. Good luck.

I hope I'm replying back to this the right way...haha. But just wanted to say thanks for the reply. Means a lot to be able to talk to people about all these things that can just build up inside you. And yeah, I wish I didn't care about what my face looked like so much either...maybe one day we'll all get there. (: I'm still at home but slowly making my way out of this damn house. Hope things for you are going well. Thanks again! I'm sure we'll all get through this one way or another.

[snsdgirl14]

I was prescribed Epiduo, Monodox (a pill) and a new face wash too. For the first month, my skin seemed to get worse or just not improving at all. After about a month and a half...I noticed improvements. And it just kept on improving, to the point where all I had was PIH and no pimples. And now the PIH has all faded away.

You WILL get through this I promise. I know how much it sucks. I know how hard it is. I would dream of waking up to clear skin. I would take a shower, washing my face, and secretly hope that by some miracle I would step out and my face would be all clear. But life doesn't work that way, for anyone. It takes time to improve things. Unfortunately, skin heals slowly. But in the mean time, you do what you have to do. All I can tell you is to be strong and keep on living. See a therapist. Read some self help books on mindfulness ("observing" the negative thoughts instead of believing them and letting them rule your life). Put all your passion and energy into something you love instead of staring at your skin in the mirror. Your days will pass by faster and with more happiness if you keep yourself busy with things you love. And then one day you'll notice your skin is getting better. And it'll just keep on improving.

You've made an important first step by seeing the derm. Just keep on using your regimen and have hope it'll work for you - it did for me. It took time though! It was about six months until my skin was all clear. Now I have a few new spots but I'm trying not to let that get me down because I'm happy my PIH and acne is finally gone. I also guarantee you no one is looking and judging your face as much as you do. My friends never treated me differently - in fact, they kept inviting me to stuff as usual, it was just me who was turning them down cause of my skin. Eventually I got tired of living that way and letting my skin dictate my life, so I just did the best I could with makeup and went out there. But I know how it feels to feel so low. All I can tell you is you will emerge from this as a stronger person.

[Murph89]

All I can say is I feel your pain. My suggestion would be one of 2 things.

1 go back to a derm or someone that you trust and is recommended and get on a skin care regimen. Stick with it for 8 weeks. If no improvement, go back.
2 try going natural products on your face. I would recommend African black soap for a cleanser. It's excellent.

Just know what ever you do, your not alone. I'm almost 23 and back to where I was when I was 19 and 20. You'll find being on this site and talking to others who go through THE EXACT SAME SHIT YOU DO is extremely helpful and makes you feel much better. It does for me.

[troubledskin123]

I was prescribed Epiduo, Monodox (a pill) and a new face wash too. For the first month, my skin seemed to get worse or just not improving at all. After about a month and a half...I noticed improvements. And it just kept on improving, to the point where all I had was PIH and no pimples. And now the PIH has all faded away.

You WILL get through this I promise. I know how much it sucks. I know how hard it is. I would dream of waking up to clear skin. I would take a shower, washing my face, and secretly hope that by some miracle I would step out and my face would be all clear. But life doesn't work that way, for anyone. It takes time to improve things. Unfortunately, skin heals slowly. But in the mean time, you do what you have to do. All I can tell you is to be strong and keep on living. See a therapist. Read some self help books on mindfulness ("observing" the negative thoughts instead of believing them and letting them rule your life). Put all your passion and energy into something you love instead of staring at your skin in the mirror. Your days will pass by faster and with more happiness if you keep yourself busy with things you love. And then one day you'll notice your skin is getting better. And it'll just keep on improving.

You've made an important first step by seeing the derm. Just keep on using your regimen and have hope it'll work for you - it did for me. It took time though! It was about six months until my skin was all clear. Now I have a few new spots but I'm trying not to let that get me down because I'm happy my PIH and acne is finally gone. I also guarantee you no one is looking and judging your face as much as you do. My friends never treated me differently - in fact, they kept inviting me to stuff as usual, it was just me who was turning them down cause of my skin. Eventually I got tired of living that way and letting my skin dictate my life, so I just did the best I could with makeup and went out there. But I know how it feels to feel so low. All I can tell you is you will emerge from this as a stronger person.

Thank you so much for the words of advice. It has got to be one of the greatest reliefs to just hear from somebody who knows the pain acne causes...reminds me that I'm not alone in this almost impossible battle. You gave me some hope and patience back (: It feels good. Thank you! And I'm glad to hear your skin eventually cleared up. I guess I just need to refocus myself, physically and mentally. Easier said than done but thanks to you I know it can happen. You're awesome

All I can say is I feel your pain. My suggestion would be one of 2 things.

1 go back to a derm or someone that you trust and is recommended and get on a skin care regimen. Stick with it for 8 weeks. If no improvement, go back.
2 try going natural products on your face. I would recommend African black soap for a cleanser. It's excellent.

Just know what ever you do, your not alone. I'm almost 23 and back to where I was when I was 19 and 20. You'll find being on this site and talking to others who go through THE EXACT SAME SHIT YOU DO is extremely helpful and makes you feel much better. It does for me.

If it doesn't improve I'll be back at the derm soon enough...until then patience and some type of optimism are key I guess. Thank you so much for the suggestions. I'm glad to hear from you and come back to reality where I know I'm not the only one. Yeah it's all so shitty...but better to go through shit together than alone right? haha. Thanks again