10 replies to this topic

[StephenMcl]

Hey people, yet another rant from me, well 3 weeks in and my skin is worse than ever on the skinoren and erythomycin, well as you all know how having acne makes us feel constantly depressed and worthless, i go to work, i come home, wanting to go into my room and relax, being by myself, not having to put on an act or worry about people seeing me, well today i came in from work, went into my room, my annoying little sister keeps opening my door when the whole family know it is the one thing i absolutely hate, i like my door being shut, i like my privacy, she kept doing it, so i shouted at her repeatedly to stop it, without avail, then i get blamed for shouting at her, then my dad comes in and starts making me feel even worse, saying to my sister and i quote 'just because he got bullied at high school and has no friends', trying to i dunno make me feel even worse about myself than i already constantly do, god i hate my life, i wish i could go to sleep and not wake up, or trade places with someone who wants to live, i just can't do it anymore, constantly bad skin, no friends, shit job, i feel like shit all the time and utterly despise my life, id like to go to sleep and not wake up purely to see, if god did exist so i could ask him the question, why me, why not these other idiotic people who think they are smart and the best, FUCK MY LIFE, i can't stand this anymore, i swear to god, if im not enjoying myself by the time im 21 im just gonna admit myself into a mental hospital, it wouldn't be too different from what im doing just now, sitting in my room day after day, life wasting away, spots thriving, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS, FUCK IT ALL.

[Murph89]

Your not alone. I'm almost 23 and I'm worse then where I was mentally at 19-20.

[Vanessa2002]

.

Edited by Vanessa2002, 30 July 2012 - 03:18 AM.

[Ghostunit]

It sucks. I'm scared to breakout like 2-3 months ago which was horrible. I gotta stop looking at the mirror because I have lots of tiny bumps and I know they will inflamed. Usually, they grow big. Maybe if I don't stress about it and stop looking, it won't happen. =\ grrr. I don't think it will happen. I hope this bumps are there because of purge or w.e. since I started applying essential oil just a while ago.

Edited by Ghostunit, 17 July 2012 - 02:43 PM.

[PaulH85]

Be proactive about it. Bottom line is that nobody is going to change things for you. Believe me, I know how hard it can be and it's not all that long ago I was at absolute rock bottom. I was at my lowest point twelve months ago and I'll quite openly admit that I had certain thoughts and I couldn't really see a way out. I had to choose between giving in to that and fixing it. I don't quite know what stopped me, but I decided to stick around to fix it.

I got help with my acne and was lucky to stumble across the things which work best for me. Granted, it's not possible to fix that right away because it's all about trial and error, but you can do your bit by keeping on and staying focus on paying attention to what works and what doesn't; working out your triggers and whether you can see any patterns which may point to root causes. It takes time but it's worth it. It took me thirteen years but I doubt I'd trade the learning curve because that's what's helping me maintain relatively clear and acne-free skin now.

On an emotional level, again, different things work for different people. I basically went to my doctor and said, "I don't like how I'm feeling and I don't like where things are heading because nothing is right, I need some help", and I got it. Counseling, group CBT sessions, talking, learning and working out how to fix how I felt. Still working on it and there are still plenty of things I don't like about myself and I guess I still feel lost in some respects, but I did enough to at least get to a place where I was capable of getting out there again to find new work. The main thing is to set the ball rolling. Don't deal with everything all at once, just take things piece by piece and work on them one at a time.

As far as work goes, if you don't like it, change it. The way I see it, unless we have a career and something long-term, a job is a job and there are others out there. Whether it be to use your key skills in a similar position or to go down a different path entirely, don't be scared to make a change. Even if it's a change into a regular job, if the place is a happy one and the people are good to get along with, that helps a lot. I'm finding that and I feel comfortable in my new work. Honestly, even though it's just a regular without anything special in terms of prospects, I like it, and that's what matters in the here and now.

Maybe I sound like I'm preaching, and perhaps I am to a degree, but there's only so much talking we can do before we have to act. Don't get me wrong, I could talk it out for ages and I've had my fair share of moments here, but it does come down to taking action and taking steps to change things. Even if you can change things right away with your skin, work on the other stuff and help yourself feel better in that regard. A change of mood and a new perspective brought along by something new in life can work wonders.

[Syn1122]

Hey people, yet another rant from me, well 3 weeks in and my skin is worse than ever on the skinoren and erythomycin, well as you all know how having acne makes us feel constantly depressed and worthless, i go to work, i come home, wanting to go into my room and relax, being by myself, not having to put on an act or worry about people seeing me, well today i came in from work, went into my room, my annoying little sister keeps opening my door when the whole family know it is the one thing i absolutely hate, i like my door being shut, i like my privacy, she kept doing it, so i shouted at her repeatedly to stop it, without avail, then i get blamed for shouting at her, then my dad comes in and starts making me feel even worse, saying to my sister and i quote 'just because he got bullied at high school and has no friends', trying to i dunno make me feel even worse about myself than i already constantly do, god i hate my life, i wish i could go to sleep and not wake up, or trade places with someone who wants to live, i just can't do it anymore, constantly bad skin, no friends, shit job, i feel like shit all the time and utterly despise my life, id like to go to sleep and not wake up purely to see, if god did exist so i could ask him the question, why me, why not these other idiotic people who think they are smart and the best, FUCK MY LIFE, i can't stand this anymore, i swear to god, if im not enjoying myself by the time im 21 im just gonna admit myself into a mental hospital, it wouldn't be too different from what im doing just now, sitting in my room day after day, life wasting away, spots thriving, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS, FUCK IT ALL.

youre not alone in this we're here if you need to chat about anything please dont give up ive had moments when ive broken down and hated my skin so much i took a sand paper to a scar which made it worst heh i hid in my room from my acne when it was worst from my friends and family, i would be almost nocturnal and only come out at night to get food in the kitchen, after some time i totally lost sense of time when i drifted away in mmo world only recently i had to stop and get a job did i realise how much time i had lost, im 30 now if you asked me a few months ago how old i was i would of been struggling to remember, mentally at age of 17 since when i got my worst acne,Is all i remember months turn into years what felt like weeks for me had been years, then when you come to realise how much time has past its like a smack in the face with a shovel ,to remember how old i am now, what im trying to say is youre young dont FUCKING GIVE UP.

[DaftFrost]

Hey people, yet another rant from me, well 3 weeks in and my skin is worse than ever on the skinoren and erythomycin, well as you all know how having acne makes us feel constantly depressed and worthless, i go to work, i come home, wanting to go into my room and relax, being by myself, not having to put on an act or worry about people seeing me, well today i came in from work, went into my room, my annoying little sister keeps opening my door when the whole family know it is the one thing i absolutely hate, i like my door being shut, i like my privacy, she kept doing it, so i shouted at her repeatedly to stop it, without avail, then i get blamed for shouting at her, then my dad comes in and starts making me feel even worse, saying to my sister and i quote 'just because he got bullied at high school and has no friends', trying to i dunno make me feel even worse about myself than i already constantly do, god i hate my life, i wish i could go to sleep and not wake up, or trade places with someone who wants to live, i just can't do it anymore, constantly bad skin, no friends, shit job, i feel like shit all the time and utterly despise my life, id like to go to sleep and not wake up purely to see, if god did exist so i could ask him the question, why me, why not these other idiotic people who think they are smart and the best, FUCK MY LIFE, i can't stand this anymore, i swear to god, if im not enjoying myself by the time im 21 im just gonna admit myself into a mental hospital, it wouldn't be too different from what im doing just now, sitting in my room day after day, life wasting away, spots thriving, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS, FUCK IT ALL.

If I were to answer your question about god in a spiritual truthful way I'd say this.
You see, life is actually a game, and your personality is just temporary in this world so you can expand your consciousness with more experience. We exist in this world so far from the source, and so individual and thus we forget that we are all one, and this is why world is full of negativeness but it's only so you could experience what it truly feels like to suffer or to feel all these.
It's like a video game, but the goal is to win and struggle from all these and know the truth. Your true self is blinded by ego, ego is what keeps us distracted and keeps life illusionary and it's the source of all unhappiness. It is truly hard to let go of ego, but enlightenment goes here, it's when you let go of that. Imagine yourself loving yourself so much, not giving any fuck about the society or expectations, you would surely live in a happy life but because we are so attached to this world it's hard to do that.

We fear death, we think we only live once but infact our higher-self is immortal and exists in a astral plane, the place where we go during our sleep. God didn't choose you to suffer, YOU DID before you were born. Your true self did so you could learn and experience it all. More the experience, faster your soul ages. Because our higher self already knows unconditional love and have already experienced all that, we also need to experience what is the opposite of unconditional love and whether if we could still grasp that even when we are seperated. Some souls tend to choose harsh lifestyle so it could learn more from it and experience what it has never experienced and more the experience, faster it ages, more closer it becomes to the source and more closer it is for reaching your ultimate goal.

Souls who choose a happy, rich wealthy lifestyle doesn't learn much in that lifetime therefore they tend to choose a very harsh lifestyle after that so it can catchup and quickly learn what it has not.

Our planet is currently dominated by Young Souls. Which are the most hidden from the source, or fragmented.
Most of our politicians are young souls, thus they make very poor choices and world is run by them.
Mature or Old souls are usually the people who are rebellious against authority, the "loners", or the ones who perceive world little bit differently than others and more compassionate, and feels empathy towards others. Where as infant or baby souls treats people like objects rather than like them.

There are also infant and baby souls, which their main purpose is to struggle and know about survival. They are new on this plane, have not reincarnated much thus they usually choose to experience life on poor and more close to nature places like Africa, pakistan, iraq.
We even choose our parents before birth too! Most people who doesn't have a biological dad, or had a harsh childhood are usually mature or old souls, it is so that in order to realize the positive the must truly know how negative feels like. That kicks in more awareness.

There's 7 planes of existence and we currently exist in the most dense form. Earth has a consciousness too, so does stars and galaxies and we are infinite fragments of the source consciousness which it's only purpose is to ask "What am I?" So to answer that question the source had fragmented itself and experience and discover what it is.
Note that time only exists on this plane, meaning in other planes there is no time. Only present exists, no past or future, they use a different method of measurement of time at other planes.

If you are wondering how the Mayan prophecies correlates to this, they said that a spiritual event will take place where we'll be ascending to the higher plane because every 26000 years there is a cycle where earth ascends. We won't actually die that is just an ignorant poor understanding.

It's an abstract cycle. Quantum Physics is just beginning to realize it all.

Buddha was incarnated from the highest plane, Jesus from also a higher plane and they came here to help us on this journey but nowadays religion is polluted and corrupt, it makes matters worse, it leads us to an even wrong direction.

Edited by DaftFrost, 21 July 2012 - 05:21 PM.

[Syn1122]

Hey people, yet another rant from me, well 3 weeks in and my skin is worse than ever on the skinoren and erythomycin, well as you all know how having acne makes us feel constantly depressed and worthless, i go to work, i come home, wanting to go into my room and relax, being by myself, not having to put on an act or worry about people seeing me, well today i came in from work, went into my room, my annoying little sister keeps opening my door when the whole family know it is the one thing i absolutely hate, i like my door being shut, i like my privacy, she kept doing it, so i shouted at her repeatedly to stop it, without avail, then i get blamed for shouting at her, then my dad comes in and starts making me feel even worse, saying to my sister and i quote 'just because he got bullied at high school and has no friends', trying to i dunno make me feel even worse about myself than i already constantly do, god i hate my life, i wish i could go to sleep and not wake up, or trade places with someone who wants to live, i just can't do it anymore, constantly bad skin, no friends, shit job, i feel like shit all the time and utterly despise my life, id like to go to sleep and not wake up purely to see, if god did exist so i could ask him the question, why me, why not these other idiotic people who think they are smart and the best, FUCK MY LIFE, i can't stand this anymore, i swear to god, if im not enjoying myself by the time im 21 im just gonna admit myself into a mental hospital, it wouldn't be too different from what im doing just now, sitting in my room day after day, life wasting away, spots thriving, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS, FUCK IT ALL.

If I were to answer your question about god in a spiritual truthful way I'd say this.
You see, life is actually a game, and your personality is just temporary in this world so you can expand your consciousness with more experience. We exist in this world so far from the source, and so individual and thus we forget that we are all one, and this is why world is full of negativeness but it's only so you could experience what it truly feels like to suffer or to feel all these.
It's like a video game, but the goal is to win and struggle from all these and know the truth. Your true self is blinded by ego, ego is what keeps us distracted and keeps life illusionary and it's the source of all unhappiness. It is truly hard to let go of ego, but enlightenment goes here, it's when you let go of that. Imagine yourself loving yourself so much, not giving any fuck about the society or expectations, you would surely live in a happy life but because we are so attached to this world it's hard to do that.

We fear death, we think we only live once but infact our higher-self is immortal and exists in a astral plane, the place where we go during our sleep. God didn't choose you to suffer, YOU DID before you were born. Your true self did so you could learn and experience it all. More the experience, faster your soul ages. Because our higher self already knows unconditional love and have already experienced all that, we also need to experience what is the opposite of unconditional love and whether if we could still grasp that even when we are seperated. Some souls tend to choose harsh lifestyle so it could learn more from it and experience what it has never experienced and more the experience, faster it ages, more closer it becomes to the source and more closer it is for reaching your ultimate goal.

Souls who choose a happy, rich wealthy lifestyle doesn't learn much in that lifetime therefore they tend to choose a very harsh lifestyle after that so it can catchup and quickly learn what it has not.

Our planet is currently dominated by Young Souls. Which are the most hidden from the source, or fragmented.
Most of our politicians are young souls, thus they make very poor choices and world is run by them.
Mature or Old souls are usually the people who are rebellious against authority, the "loners", or the ones who perceive world little bit differently than others and more compassionate, and feels empathy towards others. Where as infant or baby souls treats people like objects rather than like them.

There are also infant and baby souls, which their main purpose is to struggle and know about survival. They are new on this plane, have not reincarnated much thus they usually choose to experience life on poor and more close to nature places like Africa, pakistan, iraq.
We even choose our parents before birth too! Most people who doesn't have a biological dad, or had a harsh childhood are usually mature or old souls, it is so that in order to realize the positive the must truly know how negative feels like. That kicks in more awareness.

There's 7 planes of existence and we currently exist in the most dense form. Earth has a consciousness too, so does stars and galaxies and we are infinite fragments of the source consciousness which it's only purpose is to ask "What am I?" So to answer that question the source had fragmented itself and experience and discover what it is.
Note that time only exists on this plane, meaning in other planes there is no time. Only present exists, no past or future, they use a different method of measurement of time at other planes.

If you are wondering how the Mayan prophecies correlates to this, they said that a spiritual event will take place where we'll be ascending to the higher plane because every 26000 years there is a cycle where earth ascends. We won't actually die that is just an ignorant poor understanding.

It's an abstract cycle. Quantum Physics is just beginning to realize it all.

Buddha was incarnated from the highest plane, Jesus from also a higher plane and they came here to help us on this journey but nowadays religion is polluted and corrupt, it makes matters worse, it leads us to an even wrong direction.

very deep

[Binga]

I have been researching a bit of astrology lately. Since I know my birth time I figured that it is in my birth/natal chart that I will have skin problems, depression etc. So yeah there is something called destiny and if you are young then there are things like gemstone therapy to help get rid of problems/obstacles.

[LastDitchEffort]

Be proactive about it. Bottom line is that nobody is going to change things for you. Believe me, I know how hard it can be and it's not all that long ago I was at absolute rock bottom. I was at my lowest point twelve months ago and I'll quite openly admit that I had certain thoughts and I couldn't really see a way out. I had to choose between giving in to that and fixing it. I don't quite know what stopped me, but I decided to stick around to fix it.

I got help with my acne and was lucky to stumble across the things which work best for me. Granted, it's not possible to fix that right away because it's all about trial and error, but you can do your bit by keeping on and staying focus on paying attention to what works and what doesn't; working out your triggers and whether you can see any patterns which may point to root causes. It takes time but it's worth it. It took me thirteen years but I doubt I'd trade the learning curve because that's what's helping me maintain relatively clear and acne-free skin now.

On an emotional level, again, different things work for different people. I basically went to my doctor and said, "I don't like how I'm feeling and I don't like where things are heading because nothing is right, I need some help", and I got it. Counseling, group CBT sessions, talking, learning and working out how to fix how I felt. Still working on it and there are still plenty of things I don't like about myself and I guess I still feel lost in some respects, but I did enough to at least get to a place where I was capable of getting out there again to find new work. The main thing is to set the ball rolling. Don't deal with everything all at once, just take things piece by piece and work on them one at a time.

As far as work goes, if you don't like it, change it. The way I see it, unless we have a career and something long-term, a job is a job and there are others out there. Whether it be to use your key skills in a similar position or to go down a different path entirely, don't be scared to make a change. Even if it's a change into a regular job, if the place is a happy one and the people are good to get along with, that helps a lot. I'm finding that and I feel comfortable in my new work. Honestly, even though it's just a regular without anything special in terms of prospects, I like it, and that's what matters in the here and now.

Maybe I sound like I'm preaching, and perhaps I am to a degree, but there's only so much talking we can do before we have to act. Don't get me wrong, I could talk it out for ages and I've had my fair share of moments here, but it does come down to taking action and taking steps to change things. Even if you can change things right away with your skin, work on the other stuff and help yourself feel better in that regard. A change of mood and a new perspective brought along by something new in life can work wonders.

You always seem to find the right words, great post Paul!
PS. I think I just got you up to legendary rank

[PaulH85]

I think I just got you up to legendary rank

I didn't know we had such a thing, but apparently so. I've never been described as "legendary" before. I'll try not to let me ego get too big...