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Would You Join A Dating Website For People With Acne Scars/acne?


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#41 Geeking

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Posted 21 June 2012 - 05:31 PM

I think so; but it wouldn't make me feel less insecure about my face.
I think dating someone with acne as well would still make me not want to do things or be around people, y'know? It wouldn't make a difference, aside from having someone to complain to.

#42 allrighty

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 12:21 AM

Im sure most of those dating sites have memebers who have acne and scarring... I would join on though for sure.

#43 ensi

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Posted 12 July 2012 - 06:45 PM

Im sure most of those dating sites have memebers who have acne and scarring... I would join on though for sure.


Yes, I bet they do have people with acne/scarring, but they probably don't show it in the pictures. And that leaves them with the awkward moment when they ...face the other people in real life. And disclosing it earlier in the conversation online would probably also be quite troublesome.

Edited by ensi, 12 July 2012 - 06:47 PM.


#44 tuffluck

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Posted 12 July 2012 - 06:55 PM

prob not. I like the idea of moving all the people with acne to an island. That would be better. Just imagine.. the president of the island would be the person with the most acne.

then we could all live butt naked, smoke some great weed, and never ever have to wash your face again. yeeea!! pyaaaaah!

I

#45 soysauce

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Posted 13 July 2012 - 10:25 PM

prob not. I like the idea of moving all the people with acne to an island. That would be better. Just imagine.. the president of the island would be the person with the most acne.

then we could all live butt naked, smoke some great weed, and never ever have to wash your face again. yeeea!! pyaaaaah!

I


I love this idea haha We'll blow some mad trees xD

#46 QuietJamie14

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Posted 14 July 2012 - 03:33 AM

Not sure about this idea. I'm on a regular dating site at the moment and I feel really guilty because my skin problems don't really show up in my photos - I kind of feel like a fraud. When the girls meet me in real life they must think, 'Yuck!'

I'd probably give a dating site for acne sufferers a go. I still think there'd be hierarchy, though - all the guys/girls with mild acne getting all the action and those with severe acne or scarring still feeling insecure, like they should be grateful for what they can get.

#47 PaulH85

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Posted 14 July 2012 - 05:52 AM

Not sure about this idea. I'm on a regular dating site at the moment and I feel really guilty because my skin problems don't really show up in my photos - I kind of feel like a fraud. When the girls meet me in real life they must think, 'Yuck!'

I'd probably give a dating site for acne sufferers a go. I still think there'd be hierarchy, though - all the guys/girls with mild acne getting all the action and those with severe acne or scarring still feeling insecure, like they should be grateful for what they can get.


It's not an issue for me now, but I can relate to having felt guilty about the photos I posted in the past. At the time of taking them, they would have been accurate as I never edit them or anything like that, but the pictures would have been taken on a day when my skin was good and that wouldn't have represented what my skin was like generally. It kind of felt like I was being fake or something, so I see where you're coming from. I was caught out by that once before and the one time I did meet up with a girl I'd talked to online, I was bang in the middle of the worse breakout of cystic acne I'd ever had. I probably had only two or three instances in thirteen years when my acne was cystic so I guess that was just really bad timing. Posted Image

That brings me to the next point because the girl in question was visibly repulsed by what she saw and she definitely didn't hold back when telling me what she thought. So I'd also be tempted to agree about that "hierarchy", although I guess it depends on the other person. No matter how horrible that girl was and how bad it made me feel - it was years ago and I still haven't found the confidence to try again with dating and don't really know where to start, even though my skin is clear now - her reaction says more about her than it does about me.
This is where I think things would differ if it was conducted among people with similar experiences, because I'd be tempted to think that anyone who has struggled with their skin to the point where it knocked their confidence would be more understanding and be nowhere near as judgmental or shallow. The severity of the acne is relative in some respects because the key thing is how it makes a person feel, and it's the feelings they have which shape their perspective of things and of others, in terms of looking for what actually matters.

I joined a dating site a while ago and I can't say it's been of much use to me. It's free so it's not like I'm losing anything, but nobody has ever written me back and nobody has ever contacted me first. Some messages I send even get deleted without actually been read. Even if it's just a line or two, it's annoying when you've taken time to read someones profile and perhaps comment on a shared interest, just for them to delete it without even opening it. I can only assume that they look at the thumbnail picture beside the message and think, 'Ewww! No thanks!' I can't see what other reason there could be, given that they haven't looked at the contents. I suppose it just gets me wondering how productive it is to use dating sites, period, and if it's worth bothering, regardless of whether you have acne or clear skin. Posted Image

#48 QuietJamie14

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 08:31 AM


Not sure about this idea. I'm on a regular dating site at the moment and I feel really guilty because my skin problems don't really show up in my photos - I kind of feel like a fraud. When the girls meet me in real life they must think, 'Yuck!'

I'd probably give a dating site for acne sufferers a go. I still think there'd be hierarchy, though - all the guys/girls with mild acne getting all the action and those with severe acne or scarring still feeling insecure, like they should be grateful for what they can get.


It's not an issue for me now, but I can relate to having felt guilty about the photos I posted in the past. At the time of taking them, they would have been accurate as I never edit them or anything like that, but the pictures would have been taken on a day when my skin was good and that wouldn't have represented what my skin was like generally. It kind of felt like I was being fake or something, so I see where you're coming from. I was caught out by that once before and the one time I did meet up with a girl I'd talked to online, I was bang in the middle of the worse breakout of cystic acne I'd ever had. I probably had only two or three instances in thirteen years when my acne was cystic so I guess that was just really bad timing. Posted Image

That brings me to the next point because the girl in question was visibly repulsed by what she saw and she definitely didn't hold back when telling me what she thought. So I'd also be tempted to agree about that "hierarchy", although I guess it depends on the other person. No matter how horrible that girl was and how bad it made me feel - it was years ago and I still haven't found the confidence to try again with dating and don't really know where to start, even though my skin is clear now - her reaction says more about her than it does about me.
This is where I think things would differ if it was conducted among people with similar experiences, because I'd be tempted to think that anyone who has struggled with their skin to the point where it knocked their confidence would be more understanding and be nowhere near as judgmental or shallow. The severity of the acne is relative in some respects because the key thing is how it makes a person feel, and it's the feelings they have which shape their perspective of things and of others, in terms of looking for what actually matters.

I joined a dating site a while ago and I can't say it's been of much use to me. It's free so it's not like I'm losing anything, but nobody has ever written me back and nobody has ever contacted me first. Some messages I send even get deleted without actually been read. Even if it's just a line or two, it's annoying when you've taken time to read someones profile and perhaps comment on a shared interest, just for them to delete it without even opening it. I can only assume that they look at the thumbnail picture beside the message and think, 'Ewww! No thanks!' I can't see what other reason there could be, given that they haven't looked at the contents. I suppose it just gets me wondering how productive it is to use dating sites, period, and if it's worth bothering, regardless of whether you have acne or clear skin. Posted Image


From what I hear, dating sites are tough on all men who aren't rich and/or a supermodel - acne or no acne. To be fair, the women on those sites get bombarded with messages, many of which are from creepy men or men who are far too old for them. Men are also always expected to make the approach. It seems the more advanced the technology, the more primitively people behave! I think online dating is okay on the side, but face-to-face may still be better. It is such a painfully slow and rocky process, however. I think the stress of dating is also making me break out. When I was engrossed in my studies and not worrying about meeting women, my skin looked calmer and clearer... or perhaps I paid it less attention.

I'm 28 and sick of being alone, so I've reached the stage where I just have to tell myself I don't care anymore. I'll take the rejection; I'll take 100 rejections if it means meeting the right woman - better that than never knowing what love feels like. I'll just have to swallow my pride.

Sorry to hear about your experience. It's a cliche - but she really wasn't worth your time. I can only think that people like that have never had any sort of rejection or heartbreak or disappointment (or maybe too much, which is why they lash out?).

#49 PaulH85

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 09:45 AM

Well, I hope it doesn't get to you too much, Jamie, and that you find someone eventually. Maybe these things happen when we least expect it and when we're not actually looking for them. Posted Image

Perhaps you're right about the online dating thing; maybe girls do get a lot of hassle or stupid messages from certain types of guys. No harm in continuing with it I guess, as long as I keep things in perspective, because it's not a total reflection on me if they don't get back. Ironically, those who delete the messages without reading them are always the ones who say they're looking for a nice guy who knows how to treat people well and won't mess them around. Makes me wonder if they even know what that is because I'd like to think I fit that description, yet don't even get a look-in. Like you mentioned, maybe that says more about the dating game and the way technology makes people respond than it does about physical appearance, etc..

I think part of those feelings of being alone and that frustration of feeling left behind come from what society expects you to have done by a certain point, and it does seem that many people are becoming more and more experienced in these things at a younger age. I don't suppose that makes us feel any better when we're into our late twenties, but, I do think that it would ultimately lead to a better quality of relationship, for the right reasons, as and when it happens. Posted Image

#50 Lapis lazuli

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 01:23 PM

...

Edited by Lapis lazuli, 17 July 2012 - 06:44 AM.


#51 collegeboy84

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 03:23 PM

I have mixed feelings about dating sites. For one, there are about 30 men to every 1 woman. A woman probably receives 100s of messages a day (mostly from the creepy/stalker type) so the chances that a woman responds back to you is slim to none. This no response could be devastating to a man's ego. You really need to have something going for you in order to get a response out of these woman.

I think you are better off joining a club at the local community college to meet people. The chess club , track-meet , meditation, yoga or even a dance club are all offered at my school where people of all ages and creeds are welcome.Which brings me to my next point... the Acne club! LOL. How weird would that be?

Edited by collegeboy84, 15 July 2012 - 03:24 PM.


#52 allrighty

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Posted 17 July 2012 - 09:37 PM

If I was really desperate id maybe join.

#53 ensi

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Posted 21 April 2013 - 03:11 AM

bump



#54 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 21 April 2013 - 04:45 AM

I think it is a great idea. Girls with clear skin don't want me anyway, so I would definitely register on a website like that.



#55 TheGoodSon

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 08:04 PM

I read an article about online dating a few days ago and it gave examples of sites that were more specific to certain hobbies, situations, etc..
There were sites aimed at people who had an interest in sci-fi, or sites aimed at people who were looking for others in a particular profession, for instance.

There was one listed which was for people who have HIV. The thinking behind that one was that it removes any kind of awkwardness or stigma there might be about that, and you know right away the people you chat with or the people you meet are experiencing the same thing and therefore understand what it's all about and what it's like to have that.

Obviously, we could never liken something as comparatively trivial as acne directly to HIV, but I suppose the principles with regards to the sites would be the same, in terms of being in touch with people who can relate. I think that might work, for example, for someone who maybe has acne on their back or somewhere else where it isn't instantly visible. I've lost count of the number of threads I've seen in this section where someone has met somebody they're interested in but they're fearful of taking things to the next level because it would mean exposing their body and exposing their acne. Maybe being aware that a person has acne on some part of their body right from the outset would lessen that anxiety for the sufferer.

For all we know, there could be countless people who might like to sign up to dating sites but don't because the pictures they see of others all seem to be people with clear skin. It certainly put me off joining them in the past and I always had a problem when it came to posting pictures of myself. Perhaps, on a more specific site, I might be more inclined to post them without worrying about it. It's not as if people would talk at length in their profile about their acne and nothing else because there's more to everyone than that. I bet it's the same on the site I mentioned for people with HIV; they probably don't talk about that in their profiles or in messages right away, and perhaps it remains unspoken, but there would still be a degree of comfort there knowing that the other person understands and you don't have to conceal whatever your situation may be.

I think the majority would use such a site for the right reasons. After all, it would probably qualify as some kind of fetish if you actively sought to only date people who had some particular issue or condition or whatever. That's the opposite end of the scale whereby, rather than not taking someone on their merits, you'd be picking them out because they had acne. Can't see many people doing that. For me personally, the irony would be that if I were to end up in contact with someone because of their experiences with acne - just as some people have on these boards - if I then got into a relationship with that person and we stayed together, I'd soon get to the point where their skin wouldn't even matter to me anyway.

There's that argument for it not mattering and that if someone judged you on your skin alone, or anything else for that matter, without getting to know, then it wouldn't be worth knowing them. That's true, but I'm not sure that's what we're talking about. If we're talking more about the idea of these sites as a concept and whether there's a place for such a think, then yes, I think there is. I think it would have it's practicalities for those who might not use the "conventional" sites.

All in my humble opinion, of course. smile.png

 

Omg i luv this post. +1



#56 Sum1killme

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 08:17 PM

Too much overthinking on this topic. Just put it up if you wanna join, then join, if you think it's immoral then fuck off.

#57 dejaclairevoyant

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Posted 28 April 2013 - 12:05 PM

Oi... This subject irks me. There are so many reasons why I think an acne dating site is a terrible idea.

 

1. It keeps people in the "I have acne" mentality when if anything, an acne sufferer should be attempting to visualize and manifest themselves as a person with healing, clearing skin. Joining a site where you declare acne as a part of your identity will not help with this at all. I realize that this site is somewhat that way, but the difference is that this site is focused on healing acne and people can stick around here even after having clear skin simply because skincare/makeup/diet whatever interests them.

 

2. It's suggestive of a modern day leper colony... as if we aren't suitable to date anyone who doesn't have this terrible skin disease so we have to be quarantined off. As if we aren't worthy of being loved by "normal" people.

 

3. Why would I purposefully want to seek out people with acne? That doesn't make sense to me. I'm not saying I think acne is ugly or a dealbreaker, not at all. But to purposefully seek out another person who is suffering from an unpleasant physical condition that causes pain and insecurity? Why would I want to attract another suffering, depressed person? (Acne sufferers are not necessarily depressed, but I would question those who felt the need to join an acne-only dating site) Ever hear the phrase, "misery loves company?" That isn't something I want.

 

4. Some of you guys may be too young/innocent to realize this, but a site like this will attract some major creepy energies. I've worked in the adult industry and there are people out there who are really turned on by things like ugliness, skin issues, etc. I know that doesn't seem true but it is. There are men who specifically pray on women with low self esteem and a site like this would be a hunting ground, putting emotionally fragile and desperate-to-be-loved people in danger (this is true on any dating site to some degree). There are even sexual fetishes out there specifically devoted to things like "bagging" a girl (basically, screwing an ugly girl by putting a bag over her head) and I would fear that a site like this would attract that exact type of creep.

 

I guess maybe some people feel differently. But I personally find this idea silly, insulting and outright dangerous. I realize all dating sites present some degree of danger and it's up to everyone to protect themselves, but this just strikes me as particularly dark.



#58 Lapis lazuli

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Posted 28 April 2013 - 12:47 PM

2. It's suggestive of a modern day leper colony... as if we aren't suitable to date anyone who doesn't have this terrible skin disease so we have to be quarantined off. As if we aren't worthy of being loved by "normal" people.

 

Exactly.



#59 Pianina

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Posted 28 April 2013 - 01:38 PM

I agree with those of you who think it's a bad idea! 

Personally, as a member of such site I would feel like a "last resort" to the guys there. They couldn't get "normal" girls to like them, so they got on this site to find me as their second option. "You're so pretty" they'll say, "but not too pretty, because you've got acne; it means you have lower self-esteem and will go out with me" they'll think to themselves. Thanks, but no thanks.  

 

Let's say that such site really exist - two young people suffering from severe acne finds each other, falls in love, fights the battles together and supports each other with everything they can. Then one of them find a successful treatment and clears up totally . That's all, acne gone, all the depression and suffering melts away. The guy/girl is finally happy and confident, as he/she always wanted. And what happens to the miserable one, who still has severe acne and can't get in under control? The misery will beat him/her down. They will no longer understand each other. Will the clear one finally go out to the world and find an acne-free partner? If he was searched for someone to match their condition before (while still having acne) why wouldn't he now? He doesn't seem to like the challenge to face someone different than him (that we know from the fact that he didn't try to overcome his insecurities and look for a partner without categorizing people according to their skin conditions). Who's gonna be left broken-hearted (and probably permanently emotionally scarred)? The one who still fights the severe acne!    
What a great idea for a site... 

 



#60 Frank*L

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Posted 28 April 2013 - 01:55 PM

I probably would. My scars are the first and foremost thing on my mind at all times so to be able to not worry about being judged by that would be nice.


Edited by Frank*L, 28 April 2013 - 01:56 PM.