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Would You Join A Dating Website For People With Acne Scars/acne?


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#1 ensi

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 03:13 PM

I think there should be one. I know that there are some super confident people even with acne/scars who manage pretty fine in this respect but many of us do have problems with dating/confidence because of our condition. I would definitely feel more comfortable with someone who has the same issues with skin as I do. And don't tell me it's pathetic. I don't think so. People with psoriasis for example do have a dating website.

#2 gingergirl22

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 03:44 PM

I think there should be one too!

#3 ensi

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 04:03 PM

maybe some new Mark Zuckerberg will eventually start something like this and call it Acnefacebook and get filthy rich...

#4 MJRI94

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 04:36 PM

Its definitely a good idea, it would be a lot easier to relate to people and the whole judgement surrounding acne/scars would not be such a crushing factor. I still wouldn't use it just yet though since I don't think I'm ready for dating anyway Posted Image

#5 Lapis lazuli

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 04:37 PM

No because I don't believe in that. Going to a site like that with the idea in your mind that you hope to meet someone to have a relationship with... It's just not natural. It doesn't work that way, in my opinion. It only results in some forced relationship which is doomed to end badly.

Plus any woman who rejects me because of my imperfect skin is probably a case of *drum roll* good riddance. *cymbal crash*

There are also websites where you can only sign up if you have had higher education or if you are extremely attractive or have a lot of money. It's terrible. I understand a website for people with imperfect skin is something else but it's still excluding people and that's just never good.

#6 PaulH85

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 04:38 PM

I read an article about online dating a few days ago and it gave examples of sites that were more specific to certain hobbies, situations, etc..
There were sites aimed at people who had an interest in sci-fi, or sites aimed at people who were looking for others in a particular profession, for instance.

There was one listed which was for people who have HIV. The thinking behind that one was that it removes any kind of awkwardness or stigma there might be about that, and you know right away the people you chat with or the people you meet are experiencing the same thing and therefore understand what it's all about and what it's like to have that.

Obviously, we could never liken something as comparatively trivial as acne directly to HIV, but I suppose the principles with regards to the sites would be the same, in terms of being in touch with people who can relate. I think that might work, for example, for someone who maybe has acne on their back or somewhere else where it isn't instantly visible. I've lost count of the number of threads I've seen in this section where someone has met somebody they're interested in but they're fearful of taking things to the next level because it would mean exposing their body and exposing their acne. Maybe being aware that a person has acne on some part of their body right from the outset would lessen that anxiety for the sufferer.

For all we know, there could be countless people who might like to sign up to dating sites but don't because the pictures they see of others all seem to be people with clear skin. It certainly put me off joining them in the past and I always had a problem when it came to posting pictures of myself. Perhaps, on a more specific site, I might be more inclined to post them without worrying about it. It's not as if people would talk at length in their profile about their acne and nothing else because there's more to everyone than that. I bet it's the same on the site I mentioned for people with HIV; they probably don't talk about that in their profiles or in messages right away, and perhaps it remains unspoken, but there would still be a degree of comfort there knowing that the other person understands and you don't have to conceal whatever your situation may be.

I think the majority would use such a site for the right reasons. After all, it would probably qualify as some kind of fetish if you actively sought to only date people who had some particular issue or condition or whatever. That's the opposite end of the scale whereby, rather than not taking someone on their merits, you'd be picking them out because they had acne. Can't see many people doing that. For me personally, the irony would be that if I were to end up in contact with someone because of their experiences with acne - just as some people have on these boards - if I then got into a relationship with that person and we stayed together, I'd soon get to the point where their skin wouldn't even matter to me anyway.

There's that argument for it not mattering and that if someone judged you on your skin alone, or anything else for that matter, without getting to know, then it wouldn't be worth knowing them. That's true, but I'm not sure that's what we're talking about. If we're talking more about the idea of these sites as a concept and whether there's a place for such a think, then yes, I think there is. I think it would have it's practicalities for those who might not use the "conventional" sites.

All in my humble opinion, of course. Posted Image

#7 Lapis lazuli

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 05:06 PM

I think it's a stupid idea. I just think that people need to toughen and smarten up and perhaps in some cases grow up. If you like someone, just go to them. Acne or no acne. Scars or no scars.This dating site idea just comes down to people fearing being rejected by people who don't have the type of imperfections that they have so they go "Well I'll just not look at anyone who has perfect skin then. I'm not interested in anyone with perfect skin anymore and I'm going to make things easy for myself and go for someone with the same imperfections. Because hey, I do need to have some kind of love life?! ". It just seems to me that a site like that attracts people who in the end want a "relationship" for the sake of one rather than people who fall in love with a person.

There's probably someone out there with flawless skin who, if you were to meet them, will fall in love with you regardless of your physical flaws. And you guys would be making it impossible to meet that person by excluding everyone who has flawless skin? Think about it man.

Plus what do you care about someone who rejects you because of acne? Again, think about it man. What kind of person would that be? What does that say about someone? It's just a case of good riddance.

Just go out there, be yourself and the good people will still want to be with you regardless of your flaws. Vain, mean, selfish folk will reject you but why would you care?

And no I'm not a "troll". I am not ill-intentioned so there's no need to get offended. This is just my opinion. And last I checked people have a right to voice their opinion. You think I'd take the time to write a post like this just to irritate people? Think about it man. So let's not get defensive or anything. In a mature conversation people should be allowed to speak their minds. And I feel I have done so in a respectful manner.

Edited by Lapis lazuli, 30 May 2012 - 05:07 PM.


#8 unbreakable1

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 06:31 PM

No because I don't believe in that. Going to a site like that with the idea in your mind that you hope to meet someone to have a relationship with... It's just not natural. It doesn't work that way, in my opinion. It only results in some forced relationship which is doomed to end badly.

Plus any woman who rejects me because of my imperfect skin is probably a case of *drum roll* good riddance. *cymbal crash*

There are also websites where you can only sign up if you have had higher education or if you are extremely attractive or have a lot of money. It's terrible. I understand a website for people with imperfect skin is something else but it's still excluding people and that's just never good.


On the contrary, I believe it would be a way to INCLUDE acne/scarring suffers, rather than exclude clear skinned people, as they already have places to go.

#9 Lapis lazuli

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 07:05 PM

On the contrary, I believe it would be a way to INCLUDE acne/scarring suffers, rather than exclude clear skinned people, as they already have places to go.


The clear skinned people have places to go but the acne sufferers can go to those same places. Posted Image Dividing people in groups, saying "Here are the acne people, they can go over here and date each other and then here are the clear skinned people, seperate from them."... I mean it's just sending out a wrong message. I really don't think that just because people have insecurities they should forget about dating someone who doesn't have those same insecurities and in doing so exclude all these people (who don't have those same insecurities). That's sort of what I meant.

Someone said it's interesting because it's "easier to relate" to someone when you're going through the same thing... Just think about that for a while; someone who isn't understanding because you've got issues...would you call that good relationship material to begin with? Posted Image

Edited by Lapis lazuli, 30 May 2012 - 07:07 PM.


#10 conjones

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Posted 31 May 2012 - 07:49 PM

I feel like that's a fantastic idea. I can also understand what Lapis said about it being wrong to have exclusivity, but it could be a service that is more 'friendly' or accepting toward people with skin problems. I'd say Kickstarter that shit.

#11 Lilly75

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Posted 31 May 2012 - 08:24 PM

Yes and no... I can see both sides to it - what everyone has mentioned here.
The "relatability" factor of such a site would be nice but I'd worry that if such a site were created people would get this idea that people with acne should only date people with acne... don't know if that would actually happen though... it hopefully wouldn't.

#12 ensi

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 05:07 AM

Thank you guys for the answers. Lapis lazuli, you have the right to voice your opinion, of course. You're against it. That's totally fine. So you wouldn't join such a website. But even if there are people who wouldn't, I'm sure that there are those who would. So there should be a website like this just to have a choice. If you don't want to, don't use it. There are plenty of services that aren't directed at people with acne/scars, so you can always use those. The existance of such a website wouldn't exclude people with acne/scars or leave them with the choice of partners with acne/scars only. You can always use other services or meet somebody in real life. But it would be nice to have a different option. Personally, I wouldn't use the dating sites that are available now as I would never post my "real" picture and posting some more favourable one would feel like a total lie. I know that people don't always tell the truth in such services but "hiding" acne scars is a huge deal.
Anyway, I think if there are more of you guys who want such a website I think you should voice your opinion. If we spread the word, maybe the need will be noticed by someone with actual skills and possibilities to do it.

#13 WinnieTheBlue

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 05:09 AM

I think it's a good idea. I wouldn't make it big though, that would really send a wrong message. A small private site for friendship and dating.

#14 ensi

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 06:24 AM

I really think that it is highly unlikely that the existence of such a website would "send a wrong message" or exclude people with acne/scars. There are plenty of specific dating websites that are created for people to have a choice or to make their lives easier, I believe. There is a website for example for farmers only, for people who want to find a partner who loves cats or for those who look for somebody that looks similar to them (really) and I don't think it sends a general message that for example people should only date people who look like them. If you want to, you can but you don't have to.

Edited by ensi, 22 July 2012 - 07:47 PM.


#15 WinnieTheBlue

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 07:05 AM

You are right.

#16 Lapis lazuli

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 01:50 PM

You know what would be cool? A website where only mature people can sign up. So you'd only have mature people on there and last I checked what stems naturally from maturity is sophistication, dignity and a lack of concern with superficialities. So not only could you go on that site having acne/scars whilst not having to worry about being rejected or mistreated but you could be missing a limb, have weight issues, be in a wheelchair, be bald, have bad teeth, be short, have a huge birth mark on your cheek, and you'd still be able to sign up without having to worry. Why make a seperate website for all these different things when all it takes is maturity?

You'd get questions at the beginning during the registering where people are asked things like "Have you ever rejected someone just because they are taller than you?" and if the answer is "Yes" you'd get this message: "You have not met the standards of this website. Goodbye.".

Ensi, if you'd never post a picture on a regular dating site then I'd say that's an indication of how you'd expect people to react. Namely that they won't have an interest in getting to know someone who has scarring. Or that they'll go "Why would I settle for someone with scarring when I can also pick this other girl who doesn't?". And I think it's true that there are indeed plenty of those people around.

Just recently I heard these "men" talk about women and dating. They rated women with this scale which went from one to ten. One of them said "When I was young I never approached a four. I always went for the tens. Always. Because sure you might get rejected by the first couple of tens but eventually you're bound to come across a ten who won't! So why bother with the fours?!" and the other guy at a certain point went "The ONLY reason you bother to approach a six is because you want to get closer to her friend who is a ten." . And this was not the kind of thing where you have men acting "tough" around each other to impress each other but this was actually how they (had) treated women!

Anyway, if you were to put a pic up on a site the people who'd still approach you I assume would be good relationship material in the sense that they are sophisticated enough not to reject someone because of a few scars. And the people who do reject you, why would you feel bad about them having done so, I ask? Posted Image So what do you have to lose, really?

Back to the acne dating idea: another thing of course is the possibility that someone dumps you as soon as they get clear/improve their scars. Ever think about that? That someone is "settling for less" just because they can't get a "ten"? And that as soon they are free of that "restriction" they dump you for the first "better deal" that comes along? Posted Image

Relationships... They can be beautiful and I think there is still plenty of good relationship material out there. But when I say plenty I don't mean it in the literal sense. There's too much bad relationship material out there that is possessive, superficial, deceitful... The list goes on but I don't want this post to become depressing nor do I want to come across as being cynical.

There is a website for example for people who want to find a partner who loves cats


Just think about that for a while; someone who doesn't want to be with you because you are not a cat person... Do you think that's good relationship material to begin with? lol I'm joking. Posted Image

Edited by Lapis lazuli, 01 June 2012 - 02:12 PM.


#17 tink627

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 01:59 PM

I read an article about online dating a few days ago and it gave examples of sites that were more specific to certain hobbies, situations, etc..
There were sites aimed at people who had an interest in sci-fi, or sites aimed at people who were looking for others in a particular profession, for instance.

There was one listed which was for people who have HIV. The thinking behind that one was that it removes any kind of awkwardness or stigma there might be about that, and you know right away the people you chat with or the people you meet are experiencing the same thing and therefore understand what it's all about and what it's like to have that.

Obviously, we could never liken something as comparatively trivial as acne directly to HIV, but I suppose the principles with regards to the sites would be the same, in terms of being in touch with people who can relate. I think that might work, for example, for someone who maybe has acne on their back or somewhere else where it isn't instantly visible. I've lost count of the number of threads I've seen in this section where someone has met somebody they're interested in but they're fearful of taking things to the next level because it would mean exposing their body and exposing their acne. Maybe being aware that a person has acne on some part of their body right from the outset would lessen that anxiety for the sufferer.

For all we know, there could be countless people who might like to sign up to dating sites but don't because the pictures they see of others all seem to be people with clear skin. It certainly put me off joining them in the past and I always had a problem when it came to posting pictures of myself. Perhaps, on a more specific site, I might be more inclined to post them without worrying about it. It's not as if people would talk at length in their profile about their acne and nothing else because there's more to everyone than that. I bet it's the same on the site I mentioned for people with HIV; they probably don't talk about that in their profiles or in messages right away, and perhaps it remains unspoken, but there would still be a degree of comfort there knowing that the other person understands and you don't have to conceal whatever your situation may be.

I think the majority would use such a site for the right reasons. After all, it would probably qualify as some kind of fetish if you actively sought to only date people who had some particular issue or condition or whatever. That's the opposite end of the scale whereby, rather than not taking someone on their merits, you'd be picking them out because they had acne. Can't see many people doing that. For me personally, the irony would be that if I were to end up in contact with someone because of their experiences with acne - just as some people have on these boards - if I then got into a relationship with that person and we stayed together, I'd soon get to the point where their skin wouldn't even matter to me anyway.

There's that argument for it not mattering and that if someone judged you on your skin alone, or anything else for that matter, without getting to know, then it wouldn't be worth knowing them. That's true, but I'm not sure that's what we're talking about. If we're talking more about the idea of these sites as a concept and whether there's a place for such a think, then yes, I think there is. I think it would have it's practicalities for those who might not use the "conventional" sites.

All in my humble opinion, of course. Posted Image


Just wanted to say I absolutely love the way you word things in your posts! Posted Image

#18 Syn1122

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Posted 04 June 2012 - 03:57 PM

that would be awesome even just to make friends to talk and spend time with

#19 TheGoodSon

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 04:50 AM

Just wanted to say I absolutely love the way you word things in your posts! Posted Image


Crap! time to kill off the moderators lol. jk Posted Image

In further news, YES! I think this is an excellent idea and in fact I was thinking about doing something like this myself. I ws going to bring up the same topic but I saw this post. There should at least be a forum section for this or something. I'm an extremely outgoing person but when it comes to relationships i still feel it's alot easier to relate to people with similar issues. I think it's safe to say I as well as at least half the people here are probably probably single and looking for that special someone. I play alot of sports, party, vacation, random meet ups, and go to class where I make tons of friends, but it's just difficult to get THAT close to someone when everyone's so perfect. Posted Image

I say try it and if it doesnt work out then just remove the section. Do a poll or something to guage interest if you have to. Monitor the section carefully to see how it goes, you never know till ya try.

Edited by TheGoodSon, 05 June 2012 - 05:04 AM.


#20 ensi

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 02:57 PM


Just wanted to say I absolutely love the way you word things in your posts! Posted Image


Crap! time to kill off the moderators lol. jk Posted Image

In further news, YES! I think this is an excellent idea and in fact I was thinking about doing something like this myself. I ws going to bring up the same topic but I saw this post. There should at least be a forum section for this or something. I'm an extremely outgoing person but when it comes to relationships i still feel it's alot easier to relate to people with similar issues. I think it's safe to say I as well as at least half the people here are probably probably single and looking for that special someone. I play alot of sports, party, vacation, random meet ups, and go to class where I make tons of friends, but it's just difficult to get THAT close to someone when everyone's so perfect. Posted Image

I say try it and if it doesnt work out then just remove the section. Do a poll or something to guage interest if you have to. Monitor the section carefully to see how it goes, you never know till ya try.


I completely agree. It's an awesome idea to do a poll. Somebody do it, please.

Edited by ensi, 06 June 2012 - 02:58 PM.





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