The Effects Acne Has Had On My Life
Posted 13 May 2012 - 09:36 PM
I just wanted to share the role acne has had in my life so far. I'm a 19 year old male and have been battling it for a few years now. I guess when I first started getting it I didn't realize how much worse it would get if you pick, and haven't been able to stop since then. Every single day, I wake up and try not to pick, but I slip up eventually. At the start of every week, I say "This is the week I change my life and stop picking". Hasn't happened yet. How utterly incompetent do I have to be to keep doing something with such obvious negative effects and ZERO positive ones? I have such an all-or-nothing mentality with everything that if I pick one pimple it will be all downhill from there and will DESTROY any remaining tempting pimples. Well, this incredibly stupid strategy has left me completely disfigured and my self confidence has been shattered. There is acne/severe scars on my face, chest, and back. Hell, there are even small white bumps on my package. I guess I picked the short straw from puberty, but I am just incredibly disappointed in my way of dealing with it (picking).
I am but a shadow of my former self socially, as having a damaged face makes me want to avoid attention and have turned down numerous social occasions because of this. This had made me very lonely, because I love to be around people, making them laugh and having a fun time! Also, I have no intentions of even attempting to court any lovely ladies due to this condition. I can't imagine anybody being attracted to me when I look at the mirror. I've never even kissed a girl. I have so much to be thankful for in my life, and it stinks because I can't truly enjoy it when all I can think about is acne. I run track in college and I dread hot weather, when everybody takes off their shirt to run and I awkwardly leave mine on because I can't bare the thought of others viewing my body (another reason I can't go after girls). I know I can get so much more out of my life if I was comfortable in my own skin. I have half an hour until a new week and I WILL try to beat this. Because I know that challenges can be overcome. I also hope that if I fail, I will not let that change my personality and how I act. Because although this has ruined my body, I will not let it sabotage WHO I am. Good luck to those in similar situations. LET'S GOOOOOO!!!!
Posted 13 May 2012 - 09:57 PM
My acne itself isnt that bad, in fact most people wonder what the hell I make such a big deal about, but its the mental aspect which torments me. WHY do I have to deal with this?I dont think I am a bad person I dont have bad habits I eat healthy and I try to be positive.
Just this week I cancelled a beach trip because I have such anxiety and panic attacks that I cant go through with it. I cant be around people up close without make up and prepping, I am ashamed of the real me. Sad isnt it? But you know how I feel.
It truly sucks, acne is a from the devil.
I hope you find healing, whether or not you believe God Bless.
Posted 13 May 2012 - 10:37 PM
Posted 14 May 2012 - 02:28 AM
low self esteem
always feeling ashamed, angry at myself, guilty
paranoid (always thinking people look at me coz of my acne)
depression (actually Clinically depressed, was diagnosed with Bipolar II a month ago )
isolation (i always avoid occasions even simple family/relative dinners, stopped communicating with my friends)
and a whole lot more........
although now, i feel like i have started to look at life and people in a different manner......... i am more sensitive to others feelings, i am more patient and understanding
i still have my good and bad days coz my mood goes up and down and up and down down down instantly but i try hard to keep fighting and going on........ i don't ever ever want to have suicidal ideations ever again... NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!
I WILL FIGHT ACNE>>>>> LET US ALL FIGHT ACNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 14 May 2012 - 02:44 AM
Posted 14 May 2012 - 07:07 AM
hey Amber, I read of your success and Im glad for you!
I know exactly how you feel, because I used to constantly fight depression and anxiety because of my skin! I'd avoid overnight trips because at some point, I'd have to wash my makeup off and I didn't want anyone to see me. I'd even put makeup on first thing when I woke up in the morning so my family wouldn't see how bad my skin was, and I was always canceling plans because of breakouts and depression. About 8-9 months ago, I switched dermatologists, got on the right prescriptions and topicals, and I've been blemish-free for 4 months now. My life has truly changed and yours will too. I can't stress enough how important it is to find a good dermatologist who really knows their stuff and is willing to take the time to talk to you about your struggles, what you've tried, what has worked and what hasn't. Anyways, one thing I learned in this journey is that, even though I looked at myself in such a negative light, no one else did. Yeah, I had skin issues, but people that are really worth being around aren't going to give a crap what your skin looks like. The only person your skin is holding back is you, and I think you'd be surprised how little other people notice/care about it, even if its severe. My acne was severe cystic on face/neck/body, yet as my skin cleared and I opened up to my friends/family about how relieved I was about my skin clearing, most of them hadn't even noticed I ever had skin issues!! SO yeah, just keep that in mind and best of luck in your journey!
Do you think the spiro has had a big effect?Im going to ask my derm to put me on spiro soon, I hope it works. And do you like cere V a lot for a facewash?
Posted 14 May 2012 - 12:09 PM
Posted 14 May 2012 - 12:19 PM
I dont mind this response at all, Im glad you take the time to explain.
Yes, spiro has made all the difference! Be aware that it takes time though, and don't get discouraged if you don't see immediate improvement in the first few weeks. It took about 2-3 months for me to see improvement, with full results after 6 months. And by full results, I mean that my skin is 100% clear! But yeah, its definitely worth a try, you've got nothing to lose! I'd recommend starting on a low dose (like 50mg) and just seeing how well you can tolerate it. If you have no side effects after a week, just keep adding 25mg and trying that dose out for a week or two at a time until you find a good dosage. High enough to work, but if you get any side effects like dizziness, trouble breathing, low blood pressure, or missing periods, back it down and stay on the highest dose possible without getting those side effects. Some people do fine on 100-150mg, but if you're like me, I can only tolerate 25mg, but still saw amazing results! And to answer your other question, CeraVe has been a lifesaver. I'll tell you what my dermatologist told me- NEVER USE BAR SOAP. Even if its supposedly non-comedonogenic, hypo-allergenic, fragrance free, or formulated to treat acne, its still awful for your skin and this is why: bar soap is made with emulsifiers, waxes, and fillers to help it keep its shape. When you was your face with bar soap, there will always be trace amounts of residue left behind by the soap. Because of all these waxes and fillers, bar soap always returns to its solid state once it dries. Same with the residue it leaves on your face, and that is a major way to clog pores and cause cysts. CeraVe is liquid and doesn't require all the extra fillers and stuff to make it keep a shape, so there is no chance that it will clog your pores. I used Dove soap for many years, and saw an immediate difference in just a few days after switching to CeraVe. No clogged pores or noninflamed comedone bumps, and my skin smoothed out dramatically. Sorry for the super-long response, but I am just so happy to finally have clear skin and want to help other people on their journey! Anyways, best of luck to you!
Definately will try the ceraVe and spiro. Ill let you know how it goes! btw I am around 5'5 and 130 lbs so I wonder what dosage spiro would work.Ill try whatever the dermo recommends. Thanks!
Edited by AuguriesofInnocence, 14 May 2012 - 12:28 PM.
Posted 14 May 2012 - 12:33 PM
Posted 14 May 2012 - 12:40 PM
Posted 15 May 2012 - 09:06 AM
Amber one more question, when I looked at the CeraVe washes I only saw one kind which one do you use?this one looked creamy and said for normal to dry skin is this OK for me to use because Im not dry? The CeraV I found is in a white pump with green letters.
Well, we are right around the same height and weight, so I'd recommend starting on 50mg like I did and seeing how you feel after 7-10 days on that. If you feel fine, you can just keep upping it until you find the highest dose you can tolerate without side effects. If you do have side effects at 50mg, then don't quit altogether, just try doing 25mg instead. My old dermatologist that I used to go to said that 25mg was too low of a dose to see any results, but he was wrong! Everyone is different, so just experiment with it. Oh, and spiro is really cheap, which is great! I think its around $13 for a 3 month supply!!
Posted 21 May 2012 - 10:08 PM
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