Posted 31 July 2012 - 06:19 PM
Okay I'm starting from day one again. Picking has been getting bad again and my skin is not in good shape.
Started off fairly well today. Didn't really squeeze in the morning.
In the afternoon I squeezed one cystic pimple on my skin and it popped.. Wasn't a necessarily squeeze though.
Late evening was bad. Squeezed two pimples on my cheek just while sitting at my desk. Need to start wearing my gloves at all times again.
Also just picked at pimples all over my face idly. Squeezed the same pimple I popped earlier in the day too. There's no way that that could be in any way beneficial to it healing.
Okay not the best start. But I'm trying to do this as honestly as possible. I've made this and one other project my major focuses for the next 2 weeks. I'm going to try EVERYTHING to stop.
Posted 02 August 2012 - 05:15 PM
Posted 03 August 2012 - 10:26 AM
Just made a list of my picking today. Just jotted these down in my phone during the day:
- squeezed one pimple on my chin that was pus filled - not too much damage - in bathroom on campus
- touched chin a bit in clas
- picked and pulled out some blackheads on my shoulders
- picked at lower back in labs
- picked at shoulders again in lab
- squeezed pimple on back again in labs
Then later in the evening I had a pretty good go at my skin infront of the mirror.
SO not a good day overall. But got some things to try which I think are going to really help (see Day 3 post)
Edited by Stevil, 03 August 2012 - 10:48 AM.
Posted 03 August 2012 - 10:45 AM
Ok got mysef some surgical gloves which I'm going to wear round the house all the time. Wearing thicker gloves is too inconvenient with not being able to type and text. These things are awesome, hardly feels like I have anything on my hands and they make it pretty much impossible to pick.
Reading stoppickingonme.com and found a couple of helpful tips:
- Don't focus on my skin so much. The more attention I pay to it, the more chance there is of me picking at it. Just let go and let it heal on its own.
- when feeling restless/nervous energy, do shoulder and neck exercises instead of picking.
- spend some time on habit reversal techniques. I have a book on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and doing a couple of excercises from there regularly should be helpful.
- Keep a log of when you get urges and if you were successful or not in avoiding it, as well as how you felt and what you could have done differently.
- weekly analysis of habits
Going to make my focus on wearing my gloves and tracking urges for now. I'll see how that goes and see from there.
Posted 06 August 2012 - 12:03 PM
Day 4 - 6
Got lazy about updating this over the weekend.
Last couple days have been better I guess.
Using my gloves which are helpful. Only problem is they're hard to put on and off so its easy to just say naaaah I don't need to wear them. When I do it is helpful though. Also they don't allow the skin to breath which makes your hands all sweaty inside the gloves. Not so cool.
At the moment my skin is pretty good, with no big pimples, except one by the bridge of my nose. I did squeeze this one when I knew I shouldn't have. Meh.
Also my chin area is not looking too great. There aren't bad pimples but kind of smallish red one's which i keep aggravating so the whole area has a tendency to keep getting more pimples.
Today (day 6) I squeezed a couple of pimples but the last two days were actually really good, probably cause I was so busy (partying like a rockstar).
But yeah, need to put more effort into this on a day to day basis. The gloves are helpful for habit prevention but i think the next step is I need to keep a proper log of urges and picking. So i'll add that as a goal for this week.
Posted 07 August 2012 - 02:33 AM
So far so good. I haven't got no real big pimples atm so thats helping for sure. I had one when I started this and it actually popped in the shower two days ago... I just gently patted away all the goo and stuff.
Keep it up
Prepare for the worst but expect the best
Posted 07 August 2012 - 07:08 PM
Trying to do at least 20 minutes of meditation a day to try stay more present so as to not pick skin. Today has been ok. Keep finding myself infront of the mirror and squeezing like one blackhead or pimple before I catch myself.
Squeezed a couple time later in the evening when I was overtired.
Still using the gloves, but they're not actually as effective as I thought cause you can kind of squeeze with them on. At least it prevents idle picking and touching of my face.
I've elevated stopping picking to the number 1 priority in my life right now. Above varsity and gym and healthy eating. It's that important to me,
In that case i need to put the time in to do extra things that will help me stop because it's a deeper problem than mere willpower can overcome. I've stopped smoking before, I gym 5+ days a week, I eat a nearly perfect diet. I know a lot about motivation and willpower and this is a full on addiction that I have that I need added support to stop.
SO from tomorrow I'm going to track everytime I have an urge and everytime i do pick. See how that goes. It's late now and I'm tired, so not going to find/think up any new habits to add other than that for now. But I feel if I just keep doing little things that each add to helping me stop, eventually I'll get there.
Posted 13 August 2012 - 10:38 AM
Well since I last posted I completely fell of the rails. I'd been pretty consistent at not binge squeezing and only picking at a few spots occasionally. Then right after I made the commitment to track all my picking I went on a huge picking binge. Squeezed everything I could... Was probably infront of the mirror for 30 min or more. That was day 8.
Then I held off for about a day... Then the last 2 days I binged picked and squeezed probably the worst I've done all year. Not even attempting to do it properly, just tearing at my skin, squeezing at pimples as pimples as hard as I could, diggin my nails into my skin and breaking it around even tiny blackheads.
My face is a mess now. Actually, I was kind of surprised how it doesn't look THAT bad, I almost expected to wake up and look in the mirror and see 3rd degree burn type damage. All the same, my skin is red and blochy from all the fingernail marks, I have scaby sores and a couple of huge pimples that have been exacerbated by squeezing them relentlessly.
Really not sure where to start or go from here right now. Going to do some reading and see if I come up with anything.
Two things I though about which might help:
- think of creative practical ideas that may even improve my picking by 1%.
- Then IMPLEMENT them. Stay motivated to stick to them no matter what. I need to create an ecosystem of habits that help prevent me from picking.
Posted 13 August 2012 - 11:01 AM
I learnt not giving in to it the hard way. When I was using differin my skin was só sensitive that everytime I squeezed a pimple I would tear of a huge piece of skin of my face. I was left with sore red burned marks on my face.
And yeah, that's how I learnt it the hard way. I NEVER pick or squeeze now, and my face has maybe 1 tiny little scar --> squeezing a pimple on differin.
So really just tell yourself that you will make things much worse when you DO squeeze. You actually give your face a lot more opportunities to scar.
Posted 13 August 2012 - 11:18 AM
Edited by Stevil, 13 August 2012 - 11:19 AM.
Posted 14 August 2012 - 05:31 PM
Well I was wrong my skin could get worse. Today it's looking about as it's ever been. Don't really know what to do right now.
Posted 19 August 2012 - 06:15 PM
Edited by ThatAnnaGirl, 19 August 2012 - 06:17 PM.
Posted 25 October 2012 - 11:36 AM
Posted 29 October 2012 - 06:40 AM
In reality, my acne is really light, and the things I pick at are tiny, barely there bumps. The picking causes them to become inflamed, scabbed over, red, and ouchy for weeks.
My picking also comes as a stress-relieving activity, and from the idea that "getting that pus out of there" will make it better than just letting the pus stay. The idea of letting the pus stay is disgusting to me, but what I've come to learn is that most of the things I pick at never even yield any pus, and the ones that do only give it up days later (and that's only because they've become ugly and red due to my interference).
If you look closely at someone with good skin, you will see that their skin is not a perfectly smooth plane (like the models in magazines!) Normal skin gets the occasional tiny bump, larger-than-normal pores, etc. Normal people would just use a light exfoliater every now and then. For me, my nails would have a field day...and then I would drag that good looking skin down to my level. Getting little bumps here and there is just my skin being normal. Its not acne.
I applaud what you're doing here. Don't be upset by your setbacks--all of us who have tried something similar have run into them. Its a really tough habit to crack because its psychological. Especially when you're in a stressful situation like school. I think wearing gloves is a great idea. Also putting medicine (or wearing a some kind of medicated mask) as much as possible will help keep your fingers away. I try to keep my nails as short as possible. If you don't have nails to pick, you are less likely to try, and if you do, it won't cause as much damage.
Keep it up--every little bit counts.
Posted 11 January 2013 - 05:10 PM
I see that the conversation here got frozen a bit. I'm curious if it's because you all stopped picking or because you gave up...?
! I am entering the challenge!
My appologies in advance for my grammar. I'm Russian, Czech and another few dozens of nationalities, so I don't speak any language properly, but I'll do my best to keep everything simple.
So, I've got my skin picking habit approximately 2,5 years ago. I was in a very (veeery!) stressful situation and it was kind of escape for me. Anyway the stressful situation has passed, but i haven't stopped destroying my skin. I have tried to stop, but I couldn't.
I can not imagine myself living with this addiction and I want to have clear skin, feel free to dress nice clothes again and start feeling proud of myself instead of feeling guilty everytime I get out from the bath. And especially I don't want to regret all the missed opportunities to live a life I want.
Today I searched the internet, found out that this is actually a deasease called dermatillomania and I found this forum. I am very glad that I am not alone!!!
I have downloaded more information about it and my next action is to read what I've got. In 2-3 days I'll decide about the next steps and write them here. So far, I promise myself not to feel guilty about the picking. If it's an illness, I can not beat myself for it, as I don't feel guilty each time I caugh when i have a flu. As long as I do something to overcome it, I'm moving forward.
See you in 2 days!
Posted 13 January 2013 - 01:55 PM
I'm back here.
I've read the information downloaded and I'm planning to start changing this habit rather step by step isntead of trying to be perfect.
By the way, I couldn't manage to be ok after I picked the skin those last 2 days. It's sad
I've printed a checklist for one month and next week I'll challenge myself to avoid touching my face. If I won't manage to achieve it, I will sleep in the sleeping bag on the floor, if I do achieve, I can sleep in my bed. If I achieve 4 days without touching my face, I'll go to the restaurant on a weekend.
As well I'm going to be more aware when and where I start picking and write this things down.
I'll be back here next Sat or Sunday with an update how I'm progressing.