13 replies to this topic

[strikeatdawn]

Does acne ever affect you guys when it comes to love? I try not to let my skin damage my self-esteem too badly, but sometimes it's really hard! I'll confess...I kind of have a crush on one of my friends right now , and his skin is flawless. I know acne is an issue for everyone, but it feels especially weird to be a girl with acne liking a boy with clear skin; isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

It's funny, I saw that this guy I like has a bit of shoulder and back acne...and instead of making me find him less attractive, I was actually kind of excited, hahaha. Because if he has breakouts on his body, maybe he'll understand the ones I have on my face

Oh, how embarrassing! My computer freaked out and posted like six times! I'm really sorry about that!

[Face Value]

Hello,

The excitement you felt is a natural reaction to the thought of sharing your problem with another. Most of my ex boyfriends had totally flawless skin, not even just one spot every now and then. And then I met one guy, he used to get acne, not terribly bad, but in some twisted way I was glad he did because it would make me feel more... normal. We would talk together about treatments, and share stories without embarrassment.

Its a shame that we like to see a problem in others in order make our selves feel more accepting of our own, but that's just the way some of us are...

[Nas]

I know how you feel! My self-esteem is ruined when if I have a breakout.
I had a girlfriend with clear skin, who said "i don't care if you have acne".. it sure gave me confidence. I think that if you like/fell in love with another person, the acne really doesn't matter

Edited by Nas, 22 March 2012 - 08:43 AM.

[ohsailor]

My girlfriend has relatively clear skin and when she doesn't, any breakouts leave hardly any PIH whereas with me, spots that I had six months ago are still present and my skin tone is so uneven compared to hers.

I think it makes it harder almost in a same-sex relationship because it is very very easy to compare yourself to your partner because you are, in essence, so much more similar.

I do have to be careful of my jealousy because she can eat anything that she wants, with no second thoughts, whereas I scrutinise ingredients and food labels.

[Ghostunit]

I don't even know how it feels being in love. I was never in love 'cause I never had female friends.. I used to be pathetic, dumb, etc. because I was so shy and quiet.
I was never even close to have a gf. Last year, I met 2 girls from the dating site, but they were not my type at all.. unhealthy freaks! I want a girl who is healthy, etc.
I'm a vegan, so I want a vegan ^^;; I will try dating site in the future as I am trying to accomplish something.
Oh, and I can't still make female friends! ha ha.

Edited by EddieE, 07 April 2012 - 06:58 AM.

[Spotthedifference]

Go for it! Don't let your acne stop you.

I've been in both situations: My ex had a lot of acne everywhere when I was completley clear, and I now have mild/moderate/moderatley severe (it fluctuates) acne whilst my current partner has almost entirely clear skin. I've found that being with someone with acne didn't bug me in the slightest, in fact I didn't notice that he had it for quite a while until he asked me to try and help him treat it (we discovered that he only had to put Sudacrem on his spots to get a clear face and back, the lucky so and so!). Similarily my current boyfriend has told me that he finds me equally beautiful with or without spots and that he doesn't even notice it unless I go out of my way to point it out.

I'm not saying that your self esteem won't be an issue, it almost always is with acne and several other things in life. Sometimes I have to put several layers of foundation on before I'll let my boyfriend see me (although deep down I know he's seen me with really bad acne and no makeup on before and that he didn't care even then). But if the person is right for you then you'll care a lot more about it than they do, and they'll support you through it (oh, the amount my poor boyfriend has listened to regarding products, routines and break outs!)

[strikeatdawn]

Go for it! Don't let your acne stop you.

I've been in both situations: My ex had a lot of acne everywhere when I was completley clear, and I now have mild/moderate/moderatley severe (it fluctuates) acne whilst my current partner has almost entirely clear skin. I've found that being with someone with acne didn't bug me in the slightest, in fact I didn't notice that he had it for quite a while until he asked me to try and help him treat it (we discovered that he only had to put Sudacrem on his spots to get a clear face and back, the lucky so and so!). Similarily my current boyfriend has told me that he finds me equally beautiful with or without spots and that he doesn't even notice it unless I go out of my way to point it out.

I'm not saying that your self esteem won't be an issue, it almost always is with acne and several other things in life. Sometimes I have to put several layers of foundation on before I'll let my boyfriend see me (although deep down I know he's seen me with really bad acne and no makeup on before and that he didn't care even then). But if the person is right for you then you'll care a lot more about it than they do, and they'll support you through it (oh, the amount my poor boyfriend has listened to regarding products, routines and break outs!)

Thanks a bunch for the encouragement. You're lucky to have such a loving boyfriend! Sounds like a keeper to me!
And Eddie, you should go for it! Female friends aren't really any harder to make than male friends, depending on the girl, haha

Edited by kelseybuhnelsey, 08 April 2012 - 03:07 AM.

[Kairasa]

It isn't supposed to be one way or the other when it comes to dating and acne. Acne is an equal opportunity item. =P

As for relationships, well, I don't think your acne probably registers on the radar with your guyfriend, to be honest. Think about it: do you notice every single imperfection in your friends? Probably not, because you see them often and when you do see them, you take the entire package into account.

I say go for it...I know it's nerve-wracking but you'll regret it if you are too scared to make a move. You can do it! =)

[nick93]

I had a girlfriend with flawless skin. Don't let your acne stop you. I think it holds a lot of us back way too much. I'm struggling with that right now.

[lepetitprincexx]

Go for it. you'll regret it if you don't.

I met my boyfriend of 2 years back in high school when my skin was pretty clear, he however had bad acne. I still thought he was cute and went for it. We've been dating ever since. If you like someone/ if they care about you, acne isn't a problem. I mean, I've had some pretty bad breakouts recently and he still thinks I'm beautiful.

So go for it!!!!

[strikeatdawn]

Thank you all so much for the encouragement!! <3

[NeedAMiracle!]

I know how you feel and it sucks:/ The last two guys i dated had flawless skin and never broke out and i was always so jealous. I had to turn down many invitations to go on the boat or go swimming, or even trips out of town cuz i just didnt want them to see me without my tonss of makeup to cover the acne. I know neither of them really cared but i still felt very uncomfortable and insecure with it and thats what matters, is how youu feel. But now i have been with a guy for a while that has acne acne as well. It is not a turn off for me at all, in fact i kinda really like being with someone that totaly understands and knows what im going through. I have let him see me a couple times now without makeup actually which i would have neverrr done before. He thinks i am just as beautiful and dont even need so much makeup but i still wear it to feel comfortable with myself. You just have to find the right person! If he judges you on your acne and thinks less of you for that then hes not the right one. Hopefully over time you will start to feel more comfortable with yourself, like i am hoping i will too in the future.

Edited by NeedAMiracle!, 11 April 2012 - 01:13 AM.

[AlpineSteez]

I'm not sure if it is my acne that is keeping me from getting a new girlfriend or if it is the self esteem issues that are related.

When I had clear skin in high school I had a couple of girlfriends, but now at College I haven't been seeing any chicks.

I think it's part acne (30%) and part my lack of confidence BECAUSE of acne (70%).

Acne isn't attractive, but it had made my confidence go down the shitter which is even less sexy. I need to turn myself around. Clear skin will do that, but what if it doesn't clear? I have to work towards feeling good about myself again and maybe the skin will follow.

[soysauce]

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Take the shot!!