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#1 severity

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 02:24 AM

Hey ladies,

For as long I've known her, my former girlfriend has had pretty bad acne on her face and on her back. When I first met her, I immediately thought, "Wow, she is gorgeous," despite her having a pretty bad case of acne. But because she had acne, however, I initially thought she was unhappy and/or insecure with how she looked because I always associated it with feelings of anger, hopelessness, depression, fear, etc. I honestly thought she probably felt the same way I did when I had acne (hopeless, angry), so I was a little skeptical about getting to know her at first.

She did end up proving me wrong, however, which I can't be more grateful for. Our relationship was initially a friendship, and as I spent more time around her, I realized she smiled and laughed a lot - a lot more than any other person I had ever known. I don't think I've ever met somebody who loved life more than her, either. She was kind, selfless, and caring, and she always seemed to put others' well beings before her own.

I can't lie, she was quickly becoming more and more gorgeous to me as time went on. In fact, I remember thinking, "This girl is the most beatiful friend I've ever had." Lol. Acne wasn't even in the equation, anymore. Then again, it never really was. I remember being so irrevocably attracted to her on so many more levels than on just her physicality - the latter having already been gorgeous. So, as you can imagine, it was becoming increasingly difficult composing myself around her due to the overwhelming urge to tell her how I really felt. I eventually did, of course, admitting my love for her and that she was the most beautiful entity in the universe. To my surprise, she felt the same way and had been waiting for me all along. Oh, good times.

Anyway, the point is that we're our own worst critics and that acne cannot render a person "not beautiful." You may think that you're not pretty or beautiful or good enough, but I'm telling you, it's not freaking true. I can't emphasize the last statement enough. Your minds deem those negative thoughts to be true, but reality says otherwise. Like I said, my former girlfriend had what acne.org would rate as moderate-severe acne, and she was still freaking gorgeous - raised to the googolplex power.

I really hope my saying this helps you in some way, or that you take what I'm saying into consideration. Also, please don't think that I'm saying this ONLY for the reason to make you feel better, because that's not my intention at all. I'm telling you this because it's the honest-to-God truth. And I truly care about you, even though I don't know you. Yah I know, weird guy on the internet cares about me, right? Anyway, I really hope you girls out there find peace. Guys, same applies.

#2 AcneeHater

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 03:15 AM

I totally agree
Suffer now and live the rest of ur life as a champion

#3 Slash`

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 03:25 AM

Same here. Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image

#4 frackgirl33

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 03:35 AM

Thank you so much for this.

#5 Rheks

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 09:13 AM

This is so lovely, but I cant grasp it. Everyone tells me its really not that noticeable and people dont notice it, but whenever I get a breakout I womt leave the house.

#6 mm..Brian..

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 12:20 PM

What a great post! Really, thank you for this, this will undoubtedly help those girls (and boys) out there with low self esteem and low self-worth because of the impact acne has had on them. Thank you for helping to restore some positivity and hope! (Also your girlfriend sounds really sweet, as do you :))

#7 severity

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 08:28 PM

You guys are very welcome. Posted Image

#8 katiekins

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 10:37 PM

this is so genuine and beautiful and it just made my night. guys like you give me hope that i will find something like that someday! and much luck for you and your future relationships, you deserve it! truly.

Katie

#9 sensitive skin

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 12:44 AM

Great post! :) So nice of you to share this wonderful story with everyone. What a boost of confidence! Thanks a million.
Acne Type: Mild to Moderate, all inflammatory lesions. Cysts and Nodules. I stay very clear most of the time, although I get random cystic outbreaks every couple of months.
Complications: I have Lupus, Sjogren's Syndrome, Hashimoto's Disease, and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome III. Makes treating things complicated, that's for sure!
Routine: Aczone 2x day, Differin 1x a day, Benzoyl peroxide 2.5% 1x day, Yaz, Zinc supplements

#10 k3tchup

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 12:55 AM

Great post man. Truly inspiring and it doesn't have to be just for the ladies as this can be anyone.

Nicely done.

A nurse is not what you do, its what you are..I am a nurse: its not what i do, its what i am.

 


#11 Ilovemesomevanity

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 05:03 PM

awww i love this! made my day Posted Image

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." - Dr. Seuss

 


#12 PrettyInside

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 08:29 PM

...The point is that we're our own worst critics and that acne cannot render a person "not beautiful." You may think that you're not pretty or beautiful or good enough, but I'm telling you, it's not freaking true. I can't emphasize the last statement enough. Your minds deem those negative thoughts to be true, but reality says otherwise. Like I said, my former girlfriend had what acne.org would rate as moderate-severe acne, and she was still freaking gorgeous - raised to the googolplex power.

I really hope my saying this helps you in some way, or that you take what I'm saying into consideration. Also, please don't think that I'm saying this ONLY for the reason to make you feel better, because that's not my intention at all. I'm telling you this because it's the honest-to-God truth. And I truly care about you, even though I don't know you. Yah I know, weird guy on the internet cares about me, right?


severity,

Thank you so much for this most important reminder. We truly ought silence the dreaded inner critic and realize that others do not view us as harshly as we view ourselves. And if they do, they've no business being in our lives. Just my $0.02. Posted Image

Every guy I'd ever dated had perfect skin, which made me feel rather freakish. After all, aren't we females "supposed" to have a glowing, dewy complexion? I'd dated one guy for 2 years, 4 months and only ever saw one--ONE!--small pimple on his face. Yes, life felt rather unfair at times. And, yet, the young men I'd dated never seemed to judge me for my skin imperfections. That fact, in and of itself, kind of weirded me out at times. I'd wonder, Why can't So-And-So seem to see what I see in the mirror? Perhaps the guys were seeing what I could not, blinded as I was by my obsession with my skin.

I've been married for 10 years now and can still feel insecure about my appearence around my husband. And I could swear that, most days, he can't tell when I'm wearing foundation or not--hard to believe, but seemingly true. LOL


P.I.

#13 strikeatdawn

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 08:35 PM

This is just what I needed to hear. Thank you so much :)

#14 strikeatdawn

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Posted 07 March 2012 - 12:22 AM

Also, could you marry me? Hahaha

#15 k3tchup

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Posted 07 March 2012 - 02:00 AM

Also, could you marry me? Hahaha


luls.

Vegas wedding ftw? Im down.

A nurse is not what you do, its what you are..I am a nurse: its not what i do, its what i am.

 


#16 PaulH85

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Posted 07 March 2012 - 10:07 AM

I think it's something we all relate to, in terms of feeling like acne could be a deal-breaker as far as relationships are concerned or whether people would find us attractive. And I don't know about anyone else, but I never really felt like people would take the time to look beyond my acne or search for my good qualities which essentially cancel it out. Ironically. I know I could do exactly that where others are concerned, with total ease, and that all the little things I might come to love about a person as I got to know them would certainly cancel out something comparatively trivial such as acne. In fact, I often wonder about and hope that I'm lucky enough to one day meet the person I feel that way about.

Perhaps it's just a self-esteem thing, whereby we have to work hard to believe in our good qualities and the things that make us who we are, build on them and let them be the things people notice first and focus on the most. After all, maybe in those times when we're struggling or even just feeling down or insecure, we would do well to remember that acne or physical appearance in general don't even remotely deserve to be the things that define us.

Posted Image

Thoughts become words
Words become actions
Actions become habits
Habits become character
Character becomes destiny
It is time to change my destiny

 

You look like a guy I banged once.


#17 mrjarjarbinks77

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 03:07 PM

awww this made my day. Posted Image

#18 DukeBlueDevils

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Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:09 AM

Great post. Moral of the story - People can look past acne and find beauty in somebody. Hopefully you and her are still going steady, bro. Best of luck.
December 21, 2012

#19 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 07 April 2012 - 06:11 PM

This is so, so sweet! I could kiss you!... but I won't, because that would be weird... and you have a girlfriend... and... I don't know you. lol Anyways! Thank you, this was such a kind-hearted and lovely post. You made my day. Posted Image

You! Yes, you. The one reading this. You are beautiful, talented, amazing and simply the best at being you. Never forget that.

 

You don't have to be pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to you boyfriend/spouse/partner. Not to your coworkers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female."

Plea to the world: Eat less meat! Or better yet, don't eat it at all! The meat industry violates basic animal rights, it's destroying our planet, and there are so many health benefits you can gain by decreasing/eliminating meat from your diet. Don't let me tell you- do your own research so you can decide for yourself. (The dairy and egg industries are just as horrendous).

I highly recommend watching the movie Earthlings. ^

#20 back2me

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Posted 07 April 2012 - 10:03 PM

This is so lovely, but I cant grasp it. Everyone tells me its really not that noticeable and people dont notice it, but whenever I get a breakout I womt leave the house.

Co-sign; what people say may or may not be true, but it won't be true to me unless I believe it to be. But to the OP, your gal seems to be pretty lucky to have someone like you, thanks for the post.