43 replies to this topic

[PaulH85]

The most stupid one in a social situation for me was when I was supposed to be taking photographs at a local music awards show. I knew I'd have to get up on stage and be under the bright lights to take pictures. I got so stressed about it and didn't want to go. As I often do if I get nervous or anxious, I picked my skin and turned a small breakout into a total mess, literally minutes before I was due to go to the show. There was no way I could go, but I'd seen the event organiser earlier that day so I couldn't call in sick either. Instead, I ended up making up this stupid story about how I was the only one at home and I'd lost my keys so I wouldn't be able to lock up on my way out, meaning I'd have to stay home, at least until someone else came home from work. That ended up being a very depressing and lonely might, all self-inflicted. Aside from the fact that I let everyone at the event down, I just felt so pathetic for having let my skin control things like always, and for not feeling like I could just go out and meet people and have fun like all those people who were going to be there; all those I perceived as being confident and happy and, "normal".

I cant help but laugh at some of the stories I told over the years. I know it's wrong to lie and it's not like I wanted to deceive anyone or had bad intentions, but I also couldn't help be impressed by how creative I got sometimes. It used to be so tiring though because I'd make up these stories then have to keep up with it afterwards so that I didn't get caught out. It's pretty draining trying to remember what you said and who you said it to.

I wish I'd just been brave enough to do all those things I cancelled. I mean, the worst case scenario would be that none of the people I would have met along the way would have liked me, but I wouldn't technically be any worse off than I am now. At the very least, I would have been bound to make a friend or two along the way and I'd have more social experience than I do now, but I was too short-sighted to see that because the insecurities and so on would always take over and it was easier to bail than it was to face them. Still is I suppose...

[katiekins]

I cant help but laugh at some of the stories I told over the years. I know it's wrong to lie and it's not like I wanted to deceive anyone or had bad intentions, but I also couldn't help be impressed by how creative I got sometimes. It used to be so tiring though because I'd make up these stories then have to keep up with it afterwards so that I didn't get caught out. It's pretty draining trying to remember what you said and who you said it to.

Oh gosh, i had to laugh because I DO THE EXACT SAME THING!!! I cant and wont even try to count the amount of plans I have cancelled because of skin.... a truly sickening amount.... and I understand when you say that you feel awful after you cancel your plans even if the people you canceled on have no idea it was because of acne... because you feel so terrible about lying and sitting at home knowing what your missing out on. It is truly the most miserable feeling !!

But wow, Im impressed by your story... I would have never thought of that !!

I remember once when i was still in high school, I was having a picking day.... and I got my face so messed up that I skipped my class and sat in the girls bathroom in the bathroom stall and locked myself in there. I was quiet and I would life my feet up whenever anybody came in so that "nobody knew I was in there" hahaha but then some girls apparently told a teacher that someone had been in the stall for a long time and they were worried, so the teacher came in and asked if I was okay and I had to make up this whole story about how "my cat died and I couldnt handle the sadness and I just wanted to be alone" haahaha OMG. top that !!! LMAO

But point being that its amazing how acne can turn an intelligent person into someone who does and acts comletely IRRATIONAL !!!!! I wouldnt do that now cause i would like to hope im more mature, but looking back on stories like this make me realize that acne should be taken way more seriously as a "disease" that can change someones mental health lol

[k3tchup]

"But point being that its amazing how acne can turn an intelligent person into someone who does and acts comletely IRRATIONAL"

I can't agree more.. sadly. I'm quite the rationale, logical thinking, intelligent person lol or at least i hope.. but this complete drives me the other way. Well im over coming it now.. little by little.

[katiekins]

Good for you, k3tchup(: its an uphill battle but I'm glad you sound like your closer to the top of the hill than I am(:

[rp245]

No, my boyfriend is no way mean when he says things about my acne, and it doesn't make me feel bad about it. I will always complain to him and say things like 'when will it go away?!' and he jokingly says it back to me. I know he still finds me attractive... he still tells me I'm beautiful and I can tell he means it by the way he behaves. When I'm feeling discouraged and feeling like this is a problem I will always have he makes me feel better by telling me that it's a problem I can fix. It's the power of positive thinking! I don't want to resign myself to the idea that my acne is or will be permanent.

He actually proposed to me during probably the WORST break outs of my entire life. When I said to him 'you want to marry me even though I have pimples?' He said 'haha yes, I will even marry your pimples'.

[mrjarjarbinks77]

So i started this thread because i am interested in hearing if anybody else has had a date that has gotten ruined, or just went downhill because of acne related reasons. Ill start,...

I was hanging out at some friends house who i haven't seen in a while and there was a fair amount of people there. We were all playing pong and watching movies and havinng a good time, and the lights were wicked bright. Fortunately, I felt confident and was having a good skin day. So I started chatting up this kid who was really cute that I had never met before, and he seemed pretty into me so I was happy. But i went to the bathroom and when i was washing my hands, i looked and saw brand new spots that I didnt have before ! ugh i was so embarrassed! and it was about 2 am and i didnt have a ride home, so i had to spend the night there... -______-

who else can make me feel better?!

Katie

You are pretty and if I saw you, I wouldn't stop cause of that.

I met a girl out over a year ago. I couldn't help myself. There were tons of limiting beliefs and things going on in my head but, it was that, I couldn't forgive myself if i didn't take a chance. The best part about it, we hit it off, and developed something in a very short period of time. I can reflect back upon it when I do get depressed or lonely. You need to get out, you need to take a chance, and understand that, 99% of the time, people are too consumed in their own circumstances to even acknowledge. youtube break through with tony robbins episode 1. That shit is inspiring.

I cant help but laugh at some of the stories I told over the years. I know it's wrong to lie and it's not like I wanted to deceive anyone or had bad intentions, but I also couldn't help be impressed by how creative I got sometimes. It used to be so tiring though because I'd make up these stories then have to keep up with it afterwards so that I didn't get caught out. It's pretty draining trying to remember what you said and who you said it to.

Oh gosh, i had to laugh because I DO THE EXACT SAME THING!!! I cant and wont even try to count the amount of plans I have cancelled because of skin.... a truly sickening amount.... and I understand when you say that you feel awful after you cancel your plans even if the people you canceled on have no idea it was because of acne... because you feel so terrible about lying and sitting at home knowing what your missing out on. It is truly the most miserable feeling !!

But wow, Im impressed by your story... I would have never thought of that !!

I remember once when i was still in high school, I was having a picking day.... and I got my face so messed up that I skipped my class and sat in the girls bathroom in the bathroom stall and locked myself in there. I was quiet and I would life my feet up whenever anybody came in so that "nobody knew I was in there" hahaha but then some girls apparently told a teacher that someone had been in the stall for a long time and they were worried, so the teacher came in and asked if I was okay and I had to make up this whole story about how "my cat died and I couldnt handle the sadness and I just wanted to be alone" haahaha OMG. top that !!! LMAO

But point being that its amazing how acne can turn an intelligent person into someone who does and acts comletely IRRATIONAL !!!!! I wouldnt do that now cause i would like to hope im more mature, but looking back on stories like this make me realize that acne should be taken way more seriously as a "disease" that can change someones mental health lol

I am not sure how old you are but, this is what we all have did at one time or another. It is not living and tomorrow is promised to nobody. You need to figure out some way of creating a way of not living in unworthy or self limiting beliefs that are your past time or go to a unresourceful state. The experience with the girl I mentioned, it was not even clear skin, and yet, I thought I looked great even when, I was on a break out that I didn't know about till the next day.

Edited by mrjarjarbinks77, 12 March 2012 - 02:49 PM.

[princessdaphne]

I remember once when i was still in high school, I was having a picking day.... and I got my face so messed up that I skipped my class and sat in the girls bathroom in the bathroom stall and locked myself in there. I was quiet and I would life my feet up whenever anybody came in so that "nobody knew I was in there" hahaha but then some girls apparently told a teacher that someone had been in the stall for a long time and they were worried, so the teacher came in and asked if I was okay and I had to make up this whole story about how "my cat died and I couldnt handle the sadness and I just wanted to be alone" haahaha OMG. top that !!! LMAO

Hahahaha wow, quick thinking! And yeah, I do this too- lying, canceling plans, etc. because of acne. I really wish I didn't! I'd be a much more confident person if it weren't for my skin.

[Jenny P]

I don't date because I know that I am ugly and unwanted

[PaulH85]

Aww, I doubt that, Jenny! The world's a big place full of all kinds of wonderful people and you never know who you might meet if you put yourself out there. Sure, it's not always easy if you're not happy with your skin or low on confidence or something like that, but you'll always feel those negative things unless you give people an opportunity and a chance to show you otherwise.

[conjones]

He commiserates with me about it and will say things like 'ughhhh when are your pimples going to go away?!'

Holy shit, he actually said that? ...

[rp245]

He commiserates with me about it and will say things like 'ughhhh when are your pimples going to go away?!'

Holy shit, he actually said that? ...

Everyone is getting all up in arms about this! He doesn't ask it in a serious manner. I'll complain to him and say 'when are they going awayy?!' and he'll say it back to me in a joking manner (this is what I meant by commiserating with me) and then tell me that he knows they're not permanent so I don't need to worry about it. They will go away eventually. He actually proposed to me while I was breaking out really really really bad and when I said 'you want to marry me even with pimples?' he laughed and said 'yes, I will marry your pimples too'

[PaulH85]

He actually proposed to me while I was breaking out really really really bad and when I said 'you want to marry me even with pimples?' he laughed and said 'yes, I will marry your pimples too'

It's nice that you can be light-hearted about it. And I suppose it's right to look at it as something that will go away, keeping things in perspective and not letting it take over. That can only ever be a good thing.

I imagine it must be difficult for partners sometimes because they might not always know how to approach it if we're sensitive about the subject. If I think about how I am sometimes, in terms of how I feel and how any changes in my skin can influence my mood from one moment to the next, that would be almost impossible for someone to gauge and I don't suppose I'd be any fun to be around when I'm like that. I just feel like I'd be inflicting it on people, but I wouldn't be if I could get to that point where I learn simply not to care so much or worry all the time about how I look.

[rp245]

I am definitely self conscious about my skin still... but it helps a lot to have someone you are close to that can be light hearted about it. It sucks a lot when you are breaking out and just don't feel like you look good, but I try to remind myself that at the end of the day I have a great family, great friends, someone that loves me, and I'm healthy. I live in a beautiful place and have everything I need to live comfortably. So I have acne, it could be way worse.

[multigraincheerios]

I had really bad acne when I first started dating my boyfriend and I was always so self concious of it. My boyfriend doesn't have the best skin ever,so that makes me feel better. However, on our first few dates, I was freaking out because I had all these random bumps and what have you, it was gross. He didn't mind though.

I think if any guy/girl is shallow enough to judge you on your acne, you shouldn't even consider them anyway.

[katiekins]

I WISH so much that i could let the logical part of my brain, the part that KNOWS that i should just chuck any guy that judged me by my skin, but i always seem to let my "heart" make me feel insecure instead. Thats why im starting counseling, cheers to that!

Has anybody had counseling for self esteem type issues and had it help them??

need some encouragement!!

[PaulH85]

Best of luck with the counseling, Katie. I've done CTB and aspects of that covered self esteem issues. If I ever do something specifically relating to self esteem and confidence, I doubt they'll ever get rid of me!

I would say that the best thing you can do is be open with them and be open to the things they suggest or the tasks they recommend.
They can only go based on what you share so if you happen to be reserved about and don't give them very much to go on, they won't have a lot to work with. By the same token, you get back what you put in, so it's worth pushing yourself. That's not always easy of course and, by the very nature of it, the counselor will essentially be getting you to do things you might usually shy away from. They'll want to get you out of your comfort zone in order to break down the barriers you might have put up because of a lack of self esteem. In those instances, it's important to remember that we make these things out to be a big deal in our minds but the reality of pushing ourselves forward is rarely anywhere near as scary as we might think.

[multigraincheerios]

I WISH so much that i could let the logical part of my brain, the part that KNOWS that i should just chuck any guy that judged me by my skin, but i always seem to let my "heart" make me feel insecure instead. Thats why im starting counseling, cheers to that!

Has anybody had counseling for self esteem type issues and had it help them??

need some encouragement!!

I didn't go to a counselor perse, I only talked to my school counselor about some things that were bothering me, including my skin at the time. It seemed to help me feel better. I remember always being really self concious at dances about my back acne and chest acne. That was never fun. I still struggle with it today, especially with the warmer months coming up.

Things'll be fine! Talking about it will help. And I know what you mean about not listening to your logical side. I was that way with my boyfriend. I thought he would constantly judge me on my acne/bad skin, and he didn't! Just have come confidence. 2 years later, and the beau and I are still together.

[Ghostunit]

Date stories? Hm.. well, I met 2 girls in person that I found on a dating site which was a waste of time. My skin was clear, so I took the advantage to meet girls. I am too shy and quiet, so I failed. After we met up, they never wrote at me anymore.. ha ha, so I just deleted them. I am glad this happened because my skin has been freaking out. Also, I want to focus on my career and I want a vegan girl as I am a vegan >_>;; I am super shy and I get zits.. nice.

So i started this thread because i am interested in hearing if anybody else has had a date that has gotten ruined, or just went downhill because of acne related reasons. Ill start,...

I was hanging out at some friends house who i haven't seen in a while and there was a fair amount of people there. We were all playing pong and watching movies and havinng a good time, and the lights were wicked bright. Fortunately, I felt confident and was having a good skin day. So I started chatting up this kid who was really cute that I had never met before, and he seemed pretty into me so I was happy. But i went to the bathroom and when i was washing my hands, i looked and saw brand new spots that I didnt have before ! ugh i was so embarrassed! and it was about 2 am and i didnt have a ride home, so i had to spend the night there... -______-

who else can make me feel better?!

Katie

I do find girls with acne attractive, but most I saw, they obviously look like they're suffering from it.. they either look down or keep looking straight with no eye contacts. They don't seem that happy, but they don't know how pretty they still are!

Edited by EddieE, 25 March 2012 - 08:23 AM.

[Spotthedifference]

I met the most perfect, amazing man during the beginning of my acne emerging. I'd just been the lead role in a show that he'd been helping out with and watching so I'd been covered in layers of makeup for days. Looking back at pictures of our first proper date I cringe, mainly because the dress I was wearing was tacky and I had clown makeup on. I guess it distracted from my acne though!

It was scary the first time he ever saw me without makeup.. he'd stayed the night at my place and I was in the bathroom washing my face (with the door open) when he walked in. He smiled at me, kissed me and said "Still beautiful", then broke in to his usual morning wind-my girlfriend-up routine (he's a very mischevious guy).

[californiaEstie]

So i started this thread because i am interested in hearing if anybody else has had a date that has gotten ruined, or just went downhill because of acne related reasons. Ill start,...

I was hanging out at some friends house who i haven't seen in a while and there was a fair amount of people there. We were all playing pong and watching movies and havinng a good time, and the lights were wicked bright. Fortunately, I felt confident and was having a good skin day. So I started chatting up this kid who was really cute that I had never met before, and he seemed pretty into me so I was happy. But i went to the bathroom and when i was washing my hands, i looked and saw brand new spots that I didnt have before ! ugh i was so embarrassed! and it was about 2 am and i didnt have a ride home, so i had to spend the night there... -______-

who else can make me feel better?!

Katie

We don't need to make you feel better!!
The proof is in the pudding- you said the guy seemed pretty into you before you went to the bathroom. That means he was fully aware of your acne and not bothered by it. The best possible scenario.