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#1 katiekins

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 12:32 AM

So i started this thread because i am interested in hearing if anybody else has had a date that has gotten ruined, or just went downhill because of acne related reasons. Ill start,...

I was hanging out at some friends house who i haven't seen in a while and there was a fair amount of people there. We were all playing pong and watching movies and havinng a good time, and the lights were wicked bright. Fortunately, I felt confident and was having a good skin day. So I started chatting up this kid who was really cute that I had never met before, and he seemed pretty into me so I was happy. But i went to the bathroom and when i was washing my hands, i looked and saw brand new spots that I didnt have before ! ugh i was so embarrassed! and it was about 2 am and i didnt have a ride home, so i had to spend the night there... -______-

who else can make me feel better?!

Katie

#2 k3tchup

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 01:19 AM

So i started this thread because i am interested in hearing if anybody else has had a date that has gotten ruined, or just went downhill because of acne related reasons. Ill start,...

I was hanging out at some friends house who i haven't seen in a while and there was a fair amount of people there. We were all playing pong and watching movies and havinng a good time, and the lights were wicked bright. Fortunately, I felt confident and was having a good skin day. So I started chatting up this kid who was really cute that I had never met before, and he seemed pretty into me so I was happy. But i went to the bathroom and when i was washing my hands, i looked and saw brand new spots that I didnt have before ! ugh i was so embarrassed! and it was about 2 am and i didnt have a ride home, so i had to spend the night there... -______-

who else can make me feel better?!

Katie


Hmm well i can make ya feel better by saying you are too good looking to have this problem :P

Uhm, im to tired to recall any thing of this sort...work kicked my butt so much so i couldnt even go out for my nightly run.

Though i did run a mile and walked almost 5 miles last night. Only took me 2 hrs but i sure felt it this morning... uggh.

So thats my story and im..ZzZzzzzzzz

#3 Kyle_

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 01:25 AM

Hi katie :)
Well, my 'dating' life has never really been affected by acne, even though I feel so much more confident with clear skin because of the regimen, acne never really affected anything for me.
Recently I met this girl, who is actually when I think about it, REALLY spotty, I mean full blown acne, but it just didn't bother me, my skin was clear and her was really bad, but it didn't affect my attraction to her, she only just ruined everything and I refuse to talk to her anymore :D but still!

I might be one of few who feel this way about girls skin but still, it just doesn't make a difference to me!

#4 AcneeHater

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 03:52 AM

hey katie,
Acne hasnt really had a big affected me. I always try to keep myself positive, and well i think everyone should too. I mean today for instance, i just went out with some friends and i met some new people and well i just tell myself so what if they see me at my worst, next time they will be impressed. and so that didnt stop me from interacting with everyone. I also just think too myself that they're more into my personally and if i involve myself they will get too know me better. hope that makes any sense. LOL

Acne is just temporary right..=D

In my opinion i think most boys (not saying all but most) just wanna hangout have a good time and dont really think about little things like acne. but there will always be that 10% that we call a- - holes LOL

#5 Chococrit

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 05:06 AM

I don't know if I can really count this as my story or not, but I'll still post it to see if it helps any or whatever.

I've been seeing someone for the past month now and things are really going great. We both like one another and I really hope that it becomes something more. We've messed around a few times and every time they bring up the fact that they have back acne. Honestly, it doesn't bother me and I fully understand what acne can do to a persons emotions and confidence. But...In the very back of my mind I dislike it and I guess you can call me a d-bag but it is a put off. I don't like to run my hands over it and I feel weird when we are in the shower together. But like I said, that is the d-bag part of my mind, which is very very small. On the up side I really like them and honestly I know that acne goes away and I don't let it effect what we can make this relationship into. Some time you need to look into the future and not worry about the present. I like this person and that's all that really matters in the end.

Sometimes I dislike that I have a 'guys mind' but what can you do about it. I'm still a gentlemen and I will never bring this topic up with them, unless they asked for my help in clearing it.

*feels bad....runs to a corner* Posted Image

#6 PaulH85

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 12:50 PM

I've only got two. The first was pretty much a blind date. Well, we each knew what the other looked like but that was all. Unfortunately for me, the girl in question had seen a picture of me with relatively clear skin and by the day of the date, I was actually right in the middle of the worst breakout I've ever had; it was cystic, I'd made it worse by picking, and my face was a mess. I should have just cancelled but I didn't want to let her down. I was in no fit state to go though and I got so nervous that I threw up before I went to meet her. When I showed up, she was visibly repulsed by what she she saw. I mean, she took a step back when we were face to face for the first time. Experiencing that reaction was horrible. We bumped into a friend of hers and I actually overhead her say, "I might like him if he didn't have all that acne. It's gross!" Easily the worst experience I've ever had. Posted Image

The second was a girl who I'd been chatting to online and we'd talked on Skype and stuff so she knew what I looked like. She seemed happy enough to meet me but then when the time came, for reasons I don't know, she stood me up. Just one of those things I guess. Posted Image

The first instance happened when I was 18, I didn't even attempt to talk to girls after that until last year at the age of 25, and haven't really attempted since. So that's the sum total of my dating experience. Things are different for me now in the respect that I'm generally acne free most of the time, but I still don't really like myself or see that I could appeal to anyone on a physical level, with or without acne. I just don't buy it. Even if I did, I wouldn't know what to do about it and it just feels really scary to put myself out there, meaning that I don't.

Maybe I'll find the confidence to put myself out there one day. Being on these message boards has certainly given me hope because I've read lots of stories from people who have met their partners and are in happy relationships regardless of having acne, or maybe their partners have acne but they see beyond it, and some people have even met their partners on this site which is awesome. Perhaps I'll learn to get over those fears eventually and begin to like myself more, and maybe one day, I might even be lucky enough to meet someone who will like me for who I am. Posted Image

#7 katiekins

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 01:37 PM

hey, thanks guys !! all your stories made me feel much better(: i guess it was just frustrating because i feel like every time my skin gets clear, ill go out and do something and then ill break out again ! oh well, i should be thankful for what i have and remember that it could be much worse !

wow, you guys are incredible that you can not let your skin impact your personal lives and relationships. any tips on how you do that on days when your self esteem is really low? i know i have a good personality, but i get so panicked that they (my boyfriend, friends) will see my skin on a bad day and decide that they dont like me because of it.. i know its pretty irrational.


I've only got two. The first was pretty much a blind date. Well, we each knew what the other looked like but that was all. Unfortunately for me, the girl in question had seen a picture of me with relatively clear skin and by the day of the date, I was actually right in the middle of the worst breakout I've ever had; it was cystic, I'd made it worse by picking, and my face was a mess. I should have just cancelled but I didn't want to let her down. I was in no fit state to go though and I got so nervous that I threw up before I went to meet her. When I showed up, she was visibly repulsed by what she she saw. I mean, she took a step back when we were face to face for the first time. Experiencing that reaction was horrible. We bumped into a friend of hers and I actually overhead her say, "I might like him if he didn't have all that acne. It's gross!" Easily the worst experience I've ever had. Posted Image

The second was a girl who I'd been chatting to online and we'd talked on Skype and stuff so she knew what I looked like. She seemed happy enough to meet me but then when the time came, for reasons I don't know, she stood me up. Just one of those things I guess. Posted Image

The first instance happened when I was 18, I didn't even attempt to talk to girls after that until last year at the age of 25, and haven't really attempted since. So that's the sum total of my dating experience. Things are different for me now in the respect that I'm generally acne free most of the time, but I still don't really like myself or see that I could appeal to anyone on a physical level, with or without acne. I just don't buy it. Even if I did, I wouldn't know what to do about it and it just feels really scary to put myself out there, meaning that I don't.

Maybe I'll find the confidence to put myself out there one day. Being on these message boards has certainly given me hope because I've read lots of stories from people who have met their partners and are in happy relationships regardless of having acne, or maybe their partners have acne but they see beyond it, and some people have even met their partners on this site which is awesome. Perhaps I'll learn to get over those fears eventually and begin to like myself more, and maybe one day, I might even be lucky enough to meet someone who will like me for who I am. Posted Image


thanks for sharing this story, Paul!! i know that anybody who totally HATES having acne, will relate to this. (Having met someone when your skin is clear and then date night comes and WHAM you breakout...-___-)
but from your pictures you look attractive and you definitely need to put yourself out there now that your skin is clear because you seem to have a great personality and hey, your famous on here lol !!!

Katie

#8 severity

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 02:33 PM

When I look back, I didn't really have issues attracting women when I had acne, but getting dates was an impossibility because of the dark, depressive attitude I disposed. I judged all women, thinking they were all shallow and superficial and I convinced myself that I hated them for not wanting me. The fact was that I was one who was shallow and superficial. I remember there being a really pretty girl I met through a friend and she apparently liked me, but I chose not to believe it. When I hung out with her once, I was a blatant dick to her and she was absolutely repulsed. In my mind I kept saying, "This girl wouldn't want me because of my acne." I was so convinced that I was ugly and every girl thought the same and that really pushed people away. Acne was a horrible mind game...

When I showed up, she was visibly repulsed by what she she saw. I mean, she took a step back when we were face to face for the first time. Experiencing that reaction was horrible. We bumped into a friend of hers and I actually overhead her say, "I might like him if he didn't have all that acne. It's gross!" Easily the worst experience I've ever had. Posted Image


That's a tough deal, man. Sorry you had to experience that. Posted Image

Try to take compliments like that with a grain of salt though. Easier said than done, yah, I know. It's just that a lot of people don't understand what it's like to have to deal with acne, let alone go on dates with it all over your face.

#9 PaulH85

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 02:57 PM

but from your pictures you look attractive and you definitely need to put yourself out there now that your skin is clear because you seem to have a great personality and hey, your famous on here lol !!!


Aww, thank you, Katie. It's a bit of a vicious cycle really because that lack of experience means I keep to myself, but keeping to myself isn't going to do anything to counter that inexperience. Same goes for friendships as well as I don't usually feel confident to approach anyone, full stop. I reckon all it would take is just one person to come along and show me the way, so to speak. I used to get pretty down about it and really caught up in feeling like I've been left behind but I try not to do that now because it's of no help. Never know, perhaps things will just fall into place for me when the time is right. Posted Image


Try to take compliments like that with a grain of salt though. Easier said than done, yah, I know. It's just that a lot of people don't understand what it's like to have to deal with acne, let alone go on dates with it all over your face.


Yeah, that's certainly the way. It's not always easy, especially if the negative moments start to stack up. I'm my own worst enemy in some respects as I tend to dwell on stuff. Perfectly illustrated by my ability to let something that happened when I was 18 to still influence things at 26. There are ways and means though and it seems the trick is to learn to flip things around and think positively and with some self-belief. Takes time and patience I guess. Posted Image

#10 katiekins

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 06:38 PM

When I look back, I didn't really have issues attracting women when I had acne, but getting dates was an impossibility because of the dark, depressive attitude I disposed. I judged all women, thinking they were all shallow and superficial and I convinced myself that I hated them for not wanting me. The fact was that I was one who was shallow and superficial. I remember there being a really pretty girl I met through a friend and she apparently liked me, but I chose not to believe it. When I hung out with her once, I was a blatant dick to her and she was absolutely repulsed. In my mind I kept saying, "This girl wouldn't want me because of my acne." I was so convinced that I was ugly and every girl thought the same and that really pushed people away. Acne was a horrible mind game...


When I showed up, she was visibly repulsed by what she she saw. I mean, she took a step back when we were face to face for the first time. Experiencing that reaction was horrible. We bumped into a friend of hers and I actually overhead her say, "I might like him if he didn't have all that acne. It's gross!" Easily the worst experience I've ever had. Posted Image


That's a tough deal, man. Sorry you had to experience that. Posted Image

Try to take compliments like that with a grain of salt though. Easier said than done, yah, I know. It's just that a lot of people don't understand what it's like to have to deal with acne, let alone go on dates with it all over your face.



AHH and here is the real problem with us acne people ! i do the exact same thing... i always have a guy or a boyfriend with no problem, and they seem to come to me, but i push them away because im convinced that they are making a mistake and if they really knew my insecurities they wouldnt want me anymore so im "doing them a favor" when in reality im just being a bitch and they dont understand why i am that way towards them.

oh and ps- can someeone pleasse tell me how to quote just a section of a post instead of the whole thing? sorry im like a acne.org freshman.....

#11 princessdaphne

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 07:09 PM

Haha well there may be an easier way but what I do to quote just part of it is click quote and delete the parts I don't want to quote! Just make sure you keep the part that says [ quote ] at the beginning (without the spaces-if I really did it it would make a quote!) and [ /quote ] at the end! Posted Image

Edited by princessdaphne, 05 March 2012 - 07:10 PM.


#12 PaulH85

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 07:21 PM

Yeah, as long as you keep the first part of the code which refers to the poster you're quoting, and the 'end quote' code at the end, you can delete whatever text in between those two codes which you don't want to include.

So for example, if I wanted to quote your last post alone without the extra quotes from myself and severity, I would keep the first code which - minus the space after the first bracket - looks like like this: [ quote name='katiekins' timestamp='1330994306' post='3222830']
Then I'd delete everything right down to where your actual post starts, and as long as I have [ /quote] at the end - again without the space -it will display properly and it saves quoting those same quoted posts multiple times.

Make sense?

Best way to get the hang of it is to try it out and preview the post before actually posting it to make sure you've kept the right bits of code so that it displays properly. In any event, if you did happen to get it wrong, I have the magic moderator powers to fix it! :D

#13 katiekins

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 10:29 PM

Best way to get the hang of it is to try it out and preview the post before actually posting it to make sure you've kept the right bits of code so that it displays properly. In any event, if you did happen to get it wrong, I have the magic moderator powers to fix it! Posted Image


yay, thank you! i did it haha! i was so confused(: and i bet your loving the magic moderator powers! lol, i like that the mods on this site are people that have really earned the right by replying to lots of posts with advice that people appreciated.

any other date stories guys?

#14 k3tchup

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 12:45 AM


Best way to get the hang of it is to try it out and preview the post before actually posting it to make sure you've kept the right bits of code so that it displays properly. In any event, if you did happen to get it wrong, I have the magic moderator powers to fix it! Posted Image


yay, thank you! i did it haha! i was so confused(: and i bet your loving the magic moderator powers! lol, i like that the mods on this site are people that have really earned the right by replying to lots of posts with advice that people appreciated.

any other date stories guys?


Low self esteem days? I listen to music and or try to motivate myself to looking forward to something.. anything. I tend to look forward to going out at night as that's when i run and learn to dodge traffic as well as ice. You know if there's one thing I've learn its that falling hurts less than the ballet moves a person performs just to keep from falling. Posted Image .
I have no idea why i like to nearly freeze to death or run through deep snow nightly.. but its just nice to get out of town at night to see the stars and night sky. There is a bike path that runs out of town that i sometimes take because its quite and I just like being out "in the wild" so to speak (i grew up out of town until i moved 6 years ago). I can hear the coyotes howl which is pretty cool though frightening at times because I am all alone with a small jack knife to defend myself if something else decided to show up.


Date stories. Well, dont have any. Depressing believe me as I've been lectured by my patients on "what are you waiting for." However, my stories are more job related like.. getting pissed/crapped on, groped by patients (and 1 worker..crazy stalker), cursed out by family/guests, called every name besides my own (yea i mean swearing), walking in on an old couple attempting sex (notice *attempting..ugh) , fetching dentures out of a garbage can someone vomited in.. oh ya that's just the beginning.

It flipping sucks having to do and have experienced all that; but they all make one hell of a great story.

Edited by k3tchup, 06 March 2012 - 12:50 AM.


#15 makethatchange

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 05:16 AM

Now I feel depressed...I have NO date stories. I just avoid guys.

Edited by makethatchange, 08 March 2012 - 05:17 AM.


#16 abigailwheeler

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 05:53 AM

I used to cancel dates with my boyfriend about two years ago when my skin was really bad. The treatment I was using really dried my skin out... So I would spend ages painstakingly applying my makeup to cover the red giant spots, then it would crack like crazy paving as soon as I moved my mouth. When that happened I'd cry all my makeup off, scrub my face in the bathroom til it was red raw, try one more time until it happened again. Then I'd cancel. I'm so glad he stuck with me through all that!

I even used to diligently pick which side of the bed/sofa I would inhabit to make sure he wouldn't see the worst side of my face. I didn't want to talk about it with him back then because I thought if I spelt my insecurities out to him, he'd notice them even more. Nearly two years on he has told me that whilst he noticed my spots (obviously), they didn't bother him at all and still felt lucky (!!) to have me. Yay.

The truth is, any guy/girl who is really worth your time won't be concerned with any acne or spots, they will be interested in you for the person inside. My lovely mummy had adult acne from the ages of 16 to 25. She met my Dad when she was 17, they married at 19 and had me when she was 24. All this time she had raging acne that needed roaccutane to cure it and my Dad loved her anyway, seeing her beauty through the spots. They are still madly in love now and she STILL gets spots.

#17 rp245

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 06:03 AM

When my boyfriend met me I had relatively clear skin.... not anymore. He commiserates with me about it and will say things like 'ughhhh when are your pimples going to go away?!' but he also has said to me 'they don't really bother me, besides I know they're not permanent'. When he says that he knows they're not permanent it makes me feel more confident too that they will eventually go away! :)

#18 nice_helenuk

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 06:20 AM

Date stories - not really a story, but overview. My skin is probably better these days than in the past, but still no bloke.It's good enough now that I suspect no-one but me really notices it. I'm pretty sure the lack of boyfriend is therefore to do with things other than acne. Eg, the effort I make to go out talk to people, meet people, flirt etc. My point, I'm afraid to say, is that if even if you do get clear, dates don't always come flooding in. I suspect the opposite is also true, that someone with the right attitude/confidence/personality can get dates even with an acne problem.

When my boyfriend met me I had relatively clear skin.... not anymore. He commiserates with me about it and will say things like 'ughhhh when are your pimples going to go away?!' but he also has said to me 'they don't really bother me, besides I know they're not permanent'. When he says that he knows they're not permanent it makes me feel more confident too that they will eventually go away! Posted Image


You need to dump this guy

#19 hayleyx90

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 02:16 PM

Not really a date but..i was at work one day, hiding in the back stockroom (I work in retail) and my boyfriend at the time came in and surprised me...the one day i decide not to wear makeup to work!! thought I'd give my skin a bit of a break and because I knew the shop would be quiet and didnt think I would bump into anyone. He wanted to meet up after I had finished work as well, but I tried to get out of it cause my skin was having a really bad day. But when he came in to surprise me my hair was up in the scruffiest bun, I had horrible skin, I was in my cringe uniform and he gave me the biggest hug and said you look gorgeous!! made me feel tons better!;)

#20 katiekins

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 03:02 PM

Now I feel depressed...I have NO date stories. I just avoid guys.


Don't feel depressed !! Having a relationship is not as fulfilling as it should be for me either... because of my insecurities I am not able to spend enough time with my boyfriend and treat him the way I really SHOULD, so in some ways UNLESS you are confident enough to put your acne second to your bf, it is almost better to be single and work through the acne first. But even if you are not dating, you should most definitely not avoid guys! Im sure you are a beautiful girl EVEN with your skin. Although I understand how hard it is to make friendships with guys when your worried about your skin, I force myself to hang out with guys because if you force yourself to be confident around them, they dont care about your skin! And even though I cant get that through my own head sometimes, talk about football, dont only eat salad, and you'll have a guy friend that apreciates you in no time(:


@abigailwheeler- Im so happy for you that you found someone who can look past your skin and see through to you! It seems like you have an awesome personality and hes a lucky guy. I think you are the stronger person though, because while most people can look past someones physical flaws, there are not many people that can give someone the chance to do that. Good job, im inspired(:


When my boyfriend met me I had relatively clear skin.... not anymore. He commiserates with me about it and will say things like 'ughhhh when are your pimples going to go away?!' but he also has said to me 'they don't really bother me, besides I know they're not permanent'. When he says that he knows they're not permanent it makes me feel more confident too that they will eventually go away! Posted Image


DUMP HIM. this sounds like bad news. one? what kind of good bf would complain to you about your skin and when its going to go away? It shows me that he doesnt care about your feelings because he knew that that wouldnt make you feel good about your self and he said it anyway!! and 2? WHAT IF IT WAS TO BE PERMANENT? would he stay with you then? you deserve better, hunny(:

Date stories - not really a story, but overview. My skin is probably better these days than in the past, but still no bloke.It's good enough now that I suspect no-one but me really notices it. I'm pretty sure the lack of boyfriend is therefore to do with things other than acne. Eg, the effort I make to go out talk to people, meet people, flirt etc. My point, I'm afraid to say, is that if even if you do get clear, dates don't always come flooding in. I suspect the opposite is also true, that someone with the right attitude/confidence/personality can get dates even with an acne problem.


Im sure that its not because your "undatable" like you make it seem like! (: the right guy can take some time to find. Its great that you are putting forth the effort to go out and be social so keep that up, and a good worthy guy WILL notice.

oh and btw, i dont mean only "dates" like romantic dates! It can be a story about any social outing that got ruined by skin matters! i thought about another one for me...
My friends and I were going to the hot springs, ( outside naturally heated pool ), and when we got there at first it started out okay because we were just hanging out in the shallow end of the water. But then my friends all decided to swim to the deep end and they all put their heads under and started swimming... of course, i had concealer on so i had to doggy paddle over there trying not to get my face wet.. they were all staring at me like "wth" it was really embarrassing. I just played the "i dont know how to swim" card even though i do know how, but it mnade me feel so alone in this acne battle.