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And The Ignorance Prevails


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#1 Baladii

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Posted 04 March 2012 - 03:31 PM

It blows my mind how uneducated and insensitive people are when it comes to acne...but I suppose if one has never dealt with this ailment/disease first hand they have no reason to be. I've admired this forum from afar for too long and decided to join today. My skin has been a roller coaster ride since the age of 14 and I'm now 24, I've gone through a cycle of accutane, changed my diet, (which I stick to regardless of what my skin is doing because I know it's a healthy practice for my body anyway), tried visualization, herbs, birth control, every topical you can imagine and I still suffer 10 years later. But I haven't lost hope yet, I think that all of us are in this together and we can achieve whatever we set out to do with enough persistence.

When an older woman at my work yesterday asked me if I had "ever tried Proactive" it literally took damn near every ounce of strength in my body not to punch her in the face and walk away. Calm and collected, (but boiling inside at her ignorance) I politely responded that I had in fact years ago...and that my condition is hormonal, chronic, and didn't respond for long to even the harshest medications on the market. She insisted that her son "had it like me" and that it was a miracle drug. I did an about face and avoided her dumb ass for the rest of the night.

To her credit, she probably had no idea how sensitive people with chronic, unabating acne are and just wanted to be helpful... Sometimes I wonder about people like her though. It's definitely a test of character, confidence, and strength to be put in that kind of situation, even at my age.

Edited by Baladii, 04 March 2012 - 03:37 PM.


#2 trtn48

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Posted 04 March 2012 - 08:30 PM

Yep, too true sadly...one of my best friends (known him since age 5, we're 19 now) always took it upon himself to point out when I had a particularly bad pimple. He's one of those people who can eat whatever (and this guy will, I've watched him open a box of cookies and demolish it in one sitting) and not feel any effects. All we can do is accept it for now, and tell ourselves that one day we'll be better off for it.

Edited by trtn48, 04 March 2012 - 08:30 PM.


#3 mini7

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Posted 04 March 2012 - 09:14 PM

Baladii I know what you're going through. My mom constantly gets on my case about my skin and has told me the same story a billion times about how her friend had a daughter who has bad acne like me and got rid of it completely with positive thinking. I hate to admit it, but even I have felt like slapping my own mother in the face when she says things like this. Her other favorite is asking me whether or not I've tried putting aloe vera on my face. I know she is well meaning, but it still makes me clench my teeth every single time she says it.

#4 Steve Duby

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 09:56 PM

My mother recently, along with a package of other things, mailed me two bars of Neutrogena cleansing soap. She meant well, but I had a small cringe inside. I've honestly been spared a lot of the psychological acne strife...mainly because at around 22 it came back after ending my stint on Bactrim (antibiotic pill) since my high school days. I had mostly clear skin all the way through college, but I didn't like having a constant synthesized antibiotic in my system, so I went off of it. The acne returned with a vengeance, and after keeping it at bay with SkinID for a year or so I said screw it and decided to find my own way that I'm comfortable with. It's included a lot of trial and error (Olive leaf extract, partial Wai diet, Dr. Bronner's soap, aloe vera, etc.) My friends never say anything...but anytime my mother brings it up (the only person who does), I almost instantaneously boil over.

#5 KATE75

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 10:47 AM

People's insensitive comments about my acne would always upset me. They don't seem to realise that we people who suffer from this skin condition take much better care of our skin than they do. I tried absolutely everything I could before I discovered this regimen to try and stop the acne - antibiotics, herbal medicine (that cost me an absolute fortune and did nothing to help me whatsoever), accutane (which did help for a time but then it came back), changing my diet etc etc and then some people who have never had so much as a tiny pimple to deal with, thinking they can tell me what I need to do to help my skin. Honestly, it made me so angry but then I would think "well, they can't know what I have already tried and they are just trying to be helpful........"

I do wonder about that now though. For example, if someone is seriously overweight I would never dream of telling them what I think they should do to lose the weight for the simple fact that it would probably hurt their feelings and people tend to already be aware of their own imperfections so the last thing they need is someone else reminding them of them. It's just a shame that when it comes to acne that there seem to be a lot of insensitive people out there who feel they have a right to lecture you about your own skin. I never found it helpful just really embarrassing.

I am so glad I started posting in these forums. It makes me realise how much stuff I have been bottling up about my acne for the last 24 years!!

Edited by KATE75, 03 April 2012 - 10:56 AM.


#6 TreatAcne

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 12:06 PM

Sweet victory, THANK you for mentioning this. Acne is, after all, NOT HERE BY OUR CHOICE! Who in the right mind would PURPOSEFULLY want to put reddening, swollen, painful pimples and cysts ALL over their face and NOT do something about it? Not one person I've met have EVER expected, nor ASKED, for their acne, and at least a quarter of these people are still with me because of their acne to this very day.

I remember being in hot, and I mean WHITE HOT RAGE when several teachers pulled me out of the lunch room at my high school once day, and put me in the nurses office, just so they could stare me down (without telling me why for several minutes!!!) and then blindly hand me an acne ointment, as though they were trying to convince themselves that THEY are doing something in MY best interest by rudely pointing out what was so obviously BLEEDING and sticking out of my face. This irks me to no end. It's OBVIOUS what I have, WHY would your first thought be that I need to try something that YOU recommend when you clearly have no acne scaring or "experience" with it whatsoever?

Acne is a sobering realization that there is so much more going on in our bodies that meets the eye. For some reason, companies make a TON of money off their acne products, because so many people get acne at some point in their lives. But when those with OUT acne lecture you on what they think is BEST, or silently do something for you (like hand you a bar of special face soap), then I literally become speechless, if not immensely hurt by their actions (my only exception would be people who were obviously interested in the field of skin and just happen to know about acne, like dermatologists and doctors). What's wrong with asking, "Hey! How are you doing? By the way, I've noticed that your acne has been persistent for quite some time. Is there anything I can do to help?"..... you know, like a caring clueless way to let people know that you WANT to politely say something about it but they are willing to listen to you first..... RATHER than saying something like, "Hey! Have you ever tried considered Neutrogena? I've seen the commercials for it, it looks great for someone with your skin!". I don't know, maybe it's the way they say it, but there are so many other things they COULD have done, or even spoken about in a different way, rather than treat you as a moron. But the real help would be for them to never bring it up at all, yet for some reason they still do because "it's acne". Isn't that something?

#7 Rjavi10

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 07:56 AM

People are fucking stupid. Don't they understand that we acne sufferers are very much educated about our condition? That we have spent countless hours researching information on how to combat acne? And then they have the nerve to ask us if we have ever used Proactive? Or some other stupid ass miracle home remedy

#8 AuguriesofInnocence

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:19 PM

People are fucking stupid. Don't they understand that we acne sufferers are very much educated about our condition? That we have spent countless hours researching information on how to combat acne? And then they have the nerve to ask us if we have ever used Proactive? Or some other stupid ass miracle home remedy

Not to be arrogant but sometimes I feel as though I know more than my doctor regarding acne/skincare...after all I spend a lot of time researching and talking to people and experimenting on myself! Im sure you all have had a similar experience. Ive already had doctors tell me "acne isnt affected by diet' Um hello, welcome to the 21st century...
That said, if anyone makes "helpful" comments on my acne (which they usually dont) I am calm about it and simply tell them I am dealing with it as best as I can, thanks for the concern but the discussion is closed, then change the subject. If they are rude on purpose, forget it, they are not worth your time. Karma will get them in the end :-)

#9 wingedserpent

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:35 PM

At least young people these days have the internet for knowledge and support. When I was growing up in the 1980s you were on your own. Although we had much better music!

#10 icefairy88

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 11:44 AM

Ahh i know, i hate it. I was at the hair salon getting a trim when the girl cutting my hair started talking about how she has all of these friends who have acne, and how proactive can help me because it helped them. I just nodded and stuff, silently wanting to yell at her. She asked me what my skin routine was, i told her, and she then told me it was never going to work. Oh, thanks..

And this happens pretty much every time i go there, just with a different person every time.

#11 KATE75

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 08:33 AM

Ahh i know, i hate it. I was at the hair salon getting a trim when the girl cutting my hair started talking about how she has all of these friends who have acne, and how proactive can help me because it helped them. I just nodded and stuff, silently wanting to yell at her. She asked me what my skin routine was, i told her, and she then told me it was never going to work. Oh, thanks..

And this happens pretty much every time i go there, just with a different person every time.


I would go to another salon if I were you. No way should a hairdresser be making such a personal comment like that about your skin. You went there to have your hair cut not be insulted. I find it hard enough sitting in the salon with all those mirrors around me so if the stylist started on me about my skin I wouldn't go back there.