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Don't You Just Feel Pathetic Sometimes?


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#1 HiImMatt

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Posted 02 March 2012 - 09:42 PM

I do. I do everytime i look in the mirror i just feel like im pathetic and here's why:

Im a 18 year old guy and im sitting here in my chair for hours sometimes. I should be out doing something cool exicting, dating, having fun, ya know. I feel so bored all the times, Which is why i sometimes write random questions on here lol. I just wish i could be like a lot guys and have the confidence and feeling like i can go out there and talk to girls without feeling like im gonna pass out, IF it even gets to that, most of the time when i even just walk next to a girl i feel like im gonna pass out :/. Ughhhhhhhhhhh, i need a job, maybe that might help. Or maybe i need some thrill i dont know, maybe im just EXTREAMLY lonely or bored. Uh, at least i always have my music to sooth me, hopefully someday i find my missing part of me.

Edited by HiImMatt, 03 March 2012 - 12:04 PM.


#2 k3tchup

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 12:36 AM

I do. I do everytime i look in the mirror i just feel like im pathetic and here's why:

Im a 18 year old guy and im sitting here in my chair for hours sometimes. I should be out doing something cool exicting, dating, having fun, ya know. I feel so bored all the times, Which is why i sometimes write random questions on here lol. I just wish i could be like a lot guys and have the confidence and feeling like i can go out there and talk to girls without feeling like im gonna pass out, IF it even gets to that, most of the time when i even just walk next to a girl i feel like im gonna pass out :/. Ughhhhhhhhhhh, i need a job, maybe that might help. Or maybe i need some thrill i dont know, maybe im just EXTREAMLY lonely or bored. Uh, at least i always have my music to sooth me, hopefully someday i find my the missing part of me.


I like your sig. And since you use it here maybe you should exercise it in real life? Its hard i know but you have to start somewhere or else all you do is go backwards and become a total recluse.

Yea I do and I did.We all do and there is nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn't progress into a worsening depression. Regardless of how insecure you are about talking about it, regardless of how much you feel embarrassed or angry about it, you should talk to someone. It helps, be honest and its alright to have "a moment" it doesnt make you less of a person. We are all human.

To tell you the truth i played competitive gaming to pass my time since i didnt want to go out and do like you say. Sure i made great friends online and had tons of respect because im a very good at video games, very good. But it all fades once you stop and its not a life. I have quit gradually over the past few months because i became so dependent upon it as a means to interact with people. Well when ya have a job and a future coming up its better to be prepared for it then not. So thats how i passed my time. I still do game and watch movies as thats something i just love. (I have Hulu plus account) but its not a life. Get out there man and enjoy life. Live by your sig and dont take what others think of you to heart. Dating in HS is over rated.

#3 Coppedsynergy999

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 12:37 AM

Start working out. Go play some sports. Change the way you think. No negative thoughts. Postive-affirmations. Groom well. God didnt make you to be a fumbling nervous wreck. He created you to be a champion. Get out there pal and give it your best shot!! and no I dont feel pathetic. EVER

#4 rp245

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 02:55 AM

I really think that if you walk around with a positive attitude people won't notice your acne as much.
There was a friend of mine I've known since high school and back in our freshmen year of college he showed me the picture of the crossed out pregnant woman that came with all of his accutane pills (which he thought was hilarious). I remember thinking to myself, 'wait... since when does he have acne bad enough for accutane...?' Then I looked at his face and realized he actually had really bad acne. I mean, I always knew he had some, but because he was and still is one of the most fun and outgoing people I know I hadn't noticed how bad it was. Also, he never had any trouble dating. Tons of girls I know absolutely adored him. This is all despite the acne he had, and I think it was all because he is just such a happy and outgoing person. Now his acne is totally gone, so I'm sure you can imagine how awesome his life is now.
Remembering that moment when I realized he had acne has really helped me lately. A lot of times I feel self conscious too, especially when I go out without makeup and assume people must think 'ew gross... why isn't that girl trying to cover her acne? I don't want to look at that!' But I just try to be as confident as possible and hope everyone will look past it. Besides, I'm a strong believer that the happier you are the better your skin gets. I'm young, I'm healthy, I have friends, a family, and a boyfriend that loves me, and there isn't too much serious stuff in my life I need to worry about right now. Why waste it being worried about something that seems to be out of my control?

#5 mm..Brian..

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 02:59 AM

You need a change in your life, for sure. That job idea seems like a good one, look into that. A job will means you get to meet people and get money ;) although it's probably a scary idea for you, thinking about dealing with people it gets easier the more you do it. Trust me I have been struggling with social anxiety for years now, and it kept preventing me from getting a job or finishing college. But now, I have a job and I've gone back to college, and it feels great. I'm getting better and better at talking to people and I don't feel so anxious all the time. Anxiety is something that definitely needs practice, doing the things that scare you, so just go ahead! You'll thank yourself for it.

#6 DainBramaged

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 07:10 AM

The only way you can overcome this is to pressure yourself. Feel uncomfortable on purpose.

#7 PaulH85

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 09:13 AM

Well Matt, it's logical that you would end up feeling down, depressed or lonely if you spend your time indoors, don't have much going on or a job to get involved in.
I'm in the exact same position. I took some time out to get some help when I got fired from my job last July, and now I'm at a point where I've got a few things under control and in that time I've actually completely cleared my acne. But the depression crept back in because I'm bored and lonely. In that respect, it's circumstantial and I need to be doing the opposite of what I'm currently doing with my time - nothing - in order to get over those feelings. That's scary because it means facing a few fears, being a little brave, and having a bit of confidence and some self-belief.

With or without acne, it's hard to do that stuff because if you're lacking confidence and you're feeling insecure, the fear that creates gets in the way. And no doubt, it's more difficult to battle through and make things happen for yourself when you''re your struggling with acne or are unhappy with how your skin looks. But, it still has to be worth it. It's hard to know where to start but perhaps small steps will be best, finding a situation where you can feel comfortable and also meet new, like-minded people to share your interests with. I'm trying to work it out as well and don't really know where to start either, but the fact that we're acknowledging it and wanting to address is technically progress, might as well roll with that and see if a little bravery pays off.

:)

#8 HiImMatt

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 12:10 PM

Thanks for all the advice, You guys are the best :)!

#9 MJRI94

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 06:35 PM

The only way you can overcome this is to pressure yourself. Feel uncomfortable on purpose.

Got to agree with that.

There have been times when I have done exactly what you've done - looked in the mirror, felt pathetic and sorry for myself and a lot of those times I have just dwelled on it and let it mess up a whole host of things. But sometimes you have to just stop and slap yourself in the face (not literally, unless you want to Posted Image more of a mental slap!), you can't just sit forever feeling sorry for yourself and bummed out - its obviously not healthy for you and it does no one any good. If you want to change the rut that you are in, you have to challenge/force yourself to do it in order to do whats best for yourself. Its very easy to say you are going to change and try different things but the test is carrying them out. You were thinking about a job - go for it, think of the benefits it will grant you and the satisfaction you will get if you get it, or maybe it will be something else, going to the gym, etc, something that will put you out of your comfort zone. You've gone through enough to know you need something different so tell yourself that you will make it happen - you don't get if you don't try

#10 DainBramaged

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 07:27 PM

Right.

The feeling you say you get when you walk next to girls is a form of fear. It paralyzes your thought and your reflexes are slower, cause you are afraid something may not go well. While this thought remains more or less the same, by repeated exposure to uncomfortable situations the emotion will fade and you will not have as much anxiety as before, because your mind will get familiar with the situation and will recognize that there are no big risks involved. This is a scientific way to put it.
So yeah, try to feel uncomfortable :)

#11 amy91

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 09:14 PM

I do. I do everytime i look in the mirror i just feel like im pathetic and here's why:

Im a 18 year old guy and im sitting here in my chair for hours sometimes. I should be out doing something cool exicting, dating, having fun, ya know. I feel so bored all the times, Which is why i sometimes write random questions on here lol. I just wish i could be like a lot guys and have the confidence and feeling like i can go out there and talk to girls without feeling like im gonna pass out, IF it even gets to that, most of the time when i even just walk next to a girl i feel like im gonna pass out :/. Ughhhhhhhhhhh, i need a job, maybe that might help. Or maybe i need some thrill i dont know, maybe im just EXTREAMLY lonely or bored. Uh, at least i always have my music to sooth me, hopefully someday i find my missing part of me.

Im almost clear now, but guess what? My self confidence isn't high enough yet, I'm still dealing with awkward social situations ( although I thought If I get clear my life will change completely). We tend to blame acne for everything bad that happens in our lives. Yes, it's really annoying and depressing to suffer from acne, however clearing your acne isn't enough to live a full,meaningful life. Insecurities left inside us are more difficult to get rid of than the actual flareups.
You have to begin value yourself no matter what. Easier said than done, but if you don't know what self worth is, you'll never succeed in this life. Never let anyone bring you down.

Edited by amy91, 03 March 2012 - 09:16 PM.


#12 severity

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 04:51 PM

Dude, you MUST get out and stop dwelling in your sorrow ASAP. There's really no other way to get around it because self pity is a self-perpetuating thing. It derives its energy from your negativity, while festering in the mind and body. It becomes stronger through your misery, which in turn makes you even more miserable. It's like the engine of sorrow. It'll just keep running until you cut the ignition, which does take a lot more work than the turning of a simple key.

Go hit the gym hardcore and get stronger and faster, or take up a team sport. Comraderie has an amazing way of separating people's differences because of the common goal everyone must work together to accomplish. Also, reading or learning something new is a great way to forget about your skin woes. It also may broaden your skillset and land you a better job or something. Knowledge is never a bad thing, right?

GL