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Discouraged. Feeling Hopeless.

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#1 cl1234

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 10:55 AM

Sorry, I know there are a lot of these posts. I just needed to vent. And maybe get a little bit of encouragement? I've been struggling with mild acne since around 15 years old. Around 15 years old is also when my self-esteem issues began. I was diagnosed with anorexia and BDD a short time later. My issues with acne always came second to my obsession with weight. However, now at age 20 they both seem to consume my life an equal amount. Within the last year my acne has gotten slightly worse, I would now consider it moderate most days and mild on others. I have been through 3 dermatologists within the last 5 years. I started on Differin and Minocycline. August of 2011 ( last year) I saw my second one since I felt the differin and minocycline weren't doing much. I was put on retin a micro, aczone, and doxycycline. I also tried Yaz, however didn't like the way it made me feel. I started at a new dermatologist this january (a month ago tomorrow). I am now on Spironolactone, retin a micro and aczone still, and switched the 100mg of doxycycline to 150mg doryx. I started on 50mg of the spiro and have been taking 100mg for a couple days now. I have been a healthy weight for a while now, however my struggle with acne only tends to trigger the ED. Plus, I feel my acne obsession is heightened even more due to BDD. I rarely hangout with friends. I only go to classes I NEED to go to (I'm a college student). And on days I work it takes a lot of self talk to get me going. I hate going into stores even because I feel like people are staring at my face. I have ruined my relationship because I kept making excuses of why I couldn't hangout with my boyfriend. The real reason was because I hated how I looked. I'm tired of how much this consumes my life. I just want clear skin. I feel hopeless. I feel like I've tried everything. Somedays, like today, I feel like I'm going to be stuck with acne forever. I've heard promising things about Spiro and I know I've only been on it one month and it takes time. I just woke up today and looked at myself and started crying. Just once I would like to wake and and WANT to look in the mirror and WANT to go out into the world.

#2 younnn

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 11:49 AM

I know how you feel. I feel the same way, you just think of all the things you would do if you had clear skin. Feel like you would be the most obnoxious person ever:) But it will happen, don't doubt yourself.

As for tips, i'd tell you to take Supplements such as: Psyllium Husks as a Fiber source, and Probiotics, and Multivitamins everyday. This will cleanse the toxic build up in your gut. In most cases the cause of acne is due to bacteria Build up. Cleanse your body, your body will take care of you. I only recently started doing this regimen and its working pretty good.

Keep your head up

Most important step in the process of defeating Acne, KNOW THE ROOT CAUSE OF YOUR SPECIFIC PROBLEM.


#3 HapaMommy

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 12:07 PM

Hang in there. You're treating your acne and once you find what works for you it will go away. Worst case scenario is Accutane which seems to work on the most severe acne. Just a question, how long were you on Yaz before you stopped? I am prone to side effects and each time I got on the pill it takes a month or two to get used to it and it I didn't like it afterward I would switch to find one that was better suited for me. I remained nearly 100% clear when on Ortho-Cept and then Yasmin.

You attacked your weight problem and now you just need to overcome the acne hurdle. There's always something we need to battle but you do need friends ad support. I struggle with mild acne since I was 13 and then eczema at 22 and now I have folliculitis for about a year. I'm lucky to have a supportive husband and two friends that are moderate acne sufferers to talk to. I'm in excellent shape after having two kids and weight seems to be all my friends obsess about so i can't talk about my skin My skin looks great but I do have a couple of spots PIH from the folliculitis which is fading with Differin and microderm treatments. I do have a patch of folliculitis on my back which is healing now. I keep it covered so my friends don't see it. I'm lucky my husband understands I'm battling this and doesn't care or and honestly, doesn't notice it. But for me I'm self conscious about it and the PIH on my face I feel as if it's al my friends see when they talk to me. When I talked to my friends with acne they are the same way. They feel like their flaws are all the people see but we determined that we all worry so much about what people think about our own skin we don't notice the skin flaws that much on others.

I think you really need to find friends and supports here and on the outside. Chances are your acne is not as bad as you think and I'm sure you'll find people who will see in you something other than acne. I understand it is difficult to talk about your skin but it does help. Like I said I find talking to my two friends about our skin problems is therapeutic. :) Good luck!
My Regimen

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Cetaphil Daily Cleanser or M2 Exfoliating Cleanser with Clarisonic brush
Elta MD UV Facial moisiturizer

PM
Cetaphil Daily Cleanser or M2 Exfoliating Cleanser w/o Clarisonic brush
Elta MD UV Facial moisturizer w/ Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream


FOR FOLLICULITIS & ECZEMA
Triamcimolone as needed
Ketoconazole 2% Cream (spot treatment only) twice daily
Clarifoam once daily
Noble Soap everytime I shower


PHASING OUT
Differin 0.3% (spot treatment only)

#4 cl1234

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 03:44 PM

younnn- thanks for the encouragement and the supplement tips! I have always taken multivitamins up until the last couple weeks because I heard that it could lessen the effects of the Doryx. Does anyone know if this is true?

HapaMommy- I was only on Yaz for about six weeks. I'm not sure if it was bad timing or the Yaz but I fell into a pretty bad depression and ended up having to withdrawl from classes last semester. I quit taking it which helped my moods and am back on track with school. Again, I'm not sure if it was the Yaz or not. I went in with a VERY open mind because at this point I will try ANYTHING to get rid of acne. If you have any other recommendations on BC or trying Yaz again please let me know! My issues with body image and weight make me very wary of birth control for fear of gaining weight. I must say I am thankful to have good,close friends that I know love me for me. It's hard for me to be around them still because I don't love myself. It's like that saying "You can't love someone until you love yourself". Also, none of my friends have any issues with acne. I'm more open about my issues with family which is extremely helpful. So far this site has also been very helpful. I'm glad I decided to join and post. I'm so glad to hear you have won your battle and have such an amazing support team. And thank you for the words of wisdom. :)

#5 BriGriff

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Posted 15 February 2012 - 07:12 PM

Hey I just came across your post and it's actually kind of scary how much I can relate. I also have been struggling with acne since around 15 ( I'm now 21). I've gone through tons of medications and I have yet to find the right one for me. I definitely know what you mean about acne sometimes bringing back your ED. A couple years ago I gained a lot (or what I thought was a lot) of weight while I was traveling and struggling to be like my friends I started to starve myself. I was never diagnosed with anorexia because I didn't let it get that far but I find that when my acne gets worse I tend to stop eating because I figure if I'm skinnier then people won't notice my acne as much (weird I know). And now I have started using differin and yasmin which is scary cause I have heard yasmin can make you gain weight, mood swings etc Which doesn't help because I'm still dealing with depression. I know it's hard to deal with acne and you think that it will never go away but you sometimes just have to forget. To help me I tend to avoid mirrors throughout the day (other then morning and night when I do my regime) it helps me forget! I find the only times I get upset are morning and night. You also can't let acne take control of your life! I know it may be hard but you have to get out as much as you can. Do anything to help take your mind off it! I find that exercise helps me feel so much better! If you feel upset just go for a walk or talk to a family member about how your feeling! I start uni in 2 weeks which is terrifying for me cause I have to face so many people again ( I've moved to a new country recently) and I know I might be broken out but at this point in my life I don't really care about how my skin is looking because I know how much time I have wasted worrying about it and I don't want to care anymore! I hope your new prescriptions work! Don't be discouraged if they are not the results you want quickly because it takes time to see results (even if it sucks). I hope I helped a little and just know your not the only one who feels like that Posted Image

Hope you feel better!!

#6 HapaMommy

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Posted 15 February 2012 - 08:34 PM

Oh goodness! I am so sorry. Yes, the pills affect your mood and if you have a preexisting condition it could worsen it. My sister suffers from depression and anxiety so she never took the pill either. Does your dermatologist do acne facials? My friend has severe acne and she does monthly acne facials to prevent outbreaks since it's now under control. I mean in high school her skin was bad. She had hormonal issues and had to go not he pill (otherwise she would have a period for 3-4 weeks straight). Her acne at first was moderate on her cheeks, cystic and left scars. When she began the pill it caused the acne to spread to the rest of her face. She looks amazing now and other than the scarring her skin looks perfect!
My Regimen

AM
Cetaphil Daily Cleanser or M2 Exfoliating Cleanser with Clarisonic brush
Elta MD UV Facial moisiturizer

PM
Cetaphil Daily Cleanser or M2 Exfoliating Cleanser w/o Clarisonic brush
Elta MD UV Facial moisturizer w/ Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream


FOR FOLLICULITIS & ECZEMA
Triamcimolone as needed
Ketoconazole 2% Cream (spot treatment only) twice daily
Clarifoam once daily
Noble Soap everytime I shower


PHASING OUT
Differin 0.3% (spot treatment only)

#7 TheMedic

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Posted 15 February 2012 - 11:13 PM

Okay I suffer from constant obsessions and worry as well. When the brain is wired to worst case scenario, then any little hickup in daily existence in the body can send the mind into a spiral of fear, depression, anger ect. If you've ever found yourself feeling fine, and then you get a pain somewhere and an itch, and before you know it you're obsessing about having cancer then there is something up with your mind. That's not to say, 'its all in your head' because sooner or later science will see that 'all in your head' is actually a very convienient tool for egomaniacs to use when they don't know whats going on in the hardware of the body. Doctors commonly resort to psychiatric diagnosis because their instruments cant measure anything wrong, and their all crazy enough to believe that they have a perfect system with perfect instruments and they have covered all their bases. It seems almost monthly were reading articles about medicine that proves this psychosis, where one thing they thought was true ended up being...not true, or half truth. Remember they were preaching to the grave that ulcers were caused by stress. Remember they were dismissing any link between food and acne. Remember they were telling all these kids they needed medication before they even understood what this medication could do, and then schools started getting shot up. This is a very good example of a society that looks at its current official scientific literature as be all and end all, when there is still another hundred years, or two hundred years of work to be done. Not just medical work, but political work, financial work, justice work there's a lot more disrupting science than just ignorance. But this is kind of like asking your kid to go clean the dishes, and they tell you there are no dishes but they didn't even check the whole kitchen and see that pile behind everything else.

Anywhom, you need to treat the obsessions which MAY be able to be helped by high dose Inositol, or medications geared towards OCD. Of course talk to your doctor and try and emphasize that you want to treat your problem very carefully and dont want to use a medication you cant get off of. Something like Seroquel, try and stay the hell away from that stuff.

#8 Ashley Elizabeth Sego

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 11:46 AM

It seems hard right now, I know. But I will keep this short and painless for you:
Those feelings you are dealing with right now? They will be in the past, and they will get better.
I won't give you my life story, but I can tell you I have dealt with pain before. It hurts, I know this.
But, if you can think of the future, and of someone you love, someone who cares about you too... you will feel much better. <3

People who are worth your time will love you for who you are, not what is one the outside.
It's true.