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Acne Holding Me Back

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#1 rcedillo4

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 09:25 PM

Hi guys,

I have been self-reflecting for a while and it really dawned on me how much my acne was holding me back. A bit about me: 25 yrs old and have had acne for about 9 years now. I became so self conscious that I started puting make-up on my marks. I try very hard to make it seem like I don't have any on so its a real drag. People have even accused me of being gay because of it. Its very embarrassing. I've only had one serious relationship but I was fortunate. She was very beautiful. Had some acne herself but nothing more than some spots. It has become hard for me to get close to someone because I always think they see my acne rather than beyond it. Also going out with friends has become non-existance. Job searching is probably the worse. Its difficult to put my best foot forward in a job interview when that thought creeps up "I hope he/she is not staring at my acne". Acne really feels like an anchor weighing me down. Has anyone else felt this way?

#2 teahbaby

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 10:31 PM

not a guy but know this feeling. i recently got laid off my job and i hate searching for a new job because i feel so self conscious about my face! i still havent found a solution and its been a while :( I rarely go out with friends unless its like an event i cant miss.

anyways, i hope things get better for you. this feeling isn't good but you have to stay positive!!

#3 PaulH85

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 10:04 AM

It's tough if you let your acne dictate things. The more you allow it to dictate and the longer you let that continue, the tougher it seems to be to get out of that mentality because it kind of spirals. I pretty much stopped living for thirteen years. I suffered through verbal and physical abuse in school for five years because of my acne, then I essentially hid away for three years after that. I finally went out and got a job which lasted almost five years but I felt like I was holding onto it most of the time. The anxieties and insecurities eventually got the better of me last year and my actions at work in an attempt to cover up my problems got me fired. Five or six months of therapy bring me to the present day - no job, no prospects, no social circle, no confidence. It doesn't feel like there's a whole lot left to lose to be honest.

But, I've come to realise something and that is what's kept me going through a period I didn't particularly want to see out. The lack of all those things mean I could essentially start anew. The past is the past so I might as well work out who I want to be and learn to become that person. That's all we can do. We're only here for a period of time. I know all too well about time and the fact that it passes really hits home when I consider that the years I've struggled through and tolerated outnumber the years I've enjoyed.

I'll openly admit that it was quite a shock when I reflected on things and realised just how much I've allowed acne to hold me back and how much doing so has cost me. When I cleared my acne for a while last year, all these other problems were of course still in place and I realised that I should have just worked on my confidence and got out there regardless of my skin. I virtually had a breakdown because it hit me that I had no clue how to be confident, enjoy things, be happy, make friends and create opportunities. It hit me that I'd never worked on those things because I'd always shied away from them due to acne. So, you're not on your own. That clear period turned out to be temporary but almost twelve months later and I'm back on track. My skin's better than it's been for years. This time around, I'm more relaxed about it as I'm aware that the other things are separate issues that I'm just going to have to put effort and time into working on.

The main thing to remember is that the acne itself is not holding you back. Rather, you are allowing it to. Time to work out what you need to do to take back control. Regardless of the time that's passed, it's never to late to start living and enjoying life. That's what it's for!

Posted Image

Thoughts become words
Words become actions
Actions become habits
Habits become character
Character becomes destiny
It is time to change my destiny

 

You look like a guy I banged once.


#4 rcedillo4

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 12:20 PM

Thanks guys! Teahbaby, I hope you find work as well. Its not as simple as to find a job nowadays. PaulH85, you are absolutely right. Have you thought about being a counselor? I think I will get clear before my 26th birthday and trust me, I will make up for lost time lol. Also PaulH85, you are clear. You have helped many people on this board. I hope you can be the man you want to be.

#5 PaulH85

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 12:43 PM

The only occasions I've thought that I should perhaps become a counselor have occurred when people here have asked me if I've ever thought about becoming a counselor. :lol: I like helping people and it's certainly a huge positive to be able to put my experiences with acne to good use, but beyond that, I can't really see myself doing something like that professionally. Still, never know...

Thoughts become words
Words become actions
Actions become habits
Habits become character
Character becomes destiny
It is time to change my destiny

 

You look like a guy I banged once.


#6 harleyquinn1801

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 02:02 AM

The only occasions I've thought that I should perhaps become a counselor have occurred when people here have asked me if I've ever thought about becoming a counselor. Posted Image I like helping people and it's certainly a huge positive to be able to put my experiences with acne to good use, but beyond that, I can't really see myself doing something like that professionally. Still, never know...


I feel like you should become a counselor, therapist, pyschiatrist, psychologist lol. Than again it would be kind of hypocritical in a sense. In person, I'm a great person when it comes to giving advice and helping people but than again, I can't even help myself. (I suffer from depression and anxiety since I was 15) But yeah, I've been reading alot of your posts in different threads and you're very insightful and bright. Posted Image

#7 PaulH85

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 05:59 AM

Yeah, I'd agree with that. Whatever I might have to say in terms of advice essentially comes down to suggesting that people do the opposite of what I've done for so long. Even though my acne's gotten so much better in recent months, I've seriously regressed in other areas and I feel rather cut off these days. Perfect example: I haven't had reason to go out for almost a week, just been sat at home. Nobody has been to the house, the phone hasn't rung, I haven't received a single text...
It's a vicious cycle because I've nowhere really to go, nowhere I want to go and nobody to go places with. But of course, that doesn't change unless I put myself out there and figure how to create opportunities, but doing so seems very scary. It's scary because I think back to the kind of reactions I'd get in my teens when my skin was a mess. Even though my skin's different now and it was all years ago, this need to protect myself from people in case they make fun of me or something is still there in my mind and my history with acne is at the root of that. Guess I need to find a way to move on and change. Feel pretty lost in that respect, don't even know where to begin.

Thoughts become words
Words become actions
Actions become habits
Habits become character
Character becomes destiny
It is time to change my destiny

 

You look like a guy I banged once.





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