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23 Year Old Female On 40Mg/day Braving The Accutane Sh*t Storm

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#1 Lydiajane

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 02:33 PM

Oooh, my face... what a lovely sense of humour you have! It's like you are perpetually playing little mind games with me and trying to convince me I'm crazy. Well, I DEFY YOU, MONSTER FACE.

Here's the long and short of my acne history:

I started getting acne, just little guys, when I was 13. It started getting to be a problem at age 15 and I would have between 5 - 8 zits at any given time. And when you already have braces and think two-tone corduroy pants are rad, it's just a bad combo.

I was put on Diane birth control at age 16 but it was WAY too strong for me (I was about 115 lbs, 5'5") and I would seriously only get my period for like 20 hours (which would have been awesome if I didn't spend the rest of the time vomiting into a bowl).
I switched onto Alesse 28 which I never really found helpful but i stayed on it anyway.

Then at 17 went on Retin-a micro topical and apparently became a total idiot because I also went to Mexico for a week.
WELL SEE YOU LATER TOP 3 LAYERS OF SKIN. Yup, I burnt my face so badly that I literally was losing layers of skin that you just aren't supposed to lose. Buuuuut.... my acne was gone...g-g-gone? fo' reals?

Yes, fo' reals.

Now that lasted about 2 years. BEST TWO YEARS EVAH! But then like the total idiot I apparently was, I went off Alesse, thinking that it had contributed nothing, and I suffered a massive breakout. And despite going back on Alesse, I couldn't shake it.
I cut my bangs straight across so no one could see my forehead acne (excellent! Now all I had to do was grow hair everywhere else on my face!) but I had some bad cysts on my chin. It was always the forehead and chin with me. Jerks.
I used topical treatments that worked a little and then stopped, etc., and my skin did get a bit better overtime simply from being on Alesse. Really, my skin wasn't that bad at all. It would never have served as a deterrent for attracting a guy, and if you saw me with makeup, you probably wouldn't really notice unless you were a biotch.

But OH I'M NOT EFFING PERFECT (I must have thought) because I continued testing the waters with a billion products and you know what happened? They friggin ruined my skin. No offense to Dan, but his regimen made me break out not only where I usually do, but also ALL OVER MY CHEEKS. I was horrified. It reminded me of when I woke up from jaw surgery and saw myself in the mirror for the first time and couldn't stop laughing at the overinflated ape-woman looking back at me. This may have been affected by all the morphine I was on, but my point is that I looked so bad that it was almost surreal. And even after going off the regimen my skin wouldn't get better.

And that's what lead me here to Accutane. It had actually been suggested to me by my dermatologist when I was 16 and breaking out, but my overbearing mother (she means well) had bluntly said 'no' due to the potential side-effects. I should probably mention that basically everyone on my mom's side of the family has dealt with severe depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and dressing goth (well, only one went temporarily goth, but it was scary enough to note) so her fears were relatively well-founded. I myself have dealt with anxiety disorders since then, so maybe that was a smart move.

But 65 days ago I went to the walk-in clinic and got my first prescription for Accutane. I found it odd that it was so easy to obtain, maybe it's because I'm Canadian, as everyone talks about how much of a hassle is. I literally rolled off my couch, strolled down the street and told some random doctor I'd never met that I wanted to be on it. He took one look at my face and said, "It's time." What a dillhole.

He only put me on 20mg per day to start which is pretty darn low. But from what I'd read about high doses of Accutane, they weren't fun and could cause things like liver malfunction, Crohn's disease, and leprosy (I made that last one up, but I wouldn't be shocked to see it listed). Well, I broke out like a mofo and everything I had on my face multiplied like those crazy brooms in the beginning of Fantasia. I went from looking basically human (debatable) to looking like the poster-girl for Rejection Hotline.
After 2 months on 20mg I was bumped up to 40mg, by another random doctor I had never met, because clearly the first 2 months had only served as a fun experiment to worsen my situation. The problem seems to be that I can't get in to see a dermatologist until the end of February and I'm not about to just wait that out. I have a life (sort of).

So that's where I am now. I have acne all over my face after 2 months on 20 mg, and 6 days on 40 mg. Hoping for the best, but from what I've seen from other people, their acne sucked before Accutane, they had a little friendly IB near the beginning, and then started clearing up insane amounts. I, however, like to live outside the realm on what is considered 'normal' and just break out consistently until, in the year 2040, I will murder my more beautiful clone and steal her skin. Foolproof! :D

I'll post some pictures when I can, but only if you promise not to weep on my behalf, HMMmmmkay?
Lydiajane

These violent delights have violent ends

#2 joannarama

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 09:38 AM

Hi Lydiajane :) Just wondering how you are getting on now, since it was about a month ago you posted this? Hopefully things have cleared up a lot for you... J x
Roaccutane Log

Month 1: 30mg
Month 2: 60mg
Month 3: 60mg
Month 4: 60mg

Daily Regimen

Face: Cetaphil Cleanser and Moisturiser, Botanics Organic Face Scrub (gently once per week)
Body: Body Shop Cocoa Shower Gel, Body Shop Cocoa Exfoliator (gently once per week), Palmers Firming Cocoa Butter
Hands: E45 Hand Cream
Lips: Aquaphor, Blisteze Intensive Lip Moisturiser
Hair: E45 Scalp Shampoo, Bumble & Bumble Super Rich Conditioner, olive oil hair masks
Eyes: artificial tears (prescribed)

#3 Nickftw

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Posted 11 March 2012 - 09:34 AM

Hang in there! You will overcome this!!!

#4 Lydiajane

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Posted 13 March 2012 - 12:39 AM

Hello all! I guess It's time for me to report back about my progress...
That's right. I said 'progress.'
Which means my face IS SO MUCH BETTER #holycrapholycrapholycrap
I have about 4 actives, and only one of them is bad. He's just this beast of a zit that i barely even consider a zit. He's basically human at this point.
I shall call him, "Beowulf."
Anyway, my face also isn't a giant red tomato anymore, which is nice.
Everything is smoothing out and looking good! I'm just over a week into my third month.

On a side note, I went and saw the dermatologist for the FIRST time the other day.
Some of you are probably like, "Wait... how are you on accutane...you just saw...I don't...how..."
Well I got my accutane through a GP, not a derm. Especially for you Americans, that might be a bit baffling. And to be quite honest, it is to me too, but he was so cavalier about prescribing it to me that I never questioned whether or not he was "supposed" to.
Anyway, so I go in to see the derm, Dr. Gray, on Friday morning and I'm all giddy about finally seeing him and asking all my bizarre questions. My appointment is at 11:10am and I don't actually get to see him until 12:00, I sh** you not. I was just sitting in that waiting room for an hour flipping through last December's issue of McLean's magazine, contemplating the likelihood of getting a parking ticket.
So he strolls on in like he's f*&%ing P-diddy or something and starts berating me for the fact that I had a GP put me on accutane. He literally made me cry at one point. He just kept saying I did everything wrong, I could have harmed my liver, I should have known better, I would be further along by now, blahblahblah.
Basically I hate him. I hope that one day, he'll be walking down the street and step in what he BELIEVES to be a puddle, but is IN FACT an overflowing manhole. And then he falls in up to his neck and I laugh and laugh and somehow am present to witness it.

Oh and btw, fresh lemon juice as toner works wonders for red marks!
Lydiajane

These violent delights have violent ends

#5 Guest_*Spiro*_*

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 02:12 PM

Hello all! I guess It's time for me to report back about my progress...
That's right. I said 'progress.'
Which means my face IS SO MUCH BETTER #holycrapholycrapholycrap
I have about 4 actives, and only one of them is bad. He's just this beast of a zit that i barely even consider a zit. He's basically human at this point.
I shall call him, "Beowulf."
Anyway, my face also isn't a giant red tomato anymore, which is nice.
Everything is smoothing out and looking good! I'm just over a week into my third month.

On a side note, I went and saw the dermatologist for the FIRST time the other day.
Some of you are probably like, "Wait... how are you on accutane...you just saw...I don't...how..."
Well I got my accutane through a GP, not a derm. Especially for you Americans, that might be a bit baffling. And to be quite honest, it is to me too, but he was so cavalier about prescribing it to me that I never questioned whether or not he was "supposed" to.
Anyway, so I go in to see the derm, Dr. Gray, on Friday morning and I'm all giddy about finally seeing him and asking all my bizarre questions. My appointment is at 11:10am and I don't actually get to see him until 12:00, I sh** you not. I was just sitting in that waiting room for an hour flipping through last December's issue of McLean's magazine, contemplating the likelihood of getting a parking ticket.
So he strolls on in like he's f*&%ing P-diddy or something and starts berating me for the fact that I had a GP put me on accutane. He literally made me cry at one point. He just kept saying I did everything wrong, I could have harmed my liver, I should have known better, I would be further along by now, blahblahblah.
Basically I hate him. I hope that one day, he'll be walking down the street and step in what he BELIEVES to be a puddle, but is IN FACT an overflowing manhole. And then he falls in up to his neck and I laugh and laugh and somehow am present to witness it.

Oh and btw, fresh lemon juice as toner works wonders for red marks!


What a asshole! If anything he should call the GP who prescribed it and speak his mind..
Did he continue to prescribe it to you?

#6 Lydiajane

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 05:46 PM

Hey all! So I went to see the derm again today, despite my initial hesitations.
Bad news: He's still a dick.
Worse news: He wants me OFF ACCUTANE
Good News: ... I dunno, it's kinda sunny out?

Apparently my liver function is a little high (32 instead of 30) and he wants me to stop taking Accutane for at least a MONTH.
No. No. nonononononono.
I actually refuse this request. I know it sounds like it's not a big deal, but I JUST stopped breaking out completely maybe a week ago, and I am horrified by the scars I am left with. He is basically suggesting I chance it with another round of cystic acne and see where that takes me!
He actually prescribed me a topical treatment! WOW. SO EFFECTIVE. NEVER THOUGHT TO TRY SUCH A MIRACLE PRODUCT.
I literally just can't deal with another break out. Like I emotionally, mentally, physically cannot. So I refuse to. I even went to get a second opinion on my blood work from my GP, and he said that it was pretty standard for being on Accutane and nothing to worry about.
I am just exhausted from having acne. I care about my liver, but I'm sorry my face is just exponentially more important. Anyone that has the kind of face-altering, life-crippling kind of acne I have would understand.
Lydiajane

These violent delights have violent ends

#7 Guest_*Spiro*_*

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 09:03 PM

I'm sorry to hear that! Can you get in to see a less dickish dermatologist? Seems like this guy is just against the accutane period. I'd keep seeing new people intell you get what you need.

#8 Lydiajane

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Posted 23 April 2012 - 07:38 PM

I tried to get in to see a different derm but the waiting list is NINE MONTHS! And that is the shortest one! The other one was TWO YEARS!
And the rest just aren't even accepting new patients.
I'm just going through the GP now. It doesn't seem to be a big deal. I still get my blood work done and go for check ups, he's just not a specialist.
I basically have no active acne now Posted Image I still have lots of red marks, but they are definitely fading fast. The GP told me to not use anything that reduces scarring because it will interfere with the Accutane trying to do it's job (since Accutane is an irritant, you don't want to use an anti-irritant).

But I did the most incredibly stupid thing the other day...

I had some very flaky skin on my chin and rather than just adding moisturizer... i lightly rubbed it off with a wash cloth... so lightly... so lightly that when I finished I didn't understand how I managed to take off several layers of skin. My face was bleeding and I have a massive scab across my chin!
Let that be a lesson to you, boys and girls. DO NOT EXFOLIATE WHILE ON ACCUTANE. A massive scab will ALWAYS look worse than a couple dry patches.

Edited by Lydiajane, 07 May 2012 - 03:15 PM.

Lydiajane

These violent delights have violent ends