I want clear skin because beauty is associated with health in our society, and it is therefore a way to help you be successful in society. Do I agree with this view? Not necessarily. Outward appearance isn't a sign of good health. I know some clear skinned people who are eating fast food on what seems to be a daily basis and I can only begin to imagine what this has done to their interior health. Then you have people like me with acne who have done everything from these detox diets to vegan hell and we still have terrible skin. Regardless, society still says the clear skinned person who eats unhealthily is better. This is just reality. In western society, this seems to have carried on from the Ancient Greeks who placed an enormous amount of emphasis on looking perfect.
Your avatar? I used to work there. It didn't last long because I ended up quitting over my acne. You have to be so personal with the customers there and I couldn't stand the thought of trying to be chatty with people when my face looked terrible. The fact that most of my partners had perfect skin didn't make me feel any better. It just distracted me from being able to do my job properly. If I had clear skin, I'd probably still be working there part time (and it is a great place to work) and having the time of my life in college. But I'm not because I have let my non-clear skin affect me way too much.
It sucks, its hard, its not easy, and makes you wana just dig a hole and crawl in. Believe me i know all to well. Yesterday i went to work knowing i looked like shit because retin-a made my face very irritated and it didnt help that my regimen is pretty harsh.Unfortunately, i didnt know how bad it was until i got home that night. I felt terrible because i had been to the clinic to pick patients up and had guests visiting their parents. It was a horrible feeling knowing that i looked like shit for lack of a better word. But that was yesterday and i have to move forward. So do you.
Last fall was the first time in the whole time i've worked their (4 years) that a patient actually asked what was wrong with my face [they did so because i had a really bad breakout then].It was almost heartbreaking and i couldn't answer truthfully. I ended up slipping away and not talking as much for months, i left work saying i was sick repeatedly. I got off easy because i had an excuse: my parents were getting a divorce and there was alot of fighting.
I somewhat am bouncing back, but because of all that i and you as well cannot let that run your life or prevent you from accomplishing goals or doing what you like or even must do. You cannot let it dictate your life. For me i love my job and so i use my love to conquer that evil so to speak that would prevent me from even leaving the house. You have to find something you like or want then go for it as something to combat that negativeness about feeling the way you do about the way you look. There are good people out there like the people i work with who know i do a great job and do not ever judge me based on my looks. My patients are counting on me to do my job. On an evening shift i have to take care of 23 people[ nights/noc shift is 46]. I cannot let what i look like prevent me from doing my job which is a big responsibility. I sort of create a mental block if you will and try not to let it bother me. I cannot let my looks prevent me from interacting w/ my patients as it is my job to do so and lemme tell you old ladies love to chat and especially to a male. WHen you show that your there for them, they in return show they care for you regardless of looks.
The right people know and dont care about whats on the outside.
In my rambling which is going nowhere all i can say is please seek help, please do not let it run you/run you down that far. As i tell my patients, i might not have the right answer, or even an answer for that matter but i am a great listener. I am here for you.
Edited by k3tchup, 11 February 2012 - 03:06 PM.