106 replies to this topic

[jr0615]

I want to have clear skin because i want to be confident, and i dont want to be worrying about my face 24/7 in stead i could be worried about school and because of acne im slacking in school.

[Natashagirl]

Okay, in other words what opportunities in life have you missed because of acne? Does acne hold us back from success,joy and happiness? I asked why do we want to get clear,in order to know what does acne hold us back from. Actually we CAN have that all with or without acne,if we are able to set ourselves free from our own insecurities and anxieties.
I'm personally one of those emotional victims of acne. When I realized how many opportunities I've missed just becoz of acne and my low self-esteem I felt sorry for myself. We should not let it control our mind and life. We MUST NOT let it bring us down. I know easier said that done, but otherwise we're just wasting our time on this earth, we are just wastin' our youth. And as ironicly it sounds, the more I think about acne, the worse it gets. Here is the list of opportunities that I've missed becoz of acne, but mainly becoz of my own insecurities:
1. Makin' convo with a wonderful guy from my college
2. Performing better in my speech class
3. Hold myself confident in public
4. Being afriad to go to job interview becoz of the way my skin looks.
5. Living my life for 100%. Enjoy every single day of it,instead of locking myself in my room and isolating from pple.
6. Making excuses in order to hide myself again, missing parties,family gatherings and not going out with friends.
7. And the most important, not loving myself just the way I am,becoz I have acne.

What are your missed opportunities?

Edited by Natashagirl, 01 November 2011 - 09:23 PM.

[PaulH85]

I reckon anyone who hasn't quite been strong enough to make the most of things and just enjoy life despite their things would list very similar and perhaps identical things as you, Natasha.

I know that the biggest impact on me was the realisation that I'd actually stopped myself from experiencing pretty much everything - enjoying life, being happy, loving myself, having friends, meeting girls, and so on - for exactly half my life. All that time was wasted and I'll never get it back. Added to that is the feeling I get of being left so far behind and feeling inferior as a result.

I certainly think that I went through some kind of grieving process when I got closer to 26, marking 13 years since all this started for me. That triggered depression and some pretty negative and harmful feelings and I totally lost my way. Still here though so might as well battle on and win the war. Even as my skin gets better and better all the time now, the feelings seem to get worse because there's less and less to hide behind and less acne which I can use, essentially as a crutch, in order to avoid the fear of these experiences which many people seem to have had long ago.

Facing up to it is the hardest part I suppose. Once that's out of the way, it's then all about learning new thought processes and new behaviours, ignoring the fears and the doubts, and giving yourself positive messages until they become habit instead. The fact that people have done this, and the fact that we have plenty of people here who live happy and fulfilling lives with partners and so on, despite acne, prove that it can be done if you have the right attitude and that we can learn to do it too.

Edited by PaulH85, 02 November 2011 - 06:36 AM.

[amy91]

Paul, I'm glad to hear that ur getting clear, but why doesn't it make you more confident? What does still hold u back? For example, when my skin gets better, I feel like I can do whatever I want, I can talk to anyone and be social,confident and etc. But as soon as I get new pimples-I close myself in and don't wanna even leave the house.

[PaulH85]

To be honest Amy, it's because it makes me see that my skin isn't the biggest problem and it shows me where I've gone wrong all this time.
The issue is a lack of experience in things and a lack of friendships. I shut myself off from people years ago when my skin was first bad, was totally off the radar for about three years. Since then, I never really regained any confidence, haven't had anyone to hang out with and I've no friends to call on so I don't really have much to do in terms of things which could help me build up my confidence around others.

I just feel like I get left behind sometimes. I mean, there are people maybe eight years younger than me who have social circles and go places with their friends, they have partners and all that kind of thing. I've never had that and have no experience of being in a relationship. Never put myself out there and I feel like I don't know how. Seems scary having to go it alone as well.

So the more my skin clears, the more it becomes so obvious that my skin wasn't the biggest problem, it was just the initial cause.
I'm working on it though, I started group therapy sessions today and the first one was good. I don't suppose it will turn me into a totally new person or anything magical, but if I can start to learn a few things, build up a bit of confidence and some social skills, I can take it from there and see where it leads.

Edited by PaulH85, 02 November 2011 - 03:35 PM.

[amy91]

Good luck, Paul, u seem to be such a nice person. I hope things will get better for you as soon as possible. Watch some motivating movies and do research about inspirational reading (psychological articles), they helped a lot, when I was looking for my lost self-esteem. You can even write down the quotes or ideas you like from there. Seems to be an emotional recovery time!

Edited by amy91, 02 November 2011 - 05:27 PM.

[lovingilacs]

I want clear skin
For the sake of my happiness
I've lost faith and much more because of acne
I want to be confident
I want people to not stare at my skin
I want to not have acne on my mind 24/7
I want to be more free
I want to get out of his depressed hole I'm in
I want to talk to my friends again and not avoid people just because of my ACNE
I don't want to think I'm vain because I care so much about my stupid skin
So many more .... I just cant handle acne no more.

Edited by Kaylei, 28 December 2011 - 04:59 PM.

[siannaay]

I want to have clear skin because I want to be able to feel fresh and clean. I find acne makes me feel dirty and gross inside and out. Of course, being a teenage girl, I also want to have clear skin so I can look pretty. People tend to look at me and cringe when they see my skin. It hurts! I also want to stop wearing so much makeup. I want to feel free in my own skin. The insecurity within me will be gone once my skin is how I want it to be. I'm waiting for that day.

I read above that someone wanted a boyfriend? Girl, you don't need to have clear skin to have a boyfriend! I've got one and he's the sweetest ever. Don't worry about it, the right guy will come. You just wait.

[jkitty03]

Having clear skin will make me feel I'm normal. Will not make me insecure. Will not make me afraid to face people. Will stop these hateful words I say to myself.

[MJRI94]

Acne is always lurking in the back of my mind in some way or another, sometimes its gets to me badly, sometimes it doesn't.
I try to focus on it not getting me down because it truly is horrible when it does make you feel low.
Having clear skin would give me peace of mind and to be honest, my life wouldn't have been be half as stressful this past year if I didn't have acne.

So thats the main reason for me, to rule out the paranoia I get from acne and all the other negative thoughts and feelings that come along with it. I don't think my acne will clear up for a good while yet, so I don't want to be wishing for clear skin but it is interesting to think about what if I did have clear skin, would I be that much different?
Maybe I would take more risks, be more confident but who knows, we all just have to plow on I guess

[ilyking]

simply to regain my old smooth skin complexion and to boost self-esteem. I have hundreds of miniature blackheads which makes me appear dark when I am actually a shade of light brown, I've been called 'blick' and 'ugly' by my cousins/people at college and it really gets me down... I want to reverse this so badly

I remember when I used to be one of the most popular guys, I couldn't walk a few meters without having to speak to someone. But now I am a complete recluse, hiding away from society in front of a screen for 2 years...

[dmb41]

A lot of people want to be more confident, me being one of them. What I'm starting to learn, and look forward to: If you can grow to be confident (despite your acne, I know it's difficult, I'm still not there), but if you can become confident with acne, imagine what you can accomplish when your skin is clear.

[beautifuldoll]

i don't even know anymore to be honest

[Robert_NL]

The question made me think of why I want clear skin, I guess it essentially comes down to my own feeling. I want to be clear so that I wake up in the morning, take a shower en put my clothes on and go outside. Now I wake up, take a shower, pat my face dry and apply BP, wait 15 minutes, apply moisterizer and stare in the mirror and feel bad and insecure.

I'm going to college and I have a pretty good job, I also have a lot of money for my age. The things I don't have are friends, a relation and self esteem. Acne isn't responsible for all bad things, but it is responsible for killing my self confidende and if I'm ever going to be clean than I can rebuild my confidence and eventually get (new) friends and possibly a girl friend (but that isn't really neccesary).

[ghs10]

Well, why do I want clear skin? For many reasons.

• I want to be able to have my picture taken without worrying about my acne
• i want to be able to go out and be seen by people
• pretty, that's a major one
• have people stop staring at my acne for once and start looking at ME. I get made fun of a lot, getting called "pizza face" and whatever, and it's truly tough. If i had clear skin, I could prove to people that that's not who i really was, and that acne didn't label me as a person
• for my parents and siblings - they're embarrassed to be seen with me sometimes

i could go on forever about why i want to have clear skin, but really, i don't want to bring my self-esteem to an all time low.

[guillotineSavvy]

A) I make costumes for comic book conventions, and I hate looking like a stereotypical nerd with acne, especially since at those kind of events, people take your picture all day long, and a few of them are really outspoken and rude.

B) I just want to feel clean. We all know that cleanliness has little to do with acne, but the prejudice is so strong that it's hard to be perceived as a neat, professional person when your face is full of pimples.

C) Acne is pretty much my only insecurity about my appearance. I always think that when I clear up, I'll find something else to hate, but when I do have clear periods, I have so much confidence, and when I have breakouts, I just feel so, so low.

D) I feel really cheated that I have to deal with it, when nobody that I'm friends with does. It's so unfair that we have to spend hours in front of the mirror, trying the cake on the make-up, or constantly be explaining to people that no, we don't want their Proactiv. Its more normalcy than attractiveness that I want for my skin.

[19drei19]

im outgoing in nature and as a child.i want to bring that back i feel like i was sentenced to 5 years in prison hopefully it wont be 6,,

i want to have more confidence this is the only thing holding me back from everything

God help me

[makethatchange]

I'm surprised nobody mentions actual pain. I want clear skin because it's painful to have acne! ugh especially cysts. It's really fun to wake up and 1st thing to do is squeezing a painful zit! Such fun. 2 days ago I was in pain all day because I popped a huge zit and it wouldn't stop bleeding. My whole face hurt just because of 1 lousy pimple . 3 months ago I had a zit (maybe it was a cyst) on my ear and I couldn't sleep on that side for weeks. Or how about when you have a zit almost on your lip or near your eye? Just...no thanks.

I can't relax around people, if I'm in pain...

And of course, clear skin is simply better looking and I feel better when I'm clear.

Edited by makethatchange, 04 January 2012 - 01:51 PM.

[somegirl0106]

I want clear skin for a lot of reasons

1) I was always bullied for being ugly even before I had acne, now I'm even worse. I just don't want to feel so ugly anymore.
2) So I can stop spending all my money on facial wash products and dermatologists appointment
3) So I can stop hearing ignorant suggestions from people to help clear my skin. Such as try proactiv or just wash with plain water it will go away or just relax you probably just have acne cause you're stressed out. I know they are trying to help, but it's annoying because I've already tried so many things and people act like I continue to have acne because I'm not doing anything to try to get rid of it.
4) So I can actually have a chance at getting a boyfriend. I'm 20 and I've never had one boyfriend and if I continue to have acne this bad I'm doubtful I ever will
5) So I can make friends easier. People always say personality is more important, but they've done studies showing the better looking you are the easier you will make friends and acne takes away from attractiveness unfortunately.
7) So I can stop wearing a thick layer of foundation on my face everyday, which takes a while to apply evenly and then comes off on all my clothing, and is not cheap at all.
8) Better job opportunities. I have a job now, but at my college they are always looking for attractive girls to be waitresses at the bars here. It's always seemed appealing to me getting to be a waitress and get tipped and the status of working there with all the pretty girls. Also seems like a better job to get a social life unlike my current job. But I wouldn't dare apply with all the acne on my face now.
9) So I can stop feeling different (inferior) because of my appearance. I've always had something that made me weird looking. Before I had acne I had extremely frizzy hair, weird bushy eyebrows, bags under my eyes, was extremely skinny. In the past couple years I've managed to fix most things. I got a hair straightener, learned how to tweeze my eyebrows, found some good makeup to cover my under eye circles, gained a little weight. But as soon as I get all that down, my face starts breaking out uncontrollably. Right in the middle of college when everyone has completely clear skin.
10) So I can focus on things that are more important without having to divide my energy between that and finding a way to get rid of my acne. I'm in college so I should be using all my energy to do well in school, making friends and stuff. But I spend way too much time and energy on my acne. It sucks.

Well that's pretty much all I can think of for now. Sorry for ranting lol.

Edited by somegirl0106, 12 January 2012 - 07:43 PM.

[Tyga]

Because I want to be free.