88 replies to this topic

[margox]

.....damn it....... still......................... and to make my day even more sadder, my 5 year old nephew made a comment about my skin......... it really hurt me......
......back to my Blackhole again.....

[vigin2011]

Yea Margox don tell me abt it.... I live in India , my uncle nd his family who live in the US came down to visit nd about 15 of his friends nd family members nd me were having dinner at a restaurant . I still remember what my uncles 11 year old kid commented on my skin amidst all the family members and friends. He said why does he(me) hav many insect bites on his face... There was an awkward silence for awhile nd den the entire group started to giggle at the little devils comment.... Ofcourse it was jus an innocent comment by a kid ...but the
timing nd the place of tat comment was soo hurtful.... It was one of those times in life while u just want to disappear into thin air...So wat m saying is I understand ur agony nd pain ... all of us acne sufferers from all around the globe go thru this in some point or the other(I am a
cystic acne sufferer for 7 years).... We r a family ... Nd if anyone from our acne family overcomes their acne nd finally gets clear skin.. Tats a sign of hope fr us sufferers nd the only motivation tat keeps us goin.... Take care.

[hopefaithlove]

I can relate to virtually everything that has been said on this thread. To margox, yes, there was a time when I wasn't really sure if I was living or not.

I had tried nearly everything--everything you could buy in a store, everything the doctor could prescribe, everything that was supposed to be a home remedy, even really expensive lasers. I want you to know that I was right where you are--crying all the time, avoiding talking to anyone, becoming obsessed with mirrors. The pain was incredible, and what made it worse was that it was a problem I did not want to draw attention to, so I didn't want to confide in anyone. How could I possibly talk to my friends about what was bothering me, when I was praying every day they would somehow fail to notice? How could anyone who has not experienced it ever begin to understand? Basically, I spent most of my time alone, wishing I could be alone, obsessing in front of a mirror, or praying for a miracle. Rationally, I knew that I needed to keep being social and think positively, but I know full well that it's easier said than done. Being alone was what I needed at the time, and it may not have been mentally healthy, but it was less painful than enduring the public. Remembering that intensely dark time right now brings me to tears, and it kills me to know that you're going through it right now.

There's one really important thing about dark times like that: they end. If you believe anything that people on here tell you, let it be this: it will come to an end. Someday, you will realize that you have made it to the other side, that you can go periods of time without thinking about your skin, that change has been made. I have no idea how long it will take; of course, it's different for anyone. People are quick to tell you what to try and what will "definitely work for you" because it worked for them, but if I've learned one thing, it's that everyone's solution is different.

So, my only advice for you is to not give up. Don't give up hope and don't give up trying new things. Consult your doctor/dermatologist, yes, but also recognize that you are the expert regarding your skin and you know what you have tried and what you haven't. You are the one who wakes up every day and goes straight for a mirror, you are the one who has inspected every inch of your face, and ultimately, you will be the one to find your solution.

For me, it just happened to be one of the last things I tried--a birth control pill (Tri-Sprintec). And just like that, within a month after starting the pill, I started to find my way again. I started to see that there was indeed an end in sight. It's still not perfect for me now, but I do know for certain that I am really "living." I certainly have scars that remind me of the past, which have become a battle of their own, but a more manageable battle.

I want you to know that you'll get there, too. In the meantime, I do recommend finding one person you can talk to...like, truly talk to. Maybe it's someone who you know will accept you no matter what, maybe it's someone who struggles with a similar problem, maybe it's a counselor. This was one thing that got me through the hellish time. Also, I know this sounds cheesy, but focus on your strengths. Take comfort in the parts of yourself (physical or otherwise) that you are content with.

I wish the best to ALL of you. Hang in there, because somehow, some way, it will get better.

[Howard2011Accutane]

Having acne makes you strong. Once it goes away and you try something like accutane...that severe breakout? Well. Once that goes away you come out a strong person with real confidence.

I suggest trying accutane. Get the tests/listen to the dr.

[margox]

......thanks guys........

hopefaithlove...you're absolutely right...... right now i'm in my own bubble, not talking to my friends, avoiding them........ it's just that i feel much more comfortable being alone rather than let my situation be out in the open..... my family has been very supportive (i've been talking to them recently).......

everyday still hoping and praying for a miracle.... i just wish that i would see some improvements......... it pains me to look at myself in the mirror so i try and avoid it (also makes me stop picking....)

Good Luck and God Bless to us all................. this site and you guys are also a part of my Family now................

[Lone_Wolf]

If it's severe convince ur dermatologist that u should go on accutane. washing ur face or creams won't help much if the acne is very severe.. cure it from the inside. I've seen ppl with very very severe acne and literally within 6months they are 90% clear if not completely clear.. if acne is hurting ur life this much, take affirmative action.. stay patient and don't give up hope. You will surely get ur life back soon. Take care and good luck

[emmylouise]

take aggressive treatment. Thats what i did. Vit a cream, the pill and antibiotics and several trips to the dermatologist. I am now on the road to recovery. I have mod-severe cystic acne. Painful, when i used to laught, or bite into a burger i could feel my cycsts aching. I cried every day, and i had numerous emotionally break downs. Dont give up, just think of this large comuunity of sufferers. I have decided to turn my acne into a blessing, i am so sensetive to ppl's conditions, i never say anything about anyones physical flaws. They dont need to be reminded. )

[margox]

take aggressive treatment. Thats what i did. Vit a cream, the pill and antibiotics and several trips to the dermatologist. I am now on the road to recovery. I have mod-severe cystic acne. Painful, when i used to laught, or bite into a burger i could feel my cycsts aching. I cried every day, and i had numerous emotionally break downs. Dont give up, just think of this large comuunity of sufferers. I have decided to turn my acne into a blessing, i am so sensetive to ppl's conditions, i never say anything about anyones physical flaws. They dont need to be reminded. )

.....absolutely correct................ i don't get it why people do that (commenting about how your face has gotten worse and everything).... don't they think that the people suffering from acne already know that?...and they don't know how much it hurts when they point out the obvious....... they don't know how it feels like......... wish people could be a little bit more sensitive of others' feelings and such....... especially when public humiliation is the Death of acne sufferers!

[cocobean]

hi margox, same, same and same situation. i have said so many times that i dont even wanna leave the house ...its so depressing, i find spraying the bathroom mirror with shaving foam helps if i am home all day so i dont have the reminder...also living in a face mask of sugar and green tea often stops me touching my face accidentally... i am about to start maca pills on the advice of a lovely girl on this site who has emailed me. i will let you know how it goes we have to keep trying ..i wish we all lived in a little town together so we could cry and wipe each others tears, its like no one else is ever going to understand, they just say, oh dont worry, its not that bad ... but they all have perfect skin nice to know theres some place we can go to see we are not alone, thats where i get my hope and strength, thanks you guys hi

[Marty92]

Unfortunately I know exactly how you feel. I've been struggling with acne for five years now and I really haven't made any significant progress. It's so depressing. My live is basically ruined. I have absolutely no self-confidence, I'm still a virgin and I'll be twenty in January. The main problem is that I'm running away from people 'cause my mind is so fucked up that all I can think of, when I talk to somebody, is my horrible face. I have missed five days of school last month just because I couldn't go out when I looked into the mirror. I would give anything to finally have a normal face.
Sorry for my English, I'm European.

Edited by Marty92, 10 December 2011 - 09:18 AM.

[margox]

hi margox, same, same and same situation. i have said so many times that i dont even wanna leave the house ...its so depressing, i find spraying the bathroom mirror with shaving foam helps if i am home all day so i dont have the reminder...also living in a face mask of sugar and green tea often stops me touching my face accidentally... i am about to start maca pills on the advice of a lovely girl on this site who has emailed me. i will let you know how it goes we have to keep trying ..i wish we all lived in a little town together so we could cry and wipe each others tears, its like no one else is ever going to understand, they just say, oh dont worry, its not that bad ... but they all have perfect skin nice to know theres some place we can go to see we are not alone, thats where i get my hope and strength, thanks you guys hi

i know.. God bless us all in our fight against acne..........................

Unfortunately I know exactly how you feel. I've been struggling with acne for five years now and I really haven't made any significant progress. It's so depressing. My live is basically ruined. I have absolutely no self-confidence, I'm still a virgin and I'll be twenty in January. The main problem is that I'm running away from people 'cause my mind is so fucked up that all I can think of, when I talk to somebody, is my horrible face. I have missed five days of school last month just because I couldn't go out when I looked into the mirror. I would give anything to finally have a normal face.
Sorry for my English, I'm European.

yep same here..... i can't even tell my friends what i'm going through right now...all of em are texting me, wanting to meet up and i just can't.... I JUST CAN'T......not right now......still don't have the guts to face them....... just hoping and praying that it'll end soon...... still going to my dermatologist.........

[Yasaman Rad]

you know what sucks even more?when you feel the way you do, and people keep saying that youre just shallow.that you shouldnt care about how you look like. guess what,im tired of wearing makeup and depending on it,i want to be able to just decide to go out and do it without spending hours getting ready,laying layer upon layer of foundation.i completely know what you mean,i actually felt suicidal because of the way i looked because of my acne from ages 14 to 18, and then i was good for two years,now my acne is back again, thanks to the stress of being a newlywed,so dont think youre alone, AT ALL

[margox]

...... Fcuk....... my couzin's coming to town and he's throwing this big bday celebration for his daughter and i'm really freaking out........................... i'm not in the mood to celebrate anything...can't even barely get out of the house..... don't know how i'm gonna dodge this one out//// i hAve to................. i just can't

[ZoeyP]

Acne is horrible. Horrible I tell you. I used to never get pimples and out of nowhere, there I went with pimples. I do have a suggestion to all of you and I don't know whether it is available in the United States (as I didn't have to deal with this when I lived there) but Blackseed oil. Try it. Believe it or not...I do have a couple of pimples but they are so tiny, noone even notices them but myself. I hated dealing with acne and I hated leaving my house knowing that I have "stuff" all over my face. Try it. I promise you, this is what helped me save myself before it got worse. I didn't want to turn to antibiotics or birth control as I know that after you are complete with the medication the acne will return and possibly even worse. Try anything topical before you turn to pills. Good luck everyone and remember you are beautiful no matter what and it will all go away soon. Live your life to the fullest because tomorrow isn't promised! If someone doesn't like you for who you are then they aren't worth your time. Like I said, I never used to get pimples and I had acne for a few months and now I understand what people go through and don't even want to imagine how it feels to live with it for years, decades...Good luck everyone and God bless.

[ihateacne202]

ive had acne since i was 11 i used to get bullied back then and had a lot of remarks, i never go out without a full face of make up and feel ashamed :/ my skins constantly covered in acne or in scars...i suffer from really bad hormonal acne ive been roaccutane twice and i never stayed clear after but my acne isnt half as bad as it was it used to be cystic now its moderate but i still feel so disgusting
i used to lock my self in my room for weeks till one break out had healed
now i use tons of make up or hide for days
id give my left foot to have clear skin and not have to wear make up:( i just pray now im 21 itl clear up soon more, so im about to try dans things.very pricey tho as im in the uk
hope everyone can find the good in there life and not let acne ruin it

[Wishful_Thinking3131]

I can relate to soo much of this. Acne really puts crazy emotional baggage on you (sometime I think acne should be classified as an mental illness in the fact how much it psychological takes out of you for a prolonged time). I've suffered for five years of it, through High School and now College. Its tough, not to sound cocky or anything, but I've always been in a popular crowd. Some days it tough to be around them, most have perfect skin, and do nothing for it, just good genetics. I find myself looking into mirrors for endless amounts of time during the day, and never being happy. Sometimes I'll have a good night out, but my skin can bring me right back down.

I find myself in such an odd situation. I have all the capabilities to be an extremely social, good-looking person except for my skin. It tough cuz people with good skin just don't understand the struggle, that you can't just take a pill, or use proactiv and be all clean and clear. I went through the journey off topical retinoids. WOW its been a tough year with them. The think about topical retinoids is that it not only gives you gnarly IB, you get facial redness and terrible hyperpigmentation.

I'd like to think I'm dealing with the aftermath of combating cystic acne. After 6 months of differin, I now only get the occassional pimple that I can deal with. BUT my complexion is always red or pink, which coupled with hyperpigmentation (a lot of it) makes one pretty bad skin tone. The thing with hyperpigmentation is it is one tuff mother to get ride of, I've had the same marks for months and they consume most of my face. I won't dare leave my house without using concealer on my acne marks, and I'm a guy (which if people notice I cover my marks is more facial ridicule nobody wants.

Bottom line, someone said it earlier this thread, it will end. My cysts did end, but now I have to repair my skin tone, which could take months to years for me. I know its hard to stay positive, I struggle everyday. Motivation to get out and face social pressures, and I just don't see improvement in my skin tone, is it worth it? I find I never stop trying new things, and i won't be beat by my skin. I've gotten ever curve ball acne can induce to your skin, but I won't give up. I've seen pictures, people have beat complexions that are super red and acne literally everywhere. Time and the right products WILL work, its just hard to believe it. I know (no matter if it takes two months or two more years) when my complexion comes back, I'll have a permenant smile, knowing I beat the worst shit ever....acne.

[margox]

....felt a huge wave of depression again last night...... coz i heard coldplay's fix you...... next thing i know i'm crying my eyes out again....... my dog heard me and she tried to comfort me by staying at my side............. still hoping.. oh 2012..please be good!

[Jabberwocky80]

Hi Margox, I'm new here and I completely relate to what you and others have posted. In high school and college I'd have the occasional cyst, but I went through a traumatic, life-altering experience at 27 that, for whatever reason, completely changed my skin. Huge, painful, disgusting cysts popped up over and over. When they finally went away, I was left with horrible scars. I'm 31 today and STILL battling my skin.

I feel like I'm a prisoner in my body/skin. I hate bright light. I duck my head and no longer really LOOK at someone in the eyes for long periods of time. I attempt to position myself so that my scars and acne are the least visible to those around me. Unfortunately, I'm a very public profession and have eyes on my all day long. I, too, suffer from depression due to my frigging skin. I sit in the dark. I've turned down social opportunities galore. Although I'm married and my husband loves me no matter what, I feel as though I'm not as attractive to him because of my skin. I've spent THOUSANDS of dollars on all sorts of drugs, cleansers, treatments...you name it, I've done it. And I'm STILL trying new things.

A former dermatologist tried to convince me to go on Accutane. I had signed the paperwork but just couldn't go through with it. I was still in deep physical, emotional, mental...hell...spiritual pain and upheaval from the trauma I experienced. I was too afraid that my mental state -- severely depressed...I should have seen a therapist -- would be affected even moreso with the Accutane.

However, the bottom line is you do what is best for you. We are connected in our battles with acne, but each of our body chemistries are unique. Try whatever is available to you, but only on your own accord.

[margox]

Hi Margox, I'm new here and I completely relate to what you and others have posted. In high school and college I'd have the occasional cyst, but I went through a traumatic, life-altering experience at 27 that, for whatever reason, completely changed my skin. Huge, painful, disgusting cysts popped up over and over. When they finally went away, I was left with horrible scars. I'm 31 today and STILL battling my skin.

I feel like I'm a prisoner in my body/skin. I hate bright light. I duck my head and no longer really LOOK at someone in the eyes for long periods of time. I attempt to position myself so that my scars and acne are the least visible to those around me. Unfortunately, I'm a very public profession and have eyes on my all day long. I, too, suffer from depression due to my frigging skin. I sit in the dark. I've turned down social opportunities galore. Although I'm married and my husband loves me no matter what, I feel as though I'm not as attractive to him because of my skin. I've spent THOUSANDS of dollars on all sorts of drugs, cleansers, treatments...you name it, I've done it. And I'm STILL trying new things.

A former dermatologist tried to convince me to go on Accutane. I had signed the paperwork but just couldn't go through with it. I was still in deep physical, emotional, mental...hell...spiritual pain and upheaval from the trauma I experienced. I was too afraid that my mental state -- severely depressed...I should have seen a therapist -- would be affected even moreso with the Accutane.

However, the bottom line is you do what is best for you. We are connected in our battles with acne, but each of our body chemistries are unique. Try whatever is available to you, but only on your own accord.

hello
Jabberwocky80, thank you for sharing........ still in an emotional black hole now, and i'm hoping that 2012 will be a good year......... somehow i have been feeling quite optimistic lately..... i have been sharing my experiences with my family though not with other relatives.............. can't seem to tell and face my friends though........... hoping to have more courage to face my condition...... keepimg hope and faith....

[margox]

.....sooooo here's something new..... consulted a psychiatrist today...... i'm diagnosed to have clinical depression; bipolar disorder and gonna start taking meds for it.........
.....i asked if it's going to react to my taking Accutane but my doctor said no, it's safe to take antidepressants.....

soo far that's what ACNE has done to my life.....