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[Sasch83]

Day 118

 

I'm sick!  This majorily sucks but i have to say it doesn't come as a total surprise as the weather in NY has gone from warm to below freezing temps to rain to a snowstorm.  I have kept to my supplement and juicing regiemn religiusly so hopefully this will pass through my system quickly.  It started on day 117 so we'll see.  On to our acne update:

 

 

PROS:

• That monster that has been on my upper right cheek has JUST started to deflate.  It's red and it will definitely leave a mark but tis going down and is no longer painful  - thank God for small favors. 
• Also, my skin is feeling less bumpy though i still have quite a few small red bumps on both sides of my face.  Right now, the inflammed acne that i have is between 2-5. 
• Dryness, while still an issue is not horrendously so.
• Forehead for the most part is clear and chin has a few small pimples that don't bother me ATM

 

CONS: 

• And this is a bigggie: STILL BREAKING OUT!  I am experiencing the same cycle of breakout/clear up/breakout/clear up
• I also have started to get tons of pimpes behind my ears, towards my neck on both sides WTF!

 

OVERALL:  Tired of talking about this as progress has stalled.

[Sasch83]

I could cry right now - another day, another breakout.  Those under the skin bumps on my left cheek are back and i got a few inflamed ones.  The bump that has been on my right cheek is still there and since my last update, has developed a white head that i want to pop so bad but my skin is so prone to red marks i don't want to risk it.    I think i am wasting my time with this treatment as while it keeps my acne breakouts manageable (meaning i can leave my house), i am still breaking out DAILY.

 

I am so tired of this shit, i really am.  I guess 3rd time is not really the charm

[Sasch83]

I have encountered a rough rough ROUGH patch.  Woke up this morning to several inflamed new acne and the sides of left jaw has over 5 to a dozen smaller inflammed rash like bumps.

 

Totally bummed.

 

I feel defeated again.

 

I feel like want to give up

 

I see my derm next Friday but what can she do?  If accutane, the strongest acne fighter in the arsenal is not working, then whats next.

 

This breakout could be to:

 

my unluckiness with acne treatment

pre period worsening (though i break out ALL the time)

restarting accutane after a 2 day hiatus

 

For my last month i will be going back to my old cleanser and moisturizer

 

And thanks for all the PM's and words of encouragement that i have been getting.

 

It makes this journey that much easier

 

Thanks guys and gals!!!

Edited by Sasch83, 13 February 2013 - 04:46 PM.

[BMarieWantsNoAcne]

I'm sorry I know it's rough! I really hope things will clear up soon.

[Sasch83]

I'm sorry I know it's rough! I really hope things will clear up soon.

Thanks BMarie, your encouragement is appreciated.  I am not a very patient person and i have been disappointed so many times with various acne treatments.  Take into account that i am sick, my job is stressfull and well, i am a blubering mess.

I will not dilude myself thinking that things will be a-ok between this and next month as these same issues have been a problem since the middle of Novemember (3 month ago).

 

Maybe some of us are just meant to have shitty skin

As of tonight 2/13/12, i switched back to my old products:

 

cleanser: purpose liquid

 

moisturizer: Neutrogenia Sensitive Skin

[Sasch83]

DAY 120

 

I don't know if i have a rash or what but behind both my ears, speading down part of my neck is immense redness accompanied by small, bright red bumps that are not poppable.  It's weird that it only appears there so it makes me wonder.

 

Also, those small red bumps are pretty much spreading across the whole left side of my face.....so sad.  I also have had a few get inflamed.  Nothing is clearing up.  My right side is doing a bit better but i am still breaking out on it.  Chin and forehead are ok with little bumps here and there.

 

Has anyone else experienced this?  This does not see like normal acne or a normal acne pattern to me

 

Dear acne, i have one thing to say to you, go F$%& yourself.    Gotta keep on chucking i guess.

 

Have a great day everyone.

[Sasch83]

Day 122

 

Some things that i notice so far:

 

• my face burns when i moisturize.  It's not peely or dry anymore but it is definitely sensitive
• I have rashy pimples on oth my temples, under my jawline and on the side of my face. 
• breaking out again on my forehead and side of my chin
• breaking out on my cheeks closer to my nose area (clogs i think)

 

It seems as if i am right back to where i was in September - this sucks.   At this point i won't continue taking weekly pictures as it just depresses me further.  My next official update will be after my derm appt next week Friday but i'll probably be back to rant and rave as usual.

Edited by Sasch83, 16 February 2013 - 10:31 AM.

[BMarieWantsNoAcne]

I've noticed the sensitivity lately too. It's all around my mouth, and it's also kinda peeling. At first I thought it was because I was trying to wash all my makeup off and I never wear makeup, but I don't think it is...

Edited by BMarieWantsNoAcne, 16 February 2013 - 07:12 PM.

[Sasch83]

Lol...yes, this is a funny drug, isn't it?

[Sasch83]

Day 130

 

Had my derm appt yesterday and received what was supposed to be my last script for Claravis(5th month) but after speaking with her and letting her know about my continuous breakouts, she said if i wanted to extend it by 1 more month, she was willing to do that.  She did say that there was an improvement so that made me feel a bit better.

 

Same issues as usual:

 

super dry skin

dry lips

constant breakouts (albeit less than before)

 

Trying not to get discouraged especially when everyone else around me seems to be seeing STEADY improvements this late in the game but i'll admit its hard

 

But holding on hope for positive change these last two months....we'll see

[Sasch83]

Every breakout brings me down .  Wishing for a reprieve, even if only for a while.  I try so hard to not let it bother me but you know what, it does.  The good news though is that i still go about my everyday life.  Just enjoyed movie and dinner with 3 AMAZING co-workers!

 

I just want to be past this stage of my life......wanna be an adult...for real

[Sasch83]

The breakout that came out between yesterday was much worse than i previously thought.  6 inflammed lumps on my left cheek.  I am surprised that it is this bad and I am extremely disappointed.  What sucks even more is that they hurt, in fact, that wholel side of my face throbs.  I guess i'll just have to trudge through this shit.  On Friday i start my second to last month (note: this was supposed to be my last month).

 

Ughhhh.....hormones, how i hate you

 

Good news is that acne that was behind my ears and down my neck has cleared up.  Also, forehead acne has started to go away, just a few pimples and clogged pores.

 

Bad news is that my face is a f...ing mess.  I almost cried today (something that i haven't done in a while).  I get so frustrated with the daily struggle of my acne.

 

BTW, starting on Saturday, my co-worker and I will be going paleo for 30 days.  I am mostly doing it to support him (as he is tryign to lose weight) but for me, i am hoping it will kick start my face clearance.  I cannot afford to lose weight, at all.

 

May tomorrow be a better day

Edited by Sasch83, 26 February 2013 - 06:36 PM.

[brightling]

Why how tall are you? Do you think maybe you have barely been absorbing it this whole time? i often wonder if thats the case with me but im not actually breaking out--its just, my skin still seems oily sometimes--though dry at others... Im only on 20mgs though (2nd mnth) and my derm refuses to raise it so far cause i basically cleared instantly...i just worry that it'll end up coming back like the last time i was on accutane (she kept me at a low dose last time too so I figure that must be the problem). I want to ask my dr for the "absorbica" version that you can take without food. I don't understand how people are eating their accutane with Mickey D's and still passing their cholestoral tests but I'm just not willing to go on a high fat diet like that (feels like the choice between having acne or being fat lol).

Anyways, definitely try spiro. Why are you afraid of it btw? I used to be afraid of it too, and I can't handle birth control either (tried it numerous times but was always turned off by the side effects) and while I recently ended my one year relationship with spiro due to the fact that we started to have problems, I gotta admit I'd rather go back on spiro than be plagued by inflammatory acne cause inflammatory acne really gets to me....the scarring, the humiliation etc; I already let these things take so much from me and i wont let them keep me from living anymore if I can help it. In fact, I would be back on it for sure if I wasnt allowed to do accutane.

Alls it took was 50 mgs of spiro to keep me clear so you definitely don't need to be on a massive dose of it. I didn't have to take birth control with it and it made my skin less oily like accutane does only not to the point where it flaked. It does work by increasing your estrogen slightly though, so you might gain like 5 lbs and get slightly bigger boobs, and it also broke me out for like, an entire month or two before it started working but still, at least it was able to keep me clear right? Maybe it could do the same for you.

[Sasch83]

Why how tall are you? Do you think maybe you have barely been absorbing it this whole time? i often wonder if thats the case with me but im not actually breaking out--its just, my skin still seems oily sometimes--though dry at others... Im only on 20mgs though (2nd mnth) and my derm refuses to raise it so far cause i basically cleared instantly...i just worry that it'll end up coming back like the last time i was on accutane (she kept me at a low dose last time too so I figure that must be the problem). I want to ask my dr for the "absorbica" version that you can take without food. I don't understand how people are eating their accutane with Mickey D's and still passing their cholestoral tests but I'm just not willing to go on a high fat diet like that (feels like the choice between having acne or being fat lol).

Anyways, definitely try spiro. Why are you afraid of it btw? I used to be afraid of it too, and I can't handle birth control either (tried it numerous times but was always turned off by the side effects) and while I recently ended my one year relationship with spiro due to the fact that we started to have problems, I gotta admit I'd rather go back on spiro than be plagued by inflammatory acne cause inflammatory acne really gets to me....the scarring, the humiliation etc; I already let these things take so much from me and i wont let them keep me from living anymore if I can help it. In fact, I would be back on it for sure if I wasnt allowed to do accutane.

Alls it took was 50 mgs of spiro to keep me clear so you definitely don't need to be on a massive dose of it. I didn't have to take birth control with it and it made my skin less oily like accutane does only not to the point where it flaked. It does work by increasing your estrogen slightly though, so you might gain like 5 lbs and get slightly bigger boobs, and it also broke me out for like, an entire month or two before it started working but still, at least it was able to keep me clear right? Maybe it could do the same for you.

I'm 5'8 but i don't think height and absorbing accutane are related.  I take my pills at around the same time everyday with fat so unless internally there is a problem, i'm doing everything right on my end.

 

I guess with Sprio i am imagining havign the terrible acne i had with birth control and not having to go away.  Still, it may not hurt to speak to my derm though.  i am leaning more towards the regimen though as it is said to even work on hormonal acne.

 

Thanks for reading this blog and providing advice.  So happy that you are clear.  Oiliness will go away with time

 

Good Luck

[Sasch83]

Interesting Noticings:

 

So i recently met my mom's side of the family and they are from China (I am from Jamaica).  Suprisingly, the relatives that i met have moderate acne so it got me thinking that maybe my acne is genetic -very interesting as no one in my immediate family has acne like i do (including aunts and uncles).  It was great to know that i wasn't the only one....i felt so at home with them.

 

You learn something new everyday i guess  

[whoartthou1]

I have cousins with acne as well, but no one has body acne. That is the part that destroys me

[Sasch83]

Well to be honest with you, i would prefer body acne over facial acne anyday.

 

I am ending this week on a very BUMPY note.  This morning it wasn't as bad but tonight, i feel it alot more. I am beyond even caring at this point.  59 days to go, would have met my approrpriate dosage and in all honesty, i don't expect a big improvement between now and then.  I guess in a funny way i should be grateful that i have acne that is not as bad as my cousins.  Any who..........gotta move forward i suppose. 

[Sasch83]

DAY # 137 (week - i don't even know).  So here's the skinny.

 

PROS:

 

Those breakouts from last week are finally going away.....whether they stay away is another issue

 

Dryness is decreasing again

 

Acne on the side of my neck and behind my ears are mostly gone

 

CONS:

 

still breaking out

 

under my jaw is beginning to breaout out in small bumps

 

forehead is also breaking out in small red bumps that don't develop a head (strange as my forehead is usually the first place to clear up and stay clear)

 

WHERE MY HEAD IS AT:

 

I am trying to keep things in perspective and realize that my acne is indeed much better now than it was pre accutane.  I think that trying to compare it to being flawless is what is giving me anxiety and discouraging me.  I am making a concentrated effort to not let every new breakout bring me down, after all , besides my skin, i have so many other wonderful things happening in my life.

 

57 days left....WOOT WOOT

[Sasch83]

Day # 143

 

Well it was a good run while it lasted - for the past 7 days, acne has been minor -scattered here and there and new pimples were happening where no one could see them.  But now, the cycle has started again.  Breaking out in my familiar spots -by my ears, side of my cheeks and forehead.   Bumps are inflamed too.  Fuck it though as i went out with friends, had an amazing time and did some spring shopping.  And for a moment in time, life is good.

 

Acne, you can honestly go to hell - i'm sick of shedding tears over you

[Sasch83]

So i have something to get off my chest.  I sometimes get jealous of people who are having more success on accutane than i am.  It's totally un christian like of me and i need to stop but it's so hard.  Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin and i just have to keep reminding myself that this is a process - albeit, a long one.  Any whoooooo, will do a full update on Saturday.