65 replies to this topic

[Again!]

Long time no hear! I'm glad to hear your results are good. You and I are within two days of eachother. I have 1-2 months left to go. I'm hoping it's only one.

[Roisin75]

Thanks Again! I have posted on your log - the end is in sight for both of us now - I can't wait til it's over.

Day 134

My skin is totally clear still. Everything is healing and it is softer and smoother than it has ever been. I have a couple of raised bumps/clogs that have been sitting there for months but they haven't become inflamed - I'm not sure why this is.

The red marks are still there and probably will be for some time. It's weird, but when I get up in the morning you can hardly see them - but by the end of the day they are really red. I have also noticed that my face gets more and more flushed through out the day. I am also blushing more in certain situations which is a pain in the neck!

As far as scarring goes - it is not as bad as I thought. I do have a few shallow scars, but I don't think they will be as noticeable as I had thought. When I saw my derm last he said that only I would notice the marks and that most of my red marks would fade in a matter of months. I'm not sure they will, as I have some marks which still haven't faded after a year, so we'll see.

My moods have remained consistently low and I have had a few awful days when I have just not been able to do anything. This has lifted a little since my skin has cleared. The combination of PMT and Roaccutane has been an absolute nightmare!

I have also had various aches and pains. My heels, for some reason start aching in the evening and I have also experienced a burning sensation in the back of my right calf - I had this checked out as I started worrying about DVT - but no problems. Also I have been getting really, really thirsty.

I have also noticed a slight difficulty in focusing my eyes - not sure if this is something I should be concerned about? I am seeing the derm on Thursday, so I will mention it then.

I can't wait to come of this drug - the side effects are not fun. But at the same time I am terrified that my acne will come back when I stop. I don't think my derm makes a practice of prescribing Retin-A after Roaccutane but I am considering asking for it - I will do ANYTHING to stop this happening again.

Edited by Roisin75, 28 November 2011 - 06:49 AM.

[Quiescence]

Wow you must be thrilled about your results so far, well done!! Any pre/post pics?

I'm only on day 13 and feeling crappy but hopeful (see my log !)...reading the logs of people like you reassure me it'll work in the end!!

p.s. I know exatly what you mean about the whole ageing process thing! I'm 25 and am starting to see eye wrinkles forming... I too was spurred on to start accutane when I realised I might go straight from acne to wrinkles with no clear 'comfortable in my own skin' phase in between!! Its not fair!! x x

[Roisin75]

Hi Quiescence! I have just read your log and posted on it.

Regarding photos - I have one pic from around day 50 from my better side - I stupidly managed to delete the worst side, but it gives a bit of an idea of what it has been like. I am not very technically savvy - it is a big file and another member has advised me to use a 'photo sharing' website to post it. I am feeling really paranoid about sharing my e-mail details and pics of acne with these sites - I am scared of my info being mis-used. I am giving away how ignorant I am about these things....

[Quiescence]

No no I understand! you never know with this wide web thing...hopefully no one I know will find these pics and bring them out on my wedding day or something...haha.

I just use irfanview (free download) to make my pics a smaller file size and use the attachment tool on here... don't know how people manage to embed them in their posts..i'm rather unsavvy also! x x

[hotburrito]

Wow, big congratulations to you! You must be feeling pretty stoked right now.

[Roisin75]

Wow, big congratulations to you! You must be feeling pretty stoked right now.

Thanks Hotburrito! It's a bit of a strange feeling - I am really, really pleased but at the same time waiting for it all to be taken away. I am so scared that it will happen all over again!

[Again!]

Hi! So, how many months are you on accutane. If its 5 months, you must be done by now. If so, how's the results? Are you happy?

[Roisin75]

Day 176

Hey Again - I have posted on your log. x

I am finally getting round to updating this log - had a frustrating moment on Friday when I wrote a long entry and then lost the whole lot as the site/computer malfunctioned.

So, I am still completely clear! I have not had anything new since I first became clear (if that makes sense). My skin is smooth and papery - very delicate, but not overly dry. I have not had to use any heavy moisturisers throughout the course. I have been using one drop of the La Roche Posay Toleriane Fluide morning and night and have not needed anything else. I have cut out the toner as my skin began to feel a little sensitive.

I had a bit of a set back last week when I decided to squeeze a black head that had been sitting above my eyebrow for the whole course. Big mistake, delicate Roaccutane skin + squeezing = a big sore mess. Luckily it didn't get infected or turn into a major zit - so now I just have a little red patch to remind me of my foolishness.

Side effects - extremely thirsty, achey in the evening, moderate depression (which I have almost become used to), very dry inside of my nose.

However, my confidence and general self-esteem have improved hugely. I now feel pretty happy walking around without makeup. I still have plenty of red marks - but at least my skin is smooth and no longer inflamed. What a relief.

I saw my derm on Thursday - I have 6 more weeks to go which seems like forever - I had thought I'd be done by the end of January. I suppose those extra weeks on 20mg have slowed things down a bit. Generally he was very pleased with my progress. When I asked him about the liklihood of my acne returning he said that I would probably get a few spots here and there, but that Roaccutane permananently reduces the amount of sebum your body produces so it would never come back as badly. I really hope this is true. He also said that the marks could take up to a few years to disappear, which makes me feel sad.

So my last pills will be taken on 19th February and then I go back to see my derm on 5th April for a final meeting. I can't wait til this over. The big worry is whether my acne will return, and how I will cope if it does.

Edited by Roisin75, 10 January 2012 - 10:20 AM.

[PaulH85]

Great to hear that things are going so well, really pleased for you.
Don't worry yourself about whether or not the acne may come back in the future, no sense in worry about something with may not happen. Might as well forget it and not put yourself through that anxiety. I understand it though - I'm in that very position these days, not totally sure if my acne's gone for good or if it'll come back - but you know, we might as well just enjoy it!

[Roisin75]

Great to hear that things are going so well, really pleased for you.
Don't worry yourself about whether or not the acne may come back in the future, no sense in worry about something with may not happen. Might as well forget it and not put yourself through that anxiety. I understand it though - I'm in that very position these days, not totally sure if my acne's gone for good or if it'll come back - but you know, we might as well just enjoy it!

Thanks Paul! I'm really glad to hear things are going well for you too - I don't know about you, but I feel like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders. I am actually thinking about other things!

Edited by Roisin75, 10 January 2012 - 10:17 AM.

[PaulH85]

Good!

The stupid thing was, for me at least, my skin was all that I thought about. It wasn't usually even that bad but I just couldn't see beyond it or believe that others could see beyond it. That drove me to distraction and cost me quite a bit so there's a lot of stuff I need to get back on track. That's my aim now and I just want to learn how to do stuff without caring about what I look like. Feels really strange but I guess I should embrace it.

[Roisin75]

Good!

The stupid thing was, for me at least, my skin was all that I thought about. It wasn't usually even that bad but I just couldn't see beyond it or believe that others could see beyond it. That drove me to distraction and cost me quite a bit so there's a lot of stuff I need to get back on track. That's my aim now and I just want to learn how to do stuff without caring about what I look like. Feels really strange but I guess I should embrace it.

Yup - that sounds familiar. I think it really helps to focus outwards on other people, I had to remind myself to do this when things got really bad.

Edited by Roisin75, 10 January 2012 - 10:22 AM.

[PaulH85]

I reckon we're on the same page there. I've been thinking about that a lot lately - the idea that I essentially control how I'm perceived and people see what they see of me based on what I show. I always used to think that all they ever saw or knew of me was acne and that the acne defined me. That probably was the case, given that I wasn't really out there or making myself known to people for any particular reason and certainly for nothing positive. Even without the acne, the issues it caused regarding a lack of confidence and self-esteem are still there for me, but again, I don't have to present those issues to people or draw attention to them. Instead, like you said, it makes perfect sense to work on being the best person I can be and indeed put that positivity out there for other people and be good to them. Then in the end, regardless of what my skin's doing or anything else that's comparatively trivial, all people notice is that positive outlook and that good nature which they also see as a form of confidence. So yes, I totally agree that that's the best way forward.

[Roisin75]

I reckon we're on the same page there. I've been thinking about that a lot lately - the idea that I essentially control how I'm perceived and people see what they see of me based on what I show. I always used to think that all they ever saw or knew of me was acne and that the acne defined me. That probably was the case, given that I wasn't really out there or making myself known to people for any particular reason and certainly for nothing positive. Even without the acne, the issues it caused regarding a lack of confidence and self-esteem are still there for me, but again, I don't have to present those issues to people or draw attention to them. Instead, like you said, it makes perfect sense to work on being the best person I can be and indeed put that positivity out there for other people and be good to them. Then in the end, regardless of what my skin's doing or anything else that's comparatively trivial, all people notice is that positive outlook and that good nature which they also see as a form of confidence. So yes, I totally agree that that's the best way forward.

Recently I feel like I have lost patience with the whole issue of caring what other people think - I don't quite know how to put it properly, but I feel like I have closed down the vulnerable part of myself that lays itself open for criticism.

Edited by Roisin75, 10 January 2012 - 05:10 PM.

[Again!]

Oh I do envy you! I wish I had as much self esteem as you. I still wont go out without makeup on and as much as I say how I don't care what others think, I still really do about my acne scars. I don't get it myself. I mean I don't care if someone thought that I was ugly, but I do care about being judge on my acne scars?! I really wish I knew psychology better. I feel so complicated.

[Roisin75]

Oh I do envy you! I wish I had as much self esteem as you. I still wont go out without makeup on and as much as I say how I don't care what others think, I still really do about my acne scars. I don't get it myself. I mean I don't care if someone thought that I was ugly, but I do care about being judge on my acne scars?! I really wish I knew psychology better. I feel so complicated.

Hi Again - I definitely don't have much self esteem at the moment! The only reason I go without makeup is because I have convinced myself that foundation is what may have triggered my acne problems in the past. There is nothing I would love more than to wear foundation all the time. I would give anything to get the perfect skin that I had a few years ago back, even if it means walking around feeling rubbish for a while.

...........There has been an unfortunate development over the past couple of days. I have 2 spots - one on my jaw line and one in the centre of my right cheek. The one on my jaw line is inflamed and red and the other one is a congestion bump that has become mildly red. To say I am beside myself is an understatement - I am freaking out. Should this be happening with 4 weeks to go??? I am wondering if that has something to do with the cold weather - my skin has become very dry and flaky - could it be irritation?

I am feeling the old fear and depression - horrible.



......

[Roisin75]

Two weeks to go!

The previous post was a bit hysterical - sorry about that! I think it was a combination of dryness and irritation that caused the red bumps. I have had a couple of these since then, and they seem to die down after a couple of days.

I am clear and very smooth. Red marks are fading - though they really show in the evening or when I am flushed (which is alot of the time).

Side effects: Permanently tired and down - I feel like I have to drag myself through most days. Very dry, flaky skin. Dry inside of nose and slight bleeding. Facial flushing. Aching joints in the evening. Thirst. Dry, rashy hands. Skin easily scratched/torn.

I would say it has definitely been worth it, but I can't wait to get off this stuff.

Edited by Roisin75, 07 February 2012 - 10:11 AM.

[Roisin75]

Day 218

Finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took my final 40mg today - I can't believe it is finally over. It has been seven long hard months and I can't wait for these side effects to start fading! In particular I am looking forward to going for a run and having a proper drink.

I am clear apart from a black head above my eyebrow which has been there for the whole course - can't get rid of it. Also a slight red bump by my nose which I think may be congestion but could be drynesss. Apart from that, no more spots! My red marks are fading and my skin tone is pretty even now and though I do have some shallow scarring it only shows in some lights.

I have decided to steer clear of foundation whenever I can. I feel that this gives me the best chance of keeping my skin healthy and clear of congestion. Maybe in a couple of years I will start to re-introduce it gradually but at the moment I need to keep things as simple as possible.

I am terrified that this will all happen again, so please wish me luck. This time if I even get a couple of zits I will be heading straight to my GP - there is no way I am going to let things get as out of control as they were before.

Thank you everyone for being so supportive and lovely. This site is brilliant and has got me through one of the darkest times of my life. You have to experience acne to truly realise what a devastating effect it can have on your life. Keep on fighting everyone!

[Quiescence]

SO MANY CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm so so happy for you well done on everything

pre post pics? go on you know you wanna...... x x x x