86 replies to this topic

[abigailwheeler]

I think I've spoken on here a few times about my boyfriend and his support/reaction to my acne.. So I thought we could all share some stories on here about how we feel about our acne in relation to our partners. Do you cover it up and hide it from them? Are they supportive? What do they think of your never ending regimens?

I'll start. Rob and I got together just over a year ago. I'd actually known him a little longer because he is the brother of my best friend Kitty (she is cool with it). Kitty also has acne so Rob has prior exposure to acne's evilness.

We met when my acne was when my acne was at its WORST. I didn't have any clear skin around my mouth - literally covered in bumps and redness.

For quite a while I said NOTHING about my acne. I knew he knew about it but he never said anything. I thought that if I didn't make a big deal out of it he wouldn't notice as much. I only wear makeup for a night out so he saw my spots in all their glory right from the beginning.

Recently I have opened up about how it makes me feel and he is very supportive. He doesn't mind that it takes me forever to get through the bathroom at night.

He always comments if my skin looks better but doesn't say a thing when it gets worse.

Sometimes I want to cancel on him if my skin is particularly bad, not because I'm embarrassed but because I am just so upset and angry that I don't want to put that negativeness on him.

Rob has a beard and when he kisses me I have fear that he is getting germs on me with his stubble. I can't wait for the day that I no longer have to bat his hands away when they reach for his face or kiss him thinking how nice it is rather than 'I hope his beard wont break me out'.

I think he puts up with a lot from me and my skin and I am so grateful for all his support and compliments.

Share share share your experiences please. x

[kopp00]

At the moment, I'm covering it up and hiding it from my boyfriend, I haven't spoken to him about my acne, but I want to soon, because he must wonder why I brush his hand away every time he wants to touch my face or push him off gently when he kisses me too hard or why I spend a quite a while in the bathroom.

I'm scared about opening up to him, but I know that it'll help, he'll understand why I have OCD with certain things. I've changed plans with my boyfriend a few times just because I had a massive breakout and felt awful about myself and my skin! I don't want to keep doing this as he hates it when I cancel plans.

Hearing about your experiences and your supportive boyfriend makes me feel less scared to open up to my boyfriend (still scared but feeling positive!).

[PaulH85]

I was hoping for some more stories in here. I don't have any to share, I just like being nosey. And they're nice and sweet to read.

It's interesting though, I've always assumed that with skin like mine I would never have a chance of getting a girlfriend so I never even bothered. Can't believe it never occurred to me that the main reason it wasn't happening is because I wasn't even trying, of course!

You know, being on the Org and reading so many stories from people about their relationships makes me smile because it shows me my perception of things was skewed and that, in fact, in most cases, the right people will totally look past any imperfections, or perhaps even love us because of them. Maybe people were previously of the same mindset as I am at the moment, but they were brave and took a chance which paid off.

When I’ve read topics here, usually from the ladies, talking of being concerned about what their partner thinks and so on, I’ve thought you myself, ‘You’re attractive, kind, funny - any guy would be lucky to have you and you’ve nothing to worry about!’ People have said similar things about me in relation to girls, now that I think of it. Just goes to show how tough we can be on ourselves sometimes, and perhaps how much significance we incorrectly put on our skin.

Edited by PaulH85, 04 July 2011 - 05:16 PM.

[rubberduck]

I'm really happy that you have found someone you can be comfortable with - to an extent. I have never had a girl friend...a proper one anyway. My Dad told me he had similar skin to mine when he was my age, and he would always have a girl friend, some one he could always lean on. But I just cant do it...I'm to obsest with my image, even if I had 1 pimple on my face it would still put me off ever approaching a girl, pathetic I know. I need to sort that out! I'd like to hear other people's stories though

[g_bye]

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and I've had ups and downs with my acne. When we first met my acne was mild and I would break out once a month. I was still self conscious and would hate looking him straight in the face. He always had clear skin (or so I thought/saw at the time).

After a few months I went from mild acne to horrible severe acne. I think most of it was contributed to stopping my birthcontrol pills and taking a break from them. =/ I was also going through a lot of stress and drama at home that didn't help the situation. Anyway, I started Dan's regimen, researched the hell out of these boards, and FINALLY I am 99% clear. I am left with a lot of dark spots and some scars.

I never let him see me without makeup and I would take ages in the bathroom trying to cover up all of the nasty bumps. My self esteem was nonexistent but I never cancelled dates because of my skin, even though I wanted to most of the time. I would worry all the time that he would say something about my skin, but fortunately he never said anything. I would hate going to brightly lit places or going out in the natural sunlight..

Recently I've noticed that my boyfriend's skin is now breaking out. I feel a little relieved that we both have acne issues. For a awhile I thought I was the only one. He still hasn't seen me without make-up, but my skin is soooo much better now. Someday I hope to reveal my clear skin and not be embarassed.

[PaulH85]

I brought my friend to the gym once. She got hit on like crazy. The guy I like though has never tried to make a move in terms of talking to me, but we'd constantly be glancing at each other; my friend even said he was checking me out lol. I hope that I can find confidence to just TALK to him. The most I've said to him was "sorry" when I bumped into him the very first time I started going to the gym in the evenings, and liked him ever since haha. Hopefully I can make everyone here proud by finally talking to him somehow, some way. I just don't know how to talk to guys. At all.

Whenever I've talked to friends or to my sister for example about girls I liked, and how I couldn't bring myself to talk to them, they all said, "It's not that hard! They're only girls and it's not like you haven't seen one before!" And my instant response to you was going to be the same about guys, but then I recalled the difficulties I've had. It's strange, I could think to myself how easy it should be and how I shouldn't have problems talking to people, but then when the times comes... eeek! Run away! We all do it though and it's quite laughable because we probably end up with situations where nobody is talking to anybody, even though they all want to!

The advantage you have is that you'd be in the same place and know that you have at least one common interest so that's obviously the starting point. Personally, if I was minding my own business and a girl came up and started a conversation, I'd consider that quite bold and instantly attractive in its own right. You could be all, "I haven't been to the gym for a while, I'm feeling a little out of shape", and of course he's cool so he'd say you were being silly and that you looked good, at which point he'd check you out. You could do the same and tell him you can clearly see that he's maintained his gym routine... keep the conversation going, job done!
Well, that's how it would play out in my head if I were in your position, but knowing my luck I'd do something stupid.

[abigailwheeler]

I brought my friend to the gym once. She got hit on like crazy. The guy I like though has never tried to make a move in terms of talking to me, but we'd constantly be glancing at each other; my friend even said he was checking me out lol. I hope that I can find confidence to just TALK to him. The most I've said to him was "sorry" when I bumped into him the very first time I started going to the gym in the evenings, and liked him ever since haha. Hopefully I can make everyone here proud by finally talking to him somehow, some way. I just don't know how to talk to guys. At all.

Sometimes guys just need a push. I made all the moves with Rob because he is SO shy and unassuming. We used to stay up til 3am talking online but he never asked me out so in the end I wrote him an email before I went on holiday saying "I'm off for a week, it's probably a good thing that you never go out in Stourbridge (my town) as you'd be avoiding the awkwardness of your sister's mate hitting on you"

The night I got back from my jollies I went out in a totally different city called Worcester. And I bumped into Rob, serendipity? While we were talking his friend came over and I was introduced. His friend said "ahhh so this is the girl you were trying to get us to go to Stourbridge for!"

I kissed him shortly after and we've been kissing ever since. I'm so glad I made the first move.

I agree with Rubberduck. Ask him for help on the equipment then buy him a drink to say thanks! He is obviously interested if he keeps glancing over at you!

[northlincs4kylie]

Well my story is that my acne started when I was with my ex, it wasn't really that bad then (not when I compare it to now) but I was embarrassed all the same. However even when he saw me with my makeup off he was fine & when I'd whine about being spotty he would say I wasn't and that he didn't see them.

However he finished me at the end of last year and then in March this year I started seeing someone else. After we'd been seeing each other about a month we got together, and this is when my acne started to get worse. I've been with him since this time but have not let him see me without makeup. I try to avoid staying over at his house and even though I've moaned about being spotty to him he says he doesn't really notice and obviously because he's never seen me without makeup he doesn't know the full extent of it. I just feel crap like I aren't putting my all into the relatinship because of my acne, and I feel crap for him cos I feel like he started seeing me when my face was okay and now has to stay with me when it's worse!

I stay over about once a week at the weekend in my makeup and then literally run out of the house in the morning before he's had time to wake up properly and see my red spots showing through.

I feel like with my ex I didn't mind because he'd seen me when my face was clear and he saw it gradually getting a bit worse but I somehow feel that I'm deceiving my now bf because he's never seen how bad my face actually is!

[Holly137]

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, and I started getting acne after about 2 years. I still don't know why it started getting bad. I've always been acne prone and I suffered mild acne as a young teen, but was clear for years after, and then at around 18 it gradually got worse and worse. I've got moderately severe acne now.

Unfortunately for my boyfriend, he hears it all. We've always talked about everything, and he's always been so supportive. He sees me at my worst - spotty, red and blotchy from picking, the lot. He still tells me I'm beautiful and he hates how much I put myself down because he just doesn't care about my skin. It has caused a few problems between us though, I used to break down a lot and I got depressed at one point because of it, and he'd hear it all just because he was there, and I just needed to vent. He gradually got less supportive because it was so relentless. He found himself repeating himself. This felt horrible for me at first, but I talk to him about it less now, and we're much happier for it. I still feel like crap about my skin, but putting it on all him just caused tension between us as a couple. So talk to you boyfriends/girlfriends about it by all means, but don't let it be all you talk about, even if it's on YOUR mind all the time.

[AnnaMoyer]

I just started dating a guy I met at my church this summer and he's been really supportive about my acne. My skin is nowhere near as bad as it used to be, but I still have pretty low self-esteem when it comes to my skin. But Matt never really seems to notice my acne! After a month of dating, I mentioned that I felt self-conscious about my acne and his reply was "You have acne?" I was so shocked. Since, then I've been more lax about wearing makeup, since he says I'm beautiful even without it.

I almost think that since he doesn't care about it so much, I haven't been as obsessed about my skin. I don't worry over it every second of every day, which is probably helping by reducing stress and picking.

Last night we went out to dinner and then sat on a beach afterwards. He kept rubbing my cheek saying how soft my skin is. I love how beautiful he makes me feel

[Nair Houston]

well...my boyfriends in the past were very supporting with me...they never ever mentioned anything about my acne...very few of my ex-boyfriends had clear skin...so i always felt confortable around with them. but...i don´t like to hide myself...i have mild acne...with just a little amount of makeup...you will think that i have very very mild acne. so...i´m proud of myself and how i look...so...i always feel confortable around with others with my own skin. i do want to have super clear skin...but it doesn´t matter to me right now. i have more important things to do in life than worrying so much about something superficial.

but yes...answering your question...my boyfriends were always supporting me...never mentioned my acne...never looked at my pimples when they looked at me which i thank them sooo much for that..because we acne suffers we hate when someone doesn´t look at you in the eye when you are talking to them. so i guess i´m lucky...i guess that maybe someone may mention my acne only if i say something about my skin...so...if i don´t make such a deal with it...they don´t even notice. so...for now...everything is good.

[Kairasa]

I couldn't pass this thread up to post in. And thanks for sharing your personal stories you all, they make me smile!

I met my boyfriend on this site a few years ago. We went on a month long roadtrip together last summer, and due to wonderful life working out, we spent the last year within a short distance of each other.

Acne was a given with us. haha. He had quite severe acne for a time, but now has scars. His face is absolutely beautiful to me, not in spite of them, but WITH them. Acne brought us together, brought us friendships, ultimately brought us love...I don't think there is anything negative we could say about it.

For what it's worth, I never worried about him seeing me without makeup on. In fact, we officially started dating in the midst of backpacking...so not only was my face not nice and made up, but I was sweaty and probably needed a shower. I think our circumstances made talking about skin easier in a way, but regardless I never had a problem to begin with. He kisses my face, touches my face, and I his. I cannot imagine it being otherwise.

Lets all be thankful for love! And for those of you who haven't found it, be patient, it'll happen.

[Gutterflower]

My last boyfriend really didn't care about my skin at all. We were together for two years, and in the first few months I tried so hard to conceal it, but considering I'd have really, really bad days, there wasn't a lot I could do to cover it up at times.

I distinctly remember one night where I took my makeup off in front of him (he'd seen my bare face plenty of times before then), and it hurt so much that I burst into tears. I crawled into bed next to him and he started telling me all the things about me that are beautiful.

There are people out there that love you for who you are. They're not even as hard as you think to find.

[Zester]

Thank you all,I really enjoyed reading all of these stories.They really give me hope.I accepted the fact that I ll never be loved because of my skin(I no longer have acne,but I do have many,some very deep scars).What especially irritates me is that,when Im siiting at home,my face is quite calm,but when I go out it instantly becomes shiny and red.
But,I saw him.His face is perfect,so white and gentle.I see him quite often,and had so many opportunities to start talking to him,but I just cant.I think my face would be in flames at that moment(although I do wear powder).The situation is not easier considering I am shy,and he seems not only shy,but as the world around him doesnt interests him at all,except his science(he studies history).Some of my friend say how great person I am and how they didnt noticed my bad skin,but many others still look at me as if Im contagious.After reading these stories,Im starting to think that I really should somehow find a way to talk to him...But easier said then done.

Edited by Zester, 06 July 2011 - 07:42 AM.

[AmaraG]

I brought my friend to the gym once. She got hit on like crazy. The guy I like though has never tried to make a move in terms of talking to me, but we'd constantly be glancing at each other; my friend even said he was checking me out lol. I hope that I can find confidence to just TALK to him. The most I've said to him was "sorry" when I bumped into him the very first time I started going to the gym in the evenings, and liked him ever since haha. Hopefully I can make everyone here proud by finally talking to him somehow, some way. I just don't know how to talk to guys. At all.

Sometimes guys just need a push. I made all the moves with Rob because he is SO shy and unassuming. We used to stay up til 3am talking online but he never asked me out so in the end I wrote him an email before I went on holiday saying "I'm off for a week, it's probably a good thing that you never go out in Stourbridge (my town) as you'd be avoiding the awkwardness of your sister's mate hitting on you"

The night I got back from my jollies I went out in a totally different city called Worcester. And I bumped into Rob, serendipity? While we were talking his friend came over and I was introduced. His friend said "ahhh so this is the girl you were trying to get us to go to Stourbridge for!"

I kissed him shortly after and we've been kissing ever since. I'm so glad I made the first move.

I agree with Rubberduck. Ask him for help on the equipment then buy him a drink to say thanks! He is obviously interested if he keeps glancing over at you!

That is a cute story! Glad you began this thread...
I also "first move" so to speak with my relationship. We were at a bookstore and he was definately checking me out and hanging right next to me pretending to be reading (wink) ..but I knew he was hesitating because he didnt want to be the guy usuing " some stupid pick up line"...so I actually opened the conversation by making a comment about the book he had in his hand.Later he told me he was glad that I was the one who spoke first as it made him see me as a really open person. No need to play mental games but yes, a little something to open the conversation whether at the gym or in a random store/park/coffee shop you never know when you will meet the right person its not usually when you expect it.
Well that was 9 years ago and were still together )

*As always be cautious with strangers, but dont be shy and Im sure you will find most guys are more than pleased when a girl opens the conversation.

[AmaraG]

When it comes to dating, (most will be shocked to hear) but acne isnt that big of a deal. Really.

Ive never had perfect skin but never had anyone I dated make comments or even really look at it much. My husband now also has had some acne himself...a few times when I was feeling really bad because of my skin, he said he knows how I feel but he never noticed it on ME I just was seeing it out of proportion on myself. He told me he is reluctant to go to the beach srhirtless because of some scars he has on his back..and I never noticed these!
If someone likes you as a person, they will find plenty to admire...other fearures, personailty, and that "something' which cant be named that attracts .Chemistry? lol.

Should one of you come across a person who thinks badly of you because of your acne...well they must be obsessed with the fake plastic-y Hollywood image which isnt realistic. They are shallow and need to grow up. Nobody is perfect acne or not...everyone had something they are self-consious over and if a person is attracted to you, they will point out all the things which are right about you )

[abigailwheeler]

When it comes to dating, (most will be shocked to hear) but acne isnt that big of a deal. Really.

Ahh you met your boyfriend in a bookshop? That sounds like the premise to a movie

I think that the world would have you believe that all men are going around looking for chicks and making the first move and girls who hit on guys are loose. But it's such rubbish. Most of those cocky over confident guys turn out to be complete nutcases or jerks.

Guys have insecurities just like girls. Rob said to me that if I hadn't been as blunt and honest as I'd been, he'd never have made a move because he thought I was 'out of his league'. I still can't get my head around him thinking that because he still makes me weak at the knees

You don't know how many deep breaths I took to get the courage to press send on that email, but when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, what have you got to lose?

[PaulH85]

When it comes to dating, (most will be shocked to hear) but acne isnt that big of a deal. Really.

Ahh you met your boyfriend in a bookshop? That sounds like the premise to a movie

Amara has told me this before and my response was the same: it's exactly like a movie! A lovely story! Makes me think I need to go and hang out in book shops more!
It did actually make me see that these things could happen literally anywhere and at any point, with anyone, and usually when we're not expecting it.

[AmaraG]

When it comes to dating, (most will be shocked to hear) but acne isnt that big of a deal. Really.

Ahh you met your boyfriend in a bookshop? That sounds like the premise to a movie

I think that the world would have you believe that all men are going around looking for chicks and making the first move and girls who hit on guys are loose. But it's such rubbish. Most of those cocky over confident guys turn out to be complete nutcases or jerks.

Guys have insecurities just like girls. Rob said to me that if I hadn't been as blunt and honest as I'd been, he'd never have made a move because he thought I was 'out of his league'. I still can't get my head around him thinking that because he still makes me weak at the knees

You don't know how many deep breaths I took to get the courage to press send on that email, but when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, what have you got to lose?

yes Abigail thats true...did I mention when we met I barely spoke recognisable English lol?...and now we are married and have a 5 year-old boy D
Youre lucky to have found someone who feels the same about you and you do about him...
I love these cute stories I hope to hear more of them from the rest of you singles in a few months time! <3

[Again!]

So, I just had to post! Let me first start out by saying that I am very hard on myself and honestly cannot see beauty past my horrific severe cystic acne. But somehow my husband of almost ten years can. I have had acne since before we even met and he looked past it. Even on those nights when I'm crying about how horrible I look and I ask him how can he even look at me?-He says, "I don't see your acne when I look at you, I see you!" I ask him how it dosen't bother him and he just says that it dosen't and he loves me. When I cry, he just hugs me. Ahhh, he's a keeper I tell you! I just love him!